CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
Knight
Yeah, I was a fucking dead man.
But if you asked me right then and there, I would have said I didn’t give a fuck.
Somehow in the back of my mind, I knew that we were an explosion just waiting to blow. As much as I tried to deny it and push my feelings away, I knew better.
And once Brass found out, I’d man the fuck up and pay the price. Even if it was disappointment. Which I suspected would make me feel worse than the wrath of his anger.
How could the best thing in my life also be the worst?
Not that it had anything to do with her. No, not a fucking thing about her was disappointing. It was more of what she was and not who.
A club princess who’s dad could have my balls in a split second. And I doubted he would hesitate to do just that, once I told him. Which was the plan, because I didn’t want him to find out any other way. I respected the man enough to let him know it was me who planned to defile his daughter over and over again.
Okay, maybe I wouldn’t put it that way, but it was the basic point.
Because now that I’d had a taste of her on my tongue, there was no way I could walk away from her.
It wasn’t just the thought of sinking myself into her, though. It was the fact that when I touched her I didn’t want to ever stop. And when I kissed her, she kissed me back as if her life depended on it. When she looked at me, it was like I was the only thing that existed. And in her eyes, I saw love.
Sure, it scared the hell out of me, but only because I was pretty sure she could see the exact same thing when she looked into mine
This had been years in the making. Hell, a lifetime in the making. And I was stupid to try and resist it. Seeing that now, though, didn’t make this situation any better.
We had things we needed to say. To talk about. Things that I knew we were both holding back. I was smart enough to know that we couldn’t move forward until we dealt with the past. The thing I wanted the most was to start this with eyes wide open for both of us. I wanted her to know my reasons for why I did what I did and that no matter how far away I had been from her, she was always there with me. I hadn’t forgotten her and I had a good idea that was what she’d thought all these years.
I blew out a harsh breath as my fingers held on tighter to her sleeping body. I was tired but my fucking dick was screaming angry words at me. I didn’t know how long I lay there lost in thought and the damn thing still wouldn’t go down. But it wasn’t like I could do anything about it now.
For one, I wasn’t about to move. There was no way that anything could take me away from this bed and the beautiful angel sleeping in my arms.
And two, I wasn’t about to pull my shit out right there and start jacking it. That was just some creepy shit right there and I wasn’t one of those people.
So, it looked like I was just going to have to grin and will it to go to sleep unsatisfied.
A few hours later, when I felt something warm and wet on my cock, made me wonder if I was having one of those very real, very vivid dreams. The kind that I didn’t want to wake from. The kind I might actually dirty my sheets from.
There was moaning. Was that from me? No, because not only had I heard it, I felt it shoot straight through my dick.
This wasn’t a dream.
My eyes shot open and my head lifted up. Words escaped me as I watched the top of Gwen’s blonde hair bob up and down just under the covers that somehow hid most of the show. It was that moment her eyes looked up and met mine. Those fucking deep blue orbs did me in. They always had.
She released my dick from her mouth, taking a moment to slide her tongue up the length of my shaft from root to tip. Never had I seen something so sexy in my entire life.
My brain tried to reason with me. Tried its hardest to get me to stop this. I’d said things last night that I really fucking meant and I needed to stick to that because it was really fucking important to me.
“Gwen,” I managed to croak out.
And you know what she did? Fluttered her lashes at me as she moved to take me in so deep I felt her throat tighten around the head of my cock.
“No, baby. Fuck.” I tried tapping her head like I was trying to tap out or some shit. I told my self to focus as she ignored my attempt to get her to stop. And, no, the fact that I called her baby didn’t escape me. “We need to talk. I mean it, Gwen.”
Her head pulled back and she released me with a loud pop.
“So talk. But I’m not stopping,” she said like it was that easy for me to do.
Words.
I needed to say words.
But I struggled with everything I’d spent thinking about and wanted to get out in the open.
“Your dad,” I blurted out. And if there was ever a mood killer, that should have been it.
“Really, Knight?” Her face scrunched up with disgust. “You want to talk about my dad while I’m going down on you? Is there something seriously fucked up with you?”
Then a look crossed her face that made me feel bad. I knew what she was thinking in that moment and it couldn’t have been further from the truth.
“Gwen, eyes,” I demanded and when she lifted them back to look at me I could see uncertainty as well as some wetness clouding her eyes. “One, I need to do this thing right. I need to talk to your dad and tell him what is going on and how I feel before I, no, we can move forward. I respect the man and I owe him that much. He may not like it, which I’m prepared for, but I won’t keep shit from him. Especially when it involves you.”
I paused taking in a deep breath. My damn cock was still hard even with the subject of her dad. It didn’t help that her lips were only inches away from it and every time she breathed I could feel her hot breath fanning over my crown.
“Two,” I made sure I had her eyes before I said this, “I need you to know that I want you. For fuck’s sake, we just talked about your dad and my dick is still hard for you. That is how much you fucking affect me.”
“We done talking?” she asked then did a slow, tortuous lick up my cock.
“No,” I panted as my eyes threatened to roll back into my head. “There is more.”
“About my dad?”
“Fuck no. That was my point. I made it.”
“Good,” she said with a smile that had a touch of the devil in it. “Go on, then. And if you stop, then I stop.”
As her mouth began to work me I was torn. So damn torn. With a deep breath in, I tried my best to focus.
“I’m not going to say I was wrong back then. But maybe I wasn’t completely right, either. I did what, at the time, I felt was the best and right thing for you. Maybe for both of us. Fuck, Gwen. I was just a kid. We both were. And things were changing and I had no idea what was going on.”
She moaned around me and I wasn’t sure if it was because she was enjoying it or letting me know she was listening. Either way, I didn’t care because it felt so fucking good.
“Everyday I hated myself. I missed you. I never forgot you. There wasn’t a day that went by that I didn’t think about you or wanted to hear your voice. I thought that leaving would be the right thing and I’d be able to move on. I hoped it would work the same for you. But it didn’t. I only missed you more because I didn’t even have that chance, that hope, that I’d see you around the clubhouse.”
Her mouth slipped away from me but I knew she wasn’t going to leave.
“You hurt me, Knight.” Her whispered confession was heartbreaking. I knew I had, but to hear her say the words did me in. A second later, her warm mouth surrounded me again. Almost as if she hadn’t even stopped or paused to speak.
Then it was like a slap in the face. It hit me why she wanted it this way. She needed to have this conversation and have some sort of distraction. She needed that buffer between such a painful subject. Gwen faced things the way she felt the safest, with a little distance. I knew that and I should have seen it sooner. She had to be in control of how the situation was handled, and let me tell you, she was the one with all the control right then.
As fucked up as it might have seemed, I let it slide. I didn’t call her out or stop her. And I did realize that I benefited from that as well, but it didn’t make me feel good about it.
“I’m sorry,” I panted out feeling the tingling start at the base of my spine. “So fucking sorry.”
My hand tangled in her hair, the strands felt silky between my fingers. I didn’t push her down or try to fuck her mouth, though I desperately wanted to. I let her have the control but I had to touch her. I had to let her know that I was there with her right at this moment.
She sucked me in deeper, harder and I was seconds away.
“I’m gonna cum, baby,” I grunted looking into her eyes.
She shocked the shit out of me when she didn’t move away. Instead, she started massaging my balls with one hand while the other wrapped around the base of my cock. Her hand followed her mouth with just the right grip and seconds later, I was calling her name as I came inside her sweet mouth.
She sucked and swallowed and milked every last drop of me. My body fell limp against the mattress. With the last little bit of strength I had, I snagged her under the arms and pulled her on top of me. My hands pushed her hair away from her face as my face moved closer to hers.
“Wait,” she practically screeched as she covered her mouth with one hand. “I haven’t brushed my teeth yet.”
My head fell back against the pillow as I let out a loud laugh. Was she serious?
“Baby,” I said getting up in her face again. “You just gave me the best blowjob of my life. You think I’m going to wait to kiss you after that?”
The answer was ‘fuck no.’
I pulled her into me and kissed the hell out of her and it only took her a split second to relax and melt into me. I wouldn’t lie, I loved this. Every second of it. Everything single thing about it.
“You’re still naked,” I said against the soft skin of her neck as I placed a few delicate kisses there.
“Well, yeah.” She giggled and I felt her fingers rake through my hair. “I kinda figured after you gave me that bone-melting orgasm earlier, clothing was optional.”
“Always. Clothing should always be optional. Matter fact, clothes shouldn’t be an option at all.” I smiled up at her.
“So, you just want me to walk around naked all the time?” Her eyes shined with mirth.
“Yes,” I said and nodded my head.
“Alright. Just remember you said that when the boys are over here hanging out.” She rolled out of the bed with lightning speed.
“Oh, fuck no!” I growled as I sat up and attempted to grab her to pull her back in bed. But I wasn’t fast enough and she was making her way out of the room. The sheets caught around my legs as I vaulted over the end of the bed and wrapped my arms around her waist. “No one sees this but me,” I said low and dangerous into her ear.
“If you say so,” she said as she tried to cover up the fact that her body had just done a hard shiver against me. “I gotta get ready for work.”
“Gwen,” I said in a tone that let her know I knew exactly what she was doing.
She didn’t move, her back stayed plastered to my front for a few long beats. It didn’t escape me that she hadn’t talked. The ‘we’ part of that conversation I wanted to have somehow turned into just me talking.
“I’ll talk later, Knight. Right now I just need to…” She blew out a harsh breath and frantically ran her fingers through her hair. “I need to digest it all for a bit. Yeah?”
“Alright,” I said placing a few light kisses along her shoulder. “But I want to hear it all. Don’t hold back because you’re afraid to let me know how much you hurt.”
“Okay,” she whispered, then turned in my arms. With one sweet, slow kiss she made the world disappear, then she was pulling away from me. “Oh, by the way. My dad will be in town this weekend.”
Shit!
She flashed me a smile then darted out of my room and across the apartment into hers.
It looked like I was going to have that talk with Brass sooner than I was prepared for. It wasn’t that I wanted to put it off. It was more that with those few words, reality crashed down on me like a two-ton car.