CHAPTER TWENTY
Gwen
No friggin’ surprise that I couldn’t sleep. Not after that earth-shattering kiss, no way in hell. For hours I tossed and turned replaying the whole thing over and over in my head.
Best kiss in the history of kisses. Okay, maybe I didn’t really know that for sure. But it was the best kiss in my history. Like nothing else could ever come close.
My fingers moved to touch my lips like somehow the magic tingle that I felt when his lips were on mine was still lingering there. Like I could wipe it away and spread that feeling throughout my body right at that moment.
To say I was one giant ball of frazzled nerves, sexual frustration, confusion, and desperate need would have been the world’s biggest understatement. I wasn’t sure which one was worse. The confusion eventually brought back the hurt. Because I had to face it, I wanted things, but wasn’t sure where he stood.
Then there was the fact that I was just a tad bit timid when it came to Knight. Or rather, showing any piece of my heart to him. I wondered if the feelings of what he had done to me would ever fade away. I didn’t trust him completely, that was it. I trusted him in little ways like to watch out for me. To have my best interest in mind. To keep me safe.
But I absolutely didn’t one hundred percent trust him not to pull away with some shit excuse and turn his emotional back on me.
The thing that got me was that look. The one he had in his eyes as he forced himself to pull away from the kiss. Damn Mouse for ruining the moment that I’d dreamed of for a long time. Knight’s face had been a mix of everything that I was feeling. We were on the same page, for once, and I wasn’t sure what to do with that. He felt it, too, the crazy rush and just rightness of it. There was no doubt that we had always been right and for some stupid reason we’d both done out part to deny for so long. To ourselves. To each other.
Then I watched as the shade slowly slide closed and I saw a tinge of regret and panic in his eyes. I may have felt a small amount of regret, but definitely a lot of panic. Because…where did we go from here? How do I go back to whatever the fuck we were before that kiss? Oh, and the big thing, how could I not think about how amazing sex would be with him?
So then my brain went there. All I could envision was something not only out of this world magical, but hot, filthy, and demanding as well. No amount of rubbing my swollen clit would relieve this ache and I knew it. I didn’t bother trying, though I couldn’t stop my thighs from pressing together in an attempt to dull that damn ache.
As the morning light had started to barely make its way through the sheer curtains in my room, I blew out a tired and frustrated breath. Then before I could even overthink about what I was doing, I rolled out of bed. My bare feet carried me out of my room and across the apartment. All the way to the other side of the living room and to the closed door that hid the very man I’d spent the entire night thinking about. Or, a lifetime, really. Because it seemed Knight was always there in my friggin’ mind, even if he was tucked away in the very back corners, dark and hidden, just waiting to jump out at any random time and push his way into the forefront of my thoughts.
I turned the handle. I was going to do this. And though I was a bit shaky inside, it felt right. I needed him. I needed to touch him. Feel him against me. And yes, I needed to know he could fuck my world up even more. Because I had no doubt that once this was over, it would wreck me beyond repair.
The door opened slowly and as soon as I laid eyes on him, his body jerked up, his legs bent up slightly and his arms went around them, clasping in front.
There wasn’t a sound as a padded my way to the end of his bed. There wasn’t a word said as I placed one knee on the bed and then the other. There wasn’t even a breath released as I crawled my way to him, forcing his arms to release the lock he had around his legs.
The small amount of light in his room allowed me to see the hunger taking over his blue eyes. His chest heaved as his legs fell back down against the mattress and his hands fisted the sheets at his sides. He didn’t look away from my eyes and my nerves caused a tornado of butterflies to attack my belly.
I didn’t think about what I was doing. If I did, I knew I might chicken out. So I just felt the moment and moved like I had all the confidence in the world as I straddled his lap. He visibly swallowed and I watched as his Adam’s apple slowly bobbed. His jaw was tight and I watched it tick as he clenched his teeth over and over.
He was holding back, I only wished I knew why. What was it that made him walk away from me nine years ago? What was it that kept him from giving in to what he wanted right now?
Because it was very obvious that he wanted it. I could see it in his eyes. Feel it pushing against my heat. And that stole all my focus at the moment. Because not only was he extremely hard, he was thick and long. I could tell that and I hadn’t even seen it yet. That was how much I was able to feel and it took all my strength not to grind and rub on him like a horny, desperate teenager.
He was bare-chested and only wearing a pair of boxers from what I could tell under the sheet that had pooled around his waist.
My fingers danced over his sculpted muscles and they tensed under my touch. I couldn’t stop touching him nor did I want to. His skin was soft and his muscles firm. I made my way up lightly brushing over his nipples and around his shoulders. He stayed still, the only thing moving was his chest as it heavily rose and fell.
“Gwen,” he said in a strangled whisper.
My eyes snapped from where my fingers danced over his skin to meet his eyes. He was holding on by a thread and I knew I would break before him. Because right then, right there, I wasn’t going to hold back any longer.
“You and me, Knight.” I licked my lips as his parted in silent need. “Against the world…”
“Forever,” he breathed out and I was so close to his mouth that I felt it against my lips.
With greedy hands, I fisted the hair at the top of his head and held him still as I pushed my mouth against his. Lips met in a needy and desperate kiss, wet and ravenous. A moan rang out in my ears and I wasn’t sure which one of us it was from. It could have been me. I was so lost in him that I wasn’t even aware of what was going on.
Suddenly his hands were on me, his fingers digging into my hips as he pulled me closer. I rocked against him as my peaked nipples brushed up against his chest and I wished there wasn’t the thin cotton of my shirt between us.
Like he had just read my mind, his hands slid under my shirt and our lips broke apart only long enough for him to rip up and over my head.
“Fuck, Gwen,” he growled as he cupped my breasts and kissed down my neck. The feeling of his scruff rubbing the delicate skin sent shivers down my spine. “You know how many times I’ve thought about this?”
My head lolled back as my back arched, pushing my breasts harder into his chest. I couldn’t answer but I was sure he wasn’t really asking for one.
“So many fucking times.” He nibbled the column of my throat. “It’s killing me to have you here. Smelling you all the fucking time. Seeing you in those skimpy clothes you call sleepwear. Hearing you laugh. And that smile. Fuck! It does me in every time.”
He went on, kissing, licking, nibbling my skin in between his words. The combination was intoxicating. His mouth closed around my nipple as his hands pushed into my shoulder blades. I shamelessly rocked against his hard length.
Clothes.
There were too many clothes.
In one quick, unexpected movement I landed on my back, bouncing slightly as I hit the plush mattress. His body covered mine as his lips descended onto mine again.
Sparks shot off in my brain. I couldn’t form a coherent word or thought.
“Tell me this is real,” he said, his eyes heavy with lust as they looked down into mine. “Tell me this isn’t another dream. Some desperate hallucination.”
His left hand ghosted down my side as he held his weight on his other arm which was propped beside my head.
“Touch me, please,” I whined.
Before I could even blink, my pants, along with my panties, were pulled down my legs and tossed to the side. My legs fell open and I lay there sprawled out for the taking. He leaned back on his heels, his eyes roaming every inch of me. I felt exposed and raw and somehow completely at ease with it all.
“Fucking perfect,” he whispered and I wondered if he was even aware that he had said those words out loud.
He leaned forward, kissing me with a deep but quick kiss. Then his tongue was leaving a hot, wet trail down my body. My hands threaded through his hair as he did a slow lick of my pussy. With a growl, like it was the best thing he’d ever tasted, he buried his face in between my legs.
Tongue, teeth, lips. So much it was overwhelming and within seconds, I felt the buildup burst into the most earth-shattering orgasm I’d ever had.
I called out his name, no, more like screamed. Over and over, it ripped from my throat as I rocked my body into his mouth and crashed over the edge.
I couldn’t breathe. I couldn’t see. The only sound I heard was the blood pounding in my ears. I felt dizzy and light like I was floating. Sweat coated my skin as my limbs began to tingle.
Wow.
Holy shit!
I’d never come that fast or hard, ever.
I wanted more but I couldn’t even move a single part of my body.
But before I could say anything, he was tossing the covers over us as he pulled my limp body into his side.
No, this wasn’t over. It couldn’t be. I wanted more. Needed more. And he hadn’t even gotten off. How was that fair?
“Sleep, Gwen.” He sweetly brushed the hair off of my forehead then planted a lingering kiss there. “Not yet, okay?”
His tone was new to me and left me with a million questions bouncing around in my brain. I lifted my head to look at him, only to have his warm hand cradle my jaw and lightly push my head back onto his shoulder.
“We need to talk before this goes any further,” his words left no room for argument. “And…there’s something I need to do.”
Cryptic much?
But my brain was too tired to even begin to press him for an explanation.
With a huge yawn, I snuggled up closer into his side and breathed in his scent. It was only a few seconds later that I was out like a light.