CHAPTER SIXTEEN
Chapter 15
Moving On.
Maggie
The next morning I wake up to a steady thump under my head. It takes me a minute to remember the night before.
Parole hearing.
Breakdown.
Max.
Dustin.
The Rape.
Max holding me.
I keep my eyes closed and just push it all away. Right here, right now, I just want to feel this.
Safe.
Protected.
Cared for.
Cracking my eyes open feels like I’m trying to lift weights with my eyelids. They are swollen from crying so much and my throat feels like someone used sandpaper on it. I blink a couple of times and realize that sometime in the night I wrapped myself around Max. My head is on his chest, my right arm is thrown over his waist and my leg is over both of his. Not that he isn’t holding me as well. The arm under my neck is wrapped around my shoulders holding me to him, his other arm is on my thigh keeping my leg in place.
I have a split second of panic being this close to him.
Being this close to anyone.
Then I take a breath and just let it out and let it go.
There is some deep part of me that knows Max would never hurt me. It’s less about what he tells me and more about what he shows me.
The way he always touches me gently, giving me plenty of time to pull away.
He’s intense but isn’t aggressive or rough with me when we train.
More importantly it’s the way he looks at me. I’m not clueless, I know what need looks like, but its more than that. He looks at me like I’m… important.
I feel needed.
Wanted.
Desired.
There is just something different about having a connection with someone and feeling their desire for you. It’s more than the lusty look of a stranger or the wanting look of an acquaintance. It’s the knowledge that this person wants you. Craves you. On more than one level. That power, knowing you make someone else feel as deeply and as intensely as you do, is heady.
I never experienced that before.
With Dustin everything was on his timetable. He pressured me into things even if at the time I didn’t realize it. Now I know that the things he did were controlling and manipulative.
Sex especially was an issue he pressed before I was ready.
With Max I can almost feel his control, like it’s a tangible shield coating him that I can reach out and touch.
He holds himself back, always waiting for me to make the next move, and that right there is what helps me fight through the fear.
Laying here with my head over his heart, his arms wrapped around me and his smell and warmth surrounding me, I feel safer than I have in months. Closing my eyes I take a deep breath and just push everything away. I don’t know how long I lay there listening to Max’s deep steady breathing, or feeling his heart beat under my head.
I must have dozed off because the next thing I know I wake up with the sun streaming though the window and an empty bed. I feel a flash of disappointment that Max isn’t with me but then I hear noise from downstairs and I can’t help the smile that stretches across my face.
He stayed.
He knows everything and he stayed.
He stayed with me.
Shaking my head trying to dislodge the silly smile I feel spreading across my face I drag myself out of bed and into the bathroom.
Looking at myself in the mirror I almost flinch. My eyes are kind swollen and puffy, I have a pillow crease on my cheek and my nose is red from wiping it so much. Shaking my head I get ready for the day, wash my face, brush my hair and teeth, and then change out of the clothes I wore the day before into a pair of sweatpants and a tank top. I put my hair up in a ponytail and debate putting on some make-up before going downstairs and then decide against it before heading down stairs.
He has already seen me a broke sobbing mess. I doubt a little mascara would make much of difference.
Walking into the kitchen I stop dead in my tracks as I take in the scene in front of me. Max is standing shirtless at the stove. His jeans are riding kind of low on his hips so I can see the top of his underwear peaking out right below his six pack. I feel my mouth go dry as I take him in.
There isn’t one ounce of fat on him. He has a big back tattoo that spans shoulder to shoulder and it looks almost like tribal wings. He has a couple of arm tattoos and looking at his side there is one on his side in cursive script that I can’t read. I swallow, several times, to try to clear my throat to speak but speech seems to be kind of an issue right now. I can’t seem to remember how to do it.
Just when I’m about to back out of the room to pull myself together Max turns catching sight of me and gives me a big lopsided smile. That smile… defiantly does things to me. I catch my bottom lip between my teeth trying to stifle a whimper when he turns and I see the whole front of him. I was wrong.
Not a six pack.
An eight back.
He has an eight back.
I hear a low growl and my eyes snap back up to his face only to find the smile gone and Max staring at my mouth.
With this hungry look on his face.
Without looking away he turns off the stove and drops the spatula on the counter while stalking towards me. I feel myself back up until I hit the wall by the refrigerator. He keep coming until he is right in front of me. He braces his hands on either side of me before leaning in until his face is maybe an inch from mine. My mouth drops open a little and one of Max’s hands comes up slowly and touches my bottom lip, rubbing the indentation my teeth made.
“You shouldn’t do that Maggie,” he whispers to me as he continues to rub my bottom lip.
“Why?” I breath out as his hand moves and he traces his finger down my chin to my neck.
“Because you have no idea how sexy you look with that plump lip caught between your teeth, standing there all flushed. Makes me want to do things to you I know your not ready for”.
I let out a rough breath when his hand moves to the hallow of my throat before lightly tracing along my the neckline of my tank right above my breasts. Catching that intense look in his eyes as he stares at his finger running along the top swell of my breasts.
I can’t help it.
I push.
“Like what?”
His eyes snap back up to mine and the desire in his eyes is so strong I feel a shiver work its way down my spine. Nobody has ever made me feel like this before. Like all the never endings in my body come alive when he touches me. Whatever this connection is between us scares me, but more than that, it draws me in. It makes me crave things I never thought I could ever want again. Relishing in the fact that I’m not paralyzed by my fear I embrace this wanting feeling inside of me and see where it takes me. Taking an unsteady breath I look into Max’s eyes and let him see just what he does to me, just how much I have come to want him.
“What do you want to do to me?”
“I… I don’t know”.
It came out more timid than I meant it to, but it was the truth. I felt more, I wanted more, but I had no idea what that was. Something shifted and Max’s eyes softened. He reached up with the hand that was running along the top of my tank top and cupped my face.
“Let’s start here”.
He leaned down and I just knew he was going to kiss me. Right before his lips touched mine he whispered,
“Tell me to stop and I will”.
Once his lips hit mine, telling him to stop was the last thing on my mind.
The kiss started out soft, sweet and almost barely there. Then his tongue slipped across my lower lip. Max moved his hand down from the wall by my head, down my side to my hip and pulled me flush against his hard body. I gasped in surprise and he took the opportunity and swept into my mouth. I reached up and grabbed onto his shoulders for dear life and just held on for the ride.
Just when I thought he would push for more he slowed down the kiss again. He pulled away and rested his forehead against mine, before pulling back and opening his eyes.
“You’re not ready for more Maggie, but we will get there. Okay?”
Trying to remember how to speak was a challenge, but I finally managed to nod, which only made that smirk of his make it’s appearance. Leaning down he brushed a kiss against my forehead and reached down for my hand. He pulled me over to the island, pulled out my chair and walked back around to finish cooking breakfast.
The kiss coma was starting to wear off and with it came fresh doubts. I understood him being her meant that everything I told him last night hadn’t sent him running, but what exactly did he want from me? What did I want from him? How was this going to work?
“Stop”.
I look up at the gentle command from Max. His eyes are on me and full of understanding and compassion. He picks up two plates with eggs, bacon and toast, before coming around the island and sitting next to me. After he sits and puts our plates down he turns his chair to face me.
“Maggie, we don’t have to figure everything out right now. I will tell you I want more from you than to just be your friends, but like I said before we go at your pace. Just know that I’m not going anywhere. Okay?”
It takes me a minute to speak past the catch in my throat, but when I do I speak with more conviction than I feel.
“I’m not going anywhere either.”
At that he gives me a soft smile and leans over to brush a kiss across my lips.
“Eat up, we have a long day ahead of us.”
I have no idea what he is talking about, but I turn around and start eating. I may not know what’s going to happen, but I do know now thing, I trust Max. I just met him, but I trust him. I don’t know why or how it happened, but it has so for the first time in a long while I’m not going to think about what comes next and just be here.
***************
Max
Slamming the door to my truck I look over at Maggie as we walk up to the gym. She has a small smile on her face, but she is looking at me curiously like she’s trying to figure out what we are doing here. I give her a smile of my own and wink at her before heading in. I grab her hand and lead her toward the back of the gym to the private room we had our first meeting in. I stop and unlock the door, pull her inside and close it once again. Turning around I see she dropped her sweatshirt on the chair in the corner and is standing there looking at expectantly.
I walk over to her and drop my stuff next to hers, before grabbing her hand and leading her into the center of the room. I can’t stop touching her. In the care on the way here, during breakfast and especially last night. Considering she moves into my touch whenever I do touch her I think she has the same problem I do with keeping our hands to ourselves.
Releasing her, rather reluctantly, I turn her around to look at me.
“We are going to work on some offense moves. I’m going to teach you how to throw a proper punch so that you don’t hurt your hand, but you hurt your opponent. Then we are going to get into some take downs and some basic defense maneuvers. Okay?”
She nods, but I see the nerves starting to creep in. My goal for the next six weeks is to teach her as much as I can and help her feel as strong as possible before this hearing. I don’t want her to have to do this, but I think deep down she needs to. She didn’t get her day in court during the trial and I think getting to say her peace and be a part of keeping that animal in prison is going to help her more than she thinks. She hasn’t said whether or not she was going to do it and I’m not going to push her either way. I want her to feel strong enough to make the right decision for her.
Over the course of the next two hours everything else seems to disappear. We have a few moments where I use a move to my advantage giving her a quick kiss, which always seems to get a laugh out of her. We go through move after move and she picks them up faster and faster every time. By the time we are done we are both drenched in sweat and laying out on the mat int he gym staring at the sky through the sky lights. I feel her reach for my hand and turn my head to look at her.
This beautiful brown eyes of hers are focused on my and she has this intense look on her face.
“I’m going to speak at the hearing.”
I give her hand a squeeze, “Are you sure?”
For a few seconds she doesn’t say anything, but when she does it makes me fall a little harder for her and a feel a little more of my heart fill up with her.
“No, but I do know that it’s the right thing to do. Maybe I need it or maybe it will end up hurting me more than helping me. Either way someone has to try to make sure he stays in prison. I don’t know what I would do if I found out he got out because I didn’t speak up and hurt another girl. So, No, I am not sure, but I am going to do it.”
I lean over and rest my forehead against hers.
“Your amazing.”
“Will you go with me?”
“Every step of the way. I finally figured out what you are.”
She gives me a little laugh, “Oh yeah? What am I?”
“A warrior.”
The smile that was on her face dies and she gives a little shake of her head. Denying my words.
“You are Maggie, because you keep fighting. It doesn’t matter what’s in the past. Only that everything I learn about you tells me that you are going to keep fighting, despite the pain your in and that to me is a warrior.”
A tear slid down her cheek and she still doesn’t say anything. I reach over and wipe it away before whispering,
“My little warrior”.