CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
Chapter 17
Facing the Past
Max
It’s been two weeks since I told Maggie I love her. She still hasn’t said it back and I won’t lie and say that doesn’t hurt, but I didn’t lie to her that night either. I do know she loves me. In all those small little ways she shows me and in the past two weeks she has done everything she can to show me how much she loves me. She initiates contact more often, gives me those smiles of hers more freely and sometimes she just wraps herself around me and closes her eyes like she is holding onto me for dear life.
Like she is now.
As much as these weeks leading up to the hearing have flown by this day has seemed to be never ending. I took Char with me and we went to Maggie’s house this morning. We all ate breakfast together while her dad finished up some calls at work so he could spend the rest of the day with her uninterrupted. It was a mostly silent affair, none of us feeling the need to fill the air with platitudes about everything being okay or how proud of her were were for doing this when it cost her a lot.
When she went upstairs with Char to change her dad pulled me aside and handed me a little felt pouch. I opened it and inside was a diamond ring. It had a big center cut diamond, two smaller diamonds on either side and sapphires and diamonds along the top side of the band. I looked back up at Jackson and he had a sad nostalgic look on his face.
‘This was my mother’s ring and before that it was my father’s mother’s ring. It’s been in the family a long time. Everyone I know of who wore this ring had long healthy and happy marriages. If your serious about marrying Maggie I would like it if you used this ring.”
I look down at the ring and try to swallow the frog in my throat. He doesn’t seem to notice because he is still staring at the ring.
“Maggie’s mother didn’t think this ring was good enough so I bought her a different ring. That should have been my first indication that something was wrong. That she wasn’t the one, but I will never regret my marriage because it gave me Maggie. The best thing that ever happened to me. I can’t tell you what kind of pain you feel as a father when you realize you didn’t protect you baby. When you realize how hurt they were, body and soul and you couldn’t help them. I’m giving you this today because I have a feeling that a lot of things are going to change for her going forward after this and that you are going to be part of it.”
I put the ring back int he pouch and slip it into the breast pocket of my suit. I don’t care when I look back at him that there are tears rolling down my face because they are rolling down his too. It takes me a few times buy I finally clear my throat enough to answer the man who has given me the greatest gift in my life, Maggie.
“I would be honored and I just need you to know I love her. With everything I am. I know it hasn’t been long but I know its real and I know it’s true. When she’s ready for that step, I would be honored to use this ring.”
He nods his head and squeezes my shoulder before heading toward the kitchen wiping his face. I duck into the hall bathroom and wipe my own face, knowing there is now way to get rid of the red eyes, but I don’t want Maggie upset before she faces her past. Seeing me crying is bound to do that to her.
I go to stand at the bottom of the stairs and look up when I hear them coming down the stairs. I feel a punch to my gut when I see her. Her hair is straightened, her make up is minimal but highlights her beautiful eyes and Char was right about the outfit making her look sophisticated and sexy all at the same time. She gets to the bottom of the stairs and walks up to me. She’s nervous. I can practically feel the nerves vibrating off of her.
I put my hands on her shoulders and draw her into me resting my forehead against hers.
“You can do this baby.”
She closes her eyes and nods her head.
Stepping back she grabs my hand before turning to Char and her Dad.
“Let’s do this”.
****************
Maggie
We all piled into Dad’s truck and headed toward downtown toward the courthouse. Dustin was in prison in Connecticut and therefore to actually participate I would have had to fly back to Connecticut or I could read my statement via video conference in a court room. I in no way wanted to go back to Connecticut so they set it up so that I could read my statement at the D.A.’s office via video conference. Unlike being there in person I could have my Dad and Max in the room with me. I was only allowed two other people with me so Char was going to wait outside.
It seemed like the the twenty minute ride downtown took two minutes instead because the next thing I knew we were taking in front of the courthouse. We went through security, found the right area and sat outside the room we were assigned and waited. I honestly thought we would be there a while, but no sooner had we sat down that they were calling us in. I got up and suddenly felt like this was something I should do on my own. I turned toward Max and my Dad.
“Why don’t you guys wait out here with Char. I think I would rather do this on my own if that’s okay.”
Both of them looked like they wanted to object, but then Char came around them and gave me a tight hug.
“I get it. Give him hell”.
She pulled back and gave me a wink before sitting back down on the bench.
“You sure baby girl?”
I nodded my head and gave him a quick hug. When I pulled back Max looked like he was doing everything he could not to just explode right then and there
“I’m not letting you do this alone ,Maggie. I’m sorry. I just can’t.”
I grabbed his hand and squeezed.
“I need you to let me stand on my own for this Max. I need to know I can go in there and face this. I need that from me and from you. Please?”
He pulls me close and closes his eyes before leaning down and whispering the only words I needed to get through this and get back to him.
“I love you”.
I reach up and give him a quick kiss.
“I know. That’s why I can do this”.
I step back and he releases me rather reluctantly.
I turn and follow the court officer through the doors. I end up in a small courtroom that has several officials, a podium with a microphone and a camera set up in front of it.
A nice older man walks up to me.
“You must be Margaret Thompson. We are almost ready for you. Your going to step right up to the podium and look right at the camera. The TV screen along the side wall here will show you the parole hearing in Connecticut. After you have finished with your statement we will cut the video of you, but you can keep watching the rest of the hearing if you choose too. Okay?”
I nod my head because I’m afraid if I open my mouth to answer I might throw up all over the nice man.
He leads me over to the podium and positions the camera.
“I am going to give you a five second countdown in a about a minute okay?”
I nod again and just stare down at the statement I had prepared. Next thing I know I look up and the man turns to me and holds up five fingers.
Five.
I can’t breathe.
Four.
This was a mistake
Three.
Why didn’t I just submit this damn thing? Why am I reading it?
Two.
Oh god!
One.
I’m going to be sick.
“Parole Hearing of Dustin Carl Avery. Victim impact statement being shown via video conference. Read by victim Margaret Jordan Thompson. Houston Court Officer are you ready?”
The court officer looks at me and I nod once again.
He nods back and flips a switch.
The video of me pops up in the bottom left hand corner of the video of the Connecticut room. I look at it just in time to see them leading Dustin into the room. I expected the dread. The flash of panic. That nauseous feeling in the pit of my stomach.
I didn’t expect to notice how think he looks.
How small he looks in his oversized jumpsuit.
He looks… weak
Suddenly, I release the breath I was holding. It’s then I notice that the court officer was speaking.
“Ms. Thompson would you like to give a statement?”
I look at the screen and see Dustin turn toward the monitor there. His face tightens in anger. No rage.
“Yes I am.”
“You may begin”.
I look down at my statement and start reading without really thinking about what I’m doing.
“Two years ago I met a man who would systematically destroy part of my soul.
He abused me emotionally, physically and sexually more times than I can count.
This man broke into my home and proceeded restrain, beat and rape me.”
I have to pause and take a deep breath.
“After that night a piece of me was so broken that I tried to kill myself.
I wanted to end the hold he had on my and my life and I unfortunately thought that was my only way out.
I firmly believe had Dustin Avery thought he would go to jail for what he would do to me he would have killed me.
Since then I have healed and moved forward in my life.
This man was given five years for the destruction he wrought on my life.
I am here today to ask you to not let him out.
I spent almost a year in a mental hospital because of what this man did to me.
I don’t think its right we serve the same amount of time for a crime he committed.
I am here today to ask you to give me the five years I was promised for a crime that should have carried more weight.
I am asking you to ensure that justice is served and that this man serve the time he was ordered to.
If you release this man he will do to someone else, what he did tome.
Of that I have no doubt.
Thank you for letting me speak today. “
I look up and see the faces of the parole committee. All of them are stone faced.
“Thank you for your statement. We will take it into consideration.”
I had already sent in my statement to them before hand because they give the ruling the same day. The court officer nods at me and flips the switch taking the small video of me away from the corner of the screen. I close my eyes and take a deep breath and just let it all out.
I start when I feel a hand on my arm. I open my eyes to see the court officer.
“You did really good honey. If you want to see the ruling it will only take a couple of minutes I think. I have been doing this awhile. I can usually see how these things are going to go. You can sit right over there if you would like.”
I nod and he leads me over to a chair facing the screen. The committee has read off all the charges he was convicted of and now comes the ruling.
“Dustin Carl Avery, after careful consideration we are denying your application for parole”.
I close my eyes and feel the tears rolling down my face as Dustin explodes on the screen screaming about being let out and how they would all pay. I open them as they are restraining him and dragging him out fo the room. The video then cuts off and I am left sitting there with the court officers. I look around and get up and head towards the door.
It’s done.
I stopped him.
God I finally stopped him.
I open the door and there they are. Waiting for me. My dad with his head in his hands, Char staring down at her hands and Max pacing back and forth. I barely make it out the door before Max notices me first and heads straight for me and pulls me into the tightest hug. Soon I’m reluctantly passed off to my Dad and Char before I step back and feel the smile on my face as I share the news.
“They denied his application. I’m sure he will be up for parole again, but for the next six months or so at least he isn’t getting out.”
Everyone swarms me once again. Max wraps his arm around my shoulders and we all head toward the exit.
“Where do you want to go now?”
I look up at Max and say,
“Forward. I want to go forward”.