Mills

Nadine and I had been with each other every night. Either going out and experiencing something new about Iowa, or our small town of Libby, or staying in and enjoying each other’s company. It was important to me for us to really get to know each other as much as possible because in a couple of weeks, when she was done with school, I wanted her to be with me in a permanent way.

That is what I’d been planning as I talked to J.D. and Knox on a conference call.

“Let me get this right? You called to give J.D. shit because your little girlfriend was having a meltdown about her name not being on the invitation?” Knox asked.

I audibly sighed.

“Oddly enough, she wasn’t having the issue. It was me and the thing I’m worried about now is Becca bringing her ass to the wedding.” I told them.

“Naw, she won’t show. Too humiliated to do something like that.” J.D. tried to assure me, but I wasn’t convinced.

“That would be funny.” Knox chimed in.

“Oh no it wouldn’t. She’d be in for a rude awakening too.” I shared. “That would be crossing the line and the beginning of her demise.”

“Damn, brother,” Knox laughed with his hands held high in mock surrender. “But I get it.”

“Do you?” J.D. mocked.

“Yes, motherfucker,” Knox hissed. “For your information, I have a plan.”

“If it involves you fucking with Tess’ maiden of honor during our rehearsal or wedding, I will kick your ass and drag you around that church on my wedding day. That is, after Tess doesn’t do it first.”

This was a warning.

“Calm down,” Knox assured. “I got this.”

Oh boy.

“Dragged,” J.D. repeated.

We continued to discuss the plan I had in mind for Nadine and there was no resistance. Everything was working out smoothly that it almost seemed too good to be true. Though there was an eerie feeling in the pit of my stomach, I hated that I couldn’t really enjoy the momentary bliss because of that paranoid feeling that the other shoe would drop and remind me that life was indeed, not fair.

J.D. and Tess’ Wedding

Nadine and I argued about her buying her own plane ticket. I shared with her that I was a man who wasn’t asking or negotiating about who pays for things. I’m not sure why I said that because she nearly lost her mind. While she did that, I booked the tickets, slapped her ass, and then tossed her over my shoulders so I could show her the other type of man I was.

Unfortunately for the two of us, were separated once we landed. I had groomsmen duties and the ladies quickly grabbed her to help with everything that still needed to be done. I’m sure it was to get an idea of the new girlfriend. I tried to warn Tess and Nina, but that was like trying to advise a bull. Tess was super apologetic to her about the mishap with the invitation and Nadine just shrugged it off.

The rehearsal dinner went off without any problems. J.D. and I tried to play interference with Knox and Nina, but they both were on their best behavior.

We all stayed at the same hotel, but I was not able to see Nadine until after J.D. passed out after his bachelor’s party. We were tipsy but not completely fucked up. It was then that Knox left, probably to find Nina, and I left to find Nadine.

Knocking on her hotel door, she answered in those pajamas I loved so damn much. MILLS was written across the butt of her pajama bottoms and the T-shirt. Compliments of me when I hijacked her computer when she was placing an order for her group. I ordered some pajamas with MILLS in bold white letters on the butt and in big letters on the front of her matching T-shirt. Nadine was by far an overachiever, so I knew it was her idea for them to get matching T-shirts to present their group project and they received a perfect score.

When I first presented it to her, Nadine laughed hysterically but put them on right away. Unless I was peeling them off of her, my woman wore them all the time.

“On your knees,” I ordered her and immediately she obeyed me.

Fuck, I was gone for her. It was only a matter of time before I made her mine. She needed no further instructions, as she undressed me and wrapped those perfect lips around my straining cock. At first it was just the head, then she began to suck me down her throat, attempting to deep throat me. It was too much and too soon. I grabbed her by the neck to pull her up, so I could place her on the bed.

Damn, she was beautiful. Laid out just for me, waiting, writhing and willing. My cock was straining to get home and it knew, like I did, that home was only in her.

“Take me,” she cooed.

No more words had to be spoken as I pulled her legs open, positioned myself between them and began to push in and out of her with force and speed. Those moans, whimpers and sighs, had me moving faster and each stroke had me coming close, but I was not ready. Pulling out, I quickly turned Nadine over and slide in from behind into her snug pussy. She let out the most seductive groan, that had me pressing my thumb into her tight ass.  It was then, that the woman came on my cock and I was not far behind her.

We laid in that same position, with me spooning her, until the next morning. It was her in my arms that made me think of our wedding night, kids, life and legacy.

It would be great.

***

THE DAY OF THE WEDDING, I was just as excited for J.D. and Tess. For once, I felt like I knew what finding the one actually meant. There were no hesitations or trying to make it work. What Becca and I did wasn’t behavior that aligned with finding the one. Even from her actions. I wasn’t her one. She settled because it made her comfortable.

Now, I knew it mattered.

My brothers and I were lined up right next to J.D. in chronological order as the couple repeated their vows. A door slammed, causing a murmur to go through the crowd and everyone turning their heads.

Lo and behold, there was Becca coming down the aisle and slid in a row towards the back of the church.

“Holy fuck,” I hissed.

What in the wedding world was her ass doing here? That feeling hit me harder than ever. It was the shoe. The other damn shoe was dropping.

“Calm down,” Knox whispered.

There would be no calming down because for once I found happiness. If she thought she was about to disrupt that, she had another thing coming. J.D. and Tess said their vows, repeating after the minister and once he pronounced them husband and wife, my brothers and I went on another sort of alert. The wedding party began to file out, as we planned in rehearsal, but I made a detour and headed straight for Rebecca before Nadine could get a whiff of this shit.

Grabbing her arm and moving her outside, I hissed, “The fuck are you doing here?”

Nothing but mischief was in her narrowed eyes.

“We need to talk.” She snapped back at me.

“This is J.D.’s wedding. You felt this was the time to talk?” I was beyond livid because I knew her ass was up to no good. “You flew here to talk to me?”

“Well, yeah,” she snapped back. “This is the perfect time since I knew you’d have her here.”

Oh, fuck.

My head turned to see Nadine looking at the two of us standing near the limo. The plan was to meet her at the reception hall. She had the rental car and once the newly married couple was off, she and I were going to drive to the Poconos. That was the plan.

“What does she have to do with you coming here?” I lowered my voice, so I didn’t cause a scene.

Rebecca did not quite get that sentiment because she grew louder.

“Well, since you’ve dumped me for her,” she pushed her finger in the direction of Nadine, while emphasizing the word her. “I thought you should know I’m pregnant and it’s yours. I’ve only ever slept with you. You know this and I’m willing to take a test to prove it.”

And right upside my head it went.

The other shoe.

As my mind processed all that was said, the angrier I grew. Her crazy ass hopped on a plane to drop in on my brother’s wedding, so she could share in front of my woman that she was fucking pregnant.

Nadine caught on before I did because she grabbed the ends of her long dress and ran.

Fucking ran toward the parking lot.

“Nadine, Nadine,” I called.

The woman didn’t stop, went past go and seemed to pick up speed. This was the other damn shoe. As soon as it registered that she was leaving, I went to take off behind her but Knox stopped me and said, “Brother, I’m not sure what the hell is going on but your brother just got married and he needs you now.”

Fuck!

Fuck, fuck, fuck!

I would not ruin J.D.’s wedding because of Rebecca’s vindictive ass.

My eyes turned on my ex and I nearly growled, “I knew you could be a bitch, but I thought above all else we were friends.”

She jerked back as if I’d pushed her head back.

“You lost my friendship when you dumped me,” She hissed.

Great!

“Yeah, you’ve also lost my trust. I want that test and from here on out, you don’t talk to me. Have your lawyer contact mine.” I told her and got in the waiting limo.

Knox stayed outside for a minute and said something to her, but I just stared out the window as my heart wrung dry with very little blood left.

The primary muscle felt like it had been punctured and the life was flowing out of me. This was the other shoe and I swear I could have beat somebody with it.

Unfortunately, the reception went by in a blur, but I’m sure it was quite the ordeal with the way people were scooping up the hors d’oeuvres and food by the piles. I tried to wait until J.D. was set with everything and people were leaving before, I called Nadine. I’d been texting her throughout the event to see where she had gone and to dissuade her from doing whatever irrational thing she was thinking.

By the time I pulled away to go to the bathroom, there was a drunk guy passed out in the spacious room on the luxury couch. I called Nadine, ignoring his ass, and on the sixth ring, as if she was contemplating not answering the phone, she picked up.

“Nadine!” I called but she didn’t answer. “Hear me out, okay. I didn’t have sex with her since I’ve been with you. You know she’s vindictive and I thought it was handled, but sweetheart, we can handle this too. Okay?”

“Miller, I’m not sure that we can handle this one.” She finally spoke in a strained and raspy voice as if she’d been crying.

I wasn’t sure what broke my heart more, her sounding like that or my woman calling me Miller when no one that knows me addresses me in that way.  

“No, no, no.” I interjected. “We can get through this. I promise we can. I’ll get my lawyers on it as soon as we get back and find out what–”

“No, you’re not understanding. I’ve decided not to stay in Libby.” She began but I cut her off.

“Nadine, listen to me. Please listen.” I tried to talk over her, but she grew louder and more hysterical. Then I heard the tears through her voice, but she wouldn’t stop talking. “Will you stop?”

“No! I will not stop!” She yelled. “I am fucking moving! ASAP! Do not call, okay!”

“No, no, no. You can’t do this,” I seethed. “You can’t cut me off like that. I told you how I feel about you. I meant every fucking word. I don’t care if she’s pregnant.”

“I do,” she snapped back.

“I’ll take care of my responsibilities,” I countered.

“Yes, you will. By yourself.” She quipped. “You cannot expect someone to take care of another’s woman’s baby? Good luck with that.”

“Fuck, Nadine. No, gotdammit. I’ve waited too long for you. I didn’t fuck it up. I’m not asking you to take care of another woman’s baby.”

“I know she’s just proud as a peacock. She and her friends never thought I should have been in the picture anyway. Me being black and all. She’s white and that bitch fits the description in her mind.” She was babbling.

“What does she being white have to do with anything?” I asked, trying to follow her train of thought.

“What do you mean what does it have to do with anything?” She hissed. “This is the same prejudice bitch that cornered me in the market. She clearly had a problem with me and my skin color and you’re sitting up here taking up for her?”

“No, I’m not taking up for the prejudice bitch.” I tried to counter, but she kept talking.

“You know what, Miller. Take up for that bitch for all I care. You were with her in the first place, so maybe this all a blessing in disguise. So, you go and handle your business and I’ll handle mine. I don’t have to deal with the drama of a baby mama. Good luck and congratulations.”

“No. No. NO!” I was yelling at that point. I didn’t like the final tone in her voice. “Nadine, I said, no! Don’t do this!”

The phone clicked and she was gone.

What the fuck!!!!!

I tried to call back at least three times, my fingers jabbing the glass screen as if it had offended me and broke my heart.

No.

It was the woman I loved because she’d been hurt.  

Now she was gone.

“Fuck!” I roared. “FUUUUCCCKKK!”

Cocking the phone back, I let it sail across the room where it shattered into tiny pieces against the wall. My life came crashing down as I felt the crumble of my everything get sucked up into the black hole in space. I was at my fucking brother’s wedding and this shit happened.

“Mills,” I heard through the haze of my mind and knew it was Knox.

My eyes moved to him and before I could control anything out of my mouth, I mumbled, “She called it off and blocked my number. She wants nothing to do with me. Well, me, the baby or my drama of a baby mama.”

I used the words she had spoken. Mills stood there for a moment and then he closed the distance between us and pulled me into him. Shit, I must have looked like absolute shit because that is precisely how I felt, if Knox was giving me a hug. As a family, we didn’t do much of the physical affection, except for a punch here or there in the face.

My brooding, but older brother must have known exactly what I needed because I wrapped my arms around him tight and stayed there. I was lost, broken and alone again. But more lost without her.

Once I was able to gather my shit, I helped him get the drunk man out of the bathroom and into a cab. Then I took my ass back to the hotel that I knew Nadine was no longer staying. She wouldn’t answer me or any number I called from, but my only saving grace was that I’d see her on the plane.

I waited until they were about to close the doors of the plane before I boarded, only to find no Nadine. Troy leaned across the aisle and shook his head, silently asking if she was coming. I shook my head and he nodded.

He probably thought he was a lucky bastard to not have to worry about a woman. He had no fucking interest, at all. We used to tease him and say he belonged to the priesthood, but Troy was too much of a sinner for that. He was the quietest of us all now, but as a teenager, the boy was rambunctious. He was always into something was the most active. He was an avid gamer and his focus was on other things that didn’t include women. He was an accountant for the family, but ran his own technology company in town.

Our trip home was quiet, but my mind was running a mile a minute on ways to change Nadine’s mind. It couldn’t be over because I wasn’t sure what I’d do without her.

By the time we landed back in Libby, I immediately went to Nadine’s place. There was nothing there. Lights were off, things looked exceptionally clean, the porch was cleared of anything that she had and my heart sank a little deeper. I used the hidden key to get inside and fuck me.

Everything was gone. Everything that had something to do with her was a mere memory. There were no more classes, just finals and my plans were nearly complete.

It took everything in me not to tear up old man Munn’s house. I could have hurt something bad. My heart was pounding, chest constricted, and a cold sweat broke out because she was gone.

When I emerged from the house, I saw Troy standing against his truck looking up at me.

“The fuck are you doing here?” I snapped at the man who did nothing to me, but I was beyond furious.

“Figured you could use a drink,” he said just as calmly. “Been a long couple of days.”

Troy never hung out with us. He was always to himself or working.

“No, I got to find Nadine,” I told him as I stomped down the wooden stairs of the porch.

“She’s gone.” Troy informed me. “Stopped by Sarah’s Cuisine and Chris, the Uber driver, said he took her to the airport earlier.”

The airport?

I closed my eyes and took a step back grabbing the railing post at the bottom of the steps.

Fuck me.

“Let’s go and get that drink.” Troy put it out there again. “Then tomorrow, we can plan the next step.”

What the fuck was happening? Nadine left and Troy was offering to help with getting her back.

“Why do you care?” I was still snapping.

He understood my meaning because he nodded at me and said, “Guess it’s interesting that all three of my brothers have fallen in love and I’ve sat back and watched, I guess. I’ve been so involved with my work and in my head that I’ve been letting life pass me by. Especially with women. Fuck, maybe it was the fucking wedding. I don’t know, but I hate to see you like this. Knew you’d need help and a rational heart.” He shrugged and the only alternative I had was to go home and beat the shit out of my punching bag, stalk where Nadine might be, or get my ass locked up in some bar.

My best bet was to be with someone who’d get me out of dodge before the cops came. Instead of answering him, I walked over to the passenger seat of his truck and let myself in. We ended up at some bar out of town, which was great because I didn’t want to see no one I knew or knew Rebecca. I might have lost all of my shit. Troy must have had the same thought because without many words exchanged, we were far enough to be safe.

The two of us were in the back of the bar on a Sunday night with me downing drinks one by one and Troy nursing a half-empty glass of beer.

“Pops asked me to find out who Ida was seeing,” Troy suddenly said after we both said much of nothing for ten minutes.

After I processed what he said, I burst out laughing.

So did he and we chuckled for a good couple of minutes.

“He likes her,” I told him.

“Or just don’t like the fact that she ain’t around him kissing his ass.” He quipped.

“Meh,” I shrugged. “I saw the last fight and I think he really likes her and now that she ain’t paying him no mind, he doesn’t know what to do. Hence, why he asked you to find out his competition.”

Troy nodded and raised an eyebrow. “Makes sense.”

“So, what about you?” I asked. “You got someone in mind?”

“Naw,” he said with a quick shake of his head. “Nothing like that. Ain’t lifted my head up long enough to even look. Know what I mean. Shit, I don’t even know where to start.”

“Work, not that I recommend it, but most times there are women around you, waiting for you to get your shit together. Well, that is according to Nadine.” I told him as my heart panged at the thought of her absence.

Troy looked thoughtful about it and murmured, “At work? There aren’t really any women, like that, except...”

Then he quickly shook his head, like the thought bothered him.

I took a long pull from my glass so the man could figure out his next words without the weight of my attention. His brows were pushed together as if he were at war within himself.

“Except,” I repeated in an attempt for him to finish.

“It’s nothing.” He shrugged off like he didn’t want to tell even himself or me therefore I let it go.

The goal was to keep my mind off the break in my heart that didn’t line up with how I was downing beers like jugs of water, just to make it stop. To ensure that the pain went away. I was fucking hurting.

“What’s your plan, man?” Troy’s eyes narrowed as if he just noticed how I was trying to keep the conversation on him.

“It’s simple,” I answered with alcohol-induced confidence. “I’m going to wherever she’s at and getting her back. I’ve set all these things in place and if she thinks she’s leaving me, the woman has another think coming.”

A part of me felt like Pops. Fuck, when his wife did leave him, he shut all the way down. So far down that no woman was ever able to reach him. Shit, the fact that he even was showing interest in any remote way to Ida was a damn miracle.

“Just like that?” Troy replied as he took a small sip from his glass.

“Sure,” I replied. “J.D. did it and hell, I think even Knox and Nina are on for good now. They had the rockiest relationship of all. If they can do it, surely I can.”

Troy didn’t look convinced, but I knew my woman. She would fight me, but...

“Yeah, but none of them had an incoming baby and I don’t know Nina like that, but I know Tess enough. If J.D. would have had Sara knocked up, there’d be no way we’d have just left their wedding. I also doubt there would be any redemption for Knox if he and Lily actually had that baby. Women may be sweet and all of that, but raising another woman’s baby, meh. Brother, I don’t see that.”

Fuck.

Whatever numbness the alcohol was close to bringing began to fade away with that dose of reality. Troy was right. Being mad or trying to figure out where one was going to live was one thing, but actually having a whole kid with another woman, hell fucking no. Nadine got up and I presumed moved back home and basically didn’t say shit to me about it.

I took another long pull from my beer and slammed it down on the wooden table. I was screwed.