Nadine

When I arrived at the hospital, my mother and her husband, Lazarus, were already there. I quickly introduced Mills to them and moved on to find out the status of Grandma.

“It’s still critical right now, but we should know something by tomorrow.” Mom nodded toward me. “So, Mills? He’s a brother of the rich one?”

“Mom, really?” I snapped, yet too tired to worry about how I came off since she was downright rude.

“Yeah, you must be talking about J.D.,” Mills chimed in. “Yup, I’m Mills, the brother to the rich one.”

He was genuinely smiling, which meant so much as to his impatience of her rudeness. The woman was obsessed with marrying me off to the highest bidder or some rich guy so I wouldn’t want for anything. She really had no concept of the notion of working my way to the top, so I could provide for myself. It was a foreign idea to her, which was sad for the women’s movement on independence.

Lazarus looked at us both and said, “Take it, you might want a cup of coffee or something? Say Mills, wanna take a walk? I can show you where everything is located. Plus, it’ll give the womenfolk some time to catch up on everything.” He said that later part in a lower tone.

“Yeah, sounds good.” Mills looked at me and asked, “Want anything sweetheart?”

“Yes, the largest cup of coffee they have.” I answered.

Pulling me into himself, he kissed the top of my head and whispered, “I’ll be right back.”

“Okay.”

When they were gone, my mother looked at me from head to toe and asked, “You look well. Happy, at least? He’s doing that?”

That was another way of putting it, but I just smiled at her. The woman was like a hound with a scent.

“Well, good. If one is rich, at least–” She started but I cut her off.

“Mom, enough. Life is not about how much money one has. It’s about the character, personality and a lot of other things that don’t have to do with money.”

My patience was running short on the repeated conversation about finances. She leaned into my space and said, “Believe me, honey, it’s always about the money.”

“You and Lazarus together because of money?” I snapped back.

“That’s different,” her face fell into a more somber expression.

She never wanted to talk of that time in her life, but it still existed, even in her mind. No matter how much she had improved, it’s a constant reminder that she was that person and now she’s another. It’s sad to hold on to that, but it’s a part of who she is and it’s a part of how she and Lazarus were able to get together. He rescued her and we all knew it. She knew it but it was more of a fairy tale than a nightmare. By the look on her face, it looked like a Tales from the Crypt scene.

“That’s different,” she shook her head sharply. “Very different.”

“What’s new with you, Mom?” I asked, effectively changing the subject.

Her face morphed into a ball of joy.

“I’m knitting!” she exclaimed. “Almost finished with a scarf and it’s the most relaxing thing in the world. My stress levels have decreased but you know me, I still work overtime. But yes, I’m knitting!”

“That’s great news, Mom. I’m happy to hear it. Maybe you can make something for me.”

“Yeah, when you come back here and get out of Iowa.” She noted with a pointed look. “By the look on that man’s face, that might not happen.”

“Mom,” I gasped. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“It means, he’s smitten and not trying to let go. You too. Both of y’all on those clouds. Just hope it’s a soft landing, is all,” She added.

“Gee, thanks, Mom.” I said with a sarcastic tone. “So hopeful.”

“Yes, I think so.” She said with a straight face.

The woman was oblivious.

By the time the men came back with coffee and raised eyebrows, we were back to sitting until they kicked us out of the waiting room.

“You’re welcome to stay with us,” Lazarus told us.

“It’s fine, we’ll stay at Grandma’s.” I shared with them, then Mills and I caught an Uber there.

When we arrived, he asked, “How are you taking all of this?”

“Just trying to piece everything together.”

Which, I was because none of it made sense. My grandma had been the epitome of a rock and now she was this vulnerable person they wouldn’t even let me see. She was lying on the floor, according to mom and it shook me, more than I knew. I never would have thought this strong woman would get sick. It just didn’t make sense. She’s an older woman, but still. I felt lost.

That night, Mills held me throughout the night. A few times, I shed some tears and might have sniffled, but he held me tighter and didn’t say anything, which was what I needed; to be left alone but not alone. I didn’t want to be by myself and I was so glad he came with me.

The next day at the hospital, we were met with a rather enthusiastic nurse and doctor. Apparently, Grandma was up and complaining, which Dr. Nelson said was a good thing. We were in there to see her and despite her shrunken body, she was Grandma. Talking about the needles sticking in her arm and the constant beeping of the machines. Then she started going in about the food, the nurses, and how she was unhappy with everyone for making a fuss. Around five in the afternoon, she mellowed out because they gave her something to calm down and then she went to sleep.

For me, I was doing ten times better than I was the day before, now that she was up and at least talking. A stroke, mini or not, was just too much. She stayed in the hospital for a few more days until she was well enough to be released. Grandma was given over to the care of mom, which seemed to please her. Fortunately, nothing was lost during this mini-stroke but she still needed a careful eye on her. She, of course, was not trying to hear any of that. The woman was so headstrong. A few times, Mills leaned over to me and whispered, “I see where you get your stubbornness from.”

I simply rolled my eyes, but it was true. He and Lazarus spent a lot of time together, which was good, I guess. Mom kept her eyes on him, which was interesting too. Grandma, on the other hand, loved Mills with his strong Iowan accent, cowboy hat, plaid shirt, jeans and boots. She was a Harlequin reader and a sucker for cowboys. She said that was in her heyday. Therefore, Mills was a keeper.

Mills and I weren’t scheduled to leave for Libby until the next morning, so mom and Lazarus had invited us over for dinner. Little did I know, Mom was inviting only me over for dinner until Lazarus grabbed me at their door by looping his arm in mine and telling Mills to go in and make himself comfortable.

“Didn’t know she would do this,” he whispered. “Going to get with her about it but we got company. Apparently, I misspoke when I said your mother wanted y’all over for dinner. She just wanted you.”

“What?” I exclaimed.

The big man took a breath and then he answered at a slower pace.

“Your mother. She just wanted you over for dinner. Not your friend.” He repeated.

“Why?” I asked as confusion set in.

“’Cause, she invited Jabbar over too.” He told me as if I was the one not making sense.

My mind flashed to the last conversation I had with my ex and the fact that Mills was here with me and what that would look like. Once all of those realities started to crash down, I yelled, “She did what!”

This was when I started moving into action, just in time to hear, “You say she yours now?”

Holy shit.

Lazarus was right on my heels as we both walked into the dining room where Mills and Jabbar were standing toe-to-toe and mom was in the corner hunched over with the mess she had caused by minding my damn business.

“Heard right?” Mills nodded with a menacing look. “Not quick on the upkeep, huh?”

Oh shit. I wanted to intervene, but they were too close and fists looked like they were seconds from flying. The two men were evenly matched but Mills had a bit more muscle tone than Jabbar.

“Quick?” My ex laughed. “You’re the country bumpkin with your lazy accent, talking about quick. Nadine and I have years? What, you courting her on your buggy?”

“Nope, did much more than that on the buggy,” Mills said with a smirk.

“Hey,” I called but no one heard me because the first fist flew and connected with Mills’ jaw.

His head jerked to the side as Jabbar began to shake his wrist from the only punch he’d probably ever thrown in his life. 

Before I could react, Lazarus was in between the two men.

“Fuck up my shit and I’ll shoot both of your asses.” He snapped. “You can take that shit outside.”

I was shaking my head almost violently, when I yelled, “You most certainly will not!”

Mills marched to the door as if I said nothing.

“Meet you outside, city,” he barked back.

His big boots vibrated off the floor in the small home, and with force he snatched open the door. A flex of his bottom jaw showed that the punch did affect him, but he was ready for war.

“Mills,” I called as Lazarus made it to the door.

“Sweetheart, a minute,” Mills enunciated my nickname as he walked out of the door.

Jabbar pushed past me and went towards the exit as well. Lazarus stood with the door open and my mom remained against the wall with tears streaming down her face. She was getting overwhelmed because she had primarily caused this. Jabbar was old news. We broke up before I went to Libby and there was no need for him to be back in my life. We were cordial, but that was about it. Mom wanted him as a suitable mate because he was wealthy and could provide the cushion that she felt I needed. The truth was, I didn’t want a man for that, at all. I could have my own money and Mom and I had that argument so many times.

“Mills,” I screamed at him, which must have caught his attention.

“Nadine, what is it?” His alert eyes trained on me.

“Let’s go, now!” I closed my eyes and held my head. “I just want to leave. Thanks, Mom and Lazarus, but this was a horrible idea.”

I barely finished making my statement when a calmer Mills was by my side, pulling my head into his chest and kissing my forehead.

“Sorry,” he muttered. “Let’s go.”

“You’re leaving with him?” Jabbar sneered.

We moved towards the door and Mills couldn’t help but shout back, “Told you she was mine.”

I felt him lift his shoulders in a shrug and we left. I would call my mother later, but why she felt the need to do shit like this was beyond crazy. Despite my headache that began to recede, I was still mad at Mills. Thank God Grandma was already asleep when we arrived back to her place.

“Sweetheart, you’re not talking to me?” I curled up on the far end of the bed that I grew up in. “You never mentioned an ex.”

I refused to speak because it was all irrelevant at this point. An ex was an ex. Becca was just an annoying ex that decided to insert herself in my life. That was different.

“Nadine,” Mills said in a stern voice. He sighed and then apologized, “Sorry for causing shit at your parents. He was there and started grilling me like I was an outsider. I know you had a life before me, but having that shit in my face...well, I didn’t react well.”

He moved in behind me, so I could feel his hard chest and the other things that were alive on him.

“Fucking sorry,” he murmured before kissing my neck.

Swiftly, I turned around in the bed, causing him to move back.

“Mills, I get that you...that you were thrown off. But telling him in front of my mom and Lazarus that I’m yours. That’s just barbaric. I mean, are we in the stone ages?” I asked.

“That’s what you’re mad about?” he scoffed, like it was no big deal. “Baby, you are mine. Your mom is Lazarus’. Tess is J.D.’s. Nina should belong to Knox by now, but they play too fucking much.” He smiled. “Ask any of those men, including Lazarus. Their women are their women. No pussyfooting around about that.”

“In front of my mom?” I hissed.

“Shit, she wasn’t concerned about that. She was petrified that she invited your ex to get his ass kicked in her house.” He was smirking. “I guarantee that shit. Fucking got me with a cheap shot. That was a bitch move.”

“Oh, boy,” I sighed.

“I’m sorry. Okay? Can you fucking stop being mad at me and ride my face? Show me how upset you really are so I can calm you down.”

Heat pooled at my center and I felt the need hit me, solely from his words. Mills must have seen that I was in the throes of lust because that’s when he struck. The man flipped me over on my back and kissed me as if it were our last. As he made his way down to my breast, he whispered how sorry he was for earlier. Hell, I almost forgot what I was mad about by the time he wrapped his mouth around my areola. One bite and I was writhing under him. Then he turned us both over, tore off my panties and moved me so I hovered over his face.

Yeah, the man was hungry because I rocked and rocked until the never-ending orgasm had me falling to the side.

***

WE DID ONE MORE CHECK on my grandma before flying out and then Mills and I was back in Libby, attempting to get back into our routines. My semester was over half complete and I would then be a free woman. Well, all of my studies would be complete. This is what I wanted in life. Well, until Mills.

One evening, when he came over, I made us dinner. From my calculations and assistance from Pops; fried chicken, baked beans and corn were Mills’ favorite meal and that was what I cooked for him.

He rang the doorbell and then the man walked in since the door was unlocked and bellowed, “Fuck, it smells good in here.”

He was such a man.

“Thanks,” I yelled and smiled to myself from the kitchen.

It wasn’t until he sat at the table when he realized all that I’d cooked and gave me a raised eyebrow.

“All my favs,” he nodded in excitement. “Wait, what’s the occasion?”

All of a sudden, he went on alert and dropped the fork, causing the glass and silver to cling loudly.

“Nadine?” He called. “What’s going on?”

“Wait, wait,” I tried to tame the impeding bull as I pushed my open hands down in front of me.

I was sitting across the table from him, “Yes, Mills. This is a conversation, but we can eat too.”

“Not fucking eating. What’s going on?” He stressed but was now sitting on the edge of his seat while leaning forward.

“Nothing, Mills. It’s just that my semester is ending soon, that was all.” I tried to say in a placated voice that he picked right up on.

“So, you’re saying after this semester, you’re done? You’ll have your masters, right?” He was asking. “Where are we going to celebrate?”

“Yes, I’ll have my masters. Hmm, maybe we can go to Peaches over in the next town. They have the greatest calamari.” I almost forgot why I was telling him this information. “But I’m torn about my next steps. There is a fellowship that I was interested in with Grubber and Company. My advisor stated that I could think about a doctoral program, but I’m not sure about that. And yeah, there are a lot of things just swirling around in my head.”

I definitely left out the fact that Grubber and Company were affiliated with Jabbar’s family and he had extended the invitation through my mother. Mills would lose his whole shit. 

Shit, I didn’t have the guts to say what was really on my mind, which I should have just come out and asked him. Mills was responsive, but he, like the other Timms’ men, had a temper. Not the physically abusive kind, but the uncomfortable kind. His eyes leveled with mine and then he asked.

“What’s really bothering you? I sense it’s more than that.”

Shit.

I was a horrible liar. There was a need to lie at that moment with Mills. The comfortability of letting him know that I was not sure because of what he might have perceived about our relationship.

“Well...” I let it linger. “If I take the internship, that means I’m moving back to Maryland. The same if I do the doctoral program, since being here was just my externship. There’s–”

“Wait,” Mills held up his hand, cutting me off. “Moving?”

His voice was low and lethal. This is what I was trying to avoid because I did not want him blowing a damn gasket.

“Well, yeah.” I said in a small voice. “My school is in Eastern Shore, Maryland.”

His eyes snapped to mine before he countered, “I know where your school and Grubber are located, which are both in Maryland. Those are your only two options? Have you considered what could be offered here?”

The man was angry, which was evident by the curl in his brow and the way he enunciated each word, nearly drowning out his accent.

“Well, I don’t know of any opportunities here. I have looked, Mills, but I didn’t see anything.” I shared.

Pain crossed his features as he shook his head a few times. Then he stood up and the look on his face made my chest hurt instantly.

“Are you fixin’ to sit here and tell me there is nothing for you to do here? Not a gotdamn thing?” Raw anger was radiating from his body. “No opportunities whatsoever? Internships, externships, nothing?”

He walked away from the table and let out an enormous roar.

“Fuck!”

“Mills, wait. Where are you going?” I stood and followed him. “We are supposed to be talking about this.”

He strode towards the door and said, “No, Nadine. You don’t want to talk. You want to leave and you want my permission to do so. There are no opportunities for you here, so that is your license to be free. Right?”

What?

The man didn’t even have the nerve to look at me, he just said those parting words, left my place and didn’t even close the fucking door. I stood there nearly speechless.

What the hell just happened?

Did he just leave me?