Chapter Eleven
Grace
“I’m not going out.”
“Mr. Lowell, it isn’t good to be cooped up like this,” I said.
“I gave you dinner. I gave you a trip to the grocery store. What more do you want?”
“I want you to go out and see that people aren’t going to judge you the way you think they will.”
“Trust me, they will. They are. I was lucky no one saw me at that store.”
“Mr. Lowell-”
“No,” he said.
It was like pulling teeth from a tiger. I convinced him one time to go to the store with me and he practically disguised himself from head to toe. A baseball cap. Sunglasses. A massive jacket and a blanket over his lap. He drew more attention to himself that way than anything else. For the love of everything, all we needed was milk and some cookies for dessert that night!
“What if I told you I would pay?”
“Is that supposed to make this better? The beautiful nurse paying to go out with the gimp?”
“You really have an odd way of paying compliments, you know that?” I asked. “I’ll be with you the entire time. Come on. I know the trailer for this movie caught your eye on the television a few days ago. Let me take you to see it.”
“Why is this so important to you?” he asked. “Like I said, in one phone call I can have a copy of the movie sent over and we can watch it here. Why the movie theater?”
“Because you need to see that you can be comfortable in that chair out there in a world you think is going to judge you for it,” I said.
“They’re already judging me for it.”
“They haven't seen you in it, Hayden. They have no idea there’s anything supposedly to judge!”
I didn’t mean to say his name like that. I didn’t mean to sound so demanding and angry with him. But when his eyes connected with mine, I saw a flash of something dark. It should have scared me. It should have put me in my place. All it did, however, was make me press on.
“Let me take you to see this movie,” I said. “And if it goes downhill, then we can stay in this apartment of yours however long you’d like. For the rest of your recuperation, if you want.”
His eyes squinted, like he was sizing me up. They fluttered down my body and I felt like I was on display. I felt like that often with him. He had a way of penetrating through my outer layers and making me feel as if I was standing naked in front of him. Vulnerable. Destitute. Embarrassed.
“Please, Mr. Lowell.”
“Hayden,” he said.
“Hmm?”
“Call me ‘Hayden’ from now on.”
He turned and started wheeling himself down the hallway. I felt my heart sink to my toes as I watched him disappear. He rolled himself into his bedroom and I slumped onto the couch with my head in my hands. I had been so close. So close to taking another step with him that was absolutely imperative to his mental well-being. The consult for his hip surgery was in less than a week, and he was in no mental state of being opened up again on an operating table.
“Well?” Hayden asked.
“What is it?” I asked with a groan.
“You’re going to need your purse if you’re paying for a movie.”
I whipped my head up towards the hallway and saw him sitting there in his chair.
“You're going?” I asked.
“Seems like I don’t enjoy disappointing women,” he said with a grin.
I smiled at him before I jumped up off the couch.
Assisting someone in a wheelchair at the theater was harder than I figured it would be. The ramps were steeper than they should’ve been and I had to open both doors to get Hayden into the theater. I was glad I was the one paying for the movie, because Hayden’s face almost couldn’t see over the counter and into the ticket kiosk. We bypassed snacks simply so he wouldn’t have to sit in line only to be eye-level with another counter, and I couldn't blame him.
But none of that compared to the people that were staring at him.
I knew his family was known, but I didn’t know they were famous. People were staring at him and children were pointing. Some parents were gawking and others were scoffing. Hayden was jumpy. Nervous. His head was on a constant swivel, probably looking for cameras or something of the sort. But what didn’t make it any better was the fact that he looked drastically different than before. His hair was longer and his beard had fully grown out. His eyes were sunken in a bit and his body was now disproportionate to the rest of him. His legs were slowly losing muscle while his arms were slowly gaining it, and it made him look like somewhat of a cartoon character.
“Believe me now?” Hayden asked bitterly.
But I kept my mouth shut.
I wheeled him into the movie theater and pushed him into the level row where the handicapped signs were. I sat in the one lone chair after rolling him into the space, but his eyes weren’t focused on the screen. All around him, people were trying to turn their heads and see him. Get a glimpse of the billionaire in the wheelchair. And while the lawsuit against both the driver and the city weren’t helping his reputation at all, there was no reason for people to be acting this way.
So, I did the only thing I knew I could do to settle him down.
I held my hand out for him as the movie started up. The sound was loud and the chair underneath me was rumbling with the opening credits. I could feel Hayden’s eyes staring down into my palm, and I was hoping I wasn’t crossing a line. I wiggled my fingers playfully to signal what I was trying to do in case he was second-guessing himself, then I looked over at him and found his eyes staring back at me.
Holding my gaze.
Sizing me up again.
I felt the warmth of his hand slid into mine and he laced our fingers together. Not an action I expected, but I could feel how much his hand was trembling. My thumb stroked his skin as the beginning of the movie started up and I turned my attention to the screen in front of me.
But Hayden’s eyes were still locked onto my face.
Slowly but surely, the shaking in his hands died down. I squeezed him gently and went to remove my hand, but he clamped down onto it. He didn’t want to let it go. He didn’t want to disconnect.
And honestly?
I didn’t either.
We sat there for the entire movie and not another thought was given to the people around us. There were a couple of parts that even made Hayden laugh. I whipped my head over to him and watched his smile light up his beautiful blue eyes. I watched his cheeks pucker up and his entire demeanor change. That was what I was looking for. What I was gunning for. Smiles and laughter held the power of a thousand different medications all at once, and the broader he smiled the healthier he looked.
Pretty soon it was me the one staring. Trying to get another glimpse of that intoxicating smile.
The movie ended and I stood up from the chair. I wrapped around Hayden and began to push him out, trying to get ahead of the crowd. I was happy that getting out was exponentially easier than getting in, and a few minutes later I was loading us into his car. I folded up his wheelchair and stuck it in the backseat, then together the two of us sped out of the parking lot and hit the main road.
“Are you hungry?” I asked.
“Depends on what you’re offering,” Hayden said.
“I’ve got McDonalds, Taco Bell, Wendy’s, and Five Guys.”
“Given up on me already?”
I looked over at Hayden and saw a cheeky grin crossing his cheeks.
“Not at all. But you did what I asked. You went to see a movie, so I figured we could drive through somewhere, get some food, and go back home,” I said.
“You know, before you? I never would’ve considered being caught dead in the drive-thru of those places.”
“So is that a yes? Or are you saying I’m bad for your health.”
“You better not be bad for my health. I’m counting on you to help me live through this hellhole.”
“Oh, come on. It’s not that bad,” I said.
“Nope. It’s only as bad as walking across a bed of fiery coals.”
“Is your humor always this dark?” I asked with a giggle.
“If it makes you laugh, then yes,” he said.
I chanced a glance at him and I found his eyes staring at me. There was a small grin playing on his lips and it was hard to take my eyes off him. I settled for Wendy’s and pulled into the drive-thru, then Hayden did something I didn’t expect.
He leaned over my body to look at the menu.
He was pressed against me. Tightly. I could feel the chiseled features of his body as his hand rested between my legs to prop himself up. I felt my cheeks flushing furiously. I could feel his body heat radiating against my skin. His other hand settled on the chair behind my head, and I was eye-level with the sculpted muscles of his arm.
I resisted the urge to lean my cheek on it.
“For someone who wants me to eat well, this is a hell of a menu to offer,” Hayden said.
“Then order a salad,” I said breathlessly.
He slowly turned his head to meet my eyes and I could see a playfulness in them. Something I hadn’t ever seen before. A life in his eyes that made him even more beautiful than usual. I wanted to smile. To acknowledge that I saw it and that it was a good thing.
But I was too busy focused on his hand planted on the seat between my legs. Because if he moved it-- even a little bit-- we were in trouble.
“Welcome to Wendy’s, can I take your order?”
“Ah, yes,” Hayden said. “I would like two spicy Caesar salads, two medium French fries, and two small chocolate frosties.”
“Will that complete your order?”
“Is there anything else you want?” he asked.
I panned my gaze over to the menu as my palms began to sweat.
“Nope. Nope, I’m uh… I’m good,” I said.
“I’d like you to be great if we’re going to end this night with a game of Russian Roulette with my health,” Hayden said.
I just needed him to back away. To move and get out of my personal space. Because every time he talked, his lips moved. And every time his lips moved, I thought about all the places he could put them.
And that was wholly unprofessional.
“Then I’m great. Outstanding. Absolutely wonderful.”
“Yes,” Hayden said as his face grew closer to mine. “Yes you are, Grace.”
My eyes snapped over to him. My name. The sound of my name and how it dripped from his lips. I felt myself weakening to him. I felt myself leaning into him. My body was shifting and I felt my thighs grace the side of his arm. Our eyes were hovering. Holding one another in the damn drive-thru of a Wendy’s.
“That’ll be $17.42. Drive around, please.”
The voice from the box pierced the moment and Hayden settled back down into his seat. I cleared my throat and smoothed my hair from my face, then drove around to pay. I handed our food to him and he sat it all in his lap, and the rest of the ride back to his place was silent.
Which was fine with me.
Because my mind was screaming.