CHAPTER 14
Joanna
When the lunch hour arrived, I was nothing short of starving. I gladly shut my laptop and slid away from my desk, where I stood and stretched, desperately needing a break. My head was so thoroughly swimming with numbers that I still saw them when I closed my eyes.
At least until visions of Anderson began to fill my head.
I sighed, wishing so much that I could go see him. We were remaining cautious at work, not wanting to trigger the suspicions of Tobias, or anyone else for that matter. I had never been one to engage in workplace relationships, and doing so seemed to go against everything I stood for. But, I was helpless in controlling my attraction to Anderson. Besides, our relationship had technically started before we became co-workers, so on some level, I used that as justification. Plus, there were other issues to be concerned with when it came to Anderson that greatly overshadowed the fact that I now worked with him.
Even though it hadn’t been long since we first started entertaining each other, having to sneak around was already starting to wear on me. I had contemplated simply letting the cat out the bag more than a time or two, curious about how Tobias would react. After all, Anderson was his best friend. Wouldn’t he be happy for us? I wanted to believe he would, but at the end of the day, there was no way to be entirely sure. Furthermore, I got the feeling Anderson wasn’t ready to tell Tobias yet. So out of respect for him, I kept quiet. The timing simply wasn’t right.
“Hey Joanna.” Startled out of my thoughts, I looked up to see Libby heading my way. She smiled warmly. “I was wondering if you’d like to join me for lunch?”
I smiled and nodded. “Yeah, sure. I’m starving. And going out for lunch certainly sounds better than getting junk from the vending machines like I’ve been doing.”
“Come on then. I definitely know something better than a vending machine! There’s a nice little restaurant around the corner. It’s within walking distance. We should be able to eat and get back in no time.”
“Great. Sounds good to me,” I said, grabbing my purse and heading out of the office with her. As we made our way out of the building, I caught of glimpse of Anderson speaking with another co-worker, and tried my best not to stare, despite the way my heart leapt at seeing him.
It was a beautiful day outside. The sun was shining and the breeze was comfortable, making me grateful that Libby had come to save me from sitting in the gloomy break room and dining on M&Ms and potato chips.
Less than ten minutes later, we were at a table for two, sipping lemonade and eating our lunches.
“So,” Libby said, “how’s everything going with you today?”
I took a bite of my grilled chicken sandwich, which was a little colder than I would have liked it. “All right, I guess.”
Libby paused from munching on her salad and leaned forward toward me from across the table. “What about with Zander?” she asked in a lowered voice. “Has he tried to contact you again?”
I swallowed my bite of sandwich and shook my head. “No, thank goodness.”
“But you’re still worried,” Libby said with a frown. “I can tell something is still bothering you.”
I shrugged my shoulders. “Well, Zander can be really unpredictable at times, so there’s always reason to worry, at least a little bit. I still don’t think he can actually find me though, but—”
“But you still won’t call the police?”
“It’s not that serious,” I said, suddenly feeling somewhat defensive.
“Not that serious? The man beat you, called you at your new job, and threatened to come for you again. Joanna, honey, don’t make excuses for him.”
“I am not making excuses.”
“All right, all right,” Libby said, holding her hands up in a surrendering gesture.
I took a sip of water and swished it around my mouth for a second. “I’m sorry,” I said, knowing I hadn’t meant to yell at her. “It’s just…I don’t want to make things any more complicated than they already are. What would I tell the police anyway? That I’d gotten a phone call I didn’t like, but knew the perpetrator was too far away to be a serious threat? It would all just be a waste of time. Trust me, if I ever feel like I need to call someone, I will. But right now, it just isn’t necessary.”
Libby nodded. “Okay. Good. That’s all I want to hear. I don’t mean to seem like I’m prying too much into your personal life, but I’m just worried about you, that’s all. I’ve known women in your situation before, and I’ve seen things go terribly wrong far too many times. I don’t want that to happen to you.”
“Neither do I. And I won’t let it. After the last black eye he gave me, I learned my lesson.”
“Have you at least told your brother yet?”
I shook my head. “No. He wouldn’t take it too well, and I don’t want to worry him unnecessarily. Tobias can be a hot-head. And he’s been wanting to fight my battles ever since I was a kid. He needs to realize that I’m capable of taking care of myself. It’s bad enough that I have to temporarily stay with him, and needed him to offer me a job. If there ever comes a time when he needs to know more about Zander though, I’ll tell him. But he knows enough for now though.”
“Okay,” Libby said. “As long as you’re willing to act when you have to, that’s all that counts. That’s all I can ask for. Trust your instincts.” The two of us ate in silence for a moment before Libby spoke again. “How have things been going for you at the office? Do you like working there, or do you miss your old job?”
I considered her question and sighed. “I can’t lie—I do miss my old job a bit. But at the same time, I do sort of like working with you guys.”
“Just ‘sort of,’ huh?” Libby said with a laugh, dabbing the corners of her mouth with a napkin.
I laughed too. “I didn’t mean it like that,” I said. “I like working with you guys. It’s just been an adjustment, that’s all. Actually, I think the bigger adjustment has simply been getting used to Chicago again, after living in Miami for so long.”
A faraway gaze crossed Libby’s face. “Miami,” she said in a longing tone. “What I wouldn’t give to live there and not deal with Chicago winters!”
“Yeah, getting away from the wind and snow was nice,” I said. “But getting away from Zander became more important. I’ll take wind, snow, hail, and sleet over his fists and temper tantrums any day.”
“Well, that’s a given,” Libby said, snapping out of her reverie. “Enough about Zander for now though. Are you going to get yourself back out there?”
“Back out where?” I asked.
“Back out in the dating game,” Libby said, as if her question had been obvious. “You’re too young and pretty not to, Joanna.”
Warmth crept into my cheeks and I took another bite of my sandwich, deliberately chewing slowly to keep myself from having to answer right away. “Yeah, I guess… Eventually. If someone catches my eye. I’m not exactly looking or rushing to jump into anything right now though. I need some time to myself for a little while.”
“That’s perfectly understandable. But just don’t let Zander hold you back forever, all right? You’ve got to get back out there sooner or later,” said Libby. “I mean, have you been getting out? It’s going to be hard to meet people if all you’ve been doing is going back and forth from the office to your brother’s place. Even though we do have some pretty nice eye-candy in the office. And don’t worry, I don’t mean your brother. That’d be weird.”
I accidentally spilled some of my lemonade as I tried to take a sip.
Libby chuckled. “Oh, so you’ve noticed, have you?”
“Noticed what?”
“How drop dead gorgeous Anderson Lawrence is. Come on, you must think he’s attractive. You’d have to be blind not to!”
I cleared my throat. “Well, I’ve known him for a long time. Ever since I was a kid. He and my brother are best friends. They grew up together.”
“Bummer,” Libby said. “So he’s like a brother to you, huh? Maybe you don’t realize how hot he is then.”
I pressed my lips together, knowing that couldn’t be further from the truth. Fortunately, Libby was looking down at her salad, and I had time to recompose myself before she placed a forkful in her mouth and looked up at me again. “He’s seeing someone though, right?” she asked.
I felt a swoop go through my stomach, and was pretty sure some of the blood had drained from my face.
Anderson, seeing someone?
“What makes you say that?” I asked with bated breath. I gripped my glass although I didn’t want another sip.
Libby’s mouth twisted into a contemplative pout. “Seems like I remember hearing that he was seeing someone at some point. Or several someones, more accurately. That man has quite a reputation, from what I’ve heard. But that’s to be expected, right? He’s too good-looking for his own good. I’m sure he’s got women fawning at his feet everywhere he goes, worshipping the ground he walks on. And he’s a natural flirt. Was he always that way?”
I cleared my throat. “Um…Yeah, he was like that in high school.”
“That figures,” Libby said. “It’s just not fair. Some of us have to go through an awkward phase as teenagers, but Anderson, he was probably born beautiful.”
I took another bite of my sandwich although my mouth had gone quite dry and I’d lost my appetite. “So, you think he’s with someone right now?” I asked, trying to keep my voice level and ignoring the knots forming in my stomach. I hated how jealous I felt, knowing I had no real claim to Anderson. There was nothing official between us. We were merely sleeping together occasionally. He hadn’t made any serious commitment to me, and I hadn’t made one to him. I had no right to feel jealous about what was possibly going on between him and other women…
But I still hated it.
Sitting across from Libby and working myself into a silent fury, I was forced to acknowledge that I wished I had a claim to Anderson.
I wanted him, badly. All to myself…
“If I had to take a guess,” Libby said, “I’d say he was single and just playing around, if you catch my drift. But I don’t know… There’s just something about him. He seems like the kind of guy who wouldn’t ever really settle down and get serious with anyone. He reminds me of an uncle I had. The whole family knew Hell would have to freeze over before that man ever got married.”
I tried to force a laugh, but it sounded so disingenuous that I stopped instantly and took another sip of my lemonade, even though it had begun to taste like water.
While I enjoyed Libby’s company, I was suddenly ready for lunch to be over so that I could be alone with my thoughts.
My thoughts which were filled with Anderson.