CHAPTER 3
Joanna
It was funny how a week could feel so slow and long at the same time, but that was precisely how I felt after staying with my brother. Tobias was accommodating as usual, but there was still a lot of adjustment. First, the simple transition of moving back to Chicago after living in Miami was a lot to adapt to on its own. When I added in the fact that I’d left a good job and a beautiful apartment—sometimes it felt too much to bear. Yet I kept reminding myself that it was for the best; no job, apartment, or beautiful climate was worth me being unhappy, terrorized, and battered.
I hadn’t seen my brother in a while, but I should have known his taste was as extravagant as always, especially now that he had such abundant funds to back it up. After leaving the airport, I took an Uber to his place even though he had offered to have someone get me.
“Tobias, I’m grown. I don’t need you sending me chaperones,” I had told him.
“Your age has nothing to do with it. You’re just stubborn. Fine, suit yourself.”
“Is this where you’re going, miss?” the Uber driver asked as he pulled up in front of my brother’s mansion with its perfect lawn.
I looked down at the address Tobias had texted to my phone. “Yep.”
The driver let out a low and impressed whistle. “Wow. Must be nice being you,” he said.
I huffed. “Looks aren’t always what they seem,” I muttered, readjusting the sunglasses on my face and then letting myself out of the car. “Thanks for the ride.”
“No problem. Need any help with your luggage?”
“No, I got it. Thanks.”
By evening, I was sitting at the dining room table with my brother, in front of a meal that was way too extravagant for just the two of us. In his eagerness to give me a warm welcome, he’d had all my favorite foods catered in for dinner. I couldn’t deny that everything looked and smelled delicious, rotisserie chicken, baked macaroni and cheese, green beans, buttermilk biscuits, apple pie, and iced tea. Unfortunately, I didn’t have much of an appetite.
“Tobias, honestly, you shouldn’t have,” I said.
“Don’t tell me what I should or shouldn’t do in my own house,” he said. “If I want to treat my little sister to a nice dinner, then I’ll do it.”
“Whatever,” I said.
“Take off those sunglasses, Jo. You look ridiculous.”
I pressed my lips together and stared down into my plate. Although I knew I couldn’t walk around wearing sunglasses indefinitely, it made my stomach squirm to let him see what Zander had done to me.
“It looks worse than it feels,” I said, and then reluctantly removed them. I remained staring down at my plate for a long time. When I finally got the nerve to look at Tobias, he wore a deep frown.
“Are you going to tell me precisely what happened or not?” he asked. “How long has he been treating you like this, Joanna?”
I didn’t want to engage the conversation, but with the way Tobias stared at me from across the table, demanding an answer, I knew it couldn’t be avoided. Besides, considering the major favor he was doing for me in allowing me to stay with him for a while, he had the right to know.
I sighed. “He didn’t start out that way, I swear. He was perfect in the beginning. But maybe that was the problem all along. He was too perfect. I should have known something was off… The first time he hit me, it was because I hadn’t cooked dinner for him. It was stupid, but so was every other time we argued. Our arguments never had any real substance. He was just always nitpicking, and I was always making excuses for him. I just kept telling myself not to worry about it. That he was just stressed and it was no big deal. But the arguing kept getting more and more frequent. And we kept getting more and more agitated with each other and…”
“And he started hitting you more often,” Tobias said. His eyes trailed the bruises on my face, and I could practically feel the silent fury emanating from him. “You know you should have said something sooner, right?”
I lowered my gaze, staring at the tablecloth. “I know, but I thought I loved him. And I thought he loved me.”
“Love doesn’t leave bruises.”
“I know that now.”
Tobias sighed. “Does he know you came here?”
I shook my head. “I left while he was sleeping. He was drunk. He probably won’t know I’m gone for another few days.”
“Do you think he’s going to come looking for you?”
I swallowed. “I hope not. I mean, he shouldn’t know where to find me, so…”
The frown remaining on Tobias’s face clearly indicated that he didn’t find my words reassuring. “Listen, if he ever comes near you again—”
“Yeah, I know,” I said, cutting off his threat, I already knew how he would end it. He’d hire some big fancy lawyer and take every Zander owned. But that wasn’t what I wanted. I just needed it all to be behind me. For it to be over. “But I don’t need you fighting all my battles for me. I can take care of myself. That’s why I left him.”
“It took you too long to leave. You should have left after the first time, Joanna.”
I reached for a sip of tea. “I’m tired,” I said, feeling drained all of a sudden.
Tobias nodded. “I have plenty of rooms. Just pick whichever one you want.” He rose from the table and stretched. “Let me know if you need anything.”
“You’ve done more than enough already. Anything else I need, I plan to earn it.”
“When do you want to start working?” he asked.
“Can I have a week to get settled in first?”
“Of course. You can have all the time you need.”
“I just need a few days, and then I’ll be ready to do whatever you need me to do. I really am grateful for you letting me come work at your firm at such short notice and all.”
Tobias waved his hand dismissively. “Don’t mention it, sis,” he said before turning around and leaving me to familiarize myself with his mansion.
* * *
Two days later, I was already growing restless hanging around Tobias’ mansion.
“I thought you said you needed a week to adapt before starting work?” he asked me after I told him that I was ready to start training for my new job position.
“Yeah, well, there’s no need to prolong things,” I said. “The sooner I start working, the sooner I can be out of your hair.”
“Having you here is no problem, I keep telling you that.”
“Yeah, I know. But still, I’m ready.”
The next day, he began training me for the new job, and once we hit the one-week mark of my return to Chicago, I was ready to officially start working at his firm. Against my will, he had given me shopping money to renew my wardrobe, although I only accepted it after he promised to let me pay him back.
The morning of my first day, I woke early, showered, and carefully tied back my hair into a neat ponytail. I dressed in a new gray business suit I’d gotten, consisting of a simple white blouse, pencil skirt that hit me right at the knee, and a blazer. I then slid on a pair of modest heels and eyed my reflection in the mirror. An unusual feeling came over me, which I recognized to be a mixture of grief and excitement. Knowing that I was about to start a new job just made me miss the one I was leaving behind. With my abrupt departure from Miami, things clearly hadn’t ended on the best terms with that particular job. After my first day showing up to my brother’s, I’d had to painstakingly call my boss to explain why I had left so suddenly. To say it had been one of the most awkward conversations of my life was an understatement.
My stomach clenched in knots just thinking back on it.
I turned around when I heard a knock on the door of the guest bedroom I had claimed for myself. Tobias poked his head in. He wore a crisp suit and was carrying a briefcase. “Ready?” he asked.
I nodded. “Yep.”
“All right. Let’s go.”
When we arrived at the office, I was once again reminded of why I so thoroughly hated feeling like the new kid in town. It was just a solid reminder that I hadn’t entirely outgrown the self-consciousness I’d suffered in childhood; it was always there, ready to resurface. My self-consciousness was what had contributed to my need to be an over-achiever. Too often, it felt like the only way I could make myself feel worthy was by proving how adequately I could do my work.
“Are you all right?” Tobias asked, obviously noticing my distress.
“Yeah.”
He raised an eyebrow, clearly not believing me. “How about taking a quick break? I know this all must feel overwhelming.”
I nodded gratefully. “Yeah. That would be nice.”
And with that, I headed to the break area, where I began making myself and Tobias fresh cups of coffee.
Finding peace in the room being empty, I took a long and deep breath.
“Come on, Joanna,” I said to myself. “You’re just working for your brother. How hard can it be?”
Filling two cups from a fresh pot, I reflected on the training I’d had thus far, as well as the people I’d met, trying to recall names and faces even though so many of them blurred together.
I sighed in frustration as I added sugar and cream to the coffee.
Holding a cup in each hand, I took another deep breath and got ready to return to the office to let him know that I was ready to resume. But just as I reached the door, a figure unexpectedly appeared before me.
I crashed right into him, sending the hot liquid splashing all over both of us.
I looked up, positively mortified.
A man stood before me with a disgruntled look on his face as he stared down in disbelief at his expensive suit that I had just ruined with coffee.
When our eyes locked, my heart almost stopped entirely.
It had been a long time, but I easily remembered his handsome face, short blond hair, and impressive physique.
Just like I recalled the sneer he currently wore, and the way it had always been reserved specifically for me…
Anderson Lawrence.
I knew he worked with my brother and that I was bound to run into him sooner or later. If I was being perfectly honest with myself, I also knew that he was part of the reason I felt so nervous. Throughout my teenage years, I’d maintained a super-intense crush on him. There were times that my young self wanted him so badly that I didn’t know what to do.
What I hadn’t been prepared for was that over the years, he would manage to become even more handsome.
He was drop dead gorgeous; my memory hadn’t been doing him justice at all.
“Dammit, Joanna,” he said.
I recoiled.
Anderson was even more gorgeous than I remembered, but obviously, one thing hadn’t changed at all.
He still hated me.