Chapter Twenty-One
Grace
I laid in bed, my fingers tracing the outline of Hayden’s jaw. The sheet of my bed was barely covering our bodies, and I couldn't keep my hands off his heated skin. He kissed the tips of my fingers and locked those beautifully-stoic eyes onto mine, and I had this desperate need to feel closer to him.
I slid my arm around his waist and scooted closer, and he opened his legs to capture mine between them.
“I didn’t fire you to get you to go away,” Hayden said. “I fired you, so we could be together.”
“I think the last hour sort of solidified that for me,” I said with a grin.
“Though, in hindsight, I probably could’ve just talked with you.”
“Maybe try that tactic next time.”
“For what it’s worth, I’m sorry.”
“Don’t apologize. Not all of us can be as confident as I was in my wheelchair.”
“And they say women don’t have egos,” he said coyly.
“I can’t believe you’re standing on your own two feet.”
“I know. You’ve never seen me do it.”
“You’re so tall,” I said. “I thought you’d be a little shorter than that.”
“Why? Because my arms are so big?”
“No, because a man’s ego is usually in direct proportion to the size of a few attributes on his body.”
“Are you saying I have a small cock?”
“I’m saying you have an above average frame, in general, for a man with an ego your size,” I said.
“I’ll take that as a compliment.”
“Not sure I meant it as one.”
“Too bad.”
He rolled me over and showered my face in kisses. I giggled and squirmed, trying to get from underneath the tickling of his lips. I wrapped my arms around him and spread my legs, feeling him slide easily between them. His kisses became languid and his tongue started to dart out, and he nipped at my cheeks. Trailed down to my neck. Placed open-mouthed kisses against my breasts.
“So beautiful,” Hayden said. “So soft.”
He breathed a puff of cold air onto my nipple and I felt it stiffen at his command.
I giggled and looked down at him as his eyes shimmered back up into mine. I snuggled down into the covers and found his lips again, kissing him over and over. He tasted so sweet, but had an undertone of musk to him. A manly scent of wood and sweat that dripped from his pores. I felt my skin heating as my tongue massaged his, and I felt his cock stiffening against my thigh.
“Feels like someone wants to play,” Hayden said.
“Sure your body can handle that?” I asked.
“Oh, I’m hurt.”
Hayden clutched his heart playfully as he fell off to the side.
I rolled on top of him and kissed down his chest. I nipped at his nipples and heard him groan as his cock twitched against my stomach. I could feel his precum dripping from the tip as I kissed over his washboard abs. Dragging my tongue down the lines of his strength as his legs parted to accommodate my body. I sat my chin on top of his belly button and looked up at him, watching his face redden with mounting desire.
Then he peeked one eye open and looked down at my grinning face.
“Do I need to fill the car up with gas again?”
I giggled and shook my head as I planted a kiss against his skin. My hands slid up his thighs, but stopped when I got to his scar. I traced the thick tissue that had built up over the past few weeks, spanning from his hip all the way down to his knee. I reached my lips over and kissed it. All the way from his knee cap up to his side. I pressed his leg up and angled it, opening his thigh up to me before I nipped at his skin.
His cock was red with anger, leaking so much it was dripping down his shaft.
“I’m so happy you’re okay,” I said with a whisper.
“I take it the lady enjoys my battle scar.”
“Has your humor always been dark?”
“Knock knock,” Hayden said.
“Do I even want to know?”
“Depends. How much darkness can you handle?”
“Forget I asked,” I said as I rolled my eyes.
“Hey, not my fault you got curious. Maybe you shouldn’t be so inquisitive about things.”
“Like why you fired me?”
I watched his face grow somber and I shook my head. I pushed myself back up his body and smashed my lips against his. My eyes fluttered closed and his arms encompassed my back, pulling me closer into his body. I felt his heart drumming against my chest. I felt his heat spreading across my body. I felt goosebumps flee up my spine as my hands planted firmly into his chest. Curling into his strength. Tracing the lines of his sculpted form.
Our lips disconnected and I opened my eyes to find his.
“You can dish it, but you can’t take it, I see.”
“Your not being with me isn’t funny,” Hayden said.
“And your ‘battle scar’ isn’t either. If I recall correctly, that was our first major fight.”
“It was a stupid thing to fight about.”
“You were risking your life for a leg. I thought it was pretty stupid.”
“I gathered. But it paid off, didn’t it? I walked up to your door. Picked you up in my arms. Poured you into bed and fucked you speechless.”
“I’m not sure I’d put it that way.”
“You mean your jaw unhinged with nothing coming out wasn’t speechless?” he asked.
My cheeks blushed and I buried my face into the crook of his neck. He chuckled and the sound rumbled throughout my body. His fingers traced the line of my spine, up and down. Side to side. Filling my back with shivers as I ground down into his leg.
“Looks like I’m not the only one with another blissful round in me,” Hayden said.
“I can’t help that your touch is electric,” I said.
“Boogie woogie woogie?”
I playfully slapped his chest and a smile slid across his cheeks.
“Not a fan on the electric slide?”
“Not everything is a joke,” I said.
“But you’re having fun, right?”
“Actually, I want to say something.”
“You’ve been saying a lot of things. Though most of them in broken sentences.”
I rolled my eyes and fell off to the side as he turned and moved with me. My hair was spread across my pillow and his eyes were dancing around my face. My hand found his and I laced our fingers together, then brought the back of his hand to my lips. I kissed every single knuckle before nuzzling it against my cheek, taking in the soft strength of every part of his body.
“You’re filled with it, you know,” I said.
“Shit?”
“No, you idiot. Manliness.”
Our eyes connected and I watched his playful stare grow stoic again.
“You being in that chair didn’t make you any less of a man to me just like strolling into my apartment on two feet didn’t make you any more of a man, Hayden. It’s your countenance. Your confidence. Your demeanor and the way you make me feel. The give and take between us and the hot electricity that shoots between our bodies every time we connect. It’s the longing looks and the shivers your eyes give me and the swell of your chest before dipping into a strong set of abs. It’s the thunder in your voice and the ice behind your eyes and the intelligence that falls from your lips within the purest of conversations. Those are the things that make you a man to me, Hayden. Not your legs or your ability to walk.”
His hand released mine and came up to cup my cheek. His thumb stroked my skin, flushing it with his simple touch. I closed my eyes and allowed his warmth to trickle over me as his body scooted closer to mine. His leg slid between my thighs and I could feel my wetness pooling against his skin. Coating him in the shimmering juices his graceful touch was creating. I turned my face into his palm and kissed it, listening as he grunted at the pressure.
Then his thumb slid across my bottom lip and I drew the tip of it between my teeth.
“Such a naughty girl,” he said, his voice hot and heavy. “And to think I could’ve gotten you so wrong.”
“There is nothing more I want in a man than his ability to make me feel like his equal,” I said. “And whenever I’m around you, I feel like I could be.”
“Could be?” he asked.
I kissed the tip of his thumb before my eyes darted down to my hand. For a split second, that memory came washing back. The memory of how his hand stung so badly against my skin. And I saw recognition flash across his stare. A memory of that same moment that took the lust in his eyes and morphed it into a heavy sadness. His hand slid down my neck. Down my shoulder. Down my chest. He left a trail of goosebumps behind him as he wrapped his hand around my wrist. He pressed our palms together and I followed his motion, our hands rising at the same time until they were in front of our faces.
Then he laced our fingers together and drew my hand to his, kissing my wrist over. And over. And over.
Until no other sensation was left but the feeling of his lips and tears filling my eyes.
“I’m sorry,” Hayden said. “I should’ve never done that to you.”
“It’s not even that you smacked my hand away,” I said breathlessly. “It was the implied expression of worthlessness. I enjoyed being around you. I enjoyed helping you. I enjoyed taking care of you, Hayden. But in that moment-- for one brief, elongated second-- I hated everything about you.”
I watched him physically wince at the statement.
Like I’d struck him against his cheek.
I didn’t know what to say other than that. I’d wanted to say it for weeks, but I never thought I would get the chance. Out of all the fighting and the battles we weathered, that one I couldn't get over. That one I couldn't get out of my mind. I couldn’t explain away. It had been so raw and vulnerable for both of us, and instead of pulling me closer in his time of need he shoved me away.
“Are you going to do that when things get rough?” I asked. “Are you going to slap me away and command me to leave? Because a man doesn’t do that, Hayden. When a woman wants to help him-- wants to break down her walls for him-- he not only cheers it on, but he does it in return.”
I felt a tear trickle down my cheek as his eyes rose to meet mine. He released my hand and brought his knuckles to my skin, wiping at my its trail. He slid his thumb underneath my eye, catching any residue of my sadness while his gaze danced around my face.
Part of me felt like I was ruining the moment, but part of me knew this was necessary for me.
For us.
If there was going to be an ‘us’.
I wanted there to be, but not with this boulder between us. Not with this one massive thing we still needed to address.
“I’m not perfect,” Hayden said. “I have my faults. I’m a proud man, and that doesn’t change overnight. But I can make you a promise.”
“Don’t do that,” I said. “I don’t have a good track record with those. People in my life, they make promises they can’t keep and then get upset when I feel let down. Please don’t do that. Just… don’t-”
Hayden pressed his lips to mine, silencing my pleas. I melted into his embrace as his arms cloaked my back. He rolled over on top of me, my back pressed into my mattress. Our lips undulated together and our tongues caressed, fighting between dominance and fluidity as I tasted his unique flavor.
I shivered underneath him as his hands trickled down my sides, dancing in the curve of my waist before gripping the swell of my hips.
“Hayden,” I said as our lips released. “I-”
“I promise you, Grace Hunter, that I will do everything in my power every single day I can to meet you mark for mark. Every wall you break down, I will be there to help you clean up the wreckage. Every window we break, I will be there to help you replace it. Every trial we weather, I will slip my arm around you and hold you as close as the storm will allow me to get you. And if the wind rips between us too fast and pulls us away, I can promise you I will break down every barrier and tear apart every building to find you again. I can’t promise you we won’t fight, but I can promise you this. After every fight, and after every trial, I will always come find you. I will always run after you. I will never move forward until I’m sure you’re there.”
Tears rushed to my eyes as I rose my lips to his. Pressing them together, I spread my legs and allowed him to fall into my body. I wrapped my arms around his neck as my head fell off to the side, allowing him complete access to the whole of me.
I loved him.
I was in love with Hayden Lowell.
Every atom, every cell.
Every piece of scar tissue and every flaw. He was the most incredible man I had ever come across, and he wasn’t beyond admitting his faults. He didn’t promise me the world. But what he did promise me was his best.
And that was enough for me.
I moaned into his lips and he grinned into mine. I slid the backs of my toes up his thighs as his knees planted into the mattress. His throbbing cock was growing against my thigh and my pussy was heating up again. I could feel it dripping. I rose my hips to meet his, seeking whatever friction I could as his tongue slid across the roof of my mouth.
Then, something within me snapped, and I rolled us over and straddled his hips.