Chapter 7

He could have been a myth and Ran could believe he imagined the whole thing. But he saw the video of him and Icarus stumbling out of the lift at Brown’s and down the hall to his room. He was heavily drugged but anyone would assume they were drunk and snogging as they drifted from wall to wall and Ran hung onto Icarus. He avoided the cameras and the cap and popped collar made it impossible to make out any of Icarus’ face. They parted an hour later. Icarus snuck out of Ran’s room and down the service stairwell, away from the hotel’s security cameras. Ran was also left with an irritating twinge in his right shoulder for a week that created an irritating twitch in his cock, whenever he recalled how he got the twinge in his shoulder. But there was no trace of Icarus. He didn’t exist before he whispered in Ran’s ear and he vanished when he stepped through the door at the end of the hall in Brown’s.

Why?

It was driving Ran insane. Did someone pay Icarus so they could blackmail him? If so, it was a stupid plan because Ran would publish the pictures himself and his only regret would be any pain it caused Niall. But Niall left Gallahide and visited London or Edinburgh once or twice every three months and he despised the internet. Ran had his estate, personal business and financial accounts scoured and nothing was touched while he was “held captive”. Aside from a mighty hangover and a sore shoulder, Ran wasn’t harmed in any way but it didn’t feel like an elaborately kinky stunt or some sort of fetish for Icarus, in hindsight. It felt like he was in trouble or trying to show Ran something and he’d bet every pound he had that Icarus never intended for them to have sex.

“Get tae!” He cursed as he pushed the gate shut then drug his forearm across his brow. He didn’t need that in his head. But, dear Jesus, he couldn’t stop thinking about him and it was tearing Ran up because he thought about Icarus most when he was with Niall. None of the men Ran slept with came that close to resembling Niall. It was often a fleeting thing that depended on the right light or the amount of alcohol Ran consumed. One thing might have been just right but the rest was always off. He might have Niall’s hair or his build but his face would be the wrong shape or his voice would be too high. Icarus didn’t have a face or much of a voice but everything else was so utterly identical, Ran discreetly asked if Niall left Gallahide that weekend. As far as everyone knew, Niall never left the castle and spent the weekend in his conservatory or his room, hiding from Isla and Simon. They were particularly difficult and Isla pouted much more than usual. Most of the household hid from her. Because of her behavior while he was away, Ran forbid her from speaking to the staff outside of simple, legitimate requests until she proved she was capable of treating people with dignity and respect. He gave in and let Simon take Isla to Paris for a “spa weekend”. They were like the Hilton twins, their room charges were absurd and the closest Isla probably came to a facial was the mountain of coke she buried her nose in or when she let the hotel gym’s trainer or a bartender come on her face. But Gallahide needed a break so Ran set them loose on Paris because he didn’t particularly like the French.

Weeks of searching for Icarus proved fruitless and Ran was feeling anxious and restless. His body ached as he swiped his shirt off the fence and used it to mop his brow. He waved at the last jockey as he led his horse in for the night then hung his shirt over his shoulder as he headed for the castle. He stomped up the terrace steps then paused and looked toward the conservatory. Ran didn’t have to check on Niall but his feet carried him past the study windows and door and down the steps to the lower terrace. The foliage was too dense to see very far into the conservatory. Ran had the grand but ancient greenhouse restored and redesigned as a tropical garden for Niall’s butterflies. It wasn’t hard to find Niall once you were inside, unless he decided to hide. If he chose to, Niall could hide and survive in his conservatory like Tarzan for days.

Ran pushed open one of the doors and leaned in as he hesitated. He often found himself in search of Niall when he was between tasks, bored, frustrated or needed an opinion. Ran was all those things at the moment, somehow, but he couldn’t confide in Niall or find comfort the way he usually did. He couldn’t tell him about Icarus and just being near him was making everything worse. Unfortunately, he needed to be near Niall. It was like stepping outside, into the sunlight after days of rain and cold. Ran craved him and found nourishment and peace when he was with him. He reached behind him to shut the door and Icarus’ mask hovered over Ran’s face before their lips collided and his body tightened as his frustration swelled. He needed to be near Niall but Icarus intruded most when they were alone. It was hell, actually. Ran was becoming obsessed with Icarus because he was so like Niall and he couldn’t stop thinking about Icarus when he was with Niall. Which made him want Icarus which in turn made him want Niall, leading to Ran feeling like a pig because he felt guilty for using Icarus and wanting him while he was with Niall. Even though he only wanted Icarus because he was the Niall Ran could actually have. It would be a nightmare if he uncovered Icarus’ identity because even if he was single and Ran’s perfect man in every way, he could never let go of Niall.

“Leave it,” he decided as he turned to the door. His head and his heart were too much of a muddle and Niall would just make it worse.

“Were you looking for me?” Niall said as he hurried into the clearing and Ran silently called himself a fool for lingering. He should have gone inside to get ready, he didn’t need to look for more trouble.

“Thought I’d stop in for a moment and see how the emperors are doing,” he lied and Niall nodded as he pushed his hands down his thighs, drying them. Ran saw Icarus nervously wiping his hands on his trousers after he found the condoms and he flinched.

“Come and take a look!” Niall said as he waved over his shoulder and a hard knot of guilt twisted in Ran’s gut.

“Actually, I left my phone in the stable and I’m waiting for an important call,” he mumbled as his hand swatted behind him for the door.

“What’s wrong?” Niall asked as he followed and reached for Ran but he shook his head quickly as he backed out and tripped on the threshold.

“Nothing!” He laughed as he pointed at the conservatory. “I’m sorry I interrupted whatever you were doing. I’ll see you before dinner,” he promised then turned and jumped over the terrace steps and ran to find his sanity and hide from his conscience until he had to face Niall again.