The first half of the holiday break passed with numb awareness. Christmas had always been my favorite holiday, but this year I struggled to feel the joy. I was grateful to be alive and have this time with my family, but sorrow trailed me like a shadow. My sister’s excitement was the only thing I indulged in, wanting her Christmas to be even more magical.
“Reece?” I wiggled my finger, motioning her to follow me. She was dressed in her Christmas Eve present: holiday-themed pajamas. Mom got us all a set. I smiled when I saw Dad open his Heat Miser flannel bottoms. This year I got Rudolph, and Reece got holiday Tinker Bell.
“What?” She stepped off her stool at the sink.
“Come with me. I have a surprise.”
She bolted from the bathroom. “What? What is it, JayJay?”
“You’ll have to wait and see.” I turned to my room, I had wanted to do it in hers, but there was no way to keep her out the length of time I needed.
She came into my room, inspecting it for a present or obvious surprise. “Sit here.” I motioned to the pillows and lantern on the floor.
“What’s that?” She pointed.
“Sit.” I went over and turned off the lights. She stiffened, still afraid of the dark. “Do you trust me?” I sat down next to her.
“Yes.” She cuddled into my side. I laid back and she followed. Then I flicked the lantern. The ceiling burst with white Christmas bulbs and dangling snowflake lights.
“Ohhh,” she cried.
I hit another remote and another light began to swirl around the ceiling, making it look like it was snowing. Lights glinted and sparkled. It was beautiful.
“It’s so pretty,” she whispered. “It’s magical.”
“It is.” I snuggled closer into her. “I love you, squirt.”
“I love you… to the moon and back,” she whispered, leaning her head on my shoulder.
“I love you to infinity and beyond.”
She tried to fight her sleepiness but soon succumbed. Her chest rose in even, peaceful beats.
“Reece?” Mom called from down the hall. “It’s past your bedtime. If you want Santa Cla—” Mom stopped, sounding like she was by Reece’s bedroom. “Reece, where did you go, baby?”
Soon after, my door opened, and Mom stepped in. I put a finger to my lips. Mom folded her arms, leaning her hip against the door, a warm smile covering her face. It only took her a few beats before she lay on the ground on the other side of Reece.
“So this is what you were doing all day,” Mom whispered. “It’s beautiful, Jayme.” We stared up, watching the lights dance around.
“What’s going on?” Dad came to my doorway then looked up. “Wow. This is incredible, JayJay.”
Things had been chilly between my parents and me since the tattoo incident. We hadn’t fought about it again, but they got snippy every time they saw it.
He walked in and lowered himself next to me. The four of us lay there, Reece’s soft breathing fluttering against my cheek.
Dad broke the silence. “You know there isn’t anything we wouldn’t do for you and your sister. It’s hard to let go; we want to keep you safe.”
“Yeah, I know.”
Mom reached over Reece and grabbed my hand. “We love you so much, Jayme.”
“I love you guys too.”
Dad grabbed my other hand. I looked down at the hand my dad was holding, the inked bird dancing across my forearm. It was like I could see another feather peeling away, flying free.
A smile grew on my mouth.
I squeezed both their hands. “Merry Christmas.”
“Merry Christmas,” they replied in unison.
The rest of the vacation elapsed in a fog of holiday gatherings and hanging out with my family. Even when my parents lifted my grounding, I stayed close to home. Stevie and I saw each other a few times. I needed her to keep me sane. She was supposed to be ending her treatment after the holidays, but her mother talked the doctors into another month. I think it was a way of keeping Stevie home. I was grateful since I didn’t want her to leave.
Therapy, both physical and mental, closed for a week, so I only went twice during the vacation. And after the new year, one of my Monday sessions was temporarily moved to Tuesday, Hunter’s day, but he never showed up.
Not that I was watching the door or anything.
“Hello? Need a little help here.” Stevie groaned and tapped my leg with her heels. I whipped around, heat pinking my cheeks, hoping she wouldn’t notice my attention on every person who entered or moved near the entrance.
“Sorry.” I pushed her leg toward the ground. Today was lower abs and back strengthening exercises.
“Hoping for Tall, Dark, and Sexy to walk in?”
“No,” I responded. Too quickly.
“Uh-huh. Sure.” A knowing smile crept over her face. “Hey, I don’t blame you. The boy’s ass is definitely in my top favorites. I miss staring at it too.”
“All I hear is talking,” Justin called over.
Stevie rolled her eyes and kicked her legs up for me to thrust down. We did it a few more times before she let them flop on the mat, wiping the tiny bit of sweat off her forehead. “Whooo…think I’ve had enough for today. Your turn, Whiskey.”
“Wow. Five whole leg lifts.”
“Look who’s getting sassy.” Stevie’s eyebrow rose as she brushed her blonde hair off her face. Today it was dyed black underneath. She rolled to her feet, tightening her ponytail. “I am training you well, young apprentice. I approve of this new attitude.”
“You’re the only one.” I sat down on the mat, dreading this exercise. My injury extended into my lower back and my muscles along my spine always ached.
“Aww. Are school and the parents still struggling with the new-and-improved Jayme?”
“Struggling is a good way of putting it.” I lay back, kicking up my legs. I could already notice the strain in my back. “My parents have decided to ignore the tattoo. If they don’t acknowledge it, it’s not there. Mom keeps trying to urge me back into my cheerleading or trying out for volleyball, anything to get me involved again.”
“They’ll come around.” She lazily pushed at my legs, but it was enough for my jaw to clench down. Straining. “It’s an adjustment period for all of you.”
“Their secret hope is if they keep me away from Hunter, I will simply forget and move on. Like he’s a shiny, new toy.”
“He would be fun to play with.” She winked, shoving my legs down faster this time. I grunted. “Actually, both of you would be.”
I rolled my eyes. “They have turned insanely protective lately. Like if they let me out the door, I will run to Hunter and turn to a life of crime. Mom calls me every five minutes. If I walk in the door a minute after what I said, she freaks out.”
Stevie snorted. “My mom basically threatened the doctor so he would say I needed another month in physical therapy to keep me at home with her.”
“I know they mean well, but I feel smothered.”
“What it sounds like to me is you need another night out.” Stevie propped her elbows on the souls of my feet, staring down at me, her eyebrows wiggling.
I groaned.
“It’s not a party this time.” She held up three fingers in a Girl Scout pledge. “I promise.”
“Were you even in the Girl Scouts?”
“Uh, for an hour. Then I was kicked out.”
I lifted my eyebrows.
“Long story, but you’re getting off the point. You are coming with me next Friday.”
“If my parents let me.”
“They can’t say no because you’re with me. Not Hunter. They want you to be social again. Well, it’s what we will do. I know of the perfect event.”
“They want me socializing under their terms.” I folded my legs, placing them back on the ground.
“They don’t need to know what we’re doing.” She curled down next to me on the mat.
“What are we doing?”
A mischievous smile grew over her face. “You’ll see.”
“Stevie!” Justin’s voice soared over to us. “Get over here. Squat and weights time.” He stood with his hands on his hips, his huge chest and legs making him look like a linebacker, ready to plow us down instead of train our fragile bodies.
Stevie’s mouth twisted in a frown, but she clambered back to her feet, heading for Justin.
“Oh, and dress warm,” she said over her shoulder.
“Dress warm? You don’t like the outdoors. What are we doing?”
“Jaymerson, I see the mouth moving but not the legs.” Justin wiggled his fingers like scissors. “Give me another five sets of ten and then grab the band and do ten more.”
Stevie smiled and winked. I knew whatever she had planned might entail me ending up in jail again.
And I couldn’t wait.