I pulled my jeep into the driveway, my parents’ car absent, Grandma Penny’s at the curb. I got out, locking my door. Walking up the drive, the sound of a car rumbled behind me. Twisting, I glanced over my shoulder. Hunter’s truck screeched to a stop behind my car.

Thump. Thump. My heart threw itself against my ribs.

He climbed from the truck. His bike was thrown hastily in the back, not even tied down.

“What the fuck, Jaymerson!” He stomped up the path, storming over to me. “What the hell happened to you? You take off without telling me?”

Indignation ran frenzied up my spine and out my mouth. “I can do whatever I want without having to ask your permission.” I shot at him. “We are not together. We’re not even friends.”

“What?” His lids narrowed.

“Go home, Hunter.”

“What is going on?” Fury blazed in his eyes. “Did Jones say something to you?”

“No.”

“Then tell me what changed from an hour ago?”

“Nothing changed. That’s our problem, Hunter. We need to stay away from each other, so we can grow and heal.”

“Jesus, Jayme. You sound like the therapists.”

“Well, maybe we should listen to them. All of them. No one thinks this is healthy.” I motioned between us.

“What do you think?” Hunter’s voice went deep, almost like a challenge.

“They’re probably right. We obviously can’t see it.”

“No,” he growled. “What do you think?”

I picked up my chin. “Seeing you kiss that girl was exactly what I needed to open my eyes.” His clenched his teeth, not responding. I turned back for the front door.

“Jayme, wait.” He lunged, grabbing my wrist.

I glanced down at his hand, pulling from his grasp. “No. I’m done.”

“I’m sorry.”

“There is nothing to be sorry for.”

“Dammit, Jaymerson,” Hunter growled.

“What?” I yelled.

He rubbed his face, which was still streaked with dirt.

“Goodbye, Hunter.” I sighed and reached for the door handle.

“Do you know why I kissed her?” he shouted. I stopped. “Because I didn’t kiss you.”

“What?” I whirled around. “What the hell does that mean? Makes no sense.”

“The first time we could chalk it up to our mutual sorrow getting the best of us. You wanted me to be Colton.” His words came out angry and sharp. “Even last night, after being in his room, you were searching to not feel lonely anymore. For a moment the pain stops. But tonight…in front of everyone. This time would have been us…”

It was not Colton I wanted the night in the physical therapy room or him I was thinking about when I crawled into Hunter’s bed. It had been Hunter. Completely.

“I kissed her because I knew, for once, you weren’t thinking of Colton. You saw me. Finally.”

“So…you kissed another girl?”

“Yes,” he bellowed. In the distance I could hear dogs barking in response to our commotion. The whole neighborhood probably heard us. I was glad my parents were gone. Grandma Penny was too hard of hearing to wake up. “Because with her it was simple. Easy. You, shit…there is nothing simple or easy about us.” He tipped his head back. “And when you learn the truth…”

“What truth?”

He glanced away, his dimple twitching. His muteness continued, the crickets, yapping dogs, and distant car noises emphasized our silence.

I grabbed the door handle. It clicked in my hand.

Hunter let out a frustrated growl and uncertainly said, “It was me.”

I stopped, more out of confusion than anything. “What?” I turned to look at him. “Is this supposed to be some great confession?”

“No.” He shrugged. “Yes.”

“Which is it?” His silence twisted frustration deep in my heart. This time I knew when I walked through the door it would be for good. I turned to the door.

He limped forward. “Stop.”

“Then talk.”

Another noise came his throat. “You know the night at the lake? Your anniversary. The ‘moment’ you said when you knew you loved Colton?”

“Yes.”

He took another step; the tips of his shoes brushed mine. “It was me.”

“What?” I stepped back. “What are you talking about?”

“I was with you the night at the lake. Not Colton.”

“No. No.” My head wiggled back and forth in protest, a sinking ship plummeting in my stomach. “Why are you saying this?”

“Because it’s true.”

“Shut. Up.” The words hurled out of my mouth. “How can you say these things? Your brother’s dead. Are you that much of an asshole? So jealous of him you have to taint my memories of him?”

Hunter’s hand reached for my arm.

“Don’t touch me.” I slapped his hand, but he dodged my flaying hands and clutched both of my biceps. “Let me go!”

“I am not lying to you.” He strained against my struggles trying to keep me in place. “I loved him. More than anything. He was my brother. But he was not what everyone thought.”

“Shut up!” Tears pricked under my lids, filling my eyes.

“Listen to me.” He shook me. “Do you want to know why it was me instead of him?” Hunter leaned in closer to my face. “Do you want to know what your perfect boyfriend was doing that night?”

“No,” I seethed, pulling against his hold.

“Colton liked you. A lot. You were perfect to have as a girlfriend, on his arm at school and games, but you were naïve and innocent. Perfect to date, but behind your back? He loved the attention of other girls far too much. And he got a lot of it. He wasn’t faithful to you. You know that, right? He cheated on you all the time.”

“Stop it! Stop lying to me!” My voice rang in my ears, echoing down the block.

“I shouldn’t have done it. I know it was wrong. I’m sorry, Jaymerson.”

I slapped his face. “Screw you.”

“You tried, remember?”

I shoved him, his balance faltering a little before he grabbed my hands, holding them away from striking him again.

“I stopped it. I’ve done a lot of messed-up things, but I would never have crossed that line.”

“Aren’t you my hero?” Hot tears pricked at my eyes.

“Far from.”

“And what about the night on the floor of physical therapy? When you were pulling down my underwear. You weren’t such a good guy then.”

A nerve twitched along his jaw, his expression filling with fury. “Don’t you dare act like you didn’t want it to happen. That’s bullshit. I was not taking advantage or deceiving you.” He ground down on his jaw. “It was the most completely honest you’ve ever been with yourself. You just couldn’t admit it to yourself.”

“You twisted asshole. Do you get off on this? Telling lies?” I ripped my hand from his, shoving my palms against his chest. Anger fired every muscle in my body. No…this can’t be true. Betrayal, humiliation, and rage thundered through me.

“You can pretend you don’t know the truth, but you do, Jaymerson.” He pulled me into him, lining our bodies. “You always have. Don’t tell me deep down you didn’t sense the difference that night. You knew it wasn’t Colton touching you.” Hunter’s fingers clasped the sides of my face, his breath trailing over my lips as he leaned in. His voice going low and grave. “Kissing you. Making you go crazy.”

My body was betraying me, desiring his closeness. But fury and pain overrode everything. “No.” I jerked away, stepping from his grasp. “It was Colton. Of course you look alike, but even I’m not that stupid.” Yet I heard the doubt in my voice. I remember how different he was that night. How I felt he truly saw through me, deep in my soul. The undeniable chemistry, I had never experienced before then, suddenly flared between us. Our connection was stronger than it ever had been before or after. Like the magnet had finally flipped.

“Come on, Jayme.” He tossed out his arms. “I dressed in his clothes, drove his car, shaved and cut my hair. It was easy since it was summer. I made sure we barely ever saw each other during the three months, and it grew back by school.”

“You made sure?” I snarled. “So your sick, perverse plan could never be found out?”

“No.” He shook his head. “Because I couldn’t handle seeing you.”

Confusion, hurt, and fury boiled through my veins, burning. I turned for the door.

“Jay—”

“Stay away from me.” I held up my hand, walking backward. “Don’t ever come near me again.” I ran inside, slamming the door behind me.

I needed to barricade myself away from what I knew deep down to be true.

I had fallen in love that night. Only not with Colton.

 

 

Sleep did not come. My brain could not stop revolving back to the evening by the lake, looking for clues I missed, telling me definitely one way or the other. Then it would remember tiny things like Colton wearing a long-sleeved shirt in June and as soon I went to take it off, he stopped me. Was it because Hunter didn’t want me to see the distinctive tattoos on his body? I tried to think of another reason. Maybe it was a coincidence.

No. This can’t be true. But I knew Hunter wouldn’t lie about something like this. It was beyond twisted. And I could easily ask him a question only the person there would know.

I kept trying to find the holes I had missed with Colton. How many times had he received a call from a girl and pinned it on Hunter? How many times did he leave me after a date and go sleep with another girl? Did he sleep with Savannah? Was it why she always pined over him?

I flopped angrily to my side, my bed more like a torture device. My body was too restless to get comfortable. I threw off my covers and sat up, my feet brushing the rug. The bed creaked as I stood and walked over to my dresser and opened the drawer. The frameless picture of Colton and I lay inside. After clearing off my chest of clutter the other night, nothing breakable had survived and now it lay bare of ornamentation.

My finger skated lightly over Colton’s face. He was becoming a stranger to me. Did we know each other at all? Colton wasn’t big on “serious” talk. He never asked me about my dreams or fears. It was always pretty superficial stuff, except the night by the lake. I couldn’t deny it was strange it was the only night Colton had suddenly turned quiet and introspective.

All the things I told him about my secret hopes of getting out of this town and traveling the world. He had said he wanted the same thing. I had found it odd because Colton never talked about wanting to venture past a football stadium.

“What else makes you happy, Jaymerson Holloway?”

“What makes me happy...? Um…wow…that’s sad, isn’t it?”

“Cheerleading? School?”

“Yeah, of course cheerleading. I can’t say school does, but I like getting good grades. Makes my parents happy. I guess friends, family, a great boyfriend. The usual. I’m a simple girl.”

“I think you’re wrong there. You are anything but simple, and I think none of those things actually makes you happy. You say it because it’s what you’re supposed to say.”

How could I have been so stupid? So blind? Could I really not have been able to tell the difference between them?

“Don’t confuse me for my brother, Jaymerson. I am not the nice twin.”

“Believe me, Hunter, I could never confuse you two.”

“Really?”

“Definitely.”

My hand curled around the photo, and I had to force myself not to crumble it into a ball. I shoved it back in the drawer and slammed it shut. Reaching over, I plucked my mobile off the desk, typing frantically. I didn’t care if it was three thirty in the morning.

Answer me this. What did you ask me at the lake? And what did I say I secretly wanted to do?

Unless he was actually there, he couldn’t know this. I placed my phone down, figuring I probably wouldn’t hear anything till a more reasonable hour, but my phone buzzed instantly. He wasn’t sleeping either.

My fingers timidly picked it back up, nerves in my shoulders coiling like snakes. I pressed the button to open the message from Hunter.

I asked you what makes you happy.

Another text came in.

You want to study art abroad. Travel the world. And I said I did too. I may have pretended to be Colton, but everything I said was true.

A cry lodged in my throat, and I dropped my phone like it stung me, sitting back on my bed. My gut knew the truth as my heart held the last bit of hope, grasping for the rope before it fell. I scooted back into my headboard, letting the facts cascade down on me. I waited to flip out or become so ragingly mad the hulk would be frightened, but nothing happened.

Deep down, I had sensed it the whole time; the connection with Hunter was unlike any other. An instant spark that ignited my blood. I hadn’t wanted to see something had ultimately been lacking between Colton and me.

My cell hummed again. Meet me. Tomorrow night. No time or place, but I wasn’t going to ask. Besides, I never wanted to see him again.