“AND WHAT HAS you strolling in here this morning looking like you woke up with a million dollars in your bank account?”
Shrugging off my coat, I plopped down on the stool, still grinning at the message Cassi had sent. We’d been texting constantly since our phone conversation nearly a week ago, and with every message came the sweet memory of her sexy lips and how they parted on a surprised but satisfied gasp as I kissed her. Although kissing was putting it lightly. Devoured seemed to be the far more accurate term. Nothing about our kiss had been slow, but instead, hungry and possessive, and merely thinking about it burned the blood in my veins.
They said all it took was one taste to form an addiction, and I already felt like an addict in need of his next fix.
“Today’s a good day to be alive, that’s all.”
“Is that so?” Topping off my mug, Addy flashed me a questioning smirk, and my grin widened.
“Absolutely.”
“This wouldn’t have anything to do with—oh, I don’t know—a five-foot-five, brown-eyed brunette, would it?”
Meeting her curious gaze, I set my phone down and lifted my mug to my lips, taking a small sip. “Maybe.”
“Ha!” Addy snapped her fingers in the air, as if she’d known the entire time and hadn’t just figured it out. “I knew it. You two have been getting awfully cozy lately.”
I gave her a playful roll of my eyes and leaned forward, resting my arms on the wooden bar top. “I think we’re finally making it official. I’m taking her out on a date tonight.”
“Official, huh?” She rested her hip against the counter, taking a momentary break from the usual Saturday morning hustle.
I nodded, unable to elaborate. Giving us a title, when I wasn’t even sure what that title was quite yet, seemed fallacious. Cassi and I hadn’t discussed anything of the sort. Sure, we had made it clear we both wanted to move forward, but we didn’t get into the details of what “moving forward” entailed.
Tonight’s date was simply the first step. The first step of what I’d hoped would be many.
“Good for you, sweetheart. It’s about time you stop putting that life of yours on hold.”
“Yeah. I suppose it is, but if I’m being honest, I’m nervous.”
“Nervous? Why are you nervous?”
I lifted my shoulder in a shrug, trying to figure out how to make sense of everything I was feeling. “I like her, and I don’t want to screw it up.”
Addy patted my hand in a motherly, reassuring way. “I wouldn’t worry too much. You seem to be doing okay so far. You managed to snag a date, and that, dear, is usually the most challenging part.”
Man, if she even knew the half of it.
Our entire relationship had challenge stamped all over it in bright, bold letters, but I supposed it added to the appeal. You always want what you can’t have, and everything about Cassi came across as unattainable, but that wasn’t the only reason why I wanted her.
Hell, that wasn’t even a fraction of the reason why I wanted her.
Besides the innate need to be near her, she brought my boring world to life. She gave meaning where logic confused—hope where reality discouraged. She reminded me life was precious—too precious to sit in a coffee shop, watching as it slowly passed me by.
When I was with Cassi, endless possibility hovered right beneath my fingertips, and all I needed to do was reach out and grab it.
“I don’t think I ever told you, but she’s her.” I brought my gaze to Addy’s, waiting to witness her reaction. For some reason, her approval meant more than my father’s. “The woman I met at the banquet dinner several weeks ago. She’s her.”
Realization danced across Addy’s expression, slight shock and amazement altering her features as my confession registered. It was clear she didn’t need any further explanation, but I chose to clarify anyway.
“The guy whose heart I received—she was his girlfriend.”
The tips of her fingers came up to rest on her parted lips. “Oh my.”
Oh my? Well, shit. That wasn’t the reaction I was hoping for. Scratching the back of my head, I tried to ignore the sudden nausea swirling in my gut. “Geez, Add, I could really use something a little more than an “oh my” right now.” When she replied like that, it somehow seemed like an unforgivable sin, like it legitimized my father’s argument and I had no right involving myself with her.
“I’m sorry, sweetheart. I didn’t mean it in a negative way. It’s just … are you at all prepared for what you might be getting yourself in to?”
“Not in the least.”
And I wasn’t.
This was all new to me. The only real relationship I’d been involved in was with Vanessa, and looking back now, I wasn’t quite sure we qualified as anything other than two people seeking sexual relief. We had our moments, sure, but that’s all they were: moments. Nothing life changing or altering. At the time, I had kept an impenetrable wall stacked around myself, making it difficult for anyone to get in, but Cassi had slowly started to dismantle said wall, and every second I spent with her, I felt another brick fall.
“Is it irrational to have this fear I might never add up?”
Untying the apron around her waist, Addy called out to the other barista, asking her to hold down the fort for a little while, and then rounded the counter, pulling out a stool and settling in beside me. “Have you ever heard the saying comparison is the thief of joy?”
I nodded. I’d heard it. A time or two.
“It’s true, you know, and you’d be wise to remember that. You’re not him, Sam, and the worst thing you could ever do is compare yourself. If Cassi likes you, it’s because she’s found something in you that nobody else has, and while it might be hard to believe, I promise you, it has nothing to do with that heart in your chest.”
“But what if it does? What if this heart is the only reason she’s here?”
“Then call it what it is.”
“And what is that?”
“Fate.”
I grimaced at the four-letter word. Fate was an illusion the naïve believed to be true, but Addy wasn’t naïve, not at all.
Sensing the war going on inside of my head, she took my hand in hers. “Be patient with her, Sam. I have no doubt a part of her is still hurting, and I can personally relate to everything she’s feeling. When I lost my husband, my entire world crumbled beneath my feet. It took a while before I found new solid ground. I’m sure this lady friend of yours is in the midst of trying to do the same. Help her. Remind her it’s okay to remember the past but give her a reason to look forward to the future.”
The future. I could do that. I only hoped Cassi wanted me to be a part of it.
“Thanks, Addy. I don’t know that I say it enough, but I want you to know I truly appreciate our talks.”
“You’re more than welcome, dear.” She gave my hand a reassuring squeeze before sliding off her stool. “I best be getting back to work. These orders won’t be serving themselves.”
I sat until I drained my mug dry and then rose to my feet, tossed a few dollars on the counter, and pulled on my jacket.
As I made my way toward the coffee shop door, Addy hollered, “Sam, dear!”
“Yeah?”
“Don’t forget the flowers.”
“BLUE OR RED?” I held the two shirts up in front of my chest, catching Mason’s uninterested gaze in the mirror.
He lay sprawled out on my mattress, tossing a basketball in the air above his head. “How about you stop being a chick and just choose one.”
“A chick?” I scowled. “I am not being a chick.”
“Dude.” He lifted a brow. “Hate to be the one to smack you with a reality check, but yeah, you are. Only chicks stand in front of their mirrors debating what to wear.” Tossing the ball in the air a final time, he sat upright and dropped it into the cradle of his lap, resting his elbows on it for support. “You’re not going to start trying on your entire wardrobe, are you? Because if so, I’m definitely out of here. I don’t get paid enough to sit through that kind of torture.”
“You know what?” I held his gaze for a moment before returning the blue shirt to the closet and pulling the red one off the hanger. “Go home. You’re fired.”
Clearly not threatened or intimidated by my dismissal, Mason made no attempt to move. “You can’t fire me. You need me.”
“Glad you think so.” A humorous laugh escaped. Cocky little shit was something else.
“You do,” he challenged. “You’re at my mercy. Who else is going to watch Rex for you tonight while you’re on your date?”
Damn. He had a point. A very valid point. “Fine. You’re not fired, but you are banned from talking until I walk out the door, got it?”
“Yeah, yeah.” He flipped on his back again, placing the ball on the tip of his finger and spinning it around and around. “I didn’t want to help you play dress up anyway.”
Shaking my head, I continued to bite my tongue, nearly drawing blood in an effort to remain the adult in this situation. Sometimes being the positive role model sucked, but associating with him was my choice, and most days, it wasn’t a decision I regretted. Wisecracks aside, he was a good kid, even if he enjoyed getting a rise out of me.
“Are you going to have sex with her?”
“Am I going to”—I paused, nearly choking on the unfinished words—“I’m sorry, what?”
“Sex,” he repeated, looking at me with a blasé expression. “Are you going to have sex with her?”
“How the hell do you even know what that is? You’re ten.”
“Yeah.” Mason rolled his eyes. “I’m ten. Not stupid.”
I stared at him, dumbfounded, because really, what the hell was I supposed to say to that? The kid was too smart, knew way more than he should, and yet, I couldn’t fault him for any of it. He was already two steps ahead of most of the population as far as his intelligence was concerned. “I’m afraid to ask where you’ve learned it from.”
“School,” he offered freely. “We learned all about the penis and the vagina in health class this week and how you’re supposed to wrap the penis before sticking it in the va—”
“All right, all right.” My hands shot in the air, as if the movement alone had the power to put an end to his rather comedic explanation. “You can stop. I don’t need a play by play. I know how it works.”
“So then, why did you ask?”
“I didn’t.”
“Sex is a completely natural thing, ya know? You don’t have to be embarrassed to talk about it.”
“Embarrassed?” Wrinkles formed between my narrowed brows as I reared my head back. “I’m not embarrassed. I’d just rather not have this conversation with someone who doesn’t even have hair on his nut sack yet. Grow a few pubes and then maybe we’ll talk.”
“Actually, I—”
“Don’t you dare finish that sentence.”
Mason grinned, and as I approached my dresser to get my wallet, I made a mental checklist for the evening. It had been entirely too long since I’d been on a date, and I wanted everything to go as smoothly as possible. Reservations were set. Cash was pulled. Gas tank was filled. Why did it feel like I was missing something?
“Shit. I’ve got to go.”
“I thought you didn’t have to leave for another thirty minutes.”
“Yeah. That was before I realized I forgot to pick up the flowers.” Hurrying out of my bedroom, I headed straight for the entryway closet to grab my coat. Mason joined me a moment later, and as I shrugged it on, adjusting the collar and cuffs and patting my rear pocket to confirm I had my wallet, I turned in his direction. “Do me a favor. Tomorrow morning, if you don’t see my truck in the driveway, swing by and let Rex out?”
“So, you are going to have sex with her.”
Ignoring him, I grabbed my keys from their dedicated hook on the wall and opened the door. “I’m leaving. Make sure you lock up.”
“I will. You just make sure you wrap it before you tap it. My services don’t include babysitting humans.”
His voice carried all the way from the door to my truck, his words earning a silent chuckle from me as I reversed out of the driveaway.