I DIDN’T CARE what anybody said. There was nothing quite as nerve wracking as meeting your date’s family for the first time. Perhaps I might have felt differently had I not been crazy about the woman or wasn’t serious about our undefined relationship. But I was, on all accounts and in every sense of the word, and I didn’t want to screw this up. First impressions were everything, and rarely did they come served with a side of “do over.”
To top off the overwhelming bout of anxiety, an uncomfortable feeling of guilt lay heavy in my stomach at choosing to spend the day here rather than in the company of my father. Nearly three weeks had passed since our last encounter, and the anger that had swum through my veins at the way he had spoken to Cassi remained. We had our differences and hardly ever saw eye to eye, but she didn’t deserve to be on the receiving end of his animosity. Still, it was Thanksgiving, and while my father and I spent many years wondering what we possibly had to be thankful for, given all that we’d lost, we always spent it together. Always.
Guess there truly was a first time for everything.
He’s fine, Sam. He’ll be fine. Some time apart might actually be a good thing.
Trying not to allow the guilt to eat me alive, I glanced down at my dress shirt, making sure the buttons on my collar were fastened. Confirming they were in place and doing their job at hiding that godforsaken scar, I drew in a quick breath and started up the stone path to Cassi’s sister’s house, an old brick colonial that screamed luxury and wealth.
Two large bay windows sat on either side of the massive, black oak door, turkey window clings stuck to their surface. I smiled, a distant memory of my mother and I decorating the house in a similar fashion during the holidays coming to mind as I climbed the steps to the rounded front porch. I rang the bell and waited. My gaze drifted over to the expansive driveway where Cassi’s car already sat parked. We had agreed to meet here, her prior offer to assist her sister in preparing dinner meaning she’d arrived early that morning. I’d initially offered to help, more so because I missed her and was anxious to see her, but she kindly rejected, insisting they moved faster with less people in the kitchen.
“Sam!” Cassi’s excited squeal pulled my attention away from her car, and with pep in her step, she sprung forward, throwing her arms around my neck. “You’re here!”
“I’m here,” I said, chuckling as I pulled back, careful to not drop the bouquet of orange and yellow flowers clutched in my hand.
“You brought flowers.”
“I did. For your sister, actually. This, however”—I cupped her neck, dragging her to me—“is for you.” My lips came down on hers, eager and possessive, and the moment our mouths connected, we both inhaled in unison. It’d been too long. Four days since I’d seen her, and it felt like forever. Breaking away, my breath leaving me as if it hadn’t done so in years, I rested my forehead on hers. “Goddamn, I’ve missed you.”
Cassi smiled against my lips, her hands fisting my leather coat as she brought my body closer. “And I’ve missed you,” she said, recapturing my mouth, our tongues meeting in a slow, sensual slide.
Faint footsteps grew louder, filling the quiet foyer. A thin woman with a headful of blonde hair appeared in our periphery, but rather than putting an end to our kiss, Cassi simply freed the bouquet of flowers from my hand and passed them to her. “Sam brought these for you.”
“For me?” She sounded surprised and possibly even a little pleased. “How sweet of you.”
Cassi stepped aside then, allowing me an opportunity to talk. “It’s the least I can do. I appreciate the invitation.”
“It’s our pleasure. I’m just glad I finally get to meet you. Cassi has told us so much about you.”
I glanced at Cassi, smirking. “Only good things, I hope.”
“Only the best,” Cassi added as Jenny waved us inside.
“Come on in. I’ll introduce you to my husband and our three spawns.”
As we walked through the house, the lightness in the air slowly chipped away at the brick of anxiety lying in my stomach. Everything about her sister’s place was warm and inviting, from the festive fall decor to the blend of savory aromas drifting from the kitchen. Stilled memories lined the walls, and childish laughter rang in the air, and it dawned on me—this wasn’t merely a house; this was a home. This was everything I had craved growing up. Before my mother had passed away, our home had been filled with much the same, but after her death, the holidays had become mostly cold and lifeless. Another day on the calendar. There was nothing that set the days and weeks apart, and I realized now, if not then, how much I’d wanted that normality in my life.
How much I still wanted it.
Three wild and out-of-control children blew past us in a tumbled blur, two boys with dirty blond hair leading the pack and a young girl, who couldn’t be a day older than five, following hot on their heels.
“Give it back, Dylan! I’m going to tell Mommy!”
“And those would be the three spawns,” Jenny mused with a subtle laugh and shake of her head. A profound and motherly love glimmered in her eyes as she stood watching them trample through the living room, teasing and antagonizing each other like siblings were known to do.
“Connor and Dylan are both nine and twins,” Cassi said, proceeding to educate me on her niece and nephews. “And Aubrey is four, but don’t let her innocence fool you; that little girl is wickedly smart.” As the words left Cassi’s lips, Aubrey rounded the couch and dove to the floor, her arm shooting out to grab ahold of Dylan’s ankle as he scrambled to make a fumbling pass. His hands broke his fall, the stuffed animal he had been taunting her with soaring through the air. Big blue eyes followed its trajectory, and the little girl they belonged to made a mad dash for it, scooping it up into her arms and hugging it tightly to her chest as she stuck her tongue out at her older brother.
“See?” Cass laughed. “Told you.”
The next hour came and went, a comfortable easiness floating between the adults as if we’d been friends for a lifetime. Jenny introduced me to her husband, Ryan, and we talked for a while, chatting about nothing of real importance: his work, what I did for a living, and sports. Not once was my transplant mentioned, by anyone, and for that, I was thankful. I didn’t want to think of my past or what had brought me here, because the chances of knowing these people otherwise were slim to none.
As I continued my conversation with Ryan, I couldn’t help but steal glances of Cassi. She seemed like such a different person now compared to when I met her, and perhaps it was because she was surrounded by family, but even her eyes appeared brighter and the smile on her face wider. And seeing the way she interacted with her niece and nephews brought on an entirely different feeling in my chest. I could only describe it as longing, the desire to one day have a home filled with the same love and laughter, and the longer I sat there, the easier it became to admit that I wanted it with her.
I wanted it with Cassi.
Sometime later, when we were in the middle of a game of Trivial Pursuit, the doorbell rang. I hadn’t given two thoughts about who it might be, but when Cassi and Jenny returned with our newest guest, and my eyes collided with those of my father, my entire body flushed with heat and confusion.
What was he doing here?
Spotting me at the far end of the table, he lifted his chin in greeting. “Sam.”
“Excuse me.” I stood from my seat and brushed past the three of them, not acknowledging my father’s presence as I made my way toward the front door. I needed a minute, or possibly thirty. Not bothering to grab my coat, I slipped outside, the cool air refreshing against my suddenly hot skin. I tugged at the collar of my shirt, feeling as though I was seconds away from suffocating.
Jesus. Perhaps I was allergic to the man.
As I stood there, the door swung open, and I stiffened, hoping like hell it wasn’t my father walking through it.
“Sam?”
My muscles relaxed. “What is he doing here, Cass?”
She walked up behind me, the familiar sweetness of her perfume filling my nose as her heat pressed warmly against my back. She wrapped her arms around my waist, resting her cheek between my shoulders. “I invited him.”
She invited him.
I huffed out a breath and shook my head, grimacing.
Of course, she did.
Even after the way he’d treated her, she still found it in her heart to extend the man an ounce of kindness. That was Cassi, though. Her heart was too good, too pure, and I didn’t want it tainted by his hatred.
“And you didn’t think to mention this to me?” Hurt she hadn’t thought to include me in her decision, I twisted in her hold. “You didn’t stop to think how I’d feel about it?”
“Sam, I …” She paused, her lips thinning as her slender neck worked on a swallow of shame. “I’m sorry. He showed up at my work on Monday wanting to apologize for his behavior. He seemed sincere, and after it was all said and done, I invited him to join us. I thought it would be nice for us all to be together, and if I hadn’t, he'd be spending the holiday alone. Nobody should have to do that.”
Biting down on my tongue, I attempted to get a rein on my emotions. I couldn’t be upset with her. Her intentions came from a good place, even if she failed to see the entire picture.
“Hey.” She took my face in her hands, remorse heavy in her eyes. “I’m sorry. I should have told you.”
I sighed, defeated. The last thing I wanted was an argument. Not with her. “My father is a walking form of destruction, Cass. The only person he cares about is himself, and I’ll be damned if I allow him to screw this up, screw us up.”
“That’s not going to happen. Nothing he says or does is going to come between us. I promise.”
I wanted to believe her, but experience told me otherwise.
“Come on. Let’s get back inside. Dinner’s almost done.”
We returned to the kitchen, and I tried like hell to leave the bitterness between my father and me at the door. This was not the time nor the place. Few words were exchanged between us as we ate dinner, and if Jenny or Ryan picked up on the strained tension, they didn’t mention it. In fact, my father became someone I hardly recognized, engaging in conversation and smiling at the children as they rambled about nonsensical things. He helped clean the table, assisted in washing the dishes, and even expressed his gratitude for his offered invitation.
Many times, I wanted to tell him to cut his shit and drop the act, because the only people he was fooling were the ones kind enough to share their home and holiday with us. It was an insult to their generosity. I managed to bite my tongue the rest of the evening, however, doing my best to avoid my father altogether.
Cassi was in the middle of seeing him out the door when Jenny approached me.
“Sam, do you have a minute? I’d like to speak to you before you go.”
“Um, yeah.” I glanced over my shoulder at Cassi, as she followed my father outside, and then turned to Jenny, who walked into the dining room.
“I’ll keep this short, because I know you’re getting ready to leave, but I wanted to thank you.”
“Thank me?” A confused laugh left my chest as I shoved my hands in my pockets. “I think I should be the one thanking you again for allowing my father and I to join you—”
“No. That’s not what I meant.” She leaned back, peering into the entryway before returning her attention to me. “I want to thank you for having patience with Cassi. I can’t imagine the circumstances that brought you two together makes your relationship easy, but she’s changed for the better since she’s met you. She’s happy, and it’s because of you. I just wanted you to know that.”
My mouth fell open, but I didn’t have a chance to say anything because Cassi appeared a moment later. “Everything okay?”
“Yeah.” I nodded, walking over to her and pulling her into my arms. “Was just thanking your sister again for putting up with our crazy for the evening.”
“We enjoy crazy around here. And you and your father are welcome anytime, Sam. We loved having you.” Smiling, Jenny folded her arms over her chest and started toward the hallway. “I’ll leave you two to your goodbyes.”
The second Jenny disappeared, I crushed my lips to Cassi’s, kissing her for every second we’d been apart, not just tonight, but for the last few weeks. Her work kept her busy, and I was eager for the holidays to pass so we could get back to spending more time together.
“I miss you.”
“I’m right here,” she whimpered, melding into me as my hand slipped under her blouse to rest on the hot skin of her stomach. My fingers grazed the waistband of her skirt, desperate to dip beneath.
“God. The things I want to do to you.”
“You really like kissing Aunt Cassi, don’t you?”
Cassi and I froze.
Embarrassment made a slow crawl up my neck as I pulled back, glancing down at Cassi’s niece who stood beside us in motionless observance.
Cassi dropped her head into my shoulder, hiding her humiliation, and I chuckled at the awkward situation we suddenly found ourselves in.
“Yeah. Yeah, I do,” I admitted, slowly and discreetly removing my hand from Cassi’s shirt, smoothing it along the length of her back as she buried herself into my chest.
“Does that mean you’re going to be my new uncle?”
“Aubrey!” Cassi chastised, her eyes round and cheeks red as she lifted her chin to catch my gaze. “I’m sorry,” she mouthed, taken aback by her niece’s clear lack of filter.
Laughing, I kneeled in front of the little girl, whose blonde curls hung in pigtails around her heart-shaped face. Big blue eyes held mine, happy and hopeful, and I almost felt compelled to tell her everything she wanted to hear, even if it didn’t live up to reality. “I’ll tell you what. I’m going to be whatever your Aunt Cassi wants or needs me to be. How’s that sound?”
Long lashes blinked as she contemplated and then nodded. “Okay.” I was waiting for her to turn and hurry off, my legs ready to straighten themselves when she unexpectedly flung her arms around my neck and whispered in my ear. “Thank you for fixing my Aunt Cassi.” She pressed a small butterfly kiss to my cheek and then she was gone, walking away with her teddy bear hugged to her chest.
Dazed, I remained on my knees for a few beats before slowly pushing to a stand.
“Well, well”—Cassi caught hold of my collar, guiding me closer—“aren’t you quite the charmer. I think my niece might be falling for you, Mr. Copeland.”
My hands found her waist. “What are you doing Saturday?”
She tapped her finger along her chin. “I don’t know. There’s this really hot guy I’ve been seeing, and I was thinking about asking him if he’d wanted to spend the day together.”
I grinned. “Funny. I’m actually seeing this incredibly beautiful woman and was thinking about asking her the same.”
“Is that right?”
“Yeah.”
Pushing up on her toes, she kissed my lips. “Looks like you have yourself a date, Mr. Copeland.”
“As do you, Ms. Porter.”
Cassi flashed me another smile, this time with a hint of lust, and I could have stood there kissing her all night, but it was getting late. “I should get home.”
“Yeah. I need to finish helping Jenny. Call me later?”
“Absolutely.”
Giving her one final kiss goodbye, I made my way out the front door and jogged down the porch steps, stopping as I reached the bottom. My father stood in the driveway, leaning against his car as if he were waiting for me to join him.
I kept walking.
Heavy footsteps trailed behind me, thudding on the sidewalk. “Look, you have every right to be upset, but at least give me a chance—”
“Upset?” I laughed, not a trace of humor accompanying the sound. “You think this is me being upset?” My feet halted, but I didn’t look at him. “No, Dad. This is me pissed, and if you gave two shits about me, you’d know that.”
Retrieving my keys from my pocket, I continued toward my truck and unlocked the doors, my blood thrumming hot with unreleased anger. We needed to talk, but I refused to do this here on Cassi’s sister’s front lawn.
“For Christ’s sake, Samuel! If you’d get your head out of your ass for one minute—”
Get my head out of my ass?
I whipped around, pointing my finger in his face but keeping my voice low. “Let’s get something straight, shall we? Cassi invited you here tonight, not me, and while I appreciate you pulling yourself together for once in your miserable goddamn life and saving me from unnecessary embarrassment, it doesn’t make everything magically right. You and I—we’re nothing more than two people forced to breathe the same air. It’d serve you good to remember that.”
He stood speechless as I slid in behind my steering wheel, trying not to feel sorry for the words I’d spoken.
Feeling sorry didn’t change anything.
And it certainly didn’t knock down the wall he’d spent the last nineteen years building.