THE SOFT BEAM of morning light filtering through the set of patio doors in Cassi’s living room pulled me from my sleep. I blinked awake, my mind a groggy, convoluted collage of everything that had happened. Last night, after Cassi and I’d taken another step I never imagined we would, she hadn’t asked me to leave. In fact, once her tears dried, she kissed me with a thousand unspoken apologies lingering on the surface of her lips, curled herself deep into my side, and fell asleep in my arms.
It was terrifying yet exhilarating—exactly how I imagined falling in love should be.
Unfortunately for me, sleep hadn’t come as easily. My entire body was on edge: physically, emotionally, sexually. I still sported an erection that put all former erections to shame, but hell if I could do anything about it. Having her naked and pressed against me made it difficult to succumb to anything but the feel of her. Soft skin. Warm breath. Silken hair. The gentle stroke of her fingertips as they drew lazy circles on my biceps, and the steady rise and fall of her chest as it synchronized with mine.
I’d grabbed the throw blanket she kept draped on the back of the couch, tossed it over us, and closed my eyes, but to no avail—my mind refused to switch off.
The darkness didn’t help matters.
With my vision stripped, every other sense stood on high alert, and now that I knew how incredible she tasted and how beautiful she looked at the height of orgasm, I couldn’t stop thinking about all the ways I wanted to take her … all of her.
Take her.
I scoffed at myself.
As if I’d actually be taking anything. Truth was, this woman had taken me—first by surprise then by my heart. And when I put it like that, it sounded utterly ridiculous, but I couldn’t begin to decipher it all. Emotions were messy and confusing and hardly made sense, especially when we tried to dissect and analyze them. They were nothing more than chemical makeup, a mere product of life—meant to be felt not understood.
Lying there for a few more minutes, I rolled onto my side and nuzzled my face into the crook of her neck, losing myself in the scent of her skin.
She was intoxicating, so fucking intoxicating.
One taste and I needed more.
I closed my eyes as my blood rushed south and pulsed hot in my groin. This wasn’t good. I needed to peel myself away from her and leave within the hour. I had places to be and things to do, but having her body perfectly flush with mine, her beautiful ass snug against my aching cock, was like walking a fine line between pain and pleasure.
And Cassi was the sweetest kind of torture.
Unconsciously, she shifted in her sleep. It was the slightest of movements—the press of her hips, the nudging against my erection—but then she did it again. More obvious. More aware.
“Sam …”
Fuck. Me.
Arousal slammed into me hard at the way my name fell from her lips, breathy and lust filled. My heart thrummed beneath my ribs, and for the first time since being with her, it felt as though it were only the two of us.
No past, no guilt, no regret.
No Adam.
It was her and me and this moment.
Pulling her closer and needing her in more ways than I’d ever admit, I kissed her neck. I licked down the gentle slope and across the hollow of her throat, feeling her life source as it beat wildly against my tongue.
Mine.
The word echoed in my head as a fierce wave of possessiveness crashed over me. A primal need to claim her quickly followed, and I made it my immediate mission to lay my mark, to caress every beautiful inch, so she’d remember exactly how it felt to have my mouth there—kissing her, tasting her, worshiping her.
I groaned at the deliciousness of her skin, the soft curves of her body that molded perfectly beneath my roaming hands. I felt weak—weak with wanting, weak with desperation, weak with the feeling that I’d never fully get my fill.
Cassi pressed back, rubbing her ass against my dick, and I clenched down on my jaw, fighting the temptation to flip her over, to spread her legs and sink myself so deep I’d have trouble getting out.
The thought crossed my mind.
Once. Twice. Three goddamn times.
How could it not when she was lying there naked—beautifully fucking naked—and I was excruciatingly hard? An ice-cold shower wouldn’t be able suppress the ache, the need.
She rubbed me again, and this time, I hissed through my teeth.
Little tease.
Gripping her hip to prevent her from repeating the agony, I growled into her ear. “Stop. Please stop. Blue balls are a real and an extremely painful thing, and unless you’re going to allow me to flip you over and fuck away the ache, I’m begging you to stop.”
At my words, Cassi froze.
She lay stock-still for several long beats before sheepishly turning around, her face red with embarrassment. Big brown eyes blinked at me, only half awake but filled with entirely too much lust for my foggy brain to process that early in the morning.
Deep lines creased my forehead as wonderment settled into my brow. Had she been sleeping the entire time?
“Morning.” Her voice was scratchy, barely a whisper.
Great.
She had been asleep, and there I was, groping her and willingly allowing her to dry hump me in her unconscious state.
Nice going, asshole.
Cassi licked her lips, the wetness left behind on their surface glistening under the rays of the morning sun, and I cupped her cheeks, pulling her toward me. I kissed her. A chaste kiss I hoped reassured her I had no expectations after last night. Wants? Sure. What man didn’t? Expectations? No. We didn’t need to rush things, no matter how many shades of blue my balls were or how desperately I wanted to wrap myself up in her.
“Morning. I didn’t realize you were asleep. I’m sorry.”
Those thick full lashes of hers swept up, and our gazes held. “Don’t apologize. Apologizing implies wrongdoing, and you did nothing wrong.”
“Perhaps”—I tucked a strand of brown hair behind her ear and brushed my fingers along the smooth line of her jaw—“but I don’t ever want you to feel as though I’m taking advantage of you. I’d never do that.”
“I think the only person being taken advantage of here was you.” She pulled in a quick breath and laughed, shaking her head a little. “Jesus. Nothing like being a pleasure pole for a cat in heat.”
“A cat in heat, huh?” A lopsided grin spread across my face.
Cassi groaned, dropping her head to my chest to hide her embarrassment, and I tipped her chin so she was looking at me.
“Hey. The embarrassment, the shyness, the nervousness—it ends now. We’re past the awkwardness phase, okay?”
She nodded, and I drew her face closer, whispering in her ear. “Besides, I’m perfectly content with being whatever you need me to be, pleasure pole included.”
As if fighting her humiliation, her lips pressed together in a firm line, but a glimmer danced in her chocolate pools. The air sparked around us, and the longer we lay there, the heavier and thicker it became.
Cupping her cheek, I erased what remained of the distance.
Our mouths met in the middle as Cassi’s hands slid down my chest. Her palm found the bulge tenting the front of my jeans, and she gripped me through the denim, stroking me.
I groaned at the sensation of being touched by this woman, wanting nothing more than to feel her unravel beneath me, my name on her lips and my reflection in her eyes.
With a slight tremble in her slender fingers, she flicked open the button on my jeans. Anticipation swirled in the pit of my stomach, and there was no denying how much I wanted this. How badly I wanted to see those full lips of hers wrapped around my cock, licking and sucking, but damn, I couldn’t stay. My mouth opened to tell her so, but Cassi kissed me again, silencing me before I had an opportunity to speak. She went for my zipper, lowering it with speed and precision. Her hand disappeared into my boxers, and as she was about to free my dick from its tight confines, I reached for her elbows and dragged her up my chest.
I pressed my lips to hers and kissed her softly, slowing her frantic movements. “As much as I want this, as much as I want you, please don’t make me be that guy.”
“That guy?” She reared back. “What do you mean?”
“The one who immediately takes off.”
Frowning, Cassi started to sit up. “I didn’t realize you were that kind of guy.”
She attempted to completely distance herself, and I stopped her, holding her to me. “I’m not. I’m—” Goddamn it. I clamped my mouth shut, breathing out of my nose. I was screwing this up. “You should know by now I’m not that kind of person. Never have been and never will be.”
She didn’t seem convinced.
“Fuck, Cass, don’t look at me like that, please. Believe me when I say my new favorite place is right here on this couch with you. I’d love to stay, but I can’t stick around this morning. There is somewhere I’ve got to be. I won’t be long though, and if you want me to, I’ll come back.”
“Well, of course, I want you to. I was sort of hoping we’d spend the day together, but if you have other plans.”
“I’d rather not have other plans.”
“Is everything okay? With you? With us?” The apprehension and concern in her voice startled me, and it took a moment to realize why she felt compelled to ask. This was about last night. She needed reassurance after her emotional hiccup.
I kissed her. “Of course, everything’s okay. Everything’s absolutely perfect. I’m just going to see my father. It’s something I do every Sunday, and while I don’t exactly look forward to our visits, I do it to help him. Lord knows, he doesn’t have a grip on anything, much less his life. He’s been a mess since my mother died, and if I don’t go, he’ll completely lose it all.”
“Maybe he already has.”
Cassi’s noise-shattering statement echoed on for miles. Perhaps she had a point. Perhaps my father had lost it all when he’d lost my mother, but that wasn’t completely right either. He had me. For fuck’s sake, he had me, and he failed to see that, instead, allowing every page of his life to turn without being filled with memories. He was the blank book on the shelf that promised so much potential but held no words.
And I was just like him.
Only I’d been afraid to live my life because I wasn’t sure I’d have one. Why make plans for the future when you didn’t know if you’d be given a tomorrow? I had become accustomed to living in that mindset.
“So that’s where you went last Sunday when you left here.”
I gave her a small nod. “I’d ask you to come along, but one, I don’t want to subject you to that, and two, he and I didn’t exactly walk away from each other on good terms last week.”
“Is that why you came back looking to cut ties with me?”
I frowned, brushing her hair from her shoulder and leaning in to kiss the delicate curve. God, I’d never get tired of having my mouth on her. “It’s complicated. He got to me last week, that’s all. We argued. We both said things we didn’t mean. Now it’s time to swallow my pride and go back and attempt to make it right.”
“What did you argue about?”
My chest shook on a dry laugh. “Trust me, you don’t want to know.”
“Actually, I do. I want to know everything … everything there is to know about you. About your father. Your mother. You.”
Hell, when she said stuff like that how was I supposed to deny her? If we wanted to make this work then it was better to get this out in the open now. Right? The potential mountains we needed to climb, even if my father was one of them?
“He doesn’t think me seeing you is a wise decision.” I forced a swallow past the next set of words lumped in my throat, not sure how to give them a voice. “He thinks when you look at me, all you see is him—all you think about is Adam—and I’m the captivated fool blinded by my own intentions.”
She peered at me through impossibly thick lashes. “And what exactly are your intentions?”
“Truth?” I asked.
“Always.”
“Honestly, I don’t know. The only thing I’m one hundred percent certain about is that this heart in my chest … it aches with the need to be close to you.”
She bit down on her lip. “And what about the rest of you? Does it ache with the need to be close to me, too?”
I cupped her cheeks, looking right into her big expressive brown eyes. “Every single part. When I’m not with you, I feel a little less alive ... a little less whole.”
“You scare me,” she said on a rush, squeezing her eyes closed and dropping her forehead to mine. She shook her head slowly. “These feelings I have for you terrify me.”
“In the best way, I hope.”
“I’m beginning to think it’s the only way.”
I kissed her—hard, deep.
My arm circled her waist, and on our next break for air, I flipped her on her back, pinning her beautifully naked body between me and the cushions. Her spine arched. Her breasts brushed against my chest as her neck made room for me to kiss her there, and I did. I devoured her like she’d always been mine—not his, but mine—as if I were desperate to strip him from her memories and wipe his touch from her skin. Addy’s words chose that moment to ring in my ears, and I should have listened.
Wanting Cassi to forget Adam wasn’t fair.
She’d loved him first, but the selfish part of me wanted her to love me last.
Knowing we needed to stop, I tore my mouth off her, breathing heavy from the lust and adrenaline streaming through my veins. “I’m sorry, but I’ve got to go. We’ve got to save this for later.”
The words had fallen on deaf ears.
We kissed again, longer and far more out of control, and this time, when I broke away, I’d made up my mind. “You know what? I’ve changed my mind. I want you to come with me.”
Cassi stopped, looking at me incredulously. “What?”
“I want you to come with me.”
“Why? Are you sure?”
“Positive. I want him to meet you and understand exactly why I’m so crazy about you.”
She chewed on her lip, looking a little unsure, but agreeing anyway. “Okay. I have one condition, though.”
“Anything.”
“Five minutes. I want five minutes.” As the meaning of her words sank in, I relaxed into the cushions, my eyes granting her permission and then watching as she dragged the heavy denim of my jeans and the silk of my boxers down my thighs.
In the time it took to blink, her mouth was on me, warm and wet and too fucking incredible.
“Cassi … baby …” My hands slid into her hair, tugging the strands as she took me deep, stroking her lips along my cock, her tongue performing all kinds of magic. “Ah—fuck.”
She didn’t need five minutes. In only two, she’d given me the best goddamn orgasm of my life.