Chapter Twelve

Trevor was close to his sisters. They made it a point to maintain a family message thread, call each other regularly, and exchange photos of their lives. It was something that the team media jumped on, something that the rest of the guys found hilarious, either because it mirrored their own siblings, or because they couldn’t understand.

He was closest to Erica, but Laura was awesome, if several years younger than them. She had been born after Trevor had started hockey, and so had spent less time around her than Erica. Bess was probably the sister Trevor found it harder to relate to, but she was more interested in studying and books than she was anything else and abhorred sports – though she always came to hockey games when the family was in town.

“You know,” Bess said conversationally, the next time Trevor called her. It had been a few months, given the house move and everything else, and he hadn’t realized how much he’d missed her until they were video calling. “You don’t talk much about Nick.”

“Why would I?” Trevor said, a little defensively.

Bess’ eyes were shrewd, her brow furrowed in the way Trevor knew meant she was reading everything on his face, even though he was sure he was giving nothing away. “He might be your nanny,” Bess pointed out, “but that doesn’t mean you can’t be friends.”

Trevor opened his mouth to say something, and then remembered that Bess had been a nanny for a while, helping to put herself through college. She hadn’t been a live-in nanny, and maybe she was the reason why their mother had been able to convince Trevor it was a good idea, and nothing he could say about keeping their relationship professional would wash with Bess the same way it would anyone else. He was fairly sure Bess still communicated regularly with the children for whom she had been a nanny.

“I like him,” Trevor admitted, shrugging one arm. He was folding laundry, so many of the clothes were Gabrielle’s and he was realizing just how many different colors his daughter’s wardrobe consisted of. “He’s good with Gabrielle.”

“Yes, we can all see that,” Bess said with a smirk. “You send enough pictures.”

Trevor rolled his eyes to the ceiling. “That’s because Mom asks for them. I can’t refuse.”

Bess snorted, and when Trevor peered over at the phone, she was laughing at him. “Pretty sure Mom’s asking for pictures of Gabrielle, not for pictures of Gabrielle and Nick.”

“Nick’s her nanny. It’s not often that–” Trevor cut himself off. Bess would know that Nick always being around wasn’t the reason. She was more perceptive than that, and he couldn’t remember a time when she had decided to spend the night in with the family when she’d had a day off.

“Trevor,” Bess said seriously, leaning forward, her face almost filling the screen. “I love you, but you’re a moron. You’re allowed to admit that you like him.”

“I do,” Trevor said without question. When Bess gave him a roll of her eyes, he put the laundry down, focusing all of his attention on Bess. His heart was beating loudly in his chest, he could hear the thump of his heartbeat in his ears, and he had a grip on the edge of the counter that was making his knuckles white. “Like him.”

Bess frowned. “Yeah, I know.”

“No.” Trevor swallowed. “I like him.”

It took Bess a moment to understand what he was telling her. Her eyes widened, tongue darting out to lick at her bottom lip. “Shit, Trevor.”

Trevor laughed, knowing it sounded forced. “Tell me about it.”

“Thanks for telling me,” Bess said carefully. She was staring into the camera and though Trevor wanted to look away, he couldn’t bring himself to. “Does Mom know?”

“Fuck no,” Trevor said, his laugh this time more genuine. “Pretty sure she wouldn’t wanna hear that.”

Bess looked hurt on their mom’s behalf. “She wouldn’t hate on you for this, Trevor.”

“No,” Trevor said, dragging out the vowel. “I employ him. That’s the part I think she’ll have a problem with.”

The fact was, Trevor hadn’t actually told his parents about his preference for men. They’d had a talk, when he’d been old enough to start sleeping with people, about there being no judgment if he chose to sleep with someone of the same gender. Their family wasn’t particularly religious, and his mom’s brother was gay, so it had always been drilled into Trevor that being gay wasn’t wrong. That didn’t mean she’d want to hear that he had fallen for the person he was paying to care for Gabrielle – after she had expressly told him not to.

Bess sighed, propping her chin on her hand. “You could always fire him.”

Trevor’s eyes widened, and he knew he must have looked horrified because Bess held up her hands.

“I didn’t mean that to come out like it did. I just mean, explain how you feel. Maybe the two of you can find a way to be together and still have him look after Gabrielle.”

“I’m not even sure I can talk to him about this,” Trevor said. He didn’t want Nick to think he’d employed him just to get into his pants. What if he thought it was all a ploy to get with him and then dump him? Trevor’s mind was conjuring up a million ways it could go wrong, and he couldn’t stop the torrent of images from affecting how he reacted to the situation. “Maybe.”

Bess sighed. “Yeah, I won’t hold my breath.”

Trevor shrugged. They both knew he wouldn’t do anything until he was forced to or grew some actual balls. Steering the conversation into safer waters, Trevor returned to folding the laundry, asking Bess about her marriage plans – and if they were ever going to set a date.

When he finally cut the call, Nick and Gabrielle were back from the park and he could surprise his daughter. She squealed as he swept her up, laughing into his neck. “Did you have a good practice, Daddy?”

“I did,” Trevor said, taking a bag from Nick. He was carrying the groceries, struggling under the weight, and though he had one arm supporting his daughter, he could still help out.

“Thanks,” Nick said, breathlessly, and Trevor was glad he had his back turned because he couldn’t keep from flushing at that, wondering if that’s what Nick sounded like when he was–

Trevor was going to kill Bess.

“So how was shopping?”

“Boring,” Gabrielle said. “Except Mr. Nick bought me this.”

There was a new toy in her hands, the packet a bright orange monstrosity with a cartoon picture of a shark on it. The toy apparently went in the bath, and when Nick turned, he shrugged with a rueful smile. “We need more incentive to get her in the bath.”

“Have you been refusing to wash,” Trevor said, with a mock scowl.

Gabrielle stared at him, looking sheepish. “Sometimes I don’t wanna.”

“It’s more that apparently I don’t do it right.” Nick was staring down at the grocery bags, piling stuff onto the counter sorted by perishable, cold, and cans.

“Gabrielle,” Trevor said. She ducked her head, but he rested two fingers under her chin, forcing her to look up. “Just because I can’t be here to make sure you’re doing everything you should be, doesn’t mean you get to mess Nick around.”

Gabrielle nodded, lips trembling, and Trevor forced himself to hold his ground.

“So next time Nick asks you to have a bath?”

“I have a shark now,” Gabrielle said, aiming for something safer for her. “I’ll have a bath, Daddy, I promise.”

Trevor’s jaw tightened. He hated having to be a bad guy, but she couldn’t work on the assumption that someone had to buy something for her to do what they wanted. “The first time you have a bath, you can’t play with the shark.”

Gabrielle’s eyes widened, but thankfully she thought better of protesting.

“I love you, baby, but you can’t be naughty and then expect a reward when you’re good.” He paused, pressing a kiss to her forehead. “Do you understand?”

“Yes, Daddy,” Gabrielle said, burying her face in his neck. The shark toy was getting crushed between them, but Trevor didn’t care. He squeezed her tight, ignoring the, “Sorry,” Nick blurted out, staring down at the vegetables.

Trevor waited until Gabrielle was settled in the living room with her toys and then peered through the door, at where Nick was still putting the groceries away. “If she’s acting up, you have to talk to me.”

Nick sighed. “I know.”

“Why didn’t you?” Trevor wasn’t mad. He wanted Nick to be able to trust him not to fly off the handle. “I wouldn’t have yelled at you.”

“I didn’t want you to think I couldn’t handle it,” Nick admitted, leaning against the counter. At least he was looking at Trevor. “I do all right most of the time, and so does she when you’re not here.” It wasn’t an accusation, not with the expression of apology on Nick’s face, but Trevor couldn’t help but think of it as such. “Sometimes she doesn’t wanna do it because I’m not her Dad and I don’t know how to handle it. I don’t want to bother you with it because I know why she’s doing it.”

“It doesn’t matter,” Trevor stressed. “I don’t want her to know that she can play you to get what she wants. It’ll teach her the wrong thing.”

Nick scrubbed at his face, obviously frustrated. “I know. I told myself that – and my mom told me I should tell you, but I couldn’t admit that I didn’t know how to handle something.”

“Nannies aren’t supposed to do everything on their own,” Trevor said. “And if someone’s told you that, it’s bullshit. You look after Gabrielle when I’m not around, but you’re not supposed to handle the parenting.”

Nick balked, going pale. “That’s not what I’m trying to–”

“No,” Trevor said, holding up his hands. He didn’t know why talking to Nick was so hard to do. “I meant that you’re allowed to tell her off and you’re allowed to sort stuff out when she needs you to, but if you’re having a problem, I’m her dad and I’m supposed to help you.”

It was awkward for a moment, but Nick nodded quickly.

“All right,” he said, giving Trevor a small smile. “Sorry. I should have talked to you before now.”

“And I should have said something,” Trevor admitted. “You’re so good with her that I forget she can be a pain sometimes.”

“I’m sure she doesn’t mean to be,” Nick said. “She can’t have had it easy.”

There was no actual question in there, but Trevor opened his mouth to explain when Gabrielle called from the living room. Nick, oblivious to the fact that Trevor was about to confide in him about something important, waved him off with the start of a grin.

“You should see what she wants. I can’t imagine she’ll let you hide for long.”

Trevor huffed a laugh and tried not to be disappointed.