Chapter Twenty-Five

Trevor’s alarm cut through his sleep and he groaned, slapping his hand out toward his phone.

It burst to life as he did so, cursing as the bright light almost blinded him. Behind the curtains, the daylight had started to dim, and a quick check of his phone told him that he had a couple of hours before he had to be at the rink. Downstairs, there were the sounds of dishes clanking in the kitchen and Gabrielle giggling. His mother said something, and Gabrielle giggled again. Trevor let the noise wash over him, glad that Gabrielle had something to laugh about again, instead of spending every day upset.

He checked his phone and was startled to see a voicemail notification from Nick. His heart immediately picked up speed as he opened it.

There was the usual spiel from the voicemail box and then Nick was talking in Trevor’s ear. Closing his eyes, he blew out a slow breath.

“Trevor.” Nick sounded relieved and a little shaken. Trevor couldn’t blame him. How had it only been a few days since he’d been in the house? It felt like a lifetime ago. “I should have called later. I know you’re napping now. I don’t have long so I guess I’ll,” there was a break and then Nick was huffing. “Sorry, I was just pulling into the parking lot. I do want to talk. I’m sorry too and I want to talk. Whenever you’re ready.”

The tone cut across whatever Nick might have said next, and Trevor stared at his phone, seeing a message from Nick left a few minutes after the voicemail had cut off.

Nick: Have a good game. I know you’ll score. Kiss Gabrielle for me <3

Trevor didn’t know what to do with himself. Part of him was elated that Nick had called back, though sad that he hadn’t managed to catch it. He wanted to show Gabrielle the message, but until he and Nick had actually spoken face to face, he couldn’t broach that subject with her.

Your stuff is still here, Trevor typed out. You should come by tomorrow or Friday and pick it up. We can talk and see what we wanna do. You can kiss Gabrielle yourself.

It was as much as Trevor was willing to give and he hoped that Nick took it. Swinging his legs over the side of the bed, he stared at his phone for a while, hoping that Nick had his phone nearby and would reply. There was a bang from downstairs and an excited yell from Gabrielle. Trevor wondered what his mother was doing to his kitchen and resolved to go and find out. Nick would message, or he wouldn’t. Staring at his phone and willing it to ping was stupid.

Trotting downstairs, Trevor slipped his phone into his back pocket, unable to keep the smile from his face. His daughter seemed happy and he had managed to text Nick. Whatever happened from here on out would be good, whether that meant they stayed together, or they didn’t. Trevor was a grown man, a father, and he would do whatever it took to keep Gabrielle happy, even if that meant letting her see Nick.

The kitchen was indeed a mess, though his mom was trying her best to wash up as much as she could between the disaster that was Gabrielle baking anything. Trevor had only tried it with her once, and that had been with Nick supervising.

“What are you making?”

Gabrielle held up hands that were sticky with cookie dough. “We’re making cookies! For your friends, Daddy.”

Trevor raised his eyebrows at his mom, but it was Gabrielle who answered.

“The team, Daddy. They’re your friends, aren’t they?”

“Sure,” Trevor agreed affably, though he was sure that wasn’t true of a couple of the guys anymore. “I’m sure they’ll love them.”

“Good,” Gabrielle said, going back to sticking her hands into the cookie dough. Donna was supervising, leaning over her shoulder and instructing her on the best way to put the cookie dough onto the tray. Trevor left them to it, heading over to the breakfast bar and sliding onto one of the stools. He took a couple of pictures of Gabrielle and his mother, both covered in flour and Gabrielle with chocolate around her mouth and sent them to his sisters.

He received back a lot of exclamation marks and promises that they would be down to visit, but Bess sent another text message, privately.

Bess: Mom said you and Nick had broken up. What happened!!!

Trevor made a face. Broken up sounded like such a stupid phrase for that kind of heartbreak, but he didn’t want to go into that with his sister.

Trevor: Apparently, he didn’t know whether I liked him for him or because he was my nanny. Teammates agree.

Bess didn’t take long to reply.

Bess: Your teammates are dicks and also hockey players.

Trevor snorted, but she had a point. Hockey players weren’t known for the social skills, or for their ability to handle relationships. Trevor was loathe to blame his own failings with Nick on that excuse, especially given how desperate he was to keep hockey separate from his home life – and from Gabrielle – but it was a generalization that tended to be true.

Bess: I hope you told him what you told me. That you were worried about him being your nanny.

Looking back up, Donna was currently pressing down Gabrielle’s lumps of dough into flat cookie shapes while Gabrielle was pretending to pay attention, licking the spoon. Trevor’s lips quirked up.

Trevor: No. Kinda messy atm but I’m fixing it.

Bess: Good, you better. Nick was good for you. Made you happy.

Trevor turned his phone upside down on the counter, chest full of emotion. Bess wasn’t prone to outbursts of sentimentality, their last conversation notwithstanding, but when she said something, it was direct and honest. He wiped his hands on his jeans.

“So, when do the boys get those cookies?”

Gabrielle dropped the spoon onto the counter, giving Donna a bright smile as she did so, innocent. Nobody in the room was buying it, but Donna snatched the spoon, poking Gabrielle on the nose with it.

“Nana!” Gabrielle swiped at her nose but turned the smile on Trevor. “Tonight, Daddy. They’re good luck cookies for the game.”

“Wow,” Trevor said, dropping down to the floor. “Now we have to win, don’t we?”

“Duh.” Gabrielle stepped down from the stool, coming around to stand next to Trevor. “Nana said I can’t put the cookies in the oven, but I can help her when they’re cool.”

Trevor knelt down in front of her, tugging off her dirty apron, and taking the cloth his mother passed over the counter. “Nana’s right. You don’t wanna burn yourself.”

Gabrielle looked thoughtful. “Maybe when I’m six, I can take them out?”

“Maybe,” Trevor said, chuckling as he wiped Gabrielle’s face and hands. “Right, you’re clean.”

Clapping her hands together, thankfully dough free, she ran a few steps toward the living room and then turned, hesitating. “Can we save two cookies for Mr. Nick?”

It took Trevor a moment to answer, but he smiled, thinking of the kiss Nick had wanted to give her. “Of course, you can.”

Grinning, Gabrielle skipped out of the kitchen and Trevor turned back to see his mother’s quirked eyebrow, her smile.

“What?”

“Nothing,” Donna said with a shrug of her shoulder.

Trevor didn’t buy it for a second but said nothing else, just gave his mom a bright grin and grabbed his phone, pocketing it as he joined Gabrielle in the living room. He wanted to enjoy spending time with his daughter before having to get ready for the game.

Gabrielle was in the middle of explaining how she was getting better at coloring – though Trevor didn’t have the heart to explain about keeping inside the lines just yet – when his phone started to vibrate. Nick’s name flashed up on the display and he fumbled to answer the call, feeling once again like a teenager.

“Trevor.”

“Hi,” Trevor managed, staring at Gabrielle’s face. She was still coloring, tongue poking between her teeth as she gripped her crayon. “I didn’t think you were gonna call today.”

“I wasn’t,” Nick admitted. A pause. Then, “I couldn’t stop staring at my phone.”

Trevor laughed gently, feeling less like an idiot. “Nor could I. I feel like a teenager.”

Nick’s laugh echoed back, sending a warmth spreading through Trevor. How could something so simple make him feel miles better?

“There’s so much I want to say,” he said eventually, not sure that Nick was going to continue.

“I know.” Nick sucked in a breath. “I am sorry for not explaining myself.”

“Me too.” Trevor watched Gabrielle get a clean sheet of paper and start scribbling. His mother was still moving about the kitchen and Trevor settled into the couch. “Maybe we should have talked properly.”

Nick’s laugh was a touch self-deprecating. “Something to work on for the future.” He paused. “If there is a future.”

“I think,” Trevor started, choosing his words carefully. He could hear Nick’s breathing on the end of the phone, and the noise he made, sounding almost pained. “Hey, Nick, no. I want to do this, all right?”

“Nick?” Gabrielle looked up immediately, and Trevor groaned, annoyed with himself.

“Yes, honey,” Trevor said, hoping Nick would understand he wasn’t ignoring him. Gabrielle jumped to her feet and approached him carefully, almost shy.

“Can I say hello?”

“Sure,” Nick said in Trevor’s ear, and Trevor huffed.

“Make the decision for me,” Trevor said before he could stop himself. It was a touch too close to the last time they spoke, arguing about Gabrielle, but thankfully Nick didn’t seem to take it badly. Handing his phone to Gabrielle, Trevor watched her cradle it carefully and press it to her ear.

“Mr. Nick?” Trevor could hear Nick say something and Gabrielle’s face eased into a smile as she leaned back against Trevor. Trevor kept one ear on their conversation, the other on listening out for his mother. The clock above the TV was telling him he didn’t have long before he had to leave for the rink. “All right, Mr. Nick. I’ll see you soon.” A giggle. “I’m doing my numbers. Daddy, tell Mr. Nick I’m doing my numbers.”

Apparently done with the conversation, Gabrielle thrust the phone toward him and jumped down from the couch.

“Mr. Nick,” Trevor said obediently. “She’s doing her numbers.”

Nick laughed again. “I’m glad she’s still focused.” There was another pause where neither of them seemed to know what to say. Then Nick breathed out slow. “You can find another nanny for her if that’s what you want.”

“What I want,” Trevor said, tipping his head back and closing his eyes. “Is for you to come back but I know why you won’t. I didn’t then. I think I get it now.”

“I want nothing more than to have everything, but I have to know,” Nick said, words coming out in a rush like he was getting them out before he could change his mind. “I want you when there’s nothing keeping us together but us.”

Trevor smiled into the phone, let himself imagine it. Nick wasn’t his nanny, he wasn’t paying for Nick to be with him. It was just the two of them and their want to be together. “I know. I want the same thing.”

There was a huff of breath, relief, Trevor realized. “Good.”

“Yeah,” Trevor said nonsensically. His eyes flicked once again to the clock. “I have to leave soon.”

“I know,” Nick said. “I just wanted to talk to you before you played. You’ll be awesome.”

“Thanks,” Trevor laughed. “Glad you have more faith in that than me.”

“Shut up.” Nick was grinning, Trevor could hear it in his voice. “Don’t pretend you’re not completely aware of how great you are. I’ll see you later, Trevor.”

“See you later, Nick,” Trevor said, unable to keep from grinning himself. When he hung up the phone, Gabrielle giving him a bright smile, all teeth, and happiness, and Trevor returned it.

He was under no illusions; it would be difficult, and one phone call wasn’t going to fix everything wrong between them, but it was a beginning, and one Trevor was ready to start building on.