Chapter Four
Xia
Instead of being nervous, I’m excited as I peer in the mirror for a final once over. I paired an off-the-shoulder black crop top T-shirt with black jeans and combat boots. It’s casual but flirty and flattering. The yoga and pilates that helped me unwind after work is benefitting me in other ways as well. I kept my lipstick flattering. The ombre purple fades from a shiny lighter purple to a darker hue that reminds me of space. I won’t pretend I wasn’t thinking about kissing when I choose a long lasting color which won’t smudge.
The man talks a good game, and I want to see if he lives up to his hype. The wicked gleam in his eyes make me believe he can. There’s a silent authority to him.
“Are you going to tell me where we’re headed?” I ask as excitement winds its way through my body.
“Now where’s the fun in that?”
Coming from anyone else I’d balk, but not with him. His spontaneity is a catching disease. I like that he lives in the moment and has a devil may care attitude.
“I guess it’ll be an adventure then.”
He rests against the doorframe. Suddenly, I’m inches away from his beautiful brownish-green orbs. Unusually full of emotions, they pin me to my spot
“I want you to know this isn’t my thing. Dating. You’re not one in a long line of many. You’re the first. The only one I’ve ever been this interested in getting to know.”
His words are sobering. “Why are you telling me this?”
“I won’t be satisfied until I know every part of you, and I want you to see me. Not Charming, but Shayne, and that’s a thing I’ve never had with anyone else. This is me explaining my intentions because I’m done with the hot and cold. If we do this, we both need to be all in.”
My mouth becomes a desert and blood rushes into my ears. The sincerity visible in his color-changing eyes is intense and frank.
“Shayne—”
He places a finger over my lips. “All you have to do is say yes and let me do all the work, Xi. I’ve never minded working hard for what I want it. You’re worth it, and from what I see it’s time someone reminded you of that. You may be invisible to your family, but I promise you that will never happen with me. You shine so brightly I’m blinded just looking at you.” He clears his throat. “I’m not the type of man who’s good with words.”
“Believe me, you are,” I whisper, dazed.
He smirks, and the man with swag I’ve grown used to returns. “Only for you. Are you ready to do this with me? ’Cause I won’t accept less than everything you have to give.”
I lick my lips. “What about you?”
“You can have as much of me as you can handle.”
There’s an inherent wildness about him that fascinates and frightens me. I’m aware that I’ve been in a bubble for most of my life. My parents made sure of that. He’s a taste of everything I’ve always craved and longed for. I want him, and not just physically. I long to understand the pain lingering in his eyes and the man behind the incredible physique and charisma. There’s something irresistible about being his first. He seems like the type who’s done a lot of living.
“O-okay?”
He trails his finger down my neck, and I shiver.
“Be sure. Once you agree, there’s no taking it back.”
“I won’t want to.”
His lips curve up. Wrapping his hand around my neck, he pulls my body to his. The heat radiating off his body and the hard planes have my insides quivering.
“Seems like the type of thing we seal with a kiss.” He slants his mouth over mine, and I’m drowning in the soft feel of his lips and the knee-weakening skills he’s unleashing on me.
Twining my arms around his neck, I thrust my tongue into his mouth, eager for more. He moans. The minty flavor of his mouth has me echoing his sounds of pleasure. I can feel him pressed up against me as we move our heads this way and that. This kiss was a long time coming. I’m wet, and he’s only touched me with his mouth.
Finally, the desperate need for oxygen forces us apart.
Trembling, I rest my head on his shoulder. “Why did we wait so long to do that?” I ask huskily.
His chuckle moves his body, and he squeezes the back of my neck, re-igniting the fire smoldering in my belly. “’Cause you’re stubborn, and I knew myself enough to understand once I tasted you there’s no way I could go back to being just your friend.”
“And what do you think I am now?”
“Mine,” he growls softly.
The words should send me running in the opposite direction, but I feel a thrill of excitement with his gentle claiming. I lean back, and the weight of his darkened stare makes me gasp. There’s no oppression, just longing, protection, and the promise of something more.
“I’m a possessive man. I’m loyal and protective of those I care about. It’s important you keep that in mind.”
I tilt my head back to take in his face. “And what about you? What are you to me?”
“Yours.”
I can’t hide the shock his words cause.
“If I didn’t want to be, wouldn’t have asked you. We’re in this together. This is a mutual agreement based on trust and respect. Anything else ain’t worth the attempt.”
I duck my head. Placing a finger under my chin, he forces me to get my head. “You with me on this?” he asks.
I nod. “Yeah.”
“Look at me.”
I force my gaze to his. “I’m going to treat you the way you deserve. We both need this.” His voice waivers. What happened to him? “I made a lot of mistakes in my life. I was young, stupid, and ignorant in many ways. That time is over. So when I tell you I’m going to do right by you, I need you to believe me.” He tightens his hold. “Understand?”
I nod my head. He kisses my forehead, and I know I am completely fucked. “Good. Now let’s go have this date I sweated bullets planning.”
I burst out into laughter. “You don’t even care if I know.”
“Naw, ain’t my style. I’m new at this thing, so if I’m screwing up I want to know. Don’t bite your tongue, be direct. Vague statements have never been my forte. I’m not a problem solver or a message decoder. I was raised to be blunt.”
“I was raised the exact opposite, Southern politeness.”
“I knew things were going to be interesting with you.”
***
I’m pleasantly surprised to find he’s taken me to the Venice canals.
“I haven’t been here in forever.” I crane my neck as I peer around the water pathways. “I forgot how beautiful it is here.”
“We’ll have to look around at another time. I have plans.” Color me impressed. “You’ll find I’m good at setting things up.” Wrapping an arm around my shoulder, he pulls me close to his side. “You’re too far from me.”
Is this real? I feel like I’ve stepped into a daydream. I never would’ve expected this man to have this inside of him. His gentleness and attentiveness aren’t helping me stay objective. He’s applying the same intensity he uses for work to me, and I’m not sure how I feel about it. I’m not used to being the center of attention or having a man like this one look at me like I’m the stars in the sky. Dazzling, and mysterious.
We go to an embankment where a gondola is waiting with two men in traditional black and white T-shirt and black pants. In the center of the gondola is a red and white checkered table.
“I hope you like pizza,” Shayne says. “We have a reservation for two for Spencer.”
“Welcome, senora and senor.” I can’t help but be enchanted when the man is taking me on a gondola ride and feeding me pizza. As he helps me down into the red boat, I see the life I’ve always wanted slowly starting to take shape. Seated beside him with the sunlight dancing on the water, a cold beer in my hand, and a slice of tasty pizza on the white plate in front of me, I can see the dream taking shape.
“This is incredible. Thank you.”
“I’m glad you like it. Your palate is a bit more refined than I’m used to, so I was worried.”
I elbow him. “Stop it.”
“What? I’m serious. I’ve learned more about food, flavors, and pairings in the truck than I have in my entire life. Other than how to make a few really good marinades and how to grill properly, my father never taught me and my brother more than the basics of cooking.”
“You catch on fast. Not everyone can keep up with the fast-paced environment.”
“I work well under pressure.”
“What did you do before this?”
“I was a mechanic. I worked for my family owned shop. It’s still successful, but we’ve been investing our money and branching out to give us more income and employment opportunities.”
“I can see you working on cars and motorcycles.” It’s all too easy to picture him a pair of tight jeans a white T-shirt smeared with grease, and a navy blue uniform shirt with his name on a white patch.
“Did you wear a uniform?” My mind paints a picture my libido agrees with.
“Yeah.”
“What color?” I ask huskily.
“Navy. Is this a thing for you?” he whispers.
I peer up at him and shrugs.
A smirk lines his lips. “Anytime you want to place dress up, just let me know.”
“I might take you up on that, Mr. Spencer.” I press my thighs together to dull the ache in my core and slickening panties. He’s what Jas and I refer to as sex on a stick.
He leans in. His lips brush my ear, and I shiver. “The question is what will you dress up as?”
“Uhura, from Star Trek.”
“Just call me Spock.”
“You know who I was talking about?” I ask, thrilled.
He winks. “I got a little geek in me.”
“Is this where I ask if you’d like a little more?”
“Don’t steal my lines, woman,” he chides playfully. With the walls down I see more of who he truly is. I like it. I want to learn more.
“Tell me about your life. I know you have a brother.”
“My immediate family is small. Just my brother, since my father passed. It was recent, and I’m still working my way through that.”
“Oh, I’m so sorry.”
His face ripples with a number of muddied emotions I can’t place my finger on. “We didn’t see eye to eye in the end. He wasn’t the best person, and it took me a long time to see him for what he was.”
“Of course it did. He’s family, and we have a hard time seeing their flaws for what they are,” I reply, thinking of my own father.
He smiles. “In this instance, I should’ve though.” His mood dims.
“Tell me about your brother,” I say, quickly distracting him.
We spend the rest of the evening getting to know each other better. As the sun sinks into the horizon, turning the ocean into a living oil painting, I can’t help but be grateful for the changes coming in my life.
***
Shayne
“How’s L.A., man?” Echo asks.
“It’s all right. I’m learning a lot. I’m kind of excited to get back and get things going. Did Stone pick someone to do the research?”
“Yeah, he’s got Tinley on it.”
“Shocker,” I say dryly.
“You noticed their thing, too?”
“Wait, they have a thing? Did he actually make a move?” I ask, sitting up on my couch.
“If he did I can’t tell. It’s painful, man. The tension between them is palpable.”
“Funny how he’s always talking about continuing the legacy with families, but he’s never been in a hardcore relationship that I remember.”
“Me either. He’s got a lot of responsibility though. It’d take a hell of a woman to come second to not just the club, but all the men under him.”
“Truth. You think Tinley has it?” I want to see Stone happy. He’s a good leader, and women tend to have a grounding effect, which is always a good thing for the President.
“Maybe. Whatever her story is, she’s taken to club life easily and gained his trust. Speaking of family, D’Rose is pregnant.”
“Holy shit! Congratulations, brother!”
“Thanks, we’re keeping it to ourselves for now because it’s still early.”
“I get it. Is she excited?”
“Yeah, but nervous as hell.”
“Well, she is the one who has to deliver the thing. I think she’s allowed to be,” I reply.
He snickers. “Neither of us has the best track record with two-parent homes.”
“You two are so good together you make me nauseous. You have nothing to worry about.”
“You think so?”
It’s strange being the one to reassure my brother. He always seemed to have all the answers growing up, whether I wanted them at the time or not.
“I know so, dude. You always steered me in the right direction, or at least tried to, and you never gave up on me.”
“And I never will.”
His words make me smile. “I’ve been thinking about him.”
“Dad?”
“Yeah,” I whisper.
“Why?”
“How wrong he was, and how blindly I followed him. How do you explain that to people and expect them to not judge you by it?”
“Who’s business would it be?” Echo asks.
I struggle with the decision to mention Xia.
“Wait, what’s going on, Charm?”
“I met someone.”
He laughs. “Only you, Prince Charming.”
“It’s not like that. She’s not a quick tumble in the hay. Xia is everything I don’t deserve.”
“Xia? Wait, isn’t that your boss’s daughter who’s training you?”
“Yeah—”
“Jesus, you never do anything easy, do you?” he scoffs.
“I didn’t plan this. She came out of nowhere, dude. Like … a damn spectral.”
“Your ass is getting mushy. This has to be serious.”
“It is. She’s so funny, warm, and quirky in that Comic-con chick sort of way. She has green hair and the softest,, honey brown skin I’ve ever had the pleasure of feeling.”
“Wait. Is she black? That’s why you were asking me about your past … That’s a tough call, Charm.”
“I know. Eventually, I have to tell her. Maybe … just not yet.”
“I don’t think leaving it will make the telling any easier,” he says softly.
“I want her to get to know me before I show her the darkness I know is going to stain my soul for the rest of my life.”
“Jesus, give yourself a break. You were a stupid kid misguided by the one person who you should’ve been up to trust unconditionally.”
“You knew the difference though.”
“I fell for D’Rose. It changed my view of everything. She was my wake up call.”
The reverence in his voice gives me hope. If they could overcome my racist father’s interference, and the pain of miscommunications and years of separation, maybe I’ve got a snowball’s chance in hell of keeping Xia.
“How long has this thing been going on?”
“A few weeks. It took some convincing. She’s lead a sheltered life, man. The baby of a three child family with traditional values, she’s always been expected to live up to certain expectations.”
“Oh, they’re going to love you.”
“You’re supposed to be supportive.”
“I am. I’m also realistic.”
“Buzz kill.”
“Well, we can’t all be as charming as you, can we? Tell me more about this mystery woman.”
He opens the flood gates, and I say everything I’ve been holding close to my chest. Sharing makes it more real.
I end the conversation better for the telling and reconnection. I spent so many years at odds with him. We’re still making up for lost time.
***
“You nervous, Xi?” I ask as she climbs on the back of my bike.
“A little. Jas and Andy are more than best friends. They’re family.”
“I get that. You think we won’t get along?”
“No, I think you will. You’re a likable guy once you open your mouth.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” I ask.
“You’re intimidating. I mean, you’re six foot twelve, and you have an edgy, commanding vibe.”
I laugh. “Babe, I’m not that tall, and you’re five-ten.”
“Which is why if I’m saying you’re tall, you’re huge to most everyone else.”
I shake my head as she wraps her arms around my waist and I start the bike.
We’re doing a double date. It’s laughable how domesticated I’ve become since relocating. My own studio apartment, a-nine-to-five, and now double dating. The brothers would bust a gut laughing at me. I’m shocked at how well I’m assimilating. I’ve fallen into a rhythm that allows me time to think. It’s a double-edged sword. The things I’ve run from are front and center, and the questions I’ve avoided demand answers.
The predictability of the job isn’t dull. It’s a challenge to stay visible, create a buzz, keep up with the demand for food, and deliver top notch customer service. When I’m done for the day, I feel accomplished. I can only imagine how much that feeling will increase when I’m running a truck I’ve helped build from scratch. I can’t wait to see what Tinley comes up with. The final decision will be mine, but I’m not about to pretend I’m good with design. We have enough techy folks to handle that after I come up with a theme.
My life is taking on a deeper meaning. I think that’s what I needed—to feel like part of something again. The time on the road toughened me up and kept me putting one foot in front of the other, but it was only a patch job. I’m happy with Xia, yet I know I’m on borrowed time. Eventually, the truth is going to come out. I won’t worry about it yet. We’re still in our fledgling stage. I have time. Even in my head, the statement sounds like a lie. The darkness I lived in for too long threatens to blot out the happiness I found. Pulling the throttle, I increase the speed, outrunning it on my bike, the way I’ve done a million times before.
I turn into the parking lot of what looks like a warehouse. Smog City Brewery is well disguised. We remove and store our helmets, and I hand Xia her purse. As she climbs off the motorcycle, I see a couple approach. The man is a tall, lanky looking man with shaggy light brown hair, and his curvy wife has black and red hair, an easy smile, and milk-chocolate skin. Andy and Jasmine. This may be my first time meeting them, but I’ve heard plenty.
Jasmine’s smile is huge and brilliant against her dark skin. Her eyes are full of kindness and I can’t help but feel welcome. “Shayne, it is so good to finally meet you.”
“Likewise, Jasmine.” I return her smile.
“Call me, Jas.”
“Will do.”
“This is my husband, Andy. Andy, this is Xia’s mystery man, Shayne.” She gestures with her hands. Constantly in motion, she’s a bundle of energy.
He laughs. “Nice to meet you, Shayne. I’ve heard a lot about you.”
“All good things I hope,” I say as we shake hands.
“From what I could understand. There was a lot of giggling going on.”
Jas slaps him playfully. “You are so full of it.”
“Do not believe everything he tells you,” Xia adds.
We exchange a glance, and the humor filling his green gaze leads me to decide I’m going to like him. His shake was firm. Laid back or not, I can see his backbone. It’s a good counter balance to deal with his wife’s upbeat and outgoing personality.
“Have you ever been here before?” I ask.
“No, but we’ve heard good things. I mean, you can’t really go wrong with a local brewery. Even if you don’t like the flavors, they are fresh and plenty of them to try,” Andy replies.
“I like the way you think.”
The girls pair off, whispering back and forth as they walk in front of us. When Xia peers over her shoulder and gives me a shy smile, something inside of me turns upside down. I wink, and she turns back to her friend.
“Are they always like this?” I ask.
“Pretty much the entire time I’ve known them. They met in kindergarten, and that was that. My family moved here in the middle of first grade, and I was sort of absorbed into their dynamic. The whole ‘girls aren’t gross’ thing came far later.”
“Jesus, I can’t imagine having that sort of history with one person I’m not actually related to.”
“It’s rare, especially around here where people are usually transplants.”
We step inside the taproom, and I take in the rustic set up—long, wooden tables with black slabs and bright red chairs, wooden barrels with taps, and a small register. In this room, the beer is definitely the star. As we gather our samples and move to a table, I fall into the conversation. So this is what normal life is about. They talk about their jobs, what they plan to do to their homes, and things they want to do. It’s so normal and yet completely bizarre for me.
I’m getting an education in everyday life, and it’s not the horror show I expected it to be. They like their jobs, and their brand of fun is one I can get into.
“You’re from near San Diego, right?” Andy asks, drawing me back into the conversation.
“Yeah.”
“Have you ever been to Comic-con?”
“The big Comic book show downtown? No.”
“Dude, you have to go with us next year,” Jas says with her dark eyes dancing.
They don’t even know me and yet they’re extending kindness. It’s the opposite of the secretive world I come from.
“Is that something you’d want to do?” Xia asks cautiously. She’s a big girl, but she’s had a lot of disappointment recently.
“I think it’d be fun,” I reply.
She beams, and I know I’ve answered correctly.
“Finally I won’t be outnumbered,” Andy mumbles.
It’s easy to imagine myself in their inner circle. It’s muddling my feelings about club life. Here among strangers, I’m finding a place I fit in. How long will that last when the truth comes out? It’s a question I have no way of answering.
Xia’s laughter rings out, and I can’t take my eyes off her. Whatever I need to do, I can’t lose this. It’s been a life preserver in a rocky ocean. With her at my side, I have a shot at being a better man.