Chapter Three
Amara
Baylor sits at her station in the shop and listens to me going on and on about my evening with Nathan. Alden is still moping at the house, along with not talking to me still. This morning at breakfast he only stared at the cereal.
“And you kissed him?”
“Sorta. I pecked his cheek.” I really wanted to have a full-on kiss, but he didn’t seem to want it, so I backed off.
“That’s a step.” She beams. “I’m happy for you both.”
“Don’t get too excited.” I sigh. “I guess we’re going slow or whatever.”
“Slow isn’t a bad thing.”
“I guess not.”
“Take your time with him. Maybe he’s going slowly because he’s been hurt.”
I never thought of that. He and I hadn’t talked about past relationships. “You think he’ll run if I tell him I’m a virgin?”
“If he does, then he wasn’t the one.” She pats my hand. “Just talk to him when the time is right.”
“Okay.” I nod. “I’m going to get some work done.” I head back over to the front of the building and get ready for the first appointment.
The day seems to go by quickly as clients come and go. Baylor and I head home together. When I get home, Alden and Kace are on the porch.
“What are you two doing?” Baylor asks after Kace hugs her.
“Dad’s mad.”
“What’s new?” I scoff heading into the house and immediately am hit with the smell of roses. My eyes turn to the living room where there are dozens upon dozens of roses and balloons everywhere saying Happy Birthday.
“Your boyfriend has been sending this shit all day.” Alden growls standing next to me. “He doesn’t even know when your birthday is.”
I blink away my happy tears. “He does know. Now. He felt bad when I told him no one celebrated with me.”
“Whatever. We always celebrate your birthday.” He snaps.
“No, we don’t. I ate a single cupcake in my car, like some loser and got a tattoo. Mom was in Montreal selling the house and you were off playing hockey,” I yell.
He looks down for a second and I thought he’d be sincere with his apology, but instead he says, “Well, I sure as fuck don’t need any more roses in my house.”
“Your house? Stop acting like my father.” My voice rises.
“I’m not your asshole father. He’s the guy who left while you were getting chemo. I’m the guy who has been paying your way through life.” His voice matches mine and we’re toe-to-toe.
“How dare you throw that in my face?” Alden’s never done this before, and it actually hurts. “I’ve been taking care of you as well. By now you would have blown all your money hadn’t I put you on a budget.”
“Shut up.” He sneers. “Just tell your boy—”
“He’s not my boyfriend,” I scream as anger is boiling through me. “I finally have some attention from a guy for two seconds and you know what? It scares me to death. How the hell do I tell him I’m a virgin, who can’t have kids, whose cancer can come back at any time and currently feels like the dumbest person in the world because her RN test is tougher than she thought.” Hot tears burn my cheeks as they pour from my eyes. “You’re an asshole.”
I race up the stairs and slam the door shut. I fall onto my bed, crying.
I don’t know how long I laid there but a knock on the door causes me to wipe my cheeks. “Go away.”
“It’s me.” Baylor cracks open the door. “May I come in?”
“Sure.” I reach for a tissue on my nightstand.
“Nathan gave you a card.” She sits on the side of the bed, handing me the envelope.
I open it and see some horrible handwriting, but I’m able to make it out.
The Goddess of Thunder has nothing on you. Happy birthday to my Thor.
Nathan
“I don’t get it.” Her perplexed face matches her tone. “Isn’t Thor a dude?”
“Not now.” I point to the comics at the end of my bed. “He thinks I’m Thor.” I giggle.
“Oh.” She picks up the books and glances over them. “That’s sweet.”
I nod.
“Alden feels bad.”
“No he doesn’t.” I correct her. “He’s an ass.”
“He can be, but he loves you more than anything. He’s just going through a lot.”
“He needs to apologize to me.”
“He will. Someday.”
I shrug. I know she’s right, but right now I’m beyond mad.
“I… I… didn’t know you couldn’t have kids.”
I don’t have to look at her to see the pitiful gaze on her face. I’ve seen it many times before. Doctors, Mom, Alden, it’s always the same.
“Was it because of the chemo?”
“Yes,” I answer. “I rarely have periods. I have to take birth control.”
“But you have them. That could be a good sign.” She sounds more hopeful.
“My tubes are extremely scarred. There’s really no hope.”
She takes my hand in hers. “There’s always hope, Amara.”
“Thanks.” I try to give her a smile, but it falls flat.
“I’ll leave you alone.”
I remain seated on the edge of the bed. I think about my life over the past few years. The fear of my cancer coming back. I try not to dwell on it, but it lays in the back of my mind. I’m twenty-one, and it’s time for me to be on my own. Alden has Baylor and Kace now and doesn’t need me.
I open my bank app and check out my current savings account balance. When I turned eighteen Jack sent me a big, fat check. I never really touched it. But now it could get me an apartment – at least something small.
Nathan: What time are you coming over?
I smile at the screen.
Me: Thank you for flowers and balloons. I’m on my way right now.
Getting out of the house is what I need right now.
Nathan opens the door after one knock. I almost wonder if he’s been on the other side waiting for me to get there.
“Hi.” He smiles.
I could stare at his face all day long. His blue eyes and blond hair are just perfect against his chiseled jaw and high cheekbones. Not to mention his ears. Yes, he has sexy ears.
“Amara, are you okay?”
I jolt from his voice and question. “Yes, well no.”
“Come in. Let’s talk.” He steps to the side and I walk over to the couch and sit down.
The moment he sits next to me I go into telling him about my fight with Alden. I leave out the virgin-no-kids part and my fear of cancer coming back. I already told him I had cancer but didn’t go into great detail.
“I need to find a place of my own. Maybe I can find a roommate?”
“What if you stayed here?”
“What?” Did he really say that? Did I hear him correctly?
“I mean, I have a spare room. Alden already hates me so no big difference there than if you didn’t live here. It’s quiet and you can study. I promise I won’t be a bother.”
My mouth hangs open. “I thought we were…” How does a girl ask a guy if we were going to date without sounding like a desperate tool?
“Don’t take this the wrong way, but we are friends and friends help each other out.” He shyly shrugs. “We can always date later.”
“Really? I mean, really?” I can’t believe his offer. Not just the dating part but moving in as well.
“Sure. I’m not sloppy. Although I could run a Swiffer more often. I don’t take up a lot of bathroom space. I know that’s important to females.”
“Nathan.” I turn fully to him. “Why don’t you think about it? Don’t get me wrong, I love the offer and yes, I do want to date you too. But we’ve only been talking for several months. We don’t know each other all that well.”
He mirrors my pose. “You’re right. However, I consider myself a good judge of character and I trust you.” He moves his hand on top of mine. It’s the first time we’ve truly touched. “Why don’t you think about it while we watch the next Avengers movie? I can redo the room too. It all can be purple.”
This time I do laugh. “I do love purple.”
“Let’s take our minds off reality for a bit.” He reaches for the remote with his free hand and turns on the movie.
For the next couple of hours, I watch the movie but my mind is on this crazy plan. Can I live here? I do trust him. If I moved in what will happen between us. Will we only be friends? Will more happen? Will Alden never speak to me again?
“Can I still think about it?” I ask when the movie ends.
“Of course. It’s an open offer.” He nods. “Take your time.”
I stand. “I’m heading home. Thanks for everything.” I quickly rush to the door.
“Hey.” He reaches for my hand and laces our fingers together. “Are you okay? Did I upset you?”
“No.” I squeeze his hand. “I’m okay. I just need to think.”
“Text me if you need me.”
“I will.”
I drive around for a while. I didn’t go anywhere special, just drove. If I’m going to move in with Nathan, then I need to talk to Alden. Even though we’re both mad at each other, we’re blood. He’s my brother and my best friend.
The house is quiet when I walk in, but the kitchen light is on and I know Alden is on the back porch. I walk out and his back is toward me. I see a beer in his right hand. I move until I’m in front of him.
“May we talk? Civilly.” I figure asking him is better than just blurting out what I have to say.
“Sure.” He scoffs and takes a swig of his beer.
I take the chair across from him. “Alden, you’re my brother and friend. I value your opinion but you have to value mine too.”
He picks at the beer label.
“I’m twenty-one and have been through more in these short years than most people’s lifetime. You know it’s true because you’ve been by my side the entire time.” I’m hoping I can appeal to him in some way. I think it might be working.
“What are you buttering me up for?”
Maybe it’s not helping.
“I want us to go back to normal. I want my big brother back.”
“Then stop talking to Nathan.”
I sigh and fall back further in my chair. “Why? He’s one of your friends. Is he such a bad guy? Is that why you’re adamant about us not being together?”
He rubs his forehead. “He’s not a bad guy, but he’s a hockey player.”
“So? What does his career matter?’
“He’ll be gone a lot.”
“And? Is that what you’re most concerned about?”
“No. With him being gone means he’ll cheat on you.”
I cross my arms and furrow my brow. “Then you’ll cheat on Baylor.”
“What? I’d never cheat on her. I love her. You don’t even know Nathan.”
I shake my head. “You know he’s a good guy. I know he is and I don’t peg him as a cheater. You’re just making excuses.”
Alden says nothing. He chugs his beer and slowly rises to his feet. “I forbid you to see him.
The anger begins to build through my veins. “I’m moving in with him.”