Chapter Seventeen
Amara
I wake up in Nathan’s bed with a big smile on my face. I’m in another shirt of his, and it’s soft. I don’t want to get out of bed, but Nathan isn’t in it. I want to find him.
He’s sitting on the couch with his head in his hands. Today is draft day and I know lots of Bears are nervous about today.
“Good morning.” I greet him happily. After we declared our love – and had great sex – we watched M*A*S*H on TV and then went to bed. It was a perfect night.
“Morning,” he says in a monotone voice.
“It’s going to be okay.”
He nods. “Alden, Baylor, and Kace are coming over. I ordered pizzas.”
“What time is it?”
“Almost two.”
My jaw drops. “Seriously?” I slept over fourteen hours. I don’t think I’ve ever slept that long. Ever.
“I didn’t want to wake you.”
I’m still shocked at the time. I tell him I’ll get ready before everyone comes over. I feel better than yesterday. As I let the warm water in the shower cascade over me, I relive yesterday in my mind. When I woke up to the urge of throwing up, all I thought of was when I was ill before and the fear overwhelmed me. I couldn’t stop the emotions. Soon it consumed me. But Nathan never left me and in the end, he told me he loved me.
My breakdown is almost worth it.
I wear a pair of capris and a simple t-shirt. I pull my hair into a ponytail and opt not to put on my full makeup regimen. I slap on lip gloss and go back out to Nathan. My brother and family are here. Kace runs up to me with his arms wide.
“Are you feeling better, Aunt Amara?”
“Much better.” I kiss the top of his head.
Alden hugs me next but doesn’t say anything. I know he’s still worried. I love him for it. It shows how much he cares.
I grab a couple slices of pizza and sit in between Nathan’s leg on the floor while he’s on the couch eating. He protests because he thinks I should be up next to him, but Kace is next to me and I love hanging out with my nephew.
The PHL network is already talking about who is going where and who could be traded. No one mentions Nathan’s name, but they do say Bas’ name. We all knew it was a possibility. Another name mentioned is Vance Pemberton. I’d hate to see him leave as well, but we know how life in the PHL is.
Everyone is talking about the potential draftees coming up. They all seem talented and eager to get on the ice to prove themselves. As the draft begins, we all watch on pins and needles. Nathan is holding tightly to his phone.
We are all concentrating on the TV that we jump when the door buzzer goes off. Alden jumps up to answer, and it’s Teo.
“Hey, man.” Nathan stands to greet him. Teo looks tired, but his beautiful daughter, Klara, is bouncing in his arms. I go to grab her. I just love this little girl. She’s so full of energy. I put her down, and she’s running all over the place. Baylor gets the diaper bag, and we finally get her to sit on the floor and play with her toys.
“How are you doing?” I hear Alden ask Teo.
“Okay. We just got back yesterday. Thanks for keeping an eye on the house, Nate,” Teo says.
“Not a problem. Where’s Nova?”
He points to the TV. “Oliver really wanted her at the draft.”
“Got any inside information?” Alden inquires.
Teo scoffs. “I wish. Then I wouldn’t be on pins and needles right now.”
Baylor gasps. “You can be traded too?”
“Yes I can.” He nods. “I don’t think I will be, but you never know. Oliver loves his family first and foremost, but he is a businessman. However, Nova’s been running the Bears more and more, so we’ll see.”
The draft begins and one by one the announcer calls the draftees down to meet their new team management staff. Nathan still grips his phone. I go over to him and kiss his cheek. The worry on his face is causing me to feel the same way. This is a serious situation for us all. He seems to relax a bit.
The draft continues and we all play with Klara. She’s a happy one year old and looks exactly like Teo, minus the hair. That’s all Nova.
As the first round comes to a close, the guys seem to be a little bit more relaxed. I’m happy no one has been traded, thus far. I know they didn’t trade anyone last season, and it’s unheard of in the PHL. Players are traded. It’s a fact of life and something all the guys have to face.
As we watch everyone leave, I realize I’m more tired than I thought. I can see Nathan eyeing me to make sure I’m okay. Before I can tell him to stop worrying his phone rings. My heart jumps into my throat. This could be the call letting him know he’s going to be traded.
He answers and immediately he has a perplexed expression on his face. “Who is this?” He listens for a couple more moments and then says, “I’m on my way.” He quickly ends the call. “I have to go to Bas’ place.”
“What’s wrong?”
“Call your brother and have him meet me there.” He heads toward the door, and I follow him.
“I’ll come along.”
He doesn’t argue, and I call Alden and tell him to go to Bas’ right now. Nathan won’t give me any details, and I can’t pass them along. I just tell him to hurry.
Bas doesn’t live far from us and we make it over there quick. There’s a really beautiful female outside – looking panicked.
Nathan jumps out. “Are you Erin?”
“Yes. He’s this way.” She rushes to open the door and races to the emergency staircase. Nathan and I are on his heels. “He passed out as I tried to get him up the stairs.”
We race up about five flights and there is Bas, face first on the stairs. Passed out.
“Bas.” Nathan shakes him. “Wake up.”
Erin keeps brushing Bas’ hair and she looks like she may cry.
“You have the keys, right?” he asks her.
“Yes, I do.”
“I’m going to carry him to his apartment.” Nathan maneuvers around to get Bas over his shoulder. Erin runs in front and I stay behind, keeping my hand on Nathan’s back to make sure he doesn’t tip over. Bas’ arm just hangs and I can see he’s just dead weight for Nathan to carry.
When we walk into his apartment, I’m hit with a stench of body odor and stale alcohol. It makes me gag. It’s horrific.
“I try to come clean up when I can, but I’ve been out of town this week for work.” She explains to me.
“Who are you?” I ask.
“‘I’m Erin Troutt, Bas’ neighbor across the hall. I’ve been keeping an eye on him.”
“I’m Amara Brockman, Nathan’s girlfriend.”
The further we move into the apartment the worse the scene becomes. Not just the smell, but the sea of empty bottles and dirty clothes everywhere.
“How long has this been going on?” Nathan lays Bas on the couch.
“I moved in about a year ago, and the past six months it’s gotten worse. I’ve been trying to help him to stop drinking, but he’s…” She trails off. “He’s having issues.”
Nathan looks sad. “I don’t know what to do.” He stares down at Bas.
My phone dings and it’s Alden letting me know he’s downstairs. Erin volunteers to run down and bring him up. Nathan continues to stare at Bas, and I’m feeling helpless. This place is a disaster.
Alden comes in with Erin and he physically gags. “What the fuck?”
“What are we going to do?” Nathan pleads pointing at Bas on the couch.
My brother’s confused expression matches Nathan’s. “Call Pops. He’ll be the one to talk to.”
“I’m here.” Cabel announces himself walking into Bas’ place. “You should have called me, Erin.”
“I tried. Nathan was the one I thought of next since he and Bas are friends.” She hangs her head.
Cabel’s sandy blond hair is brushed back and his brown eyes seem dull. Cabel is the oldest and longest member on the Bears’ team. I know all the guys look up to him. He’s the father figure on the team.
“Pops, what’s going on?” Alden calls for an explanation.
He walks past him and kneels down to Bas, shaking him. “Wake up, kid. Wake up.”
Bas begins to stir. Moaning and groaning. Erin brings over a bottle of water. Cabel, with the help of Nathan and Alden, get Bas to sit up.
“What happened now?” Cabel asks him still kneeling in front of him.
“Go away.” He pushes Cabel hard almost knocking him off balance.
“Talk to me kid,” he softly says. “You can always talk to me.”
Bas opens his eyes and realizes he’s not alone in the room. He pops up to his feet. “Get out. Everyone get the fuck out.”
“Bas, you need to tell us what’s going on.” Nathan orders. “We’re your friends.”
“You’re not my friends. You’re my teammates. You have your own fucking lives and girlfriends and all that shit, and no one needs me around to mess up their lives. Now get the fuck out of my life,” he yells.
“We’re your friends.” Alden steps up to him. “We want to help you with whatever is going on with you.”
“No one wants to help. I don’t have anyone in my life and I don’t need anyone in my life.” Bas’ voice is getting louder and louder.
“Why doesn’t everyone leave?” Cabel says. “I’ll handle this. I mean it.” His tone is firm and we all listen.
Nathan shuts the door leaving Cabel and Bas inside. “Thanks for calling me, Erin. If anything else happens, please call me. Despite what he says, we are his friends.”
She nods. “I will.”
I’m supposed to be resting, which I have been, but I’m over it. Nathan and I have watched every single movie and TV show I liked until I’m sick of it. For the past five days, we’ve been on the couch. We did have sex one more time, and it was incredible. But he wouldn’t do it anymore until he thought I was better.
Today is Baylor and Alden’s Fourth of July picnic. Everyone is coming and Nathan told me Cabel is forcing Bas to come. Cabel won’t tell us what’s really going on with Bas, but we all know it’s serious. Nathan is very concerned about it. As is Alden.
When we arrive, there are already several people here. I hug Greer and comment on how stunning she is. Her light brown hair is always shining, her makeup perfect. I can’t understand how she’s always so put together with everything she does. She’s literally running a hundred miles a minute but still makes time for everyone else.
Bas is sitting on a chair far away from the crowd drinking a beer. There are several empty bottles around him. Cabel is keeping a close eye on him. In fact, everyone is watching him. I’m worried for him as well. Bas is always the nice guy. It’s not just the English accent that makes him nice, although it’s great to listen to him to talk, but he’s a great guy.
“He won’t talk to anyone but Cabel,” Nathan whispers close to me.
“Do you know what’s going on?”
He shakes his head. “Cabel says he has it handled.”
“It has to be something serious. You see all those bottles, right? This isn’t a small binge he had.” I urge them to listen to me.
“Cabel has it handled and we all trust him.” Alden comes over and tells us softly.
“Okay.” I give in. There’s no reason to argue with them. They’re right. Cabel can handle this. He’s the best for the job.
We enjoy the party and food. Alden and I make plans to go see Aaron this next weekend. He’s doing better and isn’t going to be having any more chemo treatments. At least, for now.
“Hey, can we talk?” Baylor pulls me away from everyone and into the house. We go up to my old room. She appears to be nervous.
“Everything all right?” I ask.
“No.”
I think she may cry. “What is it? What’s wrong?”
“I want to tell you something. But I don’t know how you’ll react and I don’t know if telling you is the right thing to do. I feel like I’m being selfish and I—”
“Baylor.” I take her hands in mine. “Talk to me.”
“I went to the doctor yesterday. I’m pregnant.”
I scream. Literally scream and jump up and down, hugging her. I’m overjoyed, excited, and elated. “Oh my God. Oh my God,” I say over and over.
“You’re happy?”
“What?” I pull back. “Why wouldn’t I be happy? I’m going to have another niece or nephew in there.” I touch her belly. Well, it’s not round… yet.
Her face falls and I realize what she means.
“You didn’t want to tell me because I can’t have kids.” I hug her. “Baylor, this is amazing news for our family. We need to celebrate.”
“But I feel like I’m rubbing it in your face or something?”
“No. No. No.” I make her look at me. “I am still coming to terms with my situation but don’t think for one second I’m not ready to burst with happiness for you and Alden. I love Kace, and I’ll love this baby just as much. We’re family, and we support each other through thick and thin.”
Baylor’s eyes fill with tears. “I’m happy about this.”
“Hell yes. We’re having a baby and she’s going to love purple.”
We both laugh at this silly comment and hug again.
I make her go downstairs, and I jump into Alden’s arms with the same excitement. They even announce it at the party and everyone is as thrilled as I was.
On the way home, I tell Nathan everything I need to buy for my new niece coming.
“They don’t know what they’re having.” He reminds me as we walk into the apartment.
“It’s a girl. I just know it.” He softly chuckles, but I feel there’s something more he wants to say. I can tell. “Nathan, what is it?”
“Just thinking.”
“About what?” I put my arms around his neck. “Tell me all about it before I take you to bed and have my way with you.” I joke trying to get him to smile.
“I was thinking about kids.”
I drop my arms and step back. The sadness on his face tells me everything I need to know. “If you want to end this, I understand.”
‘No.” He grabs my hands. “That’s not what I’m saying. I’m just thinking. I love you. There’s no denying it. You are my world.”
“But are you okay with not having children? I understand how hard this is. Hell, I’m still dealing with it. I think I’ll always be. But you have a choice.” My heart breaks thinking he’ll leave me, but I have to be adult enough to let him go. Kids is a huge issue for everyone.
“I want to have kids with you. There are many options and approaches we can take for this to come true. However, right now I want it to be you and me. I want to take you to Sweden. I want to take you to Paris. I want to take you around the world.”
I smile. “I want that too. How about we’ll cross that bridge when we get there? Deal.”
He kisses me. “Deal.”
After we’re both breathless, he heads down the hall to the bedroom. I grab a bottle of water and check my phone. I’ve not really checked my email lately and suddenly all the air leaves the room.
My test results are in for my nurse’s test.
This is it.
I don’t know if I want to open it or not. I love my job with Baylor, but this is my dream. I want to help people who are sick and dying. I had many great nurses in my lifetime, and I want to impact someone’s life like they did mine.
“Amara, you look pale. Are you sick?” Nathan rushes over to me.
“No. Look.” I turn my phone around and show him.
“Did you pass?”
“I’ve not opened it yet. I’m scared.” I can confess my fears to him because he understands me. He loves me.
“Do you want to do it together?’
I nod. I think it’ll help if Nathan sees it with me for the first time. I log into the site and hold my breath as it loads. It seems to take forever, but Nathan is right there looking over my shoulder with me.
I gasp as I see it.
“Is that good?” he asks.
I turn around and the tears build up. “I passed.”
He whooped in excitement and picks me up, spinning me around. “This is wonderful. I’m so happy for you. I knew you could do it.”
“I’m a nurse, Nathan. I did it.”
He puts me down on my feet and kisses me. “I never doubted it.”
“Thank you for all the support. I love you.”
“No, I love you.”
When our lips touch I can feel all of his love and care for me. Our future is going to be long and bright.
Together.