Chapter Fourteen
Nathan
I watch the twins pick at their breakfast, instead of eating it. They look as sad as I feel. I hate they’re leaving because I won’t see them for months.
My plan last night had been to make out with Amara more, but instead, I fell asleep – like some dork. She must have woken up early to fix this spread of breakfast. However, none of us are touching it.
Buzz. Buzz.
“It’s Dad.” I stand up and head over to the intercom to let them in.
Dad and Marie greet me with hugs and do the same for Amara. Drew and Copper go and get their bags in a zombie-like motion.
“Did you two have fun?” Marie beams.
They nod but keep their heads hanging.
“Hey.” I kneel down to them. “It’s going to be okay. I’ll see you guys soon.”
Copper has tears rolling down his cheeks and Drews are close to falling as well.
“Give me hugs.” I hold out my arms and wrap them around both of them. “I love you both.”
They mumble their love back and I let them go. They hug Amara next and she tells them how much fun she had with them.
“They’ll come back soon.” Marie tells me. I know she’s being nice because their hockey camp will take up the next several weeks.
I simply nod, embrace my brothers again and watch my family leave my apartment. My tears are right on the surface and close to the edge. Amara comes up behind me, resting her forehead on the middle of my back. I rub my hands over her arms.
“I hate I have to go to work.” She mutters.
“It’s okay. Bas and I are going to workout. Then I’m going to head over and check Teo’s and Nova’s house.”
“How’s Teo?”
I turn and face her. “He texted me yesterday. He said the funeral was nice, but he’s not sure when they’ll return home.”
“That’s understandable.” She leans up and softly kisses me. “I need to go or I’ll be late.”
“It’s fine,” I say giving her a reassuring smile.
“Is it too soon to ask for a date tonight?” There’s apprehension in her question.
“No.” My smile widens. “I was hoping to take you to dinner tonight.”
“I’d love to.”
This time I kiss her. It’s comfortable with her. It feels right. She belongs in my arms with our lips together. I don’t want it to end.
“I have to go.” She pulls away breathless.
“I’ll see you tonight.”
Her face lights up as she grabs her items and heads out the door. I have to make tonight special for her – and I will.
I sit outside of Bas’ apartment for a moment waiting for him to come down. I think about tonight with Amara. I want to take her out but where? Everyone goes to restaurants and such, but is it special enough for her?
“Hey.” Bas breaks into my thoughts as he gets in the car.
“Bro.” I scrunch my nose. “You’ve got to stop with the vodka. How much are you drinking at night?”
“Sorry.” He grabs candy from his gym bag.
“Seriously are you okay?” I look him over. He seems to be exhausted. Almost as if he’s not sleeping at all.
“Yeah, I’m fine.” He waves his hand and pops the candy in his mouth.
“I’m going to stop at Teo’s and check on the place.”
“No problem.” He nods.
I head over there first. I put the mail on the table and double check to make sure everything is locked tight.
We hit the gym and for the next three hours we do cardio. I hate running but the elliptical makes it a little easier. Not much but a little.
“I think I’m going to chunder.” Bas moans as we slowly make our way to the locker room.
“My legs are like wet, broken noodles.” I fall onto the bench. “If I lay down, I may not ever get up.”
“Agree. I’m going to hit the shower.” Bas heads down to the showers and I do the same.
I spend a couple of extra minutes under the hot spray before reaching for my towel and going back out to the lockers. As I turn the corner, I see Bas chugging a mini bottle of vodka. I stand there for a moment as I watch him stuff the empty bottle back into his bag and shove several mints into his mouth.
“Are you all right?” I ask him. It’s the dumbest question I could have ever asked, but it’s the only thing I can say.
“Sure am.” He grins and begins to get dressed.
I should say something to him, right? Why is he drinking in the middle of the gym’s locker room? Does he do this often? I know he smells like vodka a lot, but it’s because he likes to party. Right?
“Nate?” He snaps his fingers in front of my face.
“Yes. What?”
“Are you sure you’re okay?”
“I’m fine.” I turn and quickly get dressed.
Bas talks on and on about his brothers, Bax and Beck. We all know he’s part of triplets and was raised by his grandparents after his parents died in a freak skiing accident. It’s a story told on his draft day. The PHL did a whole story on him.
After I drop him off, I drive to Alden’s. He’ll know what to do about Bas. He’s been around a lot more than me, and I’m sure he’s been in this situation.
I ring his doorbell and luckily he answers.
“Hey, Nate, what’s up?”
“Got a minute?”
“Come in.” He steps to the side.
“Privately,” I softly say seeing Kace running over to me. “Hey, Buddy.” I greet him as he hugs my waist.
“Did your brothers go home?”
“Yes, they left this morning.” I tell him sadly.
“I hope they come back soon,” he says.
“Buddy.” Alden cuts him off. “Nate and I have to talk. Go play for a minute.” He tells him.
“Don’t leave without saying goodbye.” Kace informs me as he runs off.
“What’s up?” he asks making his way toward the kitchen.
“Have you happened to notice anything… strange… with Bas?” I take a seat at the breakfast bar.
“What do you mean?” He leans against the counter across from me.
“His drinking. Have you noticed how much he drinks?”
“He’s from England. Don’t they drink at twelve?”
“Hey.” I accost. “That’s mean.”
“No, it’s not. All Europeans like to drink.”
“Shut up. I’m from the same continent and don’t drink half as much as he does.”
Alden shrugs. “It’s the offseason and he’s probably homesick. I wouldn’t think anything of it.”
“I guess you’re right.” I try not to think too much of it because Bas is homesick. He’s even told me. I guess everyone deals with stress in their own way.
“What else is on your mind?” He pulls out a couple of bottles of water from the fridge.
“Well…” I hesitate for a beat. “I’m supposed to take out this amazing girl tonight for our first proper date, and I’m not sure where to take her to make it special.”
Alden rolls his eyes. “Come on, really.”
I grin. “Who else should I get advice from? You’re the only man who’s bedded almost all the women in the Western Hemisphere.” I joke.
“I think you’re fine without my advice, and I won’t be giving any to bed my sister.”
“I’m not sure. This is our first date out in public. I want to do something memorable. Can’t you give me something?” I pick at the label on the water bottle.
He groans as he takes a drink from his bottle. “What did you have planned?”
“Nothing. Just dinner. I guess we could go to the steakhouse or somewhere.”
“And?”
“And what?”
He shakes his head. “No wonder you’re still a virgin.”
“Hey.” I shot. “I have feelings, you ass.”
He laughs. “Look Amara is really into those romantic movies. She loves flowers, a guy who opens doors for her and pulls out her chair, shit like that.”
“I’ve already done all of those.”
“So, I would suggest a candlelit dinner, a super sappy love story and a hardy handshake at the end of the night.”
This time I roll my eyes. “You know we kiss.”
“Yes, I was prone to the noises the other day in my upstairs bathroom.” His phone dings and I’m still chuckling as he checks it. “Fuck.” He growls.
“What’s wrong?”
“Kace!” he yells before pointing at me. “You’re coming with us. I may need bail money.”
“What’s going on?” I’m standing now, and I can feel in my bones it has something to do with Amara.
“What’s up, Dad?” Kace comes running in.
“We have to go. Get in the car.”
Kace runs out the back door and Alden follows.
“Hey.” I grab his arm. “What is it?”
“Jack’s at the tattoo shop.”
My heart drops. I know Amara is strong but seeing her father again might turn into a massive yelling match. “Let’s go.”
We don’t speak during the drive. Although there wasn’t much time since Alden drove like a Formula One driver on his last lap chasing the checkered flag.
We make it in record time to the tattoo shop.
The car is barely in park when he and I jump from our seats with Kace right behind us. Baylor is at the door waiting for us.
“Where is he?” Alden is fuming with anger, and I’m feeling concern for Amara. But I don’t see her.
“Listen to me, remain calm.” Baylor softly commands.
“No. He comes in here to corner my sister—”
“Alden, shut up.” She cuts him off. “There’s more to—”
“Alden.”
We all turn to see Amara coming out of the hallway. She’s with a tall man, who clearly is their father. She’s holding the hand of a small child.
We all freeze.
The child is maybe six or seven with milky white skin, bald, and wearing a surgical mask. The deep bluish-purple color around his eyes says it all. This child has cancer.
“Alden, this is our brother Aaron.” Amara introduces him.
I glance at Alden to see what he’s going to do. He’s never been cruel to children. In fact, he’s great with kids. Right now, he’s battling with yelling at his father and talking to Aaron.
Slowly he goes forward and kneels down to the child, holding out his large hand. “Hi, Aaron, I’m Alden.”
His eyes crinkle from the hidden smile. “Hi.” He shakes his hand.
Kace comes bounding over and holds out his hand. “Hello, Aaron. I’m Kace.”
“Hi.” They shake hands.
“Kace, why don’t you and Aaron go have a seat?” Baylor directs them over to the couches.
The second they’re out of earshot Alden rises to his feet and glares at his father. “What the hell kind of shit are you pulling?”
“He wanted to meet us.” Amara jumps in. “He’s sick. We can be nice for one night.” She reasons with him.
“You could have at least told us.” He grits.
“The last time the three of us were in a room, you both were yelling at me,” their father says.
“Dad! Dad!” Kace comes running over to us. “Aaron’s never been to Chuck E. Cheese. Can we all go? Please.”
Alden looks at everyone before he gives in. Kace goes back to Aaron to tell him.
“This doesn’t have anything to do with you.” He glares at his father.
“Come on. Let’s go.” Amara moves between them.
He doesn’t break eye contact for several seconds but finally turns away and heads outside.
“Are you all right?” I take Amara’s hand in mine.
“Yes.” She seems rattled. “Jack, this is Nathan.” She introduces us.
“Jack.” I curtly nod to him and turn my attention back to her. “Are you sure?”
“I am. Let’s go give Aaron a good dinner.” She gives me a smile and squeezes my hand.
We rode over in Amara’s car and she says nothing on the way. When we arrive at the restaurant, Alden has the same pained expression on his face as she does. On the other hand, Aaron’s eyes are glowing. He has the same dark shade as his siblings. He takes both of their hands as we all walk in. For a late Saturday afternoon, it’s crowded and loud. Kids are running everywhere, but everyone seems to be having fun.
Once we find a table, Aaron asks Alden to play with him and Kace. He goes without question. Baylor tries to strike up a conversation with Jack. I learned Aaron is eight and has the same type of cancer Amara had. He’s been battling for the past year but the doctors seem hopeful. My hand is on her thigh. I know it’s intimate, but it seems to be bringing her some comfort. However, she’s not talking. She’s only stirring her drink with a straw.
When the pizza comes, so do Alden, Aaron, and Kace. Aaron takes off his mask so he can eat. Alden doesn’t seem as upset as when we arrived. We eat, mainly in silence. There’s a lot of tension around the table.
“I’ll be back.” Alden stands and heads out the door.
“Excuse me.” Jack follows him.
“This isn’t good.” Amara gets up and shadows Jack.
Baylor keeps Aaron and Kace’s attention, but I’m staring at the door. My gut tells me I should stay and let them work out their personal issues. However, my protective side needs to be next to Amara and I go outside.
I find her at the corner of the building. Alone. “Are you—”
She whips around and shushes me.
I get closer and realize she’s eavesdropping on Alden and Jack.
“You’re nothing but an asshole.” I can hear Alden clearly.
“Yes. I know I am, but Aaron wanted to meet you.”
“You could have told us.”
“Impossible to tell you when you won’t speak to me.”
“Sorry, Dad. Amara and I are so selfish not to want to talk to the man who walked out on us,” he says sarcastically. “Do you even comprehend how much we hate you? How badly you hurt us?”
Jack says nothing.
“I was twelve. A twelve year old boy who was petrified his sister was going to die and felt like scum when I wanted to play hockey instead of helping her. But you know what I did? I was the responsible one. I held her hand. I cleaned up her vomit. I wiped her bloody noses. I was there for her. Unlike you.”
Again, Jack doesn’t respond.
Amara bolts around the corner and I follow her. “Why did you leave us?” Her question comes out rushed.
Jack hangs his head not answering.
“If you haven’t noticed, Dad, we’re adults and we can handle whatever story you come up with.” Alden sneers at him.
He lifts his head. “Because I’m a coward.”
I don’t think anyone had been prepared for the truthful answer.
“I was thirty-four, had a good career, and I thought my life was perfect. When the doctor told us of your illness, my life changed.”
“All of ours did.” Alden comments and Amara puts her hand on his shoulder.
“I’m not strong like Elizabeth or you two. I was scared, and I left. I know you won’t believe me when I say I thought of you both all the time, but I did. When Lesa, my new wife, and I got together and had Aaron, I knew it was too late to come back into your lives, but he was my second chance.”
“And he got sick.” Amara states.
“I wanted to run again, but this time something else happened. I didn’t want to leave. In some way, I wasn’t the same coward as before.” He trails off. “I’m sorry. I know I can never make up for what I did, but I’m truly sorry.”
“I can never accept your apology.” Alden starts. “I’m twenty-five and if something happened to Baylor or Kace, I’d never leave them. Age has nothing to do with it. You’re not a man. You wanted a cushioned life and when the first bump in the road came you bolted like a pussy.”
“You’re right. Again, I’m sorry. Even if you don’t accept it.”
“I hate you. I hate the fact I idolized you and wanted to be like you. I hate that you left and I had to pick up the slack. I hate that you have a new son whom you love more than me. And I hate the fact I feel all of this because you’re not worth my damn time.”
The tears roll down his cheeks and Amara is holding tightly to his arm, holding him back from Jack. I feel horrible being a bystander to this family conflict, but I want to make sure they’re both okay.
I turn when I hear laughter. Baylor’s coming out with the kids. I step up to the three of them. “I know this isn’t the best time, but Baylor is coming with the boys.”
Alden wipes his face and Amara does as well. I didn’t even notice her tears.
“Dad!”
“Dad!”
Kace and Aaron go to their respective fathers and hug them.
“Did you two have fun?” Alden’s upbeat personality appears. The boys go on and on about the games and food.
“Aaron, I think it’s time for us to go,” Jack says.
Amara kneels down to her little brother and hugs him. “It was great to meet you.”
“Me too. I love you, sister.” He holds tightly to her neck.
“Me too.” She smiles and releases him.
Alden does the same thing. Aaron beams.
“Will I see you soon?” he asks.
“We’ll see you soon.” Alden tells him.
We all watch Jack and Aaron walk to their car. Once they’re gone Kace asks Alden if he’s okay.
“I am.”
“You look sad, Dad.”
“I’m okay now. Let’s head home.” He hugs Amara, shakes my hand and then leads Baylor and Kace away.
I put my arm around her shoulder. “You look like you need a drink.”
She nods. “I really do.”
“May I make a suggestion?”
“What?”
“Let’s hit the sports bar, watch the Cats baseball game, and drink and eat bar food.” I know she didn’t touch her pizza.
“Sounds like the best plan I’ve heard all day.” She pushes her fingers through her hair.
“You look tired. Do you want to go another time?”
“No.” She smiles. “This sounds perfect right now.”
“Come on.” I lead her to the car and drive to Billy’s Sports Bar.
We walk hand in hand and find a table, and I pull out the chair for her. The waitress comes over and Amara asks me to order.
“Okay.” I smirk. “We’ll have a pitcher of light beer, a large order of mild, boneless wings, a large order of fried cheese sticks, and lots of ranch dressing.” I glance at her for confirmation. “Sound good?”
“A deluxe order of nachos. Lots of cheese and sour cream.” She adds.
The waitress nods and leaves us. We both watch the baseball game for a few moments.
“I was mad when Jack walked in.” She sighs. “Then I felt like shit after seeing Aaron. He reminded me of… well… me.”
I squeeze her hand. The waitress brings our beer. I pour a glass for Amara first then me.
“I remember looking that sickly but trying to act like I wasn’t at all.”
My heart twists thinking of her pain. Mom had been the same way.
“I couldn’t yell at Jack in front of Aaron. Even though I should, I kept my mouth shut.”
“He seems like a good kid.” I comment.
“He does.” She agrees. “And I will see him again. I can’t punish him for Jack’s wrongdoings. He’s my brother.”
“That’s smart. Aaron already looks up to you and Alden.” I observed it while eating pizza.
“I know.”
“Jack said his cancer was a low stage and doctors are hopeful for him to go into remission.”
“I hope so.”
The waitress brings our nachos first.
“Sorry about our date.” Amara apologizes.
“This isn’t too bad.” I grin. “We seem to be an unconventional couple.” I take a bite of the cheesy chip.
“Are we?”
“Are we what?”
“A couple?” She stares intently at me for an answer.
“It’s true I’m not a fan of labeling every aspect of my life. However, I’m not seeing anyone and I hope you’re not. Therefore, I think of us as a couple.”
She pops a chip in her mouth and mulls over what I said. I can see she’s wanting to say something.
“What is it, Amara? You can say anything to me.” I reassure her.
“Have you been a couple before?” She bites down on her bottom lip, waiting for my answer.
“No. I’ve never had a girlfriend. You know this.”
“I do. I guess I wanted to hear it again.” She gives me her signature small smile.
“Have you been a couple?”
She giggles. “No. Just with you.” After a bit, she sits up taller. “New topic. Something fun.”
“Okay, what is it?”
“I bought you a gift.”
I furrow my brow. “You did? What could you have possibly gotten me?”
“Well,” she digs around her purse, “you may hate it, but I’d like to go with you.”
“I doubt it, but what is it and where?”
“Okay.” She has a white envelope in her hands. “I would like to say, I want to dress up if you decide to take me.”
“Why wouldn’t I?” This is becoming the strangest conversation I’ve ever had.
“Just look.” She slides the envelope over to me.
I pick it up and inside are two tickets to the Boston Comic Con in August. There’s also VIP passes to see all the exhibits.
“And this is a bonus gift.” She hands me another two tickets.
I almost fell out of my chair. “Breakfast with Stan Lee.”
“He’s one of the special guests.”
Holding the tickets in each hand I couldn’t believe she gave me such a thoughtful and amazing gift.
During my stare down with the tickets, the waitress brings the rest of our food. “Amara, this is the most thoughtful gift.” I put everything back into the envelope. I hand them back to her because I don’t have anywhere to put them.
“I hope you do go with me,” I say picking up a wing.
“I’d love to.”
“You said something about dressing up.”
Her cheeks turn a soft shade of pink. “Today, before all the Jack shit went down, I thought about the Con.”
“What do you want to dress up as?” Suddenly my interest is piqued.
“Wonder Woman.” There’s a deep hesitation in her voice.
“You’d make a stunning Wonder Woman.”
“Then you can help me get a costume?”
“Yes. Sam, at the comic book store, helped get all mine.”
“Wait.” She finishes chewing. “You have costumes already?”
I nod. “Lots.”
“Lots?”
Normally, when I tell others about me dressing up, I get the look. It reeks of sadness for me thinking I’m a loser who lives with my parents, mixed with confusion on why I’m dressing up. Also, a huge turn off for women. However, Amara is beaming.
“Can I see them?”
“You want to see my costume closet?”
“Hold up.” She wipes her hands on the napkin. “You have a costume closet?”
“I do.” I’m waiting for her to run away from my nerdiness.
“You have to show me when we get home.” Her smile grows bigger.
“I’ll show you.”
She leans her chin on the heel of her palm and through her eyelashes she flirts. “Will you dress up for me?”
I laugh a bit louder than I mean to.
“What?” She’s laughing as well.
“Usually when I tell people about my costumes they make fun of me. No one has asked me to dress up for them.”
“I’m not everyone.” She sips her beer.
“If you go as Wonder Woman, I’ll go as Batman.”
She lights up. “Really? I bet you look like Christian Bale.”
We laugh at the thought and continue to eat. We talk about the Cons I’ve been to before. Amara tells me of the few book conventions she’s attended. We watch the end of the Cats game, and I order another pitcher of beer. We go into a conversation about growing up in Sweden and my hockey career. I know she’s still nervous about her RN test, but she definitely loves her job at Baylor’s tattoo parlor.
I summon an Uber since we did drink a lot. We’ll come back tomorrow to get her car and mine at Aldens. Amara leans on me as we head into the apartment. She’s giggling for no reason and it makes me laugh.
As we make our way inside, the sexual tension builds between us. It’s almost electric. The second I turn the lock to shut us in, I practically jump on her.
I really need to get my hormones in check.
Our lips crash into each other. When she opens her mouth, I can taste the spice of the wings with a mix of the beer as our tongues battle. I push her against the wall, grab her thighs and lift her up. I’m hard. Harder than a frozen rock in the tundra. I may even rip through my jeans.
Still holding her, I make our way to the couch. She tosses her purse on the floor and makes a loud umph when I drop her on the couch. I could have done it more gently, but I don’t give it a second thought, and I cover her body with mine. Her hips rise up, and I grind harder into her. She moans in my mouth, and I break from her lips kissing down her neck and burying my face in her cleavage.
“Nathan. Nathan. Stop.”
I hear the words, but I make my way back up to her mouth. She turns away.
“Stop.”
The firmness in her tone makes me move off her and all the way down the couch. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I wasn’t thinking.”
I’m a gigantic asshole. I heard her say stop and continued to kiss her. What was I thinking?
“It’s okay. I’m not upset.” She scrambles up to her knees and over to me.
“You said stop and I didn’t do it.” I shake my head.
“Hey.” She forces me to look at her. “You weren’t doing anything I didn’t want you to do.”
“Then why did we stop?”
“Because, for one, I don’t want either of us to lose our virginities on the couch and for two, we had a lot to drink. We should be sober.”
I scrub my face. “You’re right. I got carried away.”
“Me too.” She admits, cuddling up to me. We stay in this position for several minutes. “Hey,” she sits up, “come to bed with me.”
I scoff. “We just had this conversation.”
“No, not for sex. Just lay with me.”
I smile at the idea. “I’d like that.”
Together we make our way to her room. She curls up on her side and I mirror her. This is what I want every night.