CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
Jacqueline
I watched Ryan storm out of the room with rage boiling in my veins. Part of me wanted to go after him, but I knew I was needed here more. My parents didn’t know anything. They didn’t know the truth about what happened on that night nine years ago.
As I looked between them, I saw the anger in their faces, and it fueled my desire to finally tell them everything. I glanced at my brother who was staring at the doorway, having watched Ryan disappear. He looked conflicted and hurt, like he didn’t quite know what to do. In that moment, I knew I was the only person who could fix this.
“It wasn’t Ryan,” I said simply. My parents looked at me, confused. “That night, it wasn’t him, okay? It was me.”
“What was you?” Mom asked. “What are you talking about?”
“The night Dad’s truck caught fire,” I continued. “I was playing around, trying to figure out how the engine worked. Dad kept telling me he would teach me about it, but he never did. So, I was angry and decided to teach myself. But I must have messed something up, because when I turned the key, the hood went up in flames.”
“You’re lying,” Dad said firmly, shaking his head and getting to his feet. He paced around the room, still shaking his head. “You’re just trying to cover for him.”
“If I was, would it have taken me this long to do it?” I snapped. “I was scared to death of what you might do when you found out what I did. I ran to the backyard, sobbing, and just waiting for you to find me. But you didn’t. Ryan did. He saw the truck and put the fire out. Then he found me hiding in the backyard.”
“I can’t believe this,” Bradley said softly.
“I didn’t know what to do,” I continued. “I was so young and so scared. Ryan was just trying to help me. He told me he’d already been in a lot of trouble, so this would be nothing. He said I didn’t need to worry about anything, that it would be okay. The next thing I knew, you were both screaming at him in the living room, and he was packing a bag. He left, and I didn’t see him again. Until now.”
“Why didn’t you ever tell me this?” Bradley demanded. “I spent all this time thinking Ryan …”
“Would it have changed anything?” I asked. “Would you have felt differently about him? Or me?”
“No, but still,” he said.
“I was scared, okay?” I said. “God, I was only fourteen. I didn’t know what to do. I never expected either of you to kick him out! After you did, I was scared to tell the truth because I didn’t want you to make me leave too.”
“We would never do that,” Mom said softly.
“But you did it with Ryan?” I snapped. “He was supposed to be your son, just like I’m your daughter.”
“It was different!” Dad said. “Ryan was always in trouble. You don’t know half of what he put us through. He lied and he stole. He was arrested three times while he lived here! What were we supposed to do?”
“Love him,” I said simply. “You were supposed to love him, just like you love us. He expected you to stand by him because you were his parents. Instead, you just turned your back on him. God, he didn’t deserve that!”
“It wouldn’t have happened if you’d just told the truth!” Dad yelled.
“So, you abandoning Ryan was my fault?” I asked with raised eyebrows. “Come on, Dad. If you hadn’t thrown him out because of the truck, it would have been something else. You don’t know how to forgive anything.”
“That’s not true, we just—” Mom began, but I cut her off with a look.
“I know I messed up,” I said. “I shouldn’t have let Ryan take the fall for me, okay? I know that. But at the time, I was just a kid. I could barely move after it happened, let alone talk. You have no idea how much I wish I would have told you everything years ago.”
“But you didn’t,” Dad said. “You didn’t.”
I shook my head. “No, I didn’t, and Ryan took the brunt of that choice. It kills me every day that I put him through that. You don’t know how much I hate myself for hurting him.”
“It’s not your fault,” Bradley said softly. “No matter what, they shouldn’t have kicked him out.”
“No,” I agreed. “They shouldn’t have.”
“You both judge us so harshly, but you don’t know,” Mom said. “You don’t know the kind of person he was!”
“I know him better than anyone,” I snapped. “I know exactly who he was back then, and I know him now. I know Ryan better than any of you. He and I … we—”
I stopped, suddenly aware of what I was about to say. Looking at Bradley’s face, I knew it was time to tell the truth about everything. They might not understand. They may never be okay with our relationship, but they needed to know.
“Ryan and I are together,” I said boldly. “He’s never been a brother to me, not really. Just like he was never a son to you. When we reconnected, something just clicked. We fell into a relationship so easily. We fit.”
“What?” Bradley asked. “Is this a joke?”
“No,” I said. “I love him. I’m in love with him.”
“You can’t be,” Mom began.
“I can, and I am,” I snapped. “Neither you nor Dad get to have an opinion about this. You kicked him out long before we could become brother and sister. We don’t have that bond, that connection. The connection we do have is so much more. It’s deep and it matters. He matters. If you can’t see that … if you can’t realize how wrong you’ve been, then there’s nothing left for me to say.”
I turned to leave and stopped in my tracks. Ryan was standing in the doorway, staring at me with wide eyes. I looked at him for a second before walking forward. He took my hand and led me outside. We didn’t stop walking until we reached his truck. Climbing inside, we took off down the road, neither of us speaking.
When Ryan finally turned to me, his eyes were dark with concern. He searched my face quickly before looking back at the road.
“I can’t believe you told them,” he said softly.
“Do you wish I hadn’t?” I asked.
“No.” He shook his head. “I wanted to tell them the second we walked into that house.”
“I didn’t,” I admitted. “I was so scared of what they might do.”
“What changed?” he asked.
“The way they spoke to you,” I said with anger. “I couldn’t sit there and listen to it anymore. They don’t know you, Ryan. They obviously never did. You’re amazing and kind and smart and gentle. I don’t care what mistakes you made in the past. That’s not who you are.”
“I know,” he said, smiling. “I’m just glad you see it.”
“I do,” I said with earnest. “It’s my fault they kicked you out. I never should have let you take the fall.”
“You didn’t have a choice,” he said firmly. “Jacqueline, you were a kid. God, you were only fourteen. I wasn’t going to let you go down for that. There was no way.”
“It wasn’t fair,” I argued. “I shouldn’t have.”
“Stop,” he said. “Just stop.”
We fell silent again, and Ryan reached for my hand. We locked our fingers together and both stared out the windshield, just working through all the emotions we felt.
“Did you mean what you said?” Ryan asked so softly that I barely heard him.
“What?” I asked.
“What you said in there,” he said. “To your parents and Brad. Did you mean it?”
I smiled and squeezed his hand.
“I love you,” I said. “Of course, I meant it.”
“I love you too,” he said, glancing at me with a grin.
I laughed. “I know. You told me last night.”
“What?” he asked with a frown.
“You were like half asleep,” I explained. “Or maybe completely asleep. I don’t know. You just whispered that you loved me and then started to snore.”
He laughed. “Well, that’s romantic.”
“It actually was,” I said. “I didn’t know what to say at the time. I wasn’t sure how I felt, but then tonight I just knew. When my parents were going off on you like that, I felt this sudden urge to protect you. That’s when I realized just how much I care for you, just how much I love you.”
Ryan sighed and brought our hands to his lips. He kissed my hand and smiled, looking happier than he’d been all night.