Chapter 6
Lindsey
I needed to get my head in the game. Or the meet. Same thing. I couldn’t get Tanner’s voice out of my head. I knew he had been drunk—no, wasted—last night. Had he meant what he said? Weren’t the ramblings of a drunk man the truth that was always carefully hidden but allowed out with a little liquid courage? My dad always said you could trust the ramblings of a drunk.
I couldn’t get his voice out of my head. The way he confessed to having the hots for me for the past seven years. I loved hearing it. It made me feel beautiful and sexy. I told him I had been crushing on him for years, but he never paid me any attention. He laughed and said Brian would kill us both if he knew we were even talking about anything other than swimming.
“Hello?” Brittany hissed.
I snapped myself out of my daydream. “What?” I whispered back.
We were sitting in the back of the classroom, but this particular professor could be awfully cranky. I only had another year of school and wasn’t going to risk earning a reputation as a slacker who wasn’t serious. Too many athletes at this school skated by on their talents alone and not their brains. I wasn’t going to be one of them.
“You have been all googly-eyed. What or who did you do?” she asked, knowing me too well.
I shrugged. “Nothing. No one,” I lied.
Tanner had turned my brain into mush. One quickie in the pool and his drunken ramblings about him wanting me since my breasts had started to develop, and I was just like the rest of the groupies lusting after him. He had said things were different now. Back then he couldn’t make a move. It would have been inappropriate and illegal, but now he wanted me. It had been like one of those fantasies coming true for me. What high school girl didn’t dream about some older, very hot and sexy guy? She was lucky enough to get the chance to make that fantasy come true.
“You’re full of shit.” Brittany glared at me, one of her perfectly sculpted brows with expertly applied highlighter raised. “Don’t lie to me. I have known you since forever, and I know when you’re full of shit. You’re full of shit!”
I grinned, not the least bit offended by her words. “Maybe.”
She flipped her hair, glared at me, and spun back around to face the professor. I knew most people thought she was a stuck-up bitch. She was, but she was also my best friend. We’d been together since preschool. She had followed me to San Diego State, even though she’d been accepted to Yale. There was no way she was going to move that far away from her best friend. I loved her and never doubted she had my back.
She leaned toward me. “You will tell me.”
I giggled. “Maybe.”
I was dreading the training with Tanner tonight, but one part of me was looking forward to seeing him. My Tanner fix had to happen now because I wouldn’t get to see him tomorrow. I had the meet in the morning and wouldn’t be training again until Monday.
The day dragged on. Practice was the same old shit, my coach lecturing me about not giving it my all. He was probably right. I could do better, but my head wasn’t in it. It was on Tanner and training for the Olympics.
“You’re definitely preoccupied. I know you have training, but we have got to catch up,” Brittany said, toweling off beside me.
“You’re right. Are you training tonight?”
She sighed. “Yes. My trainer said if I skipped another lesson, he would drop me.”
I laughed but then got serious. “You better get your ass in gear.”
“Ugh, I am so not into it like you. I don’t know how you can train six days a week. I love swimming, and I really hope I make the Olympic team, but I cannot devote that much time to training. It shouldn’t be so hard,” she whined.
“It’s supposed to be hard. If it was easy, everyone would do it,” I reminded her.
“Whatever. Maybe I should see if Tanner will train me,” she mused out loud.
“No! He can’t. I mean, he’s booked solid.”
She looked at me, suspicion in her eyes. “I know, but he’s training you.”
“Only because of his friendship with Brian.”
Brittany didn’t look convinced, but she let it go.
“I gotta go,” I told her, picking up my bag before turning to wave.
When I reached the high school, I saw Tanner’s truck in the parking lot. I took a deep breath. “Here goes nothing,” I moaned.
“Hey,” he said, walking toward me in his typical attire of a T-shirt and board shorts with loafers.
“Hi.” I smiled, wondering if he was going to mention our conversation last night.
“Um,” he said, suddenly looking very uncomfortable. “I, uh, well, can you tell me what all we talked about last night? You could probably tell I was a little drunk. I guess a lot drunk because I don’t remember a word.”
I wasn’t sure if that was a good thing or a bad thing.
He grabbed my hand, something he had done a hundred times before, but now it was different. He led me to the bleachers, sat down, and tugged me down with him.
“Just tell me. I can handle it,” he said.
I laughed. It figured he would pour his heart out and not remember it.
“You told me I was the best lay you ever had. Is that true?” I was a little embarrassed to ask but really wanted to know.
He slapped his open palm to his forehead. “Fuck.”
“Oh yeah, you said that a lot too. Something along the lines of ‘fuck Brian; I’ll fuck you if I want to’ was mentioned more than once. You talked about not wanting to ruin your friendship with Brian by sleeping with me. I’m guessing it was that bros-before-hoes thing.”
“Oh shit.”
“Tanner, you do realize I’m not a little girl anymore, right?”
“I know that, but you’re still Brian’s little sister. I mean, yeah, I did start to notice you, but it isn’t right. You’re too young for me.”
“So you didn’t mean what you said?” I asked.
“Fuck me. I am so sorry, Lindsey. I don’t know what I was saying. No, we can’t. I mean, I can’t do that. You can’t. Oh my God, please, forgive me.”
I laughed, “It’s okay. Really. So? Any of it ringing a bell?”
He shook his head. “No. I’m sorry, Lindsey. That wasn’t cool.”
I could tell he was embarrassed. He didn’t need to be. I had been a willing participant in the pool that night and had secretly hoped he would be willing to do it again.
“Well? Is it true?”
“Is what true? What else did I say?” he asked, horror on his face.
It was my turn to be embarrassed, but then I felt emboldened, “Am I the best lay you’ve ever had?” I asked in what I hoped was a sultry voice.
He leaned forward. I could feel the heat from his body. He held my gaze. “Yes.”
I could feel the blush spreading from my neck up and all over my body. It was a slow heat, much like that night in the pool.
Did I say thank you?
He put a hand on my knee. “We good?”
“Yes!” I said, jumping up so fast I nearly knocked him off the bleachers.
I stripped and dove in the pool, wanting to put a little distance between us, and cooling off in the lukewarm water would also be a very good idea.
“You ready?” he asked, after I did a couple of laps.
I raised my hand and gave him the thumbs up. “Let’s do this. We have to make it count. Two days off is a lot.”
“Prepare to get your ass kicked,” he said, diving right into the training.
The training was grueling, but it felt good. There was none of that weirdness between us, and I was looking forward to training with him. He was exactly what I needed. He could get me that medal I had been striving toward for so long.
He walked me to the car. “How you feeling about tomorrow’s meet?”
“Good. We have the better team. I’m not too worried about it. My coach is, but he always is.”
“You’re going to kick ass. It’s good practice for you. Get you in the competition mode. I think I’ll come and watch. It’ll give me a good idea of what needs to improve or change to get you into the qualifying round for the Olympics.”
My stomach flip-flopped a bit at the thought of him watching me compete. It shouldn’t. He’d seen me compete before. Hell, he’d seen me naked.
“Thanks, that would be great. Well, I need to get going. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
I climbed in the car and took a few deep breaths to calm my racing heart. He was only watching as a trainer—not a boyfriend.