CHAPTER NINETEEN
Ryan
Jacqueline and I spent the rest of the night talking. We finally admitted our love for each other and talked about our future. Soon the memories of our dinner with her parents faded to the back of our minds. I was just happy to be there with Jacqueline, holding her and listening to the sound of her breathing.
When I heard her say she loved me, my entire world changed. In that moment, I didn’t feel confused or unsure. My anger and pain caused by her parents disappeared. She was the only thing that mattered. Jacqueline.
When we woke up on Sunday morning, Jacqueline stayed in bed for a while. I felt better about things, but her mind was racing. After she confessed our relationship to her parents, they didn’t say anything. We left so fast that no one else had a chance to speak. We both expected them to call her, but they didn’t. Jacqueline was sure they would never speak to her again.
As I stood in the kitchen, making coffee and replaying my night with Jacqueline, there was a light tap on the front door. Before I could take a step, the door opened and Bradley poked his head inside. His eyes found me, and he opened the door wider, stepping inside and closing it behind him.
I couldn’t read his expression. In all the years we’d been friends, I was always able to read his mind. This time, I didn’t have a clue what he was thinking. He moved toward me with a determined expression, and I readied myself for a fight. I felt sure he would hit me, maybe worse.
My jaw tightened when he stopped right in front of me, and my fists were clenched at my side. The last thing I wanted to do was fight with Bradley, but I knew our friendship would never be the same. Now that he knew about me and his sister, I expected him to hate me.
“Can we talk?” he asked, turning and sinking into a chair at my kitchen table.
I nodded and walked over to join him. Sitting across from him, I watched his face closely. He rubbed his hand over it, shaking his head slowly back and forth. I could tell he was confused, more conflicted than he’d ever been before. At least, he didn’t seem angry. I counted myself lucky that all he wanted to do was talk.
“Listen,” I began softly. “I know I should have told you about Jacqueline. It was a mistake to keep it from you, but I didn’t intend for this to happen. Any of it. We just … we just sort of fell into this relationship.”
“I’m not mad,” Bradley said with a soft laugh. “You can relax, man, I’m not here to bust your balls.”
“You’re not?” I asked.
Just then Jacqueline walked out of the bedroom wearing a pair of pajama pants and my navy sweatshirt. She blushed when her eyes fell on Bradley’s face. Slowly, she walked over and sat beside us, her eyes still glued on her brother. I knew she was just as afraid of his reaction as I had been.
“Hey,” he said to her, smiling weakly.
“Hi,” she said back. “I, um, didn’t know you were here.”
“I just stopped by,” he said. “After last night, I wanted to talk to Ryan.”
“About me?” she asked nervously.
“About everything,” Bradley said.
Jacqueline nodded and waited for him to continue. His eyes moved from his face to mine and then back again. She looked nervous, so I took her hand in mine and squeezed it gently.
“I’m sorry we didn’t tell you,” Jacqueline whispered, looking up at her brother. “I wanted to. We both did.”
“Hey,” Bradley said. “I understand, okay? This isn’t exactly an easy conversation to have.”
“We’re still sorry,” I said. I meant it. I never wanted Bradley to find out that way. With his parents in the room, in the middle of a fight. It wasn’t the way we were supposed to tell him.
“Are you okay with this?” Jacqueline asked nervously.
“I’m not going to say it isn’t weird,” Bradley said slowly. “Ryan’s my brother, and you’re my sister, but I get that the two of you don’t have that relationship. I mean, I know you only lived together for three years before Ryan left. Ryan and I were best friends, but you? You barely knew him.”
“That’s true,” I said with a nod.
“Part of me wishes you could see each other as siblings,” Bradley said, sighing. “I just … I always had this image in my mind of us being a family, you know? Now I guess that can’t happen.”
“Why not?” Jacqueline asked.
“What do you mean?” Bradley said.
“Well, we can still be a family,” Jacqueline said, laughing. “Bradley, you’re my brother. We’re blood. Forever. And you and Ryan have this unbreakable bond. You’re brothers. That won’t change. Just because he and I are dating, that doesn’t mean we aren’t still a family.”
“It’s weird,” Bradley said, grinning and shaking his head. “I don’t know if I’ll ever get used to this.”
“Can you try?” I asked. “I love her. I really do.”
“I’m trying,” Bradley promised. “And I think in time it won’t feel as strange.”
Jacqueline smiled. “I think so too.”
“I’m glad you came by,” I said, patting Bradley’s shoulder. “I was afraid you were never going to speak to me again.”
“Nah,” Bradley said. “You didn’t do anything wrong. You fell in love. I can’t hate you for that.”
“Your parents probably do,” I said softly.
Jacqueline tensed beside me. She shifted uncomfortably in her seat and avoided my gaze. I knew she didn’t want to talk about her parents. She was terrified that they would never forgive her for lying about the truck and about our relationship. I tried to reassure her that everything would work out, but she didn’t believe me.
“What did they say?” she finally asked, turning her attention to Bradley. “After we left?”
“They’re mad,” Bradley said bluntly. “They probably will be for a long time, but I think they’ll be okay. You know, your little speech last night really made them think.”
“How?” Jacqueline asked.
“Well, they never really understood what they did to Ryan,” Bradley said, shooting me a sympathetic look. “They just reacted without thinking. After what you said last night, I think they realize their mistake. They aren’t over everything, and they probably won’t be for a long time, but I think they get it now. They get that it wasn’t all Ryan’s fault.”
Jacqueline nodded, and we all fell silent. There wasn’t much else to say. In his own way, Bradley had given us his permission. Things still felt tense between us, but I knew it would get better. Being around us would get easier for him. Eventually, everything would feel comfortable again.
I just wished I could say the same thing about their parents. The idea that I was causing a rift between Jacqueline and her family was hard to bear. No matter what they put me through, they were still her parents. I couldn’t be the reason she didn’t see or talk to them. I just couldn’t.
“Maybe …” I began, looking at Jacqueline. “Maybe we should take some space until everyone gets used to the idea of us being together.”
“No,” Jacqueline said firmly. “That’s crazy.”
“I just don’t want to keep you from your parents,” I said softly.
“You’re not,” Jacqueline insisted. “Ryan, I love you. That’s what matters.”
“I love you too,” I said.
“Listen, I’m gonna get out of here,” Bradley said.
“Sorry,” I said quickly, turning back to face him. “I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable or anything.”
“No,” he said, “You didn’t. Not at all. I can tell you guys need some time to talk, though. I’m happy for you. I really am. I’m just glad you both found someone who loves you. Jacqueline’s right. That’s what matters.”
“Thank you,” Jacqueline and I said together.
We stood up to say good-bye to Bradley. He hugged his sister first, wrapping her tightly in his embrace. He held onto her for a few seconds before he let go and turned to me. We looked at each other awkwardly for a few seconds, unsure of what to do. Finally, he stepped forward and pulled me to him. He slapped my back roughly, and we both laughed.
“Take care of her,” he said softly so that only I could hear him. “She’s really something special. Just make her happy, okay?”
We pulled away, and I nodded my silent promise.