I gripped the podium’s metal frame and glanced down at the dirt street below. Vibrations from the earth traveled up my arms and through my body. The jitters were making their way here from all the way across town, where the buzz and excitement of today’s festivities rose higher than the lifted dust in the distance. The drum of anxious hooves intensified. I could barely see the town’s last roof near the north end through the hovering cloud of stirred dirt. I quickly glanced to the south end, where the copper tones of Mr. Garcia’s junkyard stood out against the backdrop of sunflower fields in the Sonoran Desert. Within a few minutes, the gated field beside his new house would be filled with raging bulls.
And still, there was no sign of Xavier.
I’d been standing there since early morning, hoping that before the bulls were released, I’d see him. The podium gave a good view a few blocks to the south and north. I was too scared to go back to the Bistro and ask about him. More so, I was afraid that all I’d find there would be a pool of blood by the table where we’d been sitting last night. There was no sign of him anywhere, and I hadn’t seen Ben either. On some level, I’d been hoping that Ben would persuade Xavier to run with the bulls. That would have at least given him a chance.
“Don’t lean too far, Anna.”
The familiar voice shot a much-needed jolt of happiness through my body. I stepped away from the railing and turned around. Hands in his jean pockets, John stood near the top of the podium, grinning at me as if he hadn’t seen me in ages, though it had only been a week. He wasn’t supposed to return from the retreat until next week. He’d just completed his seminary studies and was now on his way to becoming a deacon at our parish. I couldn’t wait until he was hired by Father Francis.
“John, what are you doing here?”
“I knew you’d want a front row seat. Why do you insist on watching them from one of the most dangerous spots possible?”
“Because it’s the best view. I missed you.” I hopped up the steps and jumped into his waiting arms. I threw mine around his neck and brought my mouth to his for a delicious kiss. Instant warmth filled me as the heat of his lips imprinted on mine. I melted into his body, which immediately reminded me of its strength as the muscles there bunched against my skin. When I finally pulled my mouth away, his excitement had already grown.
“I missed you as well,” he said into my mouth, when he sealed a fresh kiss on my lips.
A day without him was too long, never mind a week. Among our friends, the girls had steady boyfriends who lived in town, of course. Maybe that’s why they’d all gotten knocked up before high school finished. Most of my peers were already mothers with two point five children. It seemed like the moment they gave birth, they were pregnant again, and many were halfway through their third pregnancies right about now. Sometimes I felt like there was an invitation to the birthing club that I’d missed, and that was a good thing. I was not ready for children yet; I would do it the right way, after I married John.
I didn’t know what my friends saw in the guys from our town anyway. Most had nothing more to offer than beer bellies, guns, and apparently a lot of spit in their mouths, because they were hacking every two steps as if they were marking their territories. John wasn’t one of those boys. He was simple, loving, and the best-looking guy I’d ever seen. Well, except maybe for Xavier. He was definitely good-looking; but since he wasn’t from Pace, he didn’t count. I leaned over the railing at the side, scanning the street to the west side.
“Anna, you better stay back. You know that bulls can leap high if they want to,” he warned.
Of course I knew, but I was worried about the man who had so honorably pushed me away from danger last night, and Ben was much more dangerous than any bull. Since I hadn’t seen him that morning, I was hoping that I would run into Xavier at the Assumption Fiesta near town hall. Everyone and anyone would be there. It was tradition. The roads wouldn’t be open until tomorrow morning, anyway. Where else could Xavier have gone?
A quick cold chill ran through me, and I stepped up on my toes to smack my lips to John’s for another warm smooch, and then took a safe step away from the railing. Far in the distance, the sound of a metal-against-metal clash of the opening gates marked the start, but as John’s arms wound around my waist, I ignored it. Bulls could wait.
“Me faltaban tus besos. I missed your lips, your eyes, and your mouth.”
“Then you’re going to need to kiss me some more, to make up for lost time.”
“I’m not peeling myself away from you again.”
“I think you may need to remind me why, mi cariño.”
The cheering and clapping were getting louder, and I felt the first tremble underneath my feet. When the bulls ran, it felt like you had pins and needles in your soles, except magnified a thousand times.
“Because I love you. Are you coming over right after the run?” John asked.
“Of course. I picked fresh tomatoes for your mom this morning.” I pointed to the basket near the bottom of the stands. “She said she has everything ready for the fiesta this evening. All we have to do is bring stuff over to the town hall.”
As John held me around my waist, I felt a sense of peace wash over me. I never figured out what it was about him that drew us together so much, but his good heart could never be replaced. He was the reason I hadn’t run away from town yet. If it weren’t for his faith in Pace, I’d ditch this place and never look back. I’d take Xavier’s offer to leave without a second thought. But I couldn’t. John’s family was the only one I had. I’d been eating dinners at the Hernandez household for the past four years, ever since my parents died in that house fire.
“That sounds perfect,” he replied.
“Listen, have you seen this new guy in town? He’s passing through, and we ran into Ben last night at the Bistro.”
“You went to the Bistro? Anna, please tell me you’re joking.”
“You know how it is with Ben. You don’t have much choice when he corners you.”
“Did he hurt you?”
“No, I’m fine.” I waved my hand as if my heart weren’t beating like crazy, ready to pop out of my chest.
“You shouldn’t have put yourself in that situation in the first place. Why did you cross the boundary?”
“I went to see my parents.” I lowered my head, and John brought me closer to his body.
“I’m so sorry, Anna. I know you want to visit. I just wish it weren’t on that side of town.”
The wave of cheering, stomping hooves, screaming, and clapping finally reached us, and the podium shook and swayed a little. My gaze darted to the ledge, where I’d left the basket of tomatoes. I pushed away from John and leapt for the container as it was sliding toward the edge of the step.
“Anna, don’t!” I heard behind me.
One of the passing bulls kicked its hind legs so high that it lifted him over a dozen feet in the air, until it was looking me right in the eye. I grabbed the basket and rolled to the left, but the strength of the stampede had forced a few spectators off balance, who bumped into each other and ultimately pushed me to the side and off the unstable podium. I rolled to the ledge, trying to grasp at the edges, but the momentum took me over.
No, no, no….
I quickly tucked the basket underneath my body and curled into a ball by the wall. I shut my eyes and breathed through my shirt as the dust spun, the earth shook, and my ears buzzed with the constant hum of the cheering crowd above me and stomping hooves merely a foot away.
A strong force grabbed me and pulled me aside, into a nook between two buildings.
“Didn’t I say you were too close to the rail?” John’s breaths were deep and heavy, as if he’d been running from the bulls since the gates opened. His forehead was smeared with dirt and sweat, and I could only imagine how awfully dirty I must have looked. Dirty, sweaty, and sexy, perhaps, because that’s how John appeared.
I felt blood rush through my veins. Excitement and desire blossomed in my chest, and I found it more difficult to remember that half-ton bulls were passing us a few feet to the right. And it was all because John was holding me in his arms, securely pinned against the wall. The near commotion was beginning to settle. A few of the slower cattle passed, and our mouths connected again as if we’d been starved for years. There was nothing innocent or tender about this kiss. It was hard and desperate, demanding and giving. It was the only way we could catch up from the week we spent apart. We kissed until the hum lowered to the sound of falling dust and the bulls had made it to their destination at the other end of the city. Feeling John’s hard erection against my thigh and the ample weight of my swelling breasts, I knew exactly where this was leading, and I couldn’t wait until I could once again feel John’s weight over my body. We hadn’t made love yet, as we’d promised to wait until we were married, but we fooled around enough to make the temptation utterly irresistible. I wasn’t sure that I could wait for him much longer.
“We’ll continue this tonight?” he asked. “I’ll come by after midnight.”
“I’ll leave the back door open.”
“Don’t. I’ll knock quietly. I don’t want your door open in this town, ever.”
“I know. I’m just kidding. I promise to lock up and be safe.”
The days of unlocked doors and no robberies were long gone. Now that I lived alone at the parish house, I had to be extra careful. After my parents died, the parish hired me as a secretary, and I then volunteered for the children’s ministry, which John had set up. It wasn’t an easy job, because dealing with crooks and thieves while teaching about faith and honesty took a skill of its own. The kids were good until they fell prey to the cartel — usually by the age of sixteen. After that, it was over. We were losing a few more good souls each year, and we didn’t know how to stop it.
My job included this rent-free accommodation, and since I didn’t want to be a burden on John’s family, this was where I now lived. My mother’s wish had always been to see her child stand on her own two feet, and so that’s what I had done.
It wasn’t until later that I realized my mother had truly feared for our lives. As soon as I found out that Alejandro Cortez left it up to his son to “buy” my land for nothing, I knew that donating it to the state and creating a national preserve was the right choice. The little chapel my parents rested in was the only structure that could stand on the land. Surrounded by fields of tiny wild sunflowers, it was the perfect resting place for my parents. No one could ever touch them again.
“Anna…” he warned. I loved the sound of his lowered voice. I found it extremely sexy.
“I promise to keep it locked, John.”
“Come on, let’s get cleaned up before dinner. Do we shower at your place or mine?”
“Mine is closer. And your mom will flip if she sees us covered in dirt at the fiesta. But I need to sneak you in. Father Francis gets anxious when you come around.”
“That’s because he knows what I want from you.”
“What is that?”
“Everything.” He sealed his request with his lips, and I wanted so much more than his giving mouth. The more time we spent together, the more difficult it became to resist his charms.
I showered first, changed into fresh clothes, and waited for John in the kitchen. Ever since I moved out of his house, he’d kept a few spare shirts at my place. The first few nights by myself were rough, but John had dutifully stayed at my side until I felt comfortable on my own. His house wasn’t far – a few minutes jog at the most, if I took the back fields. By the time John finished his shower and we left my home, the sun was getting low. A coyote’s howl echoed in the distant desert, and I felt shivers run over my arms.
“Should we have taken the fields?” I asked. Walking through the back roads, our chances of running into Ben were minimal. Out here, where I could see the motel and the Bistro to the left across the street, we knew we could run into trouble. Part of me wanted to see Ben. I wanted to know what had happened to Xavier.
“Maybe,” he said, looking over at the Bistro, where Ben was leaning against the railing.
“Hola, chiquita! Where are you going, my beautiful?”
John stilled.
“Ignore him, John.”
We continued our walk, this time with a little more hurry. I could feel John’s muscles bunch up as I held onto his hand.
“You come back to Pace and don’t say hello to an old friend, John? Or is it Father John already? You screwing around with a priest, chiquita? I have to say, Xavier was much better looking. He wanted you too, beautiful. He wanted you bad.”
John stopped for the second time.
“That’s not true, John. Xavier was a gentleman. Ben’s taunting you. Ignore him.”
“Where’s this Xavier guy?”
“I don’t know. I’m worried, John. I haven’t seen him since he pushed me out the back door of the Bistro yesterday and told me to go home.”
“Do you think he could be in trouble?” John asked, concern shadowing his face.
I nodded.
John stopped and turned around. “Where’s Xavier?” he called out.
“Come in for a beer and I’ll tell you.”
“John, don’t. I have a bad feeling.” I tugged at John’s arm.
“Come on, amigo.” Ben gestured to the front door. He was nothing close to a friend and never would be. I didn’t want John to be caught up in whatever scheme Ben was planning, but part of me was worried about Xavier as well. I wanted to know that he was all right.
“Just tell us where Xavier is and we’ll be on our way,” I called out.
“Oh, come on, beautiful. Let’s share a beer, like we did last night, and I’ll tell you.” He once again gestured with his hand to the bar.
“You had a beer with him?”
“It wasn’t like that, John.” Didn’t he know me? Didn’t he believe me? John gripped my hand with reassurance, and I knew that he did. There was a resolve inside him. He didn’t want to give up. He never did, and it was one of the wonderful qualities I’d fallen in love with when I met him.
“Learn from yesterday,” John said under his breath, and guided us toward Ben.
“John, please,” I begged, desperately pulling on his arm, which was now moving me closer to the Bistro.
“God will protect us,” he added.
My stomach tightened, but John had a plan. I could see it in his eyes. Holding onto his arm, I followed John as he turned to face Benjamin Cortez. “What do you want?”
“How about a little game of chess, for old time’s sake?”
“John’s parents are expecting us,” I said. “Everyone at the fiesta is expecting us.”
“Then we better stop wasting time, chiquita. Now, what are we playing for?” He rubbed his hands together, looking straight at me, his gaze placing me somewhere near the top of his prize list. The way Ben looked at me reminded me of the time a tarantula had crawled on my arm in the middle of the night. It wasn’t pleasant. It didn’t tickle.
“Do you have a death wish, Ben?” John growled, stepping slightly in front of me.
“More than one. You in or out?”
John waited patiently, and I wondered what was passing through his mind. I wanted to know what he was thinking so deeply about. John was a planner as well, just like Ben, but he was a different planner than Ben. John believed that God had a plan for him. That’s why he was fearless. His faith was stronger than that of anyone else I’d known.
“I want to know where Xavier is.” He paused for a moment. “What do you want? The only thing of worth I have are these tomatoes.” He pointed to the basket on my left arm.
Ben scanned me from my head all the way down to my toes, saying, “Then you don’t know what you have. Tomatoes it is, then.” A sly grin stretched across his face as he pushed open the wooden door to the Bistro. For the second time in two days, I walked through the entrance I’d once vowed to never walk through again.