“I like the word ‘demure’… do you really think I’m like that?” I had learned so many things from Kayla over the past eight years, and I tilted my head to watch her nod. When she first exclaimed the description, I had to actually look it up online, and she smiled over at me as my laptop’s blue glow lit up her face.

“Yes, I do. You’d be a great pediatrician, Lilly. It takes everything to piss you off, and that’s a great quality. Plus, you have the greatest bedside manner.” Grinning widely at the compliments, I blushed hard as Kayla bumped her shoulder gently into mine. “So, let’s explain why you want to be a doctor. What about that, huh?”

“I… I remember this kid in church once that had a seizure, and no one knew what to do. I was a few rows in front of him, and his parents didn’t know what was going on. They tried to get him to stay still and be quiet because they thought he was acting out- he was young… maybe 5 years old. He threw up and choked on it, and he ended up dying. Everyone kept saying that it was God’s plan and all of that, but I thought it was preventable. This was right six months or so before we moved here. I just… I know I won’t be able to stop preventable deaths. There are always going to be parents like that. But… I want to be able to help the children whose parents aren’t so naïve.” Kayla had never heard this story, and I picked at my fingernails and hung my head. My heart still hurt so many years later, and that little boy’s face flashed in my mind’s eye. He’d suffocated to death, and everyone thought it was God’s will and not the preventable tragedy I saw.

Next to me, my friend was quiet, and I ground my teeth together absently as her dull, brown eyes bored holes into the side of my face.

“… That’s terrible, Lilly. I’m so sorry you had to go through that. Um- but… I’m kinda glad there’s a ‘record message’ option on this site, because typing wouldn’t do that justice.” Stiffening, I sucked in a sharp breath, and my eyes flew to my laptop on Kayla’s lap. The mouse hovered over a small, thin box underneath the ‘description’ box, and goosebumps rose all over my body. Clearing my throat, I blinked hard and shook my head before taking a deep, stabilizing breath.

“Um, so… is there anything else to put up there?” Stumbling through my question, I cleared my throat to dislodge the lump that threatened to choke me. My eyes strayed back to the ‘record message’ box, and my fingers itched to record over it. As if sensing what I battle with, Kayla draped her arm over my shoulder to squeeze comfortingly.

“Nope. All done. All you have to do now is click the ‘Publish’ button, and your page will be uploaded.” Licking my lips heavily, I slowly reached for the mousepad as my heart thudded wildly in my chest. The force of the beat spread an ache against my ribs, and I shakily moved the cursor to the bottom of the page. My pointer finger hovered over the left clicker, and I squeezed my eyes closed before jabbing the button hard.

The soft click was the only sound in the room, and it echoed for a few, long seconds before I cracked open an eye. On the screen was a congratulations message, and my eyes widened as a goofy smirk spread wide between my cheeks.

“Your profile will be available for viewing within the next 24-48 hours, and the auction will be held from May 30^th to June 6^th. During this time, you will not be able to make changes to your profile- yada yada yada… You’ll be contacted only when the auction has been completed… contact will be established, blah- blah blah…”

Kayla’s excited voice rang in my ears, and I leaned back as she skimmed through the message. Like every other part of the process, this was very straightforward, and she closed my laptop carefully before heaving a sigh.

“…Your auction starts on my birthday, you know that?” Nodding heavily, I tilted my head to watch the cogs turn behind Kayla’s eyes. “Do you still want to go to Sound Bar like we planned? They’re not going to tell you every time a bid is placed, so there’s no point in hanging out around your laptop.”

“Yeah, I still want to go. It’s your birthday- that’s more important than the auction.” Smiling over at my friend, I closed my eyes to relish the buzzing excitement that was slowly but surely taking me over.

The informative e-mail I’d received stated that the starting bid was usually $200,000, and that covered half the tuition my scholarships didn’t. Anything left over, I was just going to save; Kayla and I would be attending the same university in the summer, and her parents already agreed to put me up.

My virginity was a small price to pay in exchange for the direction I would be headed the rest of my life. Right?

“You know, when I gave away my virginity, it was weird…” Speaking up into the silence, Kayla broke into my thoughts with a precision that caused my heart to jump into my throat. “It was, like, five minutes. The guy- his name was Jeffry- he was surprised I was actually a virgin. Anyway, it wasn’t painful or anything, just uncomfortable- different. I mean, it did hurt when my knees hit my face, but it wasn’t crazy. If you have the chance, ask the guy to be quick and then wait a little- like half an hour. You’ll feel a lot better that way.”

“I hope he’s not a creep. I don’t think I would regret this, but… I don’t know. I could regret it, but not what I’m going to get out of it. Right?” Voicing my concerns, I nibbled my bottom lip while my mind raced. This whole situation was becoming disturbingly real, and Kayla rested her head on my shoulder.

“I can hang around whatever hotel you two decide to use- or you can use my house. I wouldn’t leave you alone, Lilly.” My heart stuttered, and I pressed my cheek against the crown of Kayla’s head with a happy sigh. She might’ve been a little crazy sometimes, but she was the best friend a person could ask for. “So, did you want to stick around for lunch, or were you going to go back home? My mom should be coming home soon from the store- she’s making eggplant lasagna tonight.”

“Uh- I’ll stay. My mom is just making salad again.” Scrunching up my nose at that, Kayla chuckled throatily against my side. “I don’t know if I can sit through another dinner alone with her now that my dad works doubles. She won’t stop trying to bring up these guys at church. I haven’t even gone to church for almost a year…”

“You do know you’re not obligated to please your parents, right, Lilly? You need to do what pleases you, and if that means not marrying a loser that considers door to door missionary work a job- then don’t. My parents hate the fact that I want to be a nurse, but they understand that it’s what I want, you know?” Humming softly in response, I closed my eyes only to watch my last fight with my mom play behind my eyelids.

We were in the car, and I wanted to start taking driving lessons; my father drove because my mother had never learned how, and I couldn’t stop thinking about it. He never said anything, but my mother became louder and louder as the argument intensified.

You shouldn’t need to know how to drive. Your husband can do it for you.

You can’t expect anyone to marry you if you’re so independent.

Frowning at the memories, I sucked in a sharp breath before forcing my eyelids apart. I liked riding my bike, but I didn’t want to cycle across town every day for an hour when I could drive a car for ten minutes. The fresh gash on my morale had been made only two weeks ago, and my mom wasn’t going to relent.

Her opinion about women was the only opinion, and there was no way of opening her mind.

“I know it’s a lost cause, but I wish my parents would be proud of me. Even if it’s just because of the effort I’m putting into this. It’s not a ‘phase’ like my dad thinks. At least your parents have a begrudging acceptance of it all. I can’t even talk to my dad without him asking if I decided to drop out and get married.” My grumbling only produced a grunt from Kayla, and she lifted her head to run her hand through her short hair.

“See, this is why I’m glad my parents aren’t religious. No offense, Lilly- and I’m sure a lot of religious people are as righteous as they claim- but this is bullshit. It’s not the 1700s anymore… it’s not even the 50s anymore. You have the world of societal acceptance in front of you. You can say ‘screw it’ to your parents and be a porn star and no one would care.” Heat spread across my face at that, and Kayla barked out a laugh even as my throat tightened. “Okay, maybe not that drastic- but you get my point. I know it’s hard, but you shouldn’t let your parents shame you into doing what they want. You always- always- have the option to come here. You know my parents love you, Lilly. You’re, like, the good girl daughter they always wanted.”

“Yeah- yeah, I get it. You’re not a bad daughter, Kayla. You’re just… different.” The grin that curved my mouth was wide, and Kayla rolled her eyes as I exhaled a giggle. Her purple hair shimmered slightly when she shook her head, and I reached across her to grab my laptop. My sternum popped slightly, releasing the massive amounts of pressure that had built up in the last three hours. Opening my movie player app, I cocked my head as I searched for a comedy to help take my mind off everything completely.