“You’re going on a date with your mom’s boyfriend-“ Choking out a loud, gagging sound, Cynthia burst into hysterical laughter as I stomped through the front door of our home. “Oh- oh God- my ches-s-t… I’m… I’m gunna die- die…”

“It’s not a date, Cynthia. Please- that’s disgusting. It’s just drinks on a Friday. Nothing special.” Tossing my coat over the couch, I went straight to the refrigerator to yank open the door and pull out a can of seltzer water. My chest burned from embarrassment, and Cynthia’s yowling only grew louder at my denial. I couldn’t even enjoy the fizz of my drink against my lips while she stumbled into a chair near the kitchen table.

“Drinks on Friday is code for ‘we’re gunna bang because I don’t have to work the next day’, Risha. And I bet he’s been wanting to take it slow with Anna to make sure she’s not a conniving bitch… even though we all know she is. C’mon, you can’t tell me you don’t think he’s hot. I know you have a thing for older dudes.” Leaning against the refrigerator, I took large gulps of my drink to avoid answering. Cynthia knew all too well my preferences, and my cheeks tinged pink to reflect against the unlabeled can.

No one with even poor vision could deny that William was handsome, but there was no way I would go there when my mother is involved. Speaking of which, he doesn’t even know who I am. He probably didn’t tell my mother about our little chat at the theater.

Which means William was already having doubts long before I spoke to him.

Which was good. Sort of.

Maybe not really, but still.

“You’ll have the house all to yourself on Friday, anyway. Martin wants to take me to meet his mom. He thinks it’ll help her…” The sudden shift in topic almost caused me to choke, and I doubled over as Cynthia stared into space dazedly. Martin Callucci’s mother was having trouble staying positive; she was older, and her cancer was about as advanced as Cynthia’s had been. From what I’d heard Martin was the only child, and there were no grandbabies. There was nothing for this woman to fight for, and she was losing hope.

“Cynthia, I think that’s a great idea…” I couldn’t bring myself to say more, leaving my mouth hanging open as I stared at my best friend. …but don’t you think it’ll cause you to digress?

The words hung silently in the kitchen, and I sighed heavily before bringing my can to my lips. Cynthia’s own doctors had said, several times, that she should stay away from any triggers. Any instance that could send her back three years should be avoided; after all, discovering cancer and having a double emergency mastectomy changed a person. Going to an oncology ward would definitely bring up some memories.

“I have to do this, Risha. I gave up my breasts and two years of my life… I can’t hide from those facts anymore. I’m not the same woman I was, and if this helps me be okay with that, then I have to do it.” Grimacing at the seriousness that settled on my shoulders, I only jerked my head in a nod. A soft ping sounded from my purse, and I reached for the leather bag with a frown.

“It’s my mother. She wanted to have dinner two weeks from now…” Glaring at my phone screen, I circled my thumbs absently as I debated declining. Popping up from her seat, Cynthia stared down at my phone with a grimace of her own before snatching the device. I didn’t deny her, pulling my half empty can to my lips to watch her wave my phone in the air.

“Speaking of hiding, you need to do something about this shit, Risha. You go through all of this trouble for your mom, and she doesn’t even care about what it does to you. At least tell her ‘no’ this time. And what if it’s for you to meet William? You don’t think he’ll be hurt that you lied by omission? He’ll think you’re just being spiteful towards your mom and that you didn’t do it out of concern for him.”

“I- I didn’t think of that…” Faltering at Cynthia’s reasoning, I squeezed my can between stiff fingers. “Do you really think he’ll think that?”

Setting my phone on my purse, Cynthia shrugged before taking a deep breath. Today had been a rollercoaster ride long before William showed up at lunch. Anthony was in a mood I didn’t want to deal with, so I jumped at the chance to take the train across town to meet her.

He blew up my phone the entire time, but somehow I managed to ignore him. Mine wasn’t the best idea, but there was nothing I could do about it now.

“I know you’re genuinely concerned about him, but you need to see how this looks. Okay? You didn’t introduce yourself as Anna’s daughter… strike one. Strike two- you have the makings of a crush on him, and don’t even try to deny it. If you didn’t like him even a little bit, you would’ve declined his offer for drinks. He’s successful and handsome, and obviously he’s a gentleman- those are all things you swoon over, Risha. If you wait to tell him you’re Anna’s daughter, he’s going to doubt everything you told him. Trust me on this.”

My eyes widened at Cynthia’s mini-rant, and I pulled my bottom lip between my teeth. When she put it like that, it did look bad. Groaning softly, I reached to grab my phone from her without resistance.

“Okay, so I’ll tell my mom I’ll go to this dinner and I’ll just meet with William beforehand to tell him personally.” My thumbs worked to type a short message, and I tapped the ‘send’ button with a sinking heart. Sidling up to my side, Cynthia wrapped her long arm around my waist and set her head on my shoulder. Her short hair tickled my neck and jaw, and I let out a breath I didn’t know I was holding before she spoke up.

“You’re so obtuse, you know that? You don’t want me to get hurt, but you’re setting yourself up for the same thing. I saw it at the theater and today at lunch- you started crushing on William the moment you met him. He’s not like the others, and that scares you because you don’t know what to expect.” Staring down at my phone as my mother gave her reply, I shook my head but didn’t speak up. My heart squeezed, knowing Cynthia was right.

William was older, much more embedded in his success, and my mother’s deviation was scary. I knew with all of my being that she didn’t like him for any reason beyond the depths of his pockets, but that wasn’t any different than usual.

Closing my eyes, I pictured William in my mind’s eye. He obviously took care of himself, and my fingers tingled at the memory of the muscles that lay just under his shirt sleeve. Just the air around him was laden with experience, and I reached to rub my chest absently.

“… If you need me tomorrow just call me, okay?” Breaking the silence, I rested my cheek on Cynthia’s crown as she nodded. Resignation spread through me, thinning out my blood as my heart slowed to a steady rhythm.

Holding my forehead in my palm, I listened to Anthony stress rant a list of things I had already done. Patiently I waited for him to finish, but he’d been going on for nearly five minutes now. My eyelid twitched in annoyance, and pressure built behind my eyes from holding my breath for too long.

I hadn’t gotten any sleep last night, too busy worrying about what Cynthia said. In just a few hours I’d be meeting up with William, and I still couldn’t decide what to tell him.

“-re you listening to me, Risha? I ne-“

Slamming my free hand down on my desk, I cut Anthony off to stand up. My chair flew back to hit the wall, and I glared at my boss as he finally fell silent. Even in my heels I had to crane my neck to look him in the eye, and his widened at the angry red that heated my cheeks.

“I quit! God, Anthony- I know you’re stressed, but you can’t take it out on me. I did all of this prep yesterday, and if you’d stop yelling at me for a single moment I would’ve told you so. You know I only got this job to pass the time, but it’s becoming too much. Find a new secretary.” Taking a harsh breath, I grabbed my bag to roughly sling the straps over my shoulders. Stunned quiet met my outburst, and my heels clicking on the hardwood floor became the only noise. Fierce blue eyes bored into my back as I made my way to the stairs, but I didn’t look back.

Anthony wasn’t an abusive boss by any means, but I was done with his attitude.

Sliding into a sleek, leather capped bar stool, I let loose a hot sigh before glancing around. The bar was nice, nearly empty, and my gaze floated over couches and lounge chairs in disinterest. Turning my attention to the vast array of wine, I set my purse on the bar top before dropping my chin into my palm. Quiet permeated the space, and I relished the reprieve to get some thinking done.

Anthony had just hired a new partner, but his stress over it couldn’t be my problem. I wasn’t his therapist. Every day I went above and beyond for him just to get berated for his own inability to stay organized. Just repeat it enough and the anger will go away.

Groaning quietly, I sunk down to rest my forehead on my arm to listen to my slow, steady pulse.

“Rough day?” The bartender’s smooth voice washed over me, and I nodded miserably without lifting my head. “Want to talk about it? I’m a great listener.”

“… Can you just get me a really nice bottle of red? I want to be classy while I drown in my own terrible decisions.” My request earned me a chuckle, and I shuffled to watch the bartender saunter off. He was young, maybe even younger than I was, and a nicely starched, black button down hung from his shoulders. His hair was pulling into a thick tail, and I could see his beard when he pushed his way into the back room.

Hipster. Shivering slightly in disgust, I shook my head to clear him from my thoughts. So easily he was wiped away, making way for the man that seemed to dominate my listlessness.

William was a mystery to me simply because I knew what my mother saw in him. He was wealthy, grounded, and seemed like he wanted more out of life than being rich. Those were all attractive traits, but it still didn’t explain why he was dating my mom. She couldn’t care less about anything about him but his money; surely he realized that after six months.

But what if he doesn’t realize she’s playing him like a fiddle?

“Ugh…” Frowning into my arm, I took a deep breath before lifting my head just as the bartender stopped in front of me. His nose piercing glinted in the white lights above our heads, and I had to physically stop myself from frowning.

I never found male piercings attractive.

“My best bottle for the sad beauty. If you need anything just tap this bell.” Setting a small button bell next to the bottle, he flashed me a smile as he poured me a glass. The fruity smell wafted up into my nostrils, and I took hold of the stem to take a deep breath. For a moment he watched me, but when I didn’t pay him any mind he wandered off to do whatever bartenders do when there are no customers.

Half the bottle was gone before I felt a body next to mine, and I turned my tipsy gaze to watch William seat himself quietly. He expression was placid, as if he knew I had already been drinking, and I smiled when his eyes met mine.

“I don’t usually drink during the day, I swear. I quit my job today, so I figured extenuating circumstances…” Trailing off, I pursed my lips together when I realized I was slurring slightly. Half a bottle of wine wasn’t enough to get me drunk, but I pushed my glass away with hands that trembled slightly. “Sorry.”

“It’s fine, Risha.” Gently patting my shoulder, William’s warm, hard palm mixed with the alcohol in my system to spread a fuzzy feeling through my chest. “Why did you quit?”

“My boss started taking advantage of me.” Alarm colored his face, and my eyes widened as my own words echoed in my ears. “Not, like, sexually. Oh- no. I think he’s closet gay. I mean- erh… he started yelling at me and I just left.”

Tearing my gaze off William, I stared hard at the edge of the bar as my face flamed. Drinking before meeting him had been a terrible idea, I realized. Twiddling my thumbs, I scrunched up my face is dismay.

I seemed to be making a lot of terrible decisions lately.