Hope
Dressed in one of Hunter's t-shirts, I sat on the bed I had run from less than twenty-four hours earlier, thumbs twiddling and knees bopping along to the rhythm of my haywire nerves.
I kept thinking that my time was running out.
How close I had come to being raped tonight?
It did something to me – to my mind.
I felt warped.
Like I had very suddenly been exposed to a part of this world I wanted no part of.
And then I kept thinking it wasn’t over.
That it was going to happen again.
That I was going to be raped and killed.
To be honest, I wasn’t sure which one was worse; the thought of being violated like that, or having the life forced out of my body.
When Hunter stepped out of the adjoining ensuite a little while later, dripping with water, a towel wrapped around his narrow hips, and his blond hair slicked back from his face, my heart sprang to life in my chest.
The fear threatening to consume me seemed to quieten when he was near. His mere presence forced the anxiety knotting my stomach to slither back to the hole it had crept out of.
I wanted this man and it didn’t seem to matter how or why.
I just did.
Somewhere deep down in my soul, he called out to me and, no matter how much I tried to block him out, his call still broke through.
There was no other place in the world I wanted to be in this moment than right here with him.
There was no logic to my actions, no good could come of this arrangement, and still I yearned... I ached.
That's why I needed to have him inside me.
Just him.
I needed him to replace the broken thoughts in my head, the thunderous pain in my heart.
I needed him to chase my demons away.
"Can't sleep, sweetheart?" Hunter asked as he walked over to his dresser and pulled open a drawer. I watched him slip on a pair of snug black boxer shorts. He turned to face me then, the embodiment of masculine virility.
The sight of him caused a sigh to escape my lips and I pressed my aching cheek to my shoulder.
The intensity, the yearning, the passion… I felt it all for this man.
It didn’t matter what we'd done tonight, or the secrets weighing heavily on our shoulders.
I still wanted him.
"No," I whispered, breathing hard and fast. "I was waiting for you."
His brows furrowed. "Hope, I didn’t bring you here for that, baby."
"I know," I croaked out, feeling the familiar rush of heat flood my body. "But I need that…" Swallowing deeply, I added, "I need you."
I watched him watch me, and no warning my brain was giving me was enough to stop my heart from hammering in my chest, screaming out for him, demanding I claim him as mine.
I wanted him to catch me because I was falling for him and I wasn’t going to be able to break my fall. I didn’t want to be brave. I didn’t want to be clever or smart. I wanted to fall helplessly in love with this man and not feel shame for it. The only place I felt like I could be who I truly was inside, was when I was in his arms.
Everything about this man was so foreign to me.
I was completely intrigued by it all.
Like how deftly he handled fire arms – as if he'd been doing it for years.
He was the definition of the apex predator, and I his willing victim.
"Why me, Hunter?" I asked, tone low, voice raspy.
He arched a brow in confusion. "Why you?"
"Yeah," I breathed, nodding slowly, never taking my eyes off his. "Why do you love me?"
"Because you're my best friend," his response was immediate and unwavering. "And I've never felt… a connection to another person like the connection I feel with you."
"Really?" I croaked out.
"I love you, Hope," he replied, soothing me with his certainty. "I think I've loved you since that very first day in Ireland." He shook his head, as if thinking back to that morning in Cork. "The minute you walked into Noah's hotel room after all hell had broken loose. You were all pissy and had smoke steaming out of your ears." He smirked at the memory. "I looked into your eyes that day and saw the girl inside. The one that reached me at a deeper level than anyone else. The girl hiding behind the mask of pretense. The girl that was screaming out for someone to save her." Hunter shrugged helplessly, giving me a rare glimpse of the vulnerability inside the man. "I saw you then, and I see you now."
I got it.
Understood his words.
I felt them too.
Right down in the deepest part of my heart.
"I'm not going back to him." Hunter opened his mouth to say something, but I quickly cut him off. "I mean it, Hunter." He needed to hear my truth. "I'm done with the lies and the hiding, and I am so over being that scared little girl you saw in Ireland," I whispered, trembling like an ivy leaf, as I watched him walk towards me. "I know you can't hear it tonight, but one of these days I'm going to tell you all about the crazy love I have in my heart for you."
Vulnerable and exposed, I stood up and pulled his t-shirt over my head. Clutching the fabric in my hands, I forced myself to look up at him.
To see and be seen.
My heart hammered in my chest, my blood bubbled in my veins, my air caught in my throat, but I did it.
I made myself face him.
I made myself find the courage to stand before him naked, giving him a piece of me no other had before.
I was so ready to shed this skin I'd been wearing my whole life; this cloak of lies that hid the real me.
"Because you deserve my truth," I strangled out, heart raging like a storm. "You deserve to hear all about the countless ways I love you."
Hunter reached a hand under my chin, tipping it upwards so he had a front row view into the deepest parts of my soul. "You're so fucking beautiful," he whispered, eyes burning into mine. "It's painful."
"Don’t let me go, okay?" I begged, clinging onto his shoulders for dear life. "Please don’t let this be for nothing." Swallowing deeply, I added, "I'm leaving my marriage for you. I'm leaving everything behind for you –"
His lips landed hard on mine then, his kiss a silent promise that I didn’t need to fear what was to come, because he was here, right here with me, standing beside me, ready to take the world and its mother down to keep us safe.
Broken and torn, I clung to his broad shoulders as we fell onto his bed, immersing myself in every vivid sensation and feeling that came with being in the arms of a man like him.
Hunter's hands roamed over my skin with such undiluted love and passion that I felt stripped down to the core. Every inch of my body shook; desire and emotion reducing me to a shuddering mess.
"I don’t want to hurt you," he groaned when his big body landed heavily down on mine, pressing me deeper into the mattress. "Never you."
"The only way you can hurt me is if you leave me," I whispered, wrapping my legs around his hips. Cradling his face between my hands, I pressed a kiss to his swollen lips and said, "Now show me how much you love me."