Sailor

 

“I’m not getting in that hot tub without a bathing suit. Maybe tomorrow I can buy one,” I say to Jake while we sit on his pewter-grey leather couch.

Holding his hands up, he grins. “You can get in before I come out on the terrace. I promise not to peek, and I swear I’ll stay on the other side of the tub.”

“I thought people weren’t supposed to soak in hot tubs if they’ve been drinking alcohol.”

He rolls his eyes. “I’m not going to let you pass out in there, and we won’t stay in long. Do you ever break the rules?”

I glance around like the walls have all the answers.

“No, not ever.”

“That’s changing. You just need more liquid courage first.” He jumps up and heads for the kitchen. Now that he’s had a couple of drinks, he’s loosened up and is flirtier. I like it. Actually, I love it, but it’s nerve-racking.

“Here. Drink up,” he orders when he returns with my beer.

“Damn, you were that teen committing peer pressure, weren’t you?”

“Committing? You say that like it’s a crime.” He cocks an eyebrow after sitting on the couch again. “You don’t have to drink that beer. I’m not going to hold you down and make you; however, I think you need another drink after the shocking day you had. I also think you want it.”

He stares at me with intensity, the heat between us smoldering right beneath the surface, possibly mere seconds away from bubbling up and spreading like lava. I don’t know if I’d have the strength to outrun it.

I have to look away, but he turns my chin back to face him.

“Sometimes you look at me like I’m scary. I’m not used to that from women. Do I scare you?”

“No, but how I feel around you scares me.”

“I don’t know what that means, but I’ll back off.” He scoots to the other end of the couch, leaving me alone. “See, I can behave.”

As I gaze over at him, my heart pounds in my chest. I don’t like that he moved. Needing more courage to allow my body to override my rational brain, I take a long drink from the cold beer bottle.

“I don’t want you to back off. At least, not entirely.”

“Are you saying I may return to my previous sitting position?” Every sentence that leaves his mouth is somehow charming.

“Yes, you may return.” Scooting back over, he drapes his arm around me, resting it on the back of the couch. “I’m not used to liking guys who flirt with me. You’re the first in a long damn time.”  

“Flirting? Why would I flirt with an intelligent, thoughtful, beautiful woman like you? No, I prefer the strays. They lack obedience, but damn, they’re wild.”

I swat my hand back at his chest. “I think you have a gift.”

“What’s that?”

“Everything you say is charming and exciting, even the parts that shouldn’t be.”

Turning my head to look up at him, I watch his grin fall away as he stares at the TV in front of us. It’s on, but the volume’s muted.

“I think you have a gift, too. I’ve only known you a little over twenty-four hours, and I’m already worrying about how I’ll feel when you leave.” Smiling at me again, he points his beer toward me. “That, Teach, is a gift.”

I bat my lashes at him and cover my chest.

“Aww, do all your strays get to hear sweet words like that?”

“I’m not throwing you a bone. I like you.”

“Oh, well, then I guess that wasn’t something you’re used to saying, either.”

“Nope. A first for sure.” Sighing, like this situation is uncomfortable for him, he takes another drink.

I nudge his shoulder with mine. “OK, I like you better when you’re not spilling your darkest secrets. Let’s get in the hot tub, but you have to let me get inside it first, like you said, and no peeking.”

“I promise I won’t look.” He grins again, and it’s a relief. “I’ll be a perfect gentleman until the minute you tell me not to be.”

I roll my eyes. “See, that shouldn’t be charming when I only just met you, but it is. You’re trouble with a capital T.”

“Hey, that’s better than being called an asshole with a capital A. Let me get the hot tub ready.”

 

***

 

I can’t believe I’m really doing this. Is erratic behavior normal after suffering a traumatic event? Yes, it is, and I should remember.

A decade ago, I did more than one stupid thing while suffering through a traumatic situation, and that only created more trauma.

Once I’m naked and the bubbling water is up to my neck, I yell, “You can come out now!” Fuck, this seems wrong, but I’m sick of only ever doing what’s right. I’m tired of following the rules and never having fun.

Jake walks out on the terrace, and I swallow. I’m gazing up at the most fit, handsome man. Shit, I’m in trouble. He’s in a pair of light blue swim trunks, my favorite color, and Lord, his body.

The shape of his toned thighs is teasing me at the bottom of his trunks, and his chest and rippled abs are putting on a show as he walks around, retrieving towels from a cabinet and laying them on a chair.

He lifts his muscular arms to turn music on at an intercom box by the door, and I gasp to get my breath. I feel like my head’s already beneath the water, and I’m drowning.

Oh, my word. I’m naked in a hot tub, and the most gorgeous man is about to get inside it with me. A man I’ve not even known for two days! I need Carrie. I should’ve called her first for a pep talk.

As Jake sticks a leg over the side, I close my eyes and imagine what my best friend would say to me.

Don’t be a chicken shit, Sailor. Your libido is in its prime, and you’re doing it a disservice by not using it. Put some hours on that body of yours. He has an elephant trunk for a reason–for you to ride it.

Jesus. Her words aren’t helping a bit.

Once he’s in the water, he drags a wet hand over his face. The moon and terrace lights give a shimmer to the droplets of water hanging on to his long, dark lashes.

“I was wrong before… Now you look scared of me,” he says.

“I’m not scared of you. I’m only scared of what I might want to do with you.”

“Might, huh. I’m not a fan of that word when it comes to decision-making. I’m not an indecisive man, so I don’t like indecisive responses.”

“You’re honest.”

“Always.”

“OK, I’m scared of what I want to do with you.”

“Why? Because it would require breaking the rules you’ve set for yourself?”

“Exactly.”

“The good news is that you can break them if you want. There’s no one stopping you.”

“That’s where you’re wrong. My conscience does a real good job of telling me what to do and not to do.”

“Damn, Sailor. You think too much. I thought those two beers would help, but I don’t know.”

“They did. I’m naked in a hot tub with a hot guy. That’s progress, and since I’m being bolder, I have a question. What exactly is your relationship status?”

“I’m single.”

“Same. I wondered, because the products in the upstairs bathroom were intriguing.”

“How so?”

“Well, for starters, the baggies of travel size toiletries were most interesting.”

The three shades of crimson he’s turning can’t only be from the hot water.

“We take pride in being superb hosts to our guests, providing the comforts of home.”

“You’re so bad.”

“And from what I hear, it’s so good when I am.”

I giggle like some stupid teenager, falling for his shit. Or is it shit? He seems honest to me.

“How are you this upbeat when you’re also a homicide detective?”

Shrugging, he moves his hands through the water, making waves amidst the bubbles.

“Having fun away from work makes my time on the job more tolerable. I guess I try to live my life to the fullest for the dead, as well. They can’t enjoy their lives any longer, so the rest of us shouldn’t take ours for granted. As for the pieces of shit who die … I don’t feel bad for them.”

“Insightful words.”

“Words that explain why I think you should live a little. Why are you holding back? I bet it’s been forever since you slept with someone.”

I splash water at him, and he shakes his head to get it off his face.

“That’s really none of your business, but I’ll admit it’s been a long time. I had a couple of boyfriends in college, and I’ve briefly dated a few guys since, but never have I been in a serious relationship. At least, not the kind you hope could last forever.”

“Instead of talking about forever, let’s talk about now.”

“I’m down for that.”

“If rules and consequences were nonexistent, what would you do right at this moment?”

In a breath, I feel overheated. Maybe it’s from the hot tub, or the beers, or maybe it’s because the man across from me is staring into my eyes like I’m going to be his dessert.

“If I were willing to break my rules, I’d tell you to come over here and kiss me.”

“Break your rules, Sailor. Even if only for a few minutes, I’ll make you forget all that you lost today.”

My stomach twists as my pulse quickens to the point I feel it in my neck. I choose to live in the moment, even if it’s only for a few minutes like he said.

“OK. I want you to come over here and kiss me.”