I’ve waited so long to hear these words come out of her mouth. Just the thought of having her in that way has my mind working on overdrive. She says she wants this and for the life of me I do too, but I’m scared this is all going to be too much for her. What if she regrets it afterwards? What if she pushes me away even more because we rushed into things? All of these are valid concerns, but looking into her eyes I knew what I had to do.

Moving away from her slightly, I brought my hand back to her cheek caressing it with my thumb. I gently lifted her chin so her eyes would meet mine again.

“Are you sure you want to do this? Are you ready?” I had to know these answers before I did anything with her.

Breathing deeply, she responded the words I was hoping to hear.

“Yes. I’ve never been surer of anything in my life. I trust you with everything I am and I know you would never hurt me.” Biting her bottom lip, she looked nervous to ask me something.

“What’s wrong? You know you can ask me anything right?”

She nodded, still looking unsure. She closed her eyes and took a few deep breaths before opening them back up.

“I want to do this, but can we just go slowly. I’m not scared for the reasons you’re thinking. I haven’t let anyone touch me that way willingly or otherwise since that night happened and I don’t know what my reactions will be to anything we may do.”

My heart was beating out of my chest just looking at this beautifully broken woman sitting in front of me. I made a vow right then and there that I would help her overcome this and any other obstacle thrown at us. I also realized that my feelings for this woman were stronger than ever.

I gently cupped her face, making her look up at me, needing her to see the feelings as well as hear them coming out of my mouth. “We’ll go as slow as you need. There’s no rush. I want you to know that even if all we do is kiss that I’m not expecting anything more. Let’s just see where it leads and go from there, okay?”

She looked relieved and nodded her response. I grabbed her gently into a hug. Her muscles tightened at first but then relaxed a little. Whispering in her ear, I stated, “How about we lay on the bed and you just let me hold you until you’re ready for more? How does this sound?”

“That sounds like a great plan.” Her voice was trembling, but she gave a weak smile.

Gently scooping her into my arms, I carried her over to the bed. We laid down and I rolled her onto her side and got in. Being this close to her felt amazing, but I was nervous because I have never done slow before. I knew I could do this because I had to.

I wanted to show this woman what she meant to me and that she could trust me with what she’s asking. She’s so much stronger than she gives herself credit for. I know that she’s nervous and scared out of her mind even though she will never admit how much. Going slow is what will help her begin to fully heal and that’s what I’m going to do.

Reaching up, I pushed the pieces of hair behind her ear that had fallen in front of her face and cupped her cheek. She surprised me by leaning into my touch. God what this woman makes me feel is indescribable. She has no clue what she does to me. I tucked my finger under her chin so she would look up at me and slowly brought my lips to hers.

God her lips were so soft. I started the kiss slow letting her know that we weren’t rushing into anything. I filled the kiss with as much passion as I could and started to trace her bottom lip with my tongue hoping to be invited in. She hesitated at first, but then opened her mouth to let my tongue inside. She tasted of white wine and tequila and it was taking all of my willpower to not devour her mouth and make this kiss more. We kissed until we were both breathing deeply and I pulled back to look into her eyes. I needed to know what she wanted before I made a move to take this further.

“What do you want, sweetheart?”

“I don’t want you to stop. I want more. I don’t want you to question whether you should continue or stop. I just want you. Only you,” she stated, while trying to get her breathing under control.

“Whenever something doesn’t feel comfortable or you want to stop just let me know. If you don’t say anything, I’ll keep going. I’m gonna give you what you need and make you feel so good baby.”

She shocked me by pulling me by my hair and crashing her lips to mine. Her kisses were unraveling my control. I’ve never felt this way just with a kiss. I brought my hand and rested it on her hip, testing how she felt with me touching her. Shockingly, she never even flinched. I took this as my cue to keep going. I found the bottom of her tank top and put my hand underneath resting my fingertips on her side. Her skin was so soft and I loved that she was finally letting me touch her this way.

I slowly started rubbing my fingertips up and down her side going higher with each stroke. Our kisses began to get more heated and she relaxed her body into mine. She was so close to me now. When my hand reached the bottom of her breast, she let out a moan in between kisses. My touch was affecting her, but that moan confirmed just how much.

I broke away from her lips and started to kiss my way down her jaw making my way to her ear. I pulled the bottom of her earlobe into my mouth gently grazing it with my teeth.

“I love the way you feel. You have no idea what you do to me,” I whispered into her ear.

She shivered her response to my words and goose bumps appeared on her skin.

“Please don’t stop. I need you.”

Her words were unraveling me. I continued my path of kisses down her neck to her shoulder and her breathing became more erratic. I pulled my hand from underneath her shirt and she groaned at the loss of contact. I moved my hand to the strap of her tank top and pulled the strap down her arm. She complied with my advances and pulled her arm through the hole.

She shocked me by pushing me back. I knew I moved too quickly. Shit. I didn’t want to fuck this up. Her next move shocked me even more when she removed her tank top revealing her bare breasts. Holy shit this woman was beautiful. She laid back down, but instead of being on her side where I thought she would be more comfortable; she laid on her back, tugging on my shirt.

I was hesitant to give her what she clearly wanted because I didn’t want her freaking out on me, but I sat up and pulled my shirt off and gently laid down on top of her. I didn’t want to put too much weight on her, so I made sure that my arms held the weight of the top half of my body.

“You’re so beautiful,” I whispered in her ear and trailed more kisses down her neck. I continued kissing my way down her body making my way to the valley in between her breasts. She moaned and brought her hands to my head running her fingers through my hair. I looked up at her to judge her reaction to my kisses leading towards her breasts and sought out her nipple. Her eyes gave me all I needed to know.

I brought my tongue out and circled her nipple before bringing it into my mouth sucking it softly. Her back arched off the bed, and her fingers tangled into my hair, pushing my head further into her body. Her reactions told me to continue, so I made my way over to her other breast showing it the same amount of attention. Her moans were driving me crazy and making me harder by the second. I knew she needed me to take it slow, but God it was killing me.

I continued kissing my way down her body until I reached the top of her shorts. I was scared that she wasn’t ready, but she told me she would tell me if she needed to stop, so I continued by sitting up and gently tugging her shorts and panties down her legs. She didn’t stop me. Kissing my way up her legs, alternating between the two, I could smell her arousal and it was intoxicating. This woman was going to be my undoing. The feelings that were arising within me were amazing and scary at the same time. I knew I loved her even though I had never spoken those words to her and right now I loved her even more.

As I made my way up to her thighs, she was quivering with need.

“Mattie.”

I looked up into her eyes, but continued kissing her thighs. “Yes, baby.”

‘Ummmm…..no one’s ever …. Ummmm.”

“No one’s ever what?”

“I’ve never had anyone put their mouth down there before.”

Well, fuck me. Holy shit.

“Do you want me to stop? We don’t have to do anything you aren’t comfortable with. You know that, right? We can stop right now.” Please don’t make me stop, I thought to myself.

“It’s not that I want you to stop, but there’s something else I need to tell you.”

She looked so nervous to say what she was about to say and started biting on her bottom lip. I sat up and brought her up with me. Holding her closely, I whispered, “You can tell me anything. Don’t ever doubt that.”

“I just don’t think that you understood me earlier when I said you were the first person I willingly let touch me like this.”

“What are you trying to say?” I had my suspicions, but I wanted to hear her say the words.

“I’m saying that I don’t count what happened as anything. I’m saying that I want you to be my first.”

My heart was pounding at her confession. God this woman is even more amazing than I realized. She trusted me this much and I wasn’t about to let her down.

“Do you want to continue where we left off or do you want to stop?”

“I want to continue. I want to feel your mouth on me everywhere.”

I was going to make sure her first real time making love was what it should have been. I was going to ruin her for any other man because this woman was mine and no one else’s even if she didn’t know that yet.

I lightly pushed her back onto the bed and spread her legs again. We were going to start right where we left off and hopefully she wouldn’t stop me. Please don’t let her stop me, I silently pleaded to myself.

Kissing my way back up her thighs, I hooked my arms underneath each leg and settled my hands on her hips to keep her where I wanted her. This was a bold move all things considered, but I rolled with it.

Making my way to the juncture between her thighs, I noticed that she was completely shaved. Her lips glistening with her desire made me harder. I was even more turned on even though I didn’t think that was possible and even more turned on than I thought was possible.

When I placed a kiss on the outside of her lips, her hips bucked off of the bed. Using my tongue, I lightly stroked in between them and lapped at her entrance before making my way to her clit, gently circling it with my tongue several times before sucking it into my mouth causing her to cry out. I kept sucking and twirling my tongue around her swollen clit causing more moans of delight to come from her.

“Please, Mattie. I need you.”

“Shhh, baby. I’ve got you,” I whispered and continued my assault on her.

She was getting close and I only wanted to add to her pleasure. I gently stroked my finger between her folds causing her to clench her thighs together as I slowly pushed my finger inside. She was so tight and I knew that if I didn’t want her to be in pain from my dick intruding in her snug hole she needed to be ready for me. I slowly started working my finger in and out of her and she moaned loudly. Adding another finger, I pulled her clit into my mouth, sucking it hard. She came apart and I continued until she pleaded for me to stop because she couldn’t take anymore.

I kissed my way up to her body after wiping her juices off of my face. Slowly making my way up her body until my lips met hers. She reached for the belt on my pants and quickly maneuvered it open and unbuttoned them. Our kisses were becoming erotic, like those you only seen in movies. She pushed my jeans and boxers down with her feet and I helped her get them the rest of the way off.

I couldn’t believe that we were both lying here naked in her bed about to make love. I couldn’t contain myself much longer. Our need for each other was becoming unbearable and I needed to know that she was sure about going all the way before we went too far to stop.

I pulled away from our kiss breathless.

Breathing heavily, I looked down into her beautiful eyes. I could see her want and need for me, but most importantly I could see how deep her feelings ran for me even though she’s never spoken about them.

“Em, are you sure you want this?”

“Please stop talking and make love to me. I couldn’t imagine not making love to you right now. I need you, please,” she pleaded.

All of my thoughts went out the window with those words. I crashed my lips down onto hers and positioned my dick at her entrance. She was so hot and wet that I almost forgot that I needed to go slow instead of pounding into her like I wanted to.

Ever so slowly, I pushed myself inside of her making several small thrusts before finally making my way fully inside of her and stopped. I just needed to feel all of her for a moment before I lost all control. She moved her hips up and that was all it took.

She tugged at my hair pulling me closer into her mouth. She was making the sexiest moans and I had to fight the orgasm that was building. She felt so amazing even though we were moving slowly. This was too perfect to form words or thoughts. All I wanted to do was feel her. She started to move her hips faster and I took that as a cue that she wanted and needed more. I started thrusting faster and harder into her. I pulled back so that I could look at her. Her eyes were closed and her lips were parted.

“Em, look at me.”

She opened her eyes and it was almost my undoing. The look of pure need set me on fire. She grabbed at my back, scraping her nails down as she went. My thrusts became erratic as her pussy started tightening down on my dick. She was so close. I sped up and grabbed her leg, pulling it up so I could go deeper inside of her.

“Oh God yes, Mattie,” she screamed as her orgasm swept through her. Two more thrusts and I let go inside of her. Our eyes locked on each other the whole time.

I pulled out of her even though I really just wanted to stay inside. After tonight, I knew right then and there that I would never want or need another woman as much as I would her.

I lay down beside her, pulling her with me so that her head was lying on top of me. She curled her body next to mine as she sighed. I wrapped my arm around her and caressed her back.

“That was the most mind-blowing experience of my life. You’re amazing,” I stated tenderly. I needed her to know that I wasn’t going anywhere after this. I just didn’t know how to form those words after what I just experienced with her.

“I never knew it could be like that. I’m so glad that I waited for you. Thank you for not giving up on me and thank you for taking things slow.”

She pulled me closer to her. I could feel her lips form a smile against my chest and I knew that she didn’t regret what we just did. Something was off though. I felt like I forgot something and then it hit me.

“Oh shit,” I screamed out.

“What’s wrong?” She mumbled.

“Please tell me you are on the pill, shot, or some form of birth control.”

“No, I’m not. Why?”

“Because we were so caught up in the moment that I didn’t use a condom. I’m so sorry.”

Oh my God. She was going to hate me now and regret everything. How could I fuck up so badly? No wonder she felt so good.

She propped herself up on her elbow and pulled my face so that I could look at her.

“Mattie, it’s not solely your fault. I forgot too. Let’s not worry about anything right now okay?”

“I’m clean I swear to you, but what if you get pregnant? Please don’t hate me right now, but we can’t just ignore the possibility that it could have just happened.”

“I trust you. Like I said let’s not worry about that until we have to. I don’t think it’s the right time for me to get pregnant, but we will deal with that when the time comes okay? Just know that I’m not mad at you.”

She laid her head back down on my chest and cuddled next to me. This woman ceases to amaze me. I wrapped my arm around her, pulling her closer to me, and we drifted off to sleep.