Today is the day where I put my big girl panties on and go out with him. He’s texted a few times over the past few days with links to jokes or some other form of humor. It’s nice that he can keep the conversation light. I think he senses that I need to keep things simple for which I’m very grateful. If he started asking the wrong questions, I don’t think I could handle it. Sophia knows the most about me out of everyone here, but all that information is lies. Lying isn’t always right, but in my case it was necessary. IF the truth ever comes out, I hope that everyone will understand that I did what I had to do to protect myself. The lies did get easier to tell, but no one had asked questions about me for years. The good thing about the people in my life is that they have taken everything at face value. They didn’t keep questioning me to try and get more information. I have a feeling that isn’t going to be the case with him though. He’s a detective for crying out loud. He’s trained to spot liars and to keep questioning until he’s satisfied. I need to come up with a plan to keep him from trying to dig further into my past. I just hope that I can keep up with a storyline that I’ve told everyone else. All it would take for my world to come crumbling down is to slip up once. I can’t have that because I’ve worked too hard to get to get to this place just to have one person ruin it all. Keeping him at arm’s length will allow us to get closer without the possibility of me revealing too much. He’s on a need to know basis and right now he only would be told the basics.

I need to get out of this bed, but I can’t seem to make myself. The time on the clock suggested that I still had a couple of hours before he would get here. Oh, the dilemma I was in. Faking an illness or saying something came up were options, but did I want to back out? He was trying to weasel his way into my life and on one side it was annoying, but on the other it was nice to have someone that seemed to be interested in me. It wasn’t a date or anything. He had already been informed of that. He made me feel safe when I was around him. He just had that vibe about him. It’s been so long since I felt that way that I didn’t know how to handle it. When I first moved here, I was always on edge with good reason. I just needed to make it very clear to him that being friends was all I could handle.

My phone chimed indicating a text message. It was from Mattie.

Mattie: Is noon okay with you?

Me: Sounds good to me.

Mattie: C U soon.

I reluctantly got myself out of the bed and went to the bathroom to shower and brush my teeth. I undressed and turned the water on as hot as I could stand it. Scalding hot showers always helped ease my tension and clear my mind. I got in and just let the feel of the water consume me. Fifteen minutes had gone by before I started to wash my body and hair. I knew that I was stalling, but I needed this in order to be able to function today. I stepped out of the shower and grabbed the two towels from the towel rack and began drying off. This day was already starting to drain me, and it hadn’t even begun. I wrapped a towel around myself and put my hair up in the other. I brushed my teeth and then went into the bedroom.

I went through the closet and found the comfiest pair of jeans I owned and a sweater. After I’d put on my bra and panties, I saw my reflection in the mirror. Images from my past flooded me. I typically didn’t look in the mirror unless I was fully clothed for this reason. I couldn’t stand to look at myself naked. Every time I did, I would see the how I looked in the pictures that were taken. I hated that I had them in my head, but the fact of the matter is, that they were imbedded in my brain. I couldn’t get them out even if I tried. That’s why I avoided situations that would cause them to arise. I turned away to try and get back into the right frame of mind. I quickly put on my jeans and sweater, then grabbed some socks. He said casual that’s what he was going to get. I put on my socks and then headed to the bathroom to finish getting ready. Once my hair was blow dried and put into a ponytail, I went into the kitchen to fix a much-needed cup of coffee. Screw the makeup today. I never needed it anyway. I slowly drank it and let the caffeine sink in. Peaking at the clock, I noticed that he’d be here any minute. I took longer to get ready than I thought. After I had put on my tennis shoes, I grabbed a coat from the closet. The weather for today was supposed to be sunny, but the wind would make it feel colder than it was. I hoped that I liked where he was taking me. If not, it’s going to be a long day.

* * *

I can’t believe Saturday is already here. I was sitting at the kitchen table going over some emails on my phone while I drank a cup of coffee. This week has flown by. Staying busy at work has helped with that. That asshole was still eluding the police, but what he didn’t know was that we’re getting closer to catching him. We had eyes and ears everywhere, and that’s paid off. It also helped that his friends didn’t like what he did to Mia, and they were willing to assist us in any way. I needed to get work off the brain and focus on today.

She has consumed all of my thoughts when I wasn’t working, and I was glad that I’d be able to be around her today. I’d found the perfect spot where I was taking her. The Kennebec River Rail Trail was beautiful. It was amazing the one and only time I’d been there. It would allow us to walk around and view the water. It was also peaceful but out in the open, which I knew would help her feel safer. Another good thing is that the weather was cooperating today, and there wasn’t a rain cloud in site. It may be on the chilly side, but it’d be worth it to be able to get some fresh air and enjoy the scenery.

I went into the kitchen to make the picnic that I planned on bringing. I made our chicken salad sandwiches and gathered the grapes, a different assortment of chips, and some waters. I really hoped she liked what I was packing. Not knowing anything about her or having anyone to ask made me have to wing it. Maybe I needed an in with Sophia. Jeremiah could possibly know, but he was on shift at the firehouse, and I didn’t want to bother him with something so petty. I made a mental note to ask him in the future. For now, I was just going to go with my instinct. I put all of the food and the waters into the cooler and added a couple of ice packs to keep everything cold. I collected a blanket from the closet so we could sit in the grass while we ate. I went back into the kitchen and cleaned up the mess I’d made.

I got ready wearing a pair of faded blue jeans and a fitted Under Armor shirt. I put on my socks and shoes, grabbed the cooler, and headed for the door. Once the apartment was locked up, I made my way to my truck. It was my baby. I plugged in my phone once I got in and put on some music. I hoped she liked country because that’s all that was being played.

On the drive over, all I could do was hope that she could handle going out with me somewhere. She had her reservations about people she didn’t know, but I was praying that she knew I was one of the good guys. I made a mental note to not push her for information. It’s a long shot, but a man can hope, right?

I was finally on her street and took a minute to take in the surroundings. She lived in a really nice neighborhood. I almost wanted to know how she could afford it. When I brought her home, I couldn’t take in the surroundings because of the dark and now that I have, I was wishing I could have afforded to live over here. I turned into the driveway, put my truck in park, and shut off the engine. Her home was well maintained. It wasn’t as big as some of the others, but from the outside it looked like it suited her well. It was a brick rancher with blue shutters and even had a blue door. The flower beds had an assortment of shrubs, and I could tell that flowers would bloom in the spring. I was trying not to picture her out in the yard taking care of the weeding and getting all sweaty. I needed to stop thinking this way. She said just friends, and I couldn’t push her. The only problem was that when I was around her, I couldn’t seem to keep my logical brain from wanting more. There was just something about her. She wasn’t my usual type because I went after the confident ones, but her shyness got to me every time. I don’t have a clue why either. It’s the wariness in her smile that just pulls me towards her. It’s almost as if she doesn’t even know what it could do to a man.

Wiping my hands across my eyes, I pulled myself out of my thoughts and got out. I hoped that she allowed me to help her into it even though she could use the side rails. My Chevrolet Silverado had a five-inch lift kit on it with thirty-three inch tires. I loved it, and it suited me just fine.

I walked down the path to the front door and took a second to wipe my palms down the front of my pants. My hands never got clammy. What was wrong with me? Shaking away the thought, my nervousness started to set in. I hoped she didn’t back out. Once I had obtained enough courage, I rang the doorbell and waited.

Moments later, I could hear her walking towards the door. She must have taken a second to check through the peephole, and she unlocked it. Once she opened it, and her eyes met mine, I almost threw caution to the wind. She was always beautiful, but today the vibe she was putting off made her even more beautiful if that was possible. It told me that she was just as nervous as I was. The funny thing was that I couldn’t figure out why her nervousness would affect me that way. But the fact remained, that it did. I wished it didn’t because I was always the kind of man that acted on what he wanted and pursued it ruthlessly. I couldn’t do that with her though. I had to reign in my approach. Get it together man, my subconscious screamed at me. My silence was probably making the situation even more awkward than it already was.

“Hey, sweetheart. You ready for an adventure?” I needed her relaxed and I knew a public place would be the best way for that to happen. I just hoped she liked the outdoors because I never thought of that when I planned this all out.

“I’m a little nervous considering I have no clue where you’re taking me. Are you going to tell me now or torture me some more?” She laughed. God that laugh was going to be trouble for me, as well.

“Oh no. You aren’t getting off that easy. I’m not telling. You’ll just have to wait and see. Are you ready to go?”

“All set. Let me just grab my coat and purse.” When she went back inside, it gave me a moment to catch my breath. She was going to drive me insane. Insane with wanting her that is.

She came back seconds later with the items in her hands. She locked up the house and when she turned back around we were almost touching. Both of our breaths caught in our throats. She may not admit it, but I could tell she felt this connection too. This was getting more confusing by the second. How could she get to me this way and we’ve barely been in the same vicinity? I’ll take Confusing as Ever for 200 Alex! I laughed to myself and caught her gaze. She was looking at me questioningly and probably thought I was crazy now. Great.

“You okay over there, Texas?” That nickname really pissed me off. Why, oh why, did she have to taunt me now?

“I thought you were going to stop calling me that.”

“Well, I figured that since you’re going to torture me for however long it takes us to get where we’re going, that I’d torment you as well.” I groaned inwardly. She was already torturing me and she didn’t even realize it. This was going to be a long twenty minute drive that’s for sure.

I motioned for her to head to the truck and as we walked down the path to the driveway, she stopped in front of the truck with a funny look on her face.

“How am I supposed to get in this thing, Texas?” She asked.

I could have told her that she could help herself, but what was the fun in that? I opened the door to the passenger side and grinned at the thought of touching her.

I turned back towards her and she looked even more confused. Her height was a bit of a challenge in this situation and considering she wasn’t wearing heels, she couldn’t be any taller than around five feet five inches.

“I can help you in the truck, sweetheart.” I moved towards her and went to put my hands on her hips so I could hoist her up into the truck, but stopped before I could actually touch her. She tried to hide the fact that she tensed at the thought of me touching her, but I’d seen it. It made me have more questions that I knew probably would take her a while to get her to answer. My questioning gaze told her what I intended to do, and she nodded her head. Placing my hands on her hips, I lifted her up. I turned so I had the right angle to place her inside and sat her in the seat. She almost looked relieved when I took my hands off of her. Judging the look on her face, I could tell she was trying not to panic. What happened to this beautiful woman? I let out a breath and moved around the front of the truck. Once I was inside, I started the engine. I knew she needed a moment, so I didn’t speak. I just turned the radio back on and let Luke Bryan’s song “That’s my kind of night” play through the speakers.

I put the truck in reverse, backed out of the driveway, and started heading towards our destination. When I stopped at a stop sign, I nervously looked in her direction. I was almost scared to because if she still had that look on her face, I didn’t know if I could hold back asking her why she tensed up. What I saw surprised me. She had a grin on her face. It seems as though she had collected her thoughts enough to let whatever went through them to disappear. This woman just continued to amaze me. How she managed to gain back her composure that quickly surprised me. I wasn’t going to question it though. I just wanted it to mean that our day wasn’t going to be affected by whatever happened.

“What are you grinning at over there?” I asked playfully.

“I don’t think you really want to know!” What the hell? I did want to know.

“I think I do!”

“I was thinking boys and their toys, Texas.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“You and this big truck. What does a man need this big of a truck for, huh?” She had the gall to smile and try to hide the chuckle that escaped. She had jokes. This was a good thing. I could work with jokes.

“I’m from Texas, hunny. Everything is bigger in Texas or have you not heard that before.”

She looked like she was hesitating in giving her response. I wondered why, but then she spoke.

“Is that so? And what pray tell is bigger in Texas?” I could easily come back with something not so appropriate to say, but I didn’t think she would appreciate my form of humor.

“Our trucks for one thing. Let’s not forget our football teams either.”

“I can see that, but in my experience people are overcompensating when they buy enormous things,” she laughed.

How the hell could I not take that the wrong way? It’s official. She’s trying to kill me.

“I plead the fifth on that note.”

She busted out laughing more than she was before. Oh dear, God she probably thinks I am overcompensating. That couldn’t be further than the truth. I had to bite my tongue from saying what I wanted to say. I also had to stop the thoughts of when, and yes I said when, she found out how I wasn’t overcompensating at all.

Our easy conversation held and before I knew it, I was pulling into the parking lot for the Kennebec River Rail Trail. I parked the truck and shut off the engine. I stared out the windshield because I didn’t want to look over at her. It also gave her a second to register our surroundings. I gave myself a pep talk telling myself to get my head out of my ass and looked over at her.

She was looking around through the window taking it all in. She looked like she was in awe of where we were. I couldn’t take my eyes off her face. The expression it held suggested she’d never been to a place like this before. It was amazing from the one experience I had.

I grazed her arm with my fingers to get her attention and she about jumped out of her skin. I wished she would stop getting freaked out by my touch. It was bothering me, but only because I wanted to know why so I could help. After taking a breath, she turned to face me.

“What do you think of our destination?”

“It’s definitely not where I was expecting you to bring me. It’s beautiful out here. I’ve read about this place, but haven’t had time to come.” At least she was smiling as she replied.

“Just where did you think I was going to take you?”

“Somewhere typical. To the movies, lunch, a coffee house. Not on a hiking trail that’s for sure.”

“I wanted us to be able to enjoy the beautiful day. I also wanted to do something that you wouldn’t think I would do. Looks like my mission was accomplished. Shall we?”

“We shall.”

I grabbed my jacket and the cooler, opened the door, and got out of the truck. Making my way over to her side, I noticed that she’d already gotten out and put her jacket on. I wondered if the reason she didn’t let me help her was because she didn’t want me to touch her again. I needed to let it go so it didn’t ruin my time with her. She might end up not wanting to hang out with me again if I started acting weird. Smiling at her, I motioned for her to start walking towards the beginning of the trail.

We began walking in a peaceful silence. It was gorgeous here as well as relaxing. We walked side by side for about ten minutes without saying anything or looking at each other. I wanted to talk, but I didn’t know how to start. Then she spoke.

“Thank you for bringing me here, Mattie. It’s beautiful. I love walking by the water and just taking it all in.” She took a deep breath through her nose and exhaled through her mouth breathing in the fresh air.

“You don’t have to thank me. I’m glad I thought of such a good place. How was your week?”

“It was horrible. I was swamped with meetings. They were just never ending every day. I also volunteered at the teen center on two of those days and worried about Mia. It was exhausting to say the least. How was yours?”

“Hectic. Lots of investigating that got us close, but not close enough. It was frustrating more than anything. I want justice for her just as much as you do and it pains me knowing that I have to leave for the day without the case being solved.”

“You’re an overachiever then. I like that. Thanks for working so hard on her case. She didn’t deserve what happened to her. No woman does, let alone a teenager. I hope you catch him soon.”

“Me too. Okay, enough about work. Let’s talk about something else.”

“Like what?”

I looked over at her, but kept walking. Play it cool, Matt. I needed to remind myself that I couldn’t go in for the kill until she felt comfortable with me. That took time, but I could be patient.

“How old are you?” I knew that men shouldn’t ask women that, but I wanted to know.

“I’m twenty-six. And you?”

“I’m twenty-eight, but most days I feel older,” I replied. That seemed to amuse her because she giggled.

“Don’t we all?” she asked still giggling.

“Yeah, I guess we all feel older than our age at times. What do you like to do for fun?”

“I read, volunteer at the teen center, and recently, I’ve started going back to the shooting range. How about you?”

That’s interesting. She didn’t say anything about being social with anyone. Maybe she didn’t want to reveal too much too soon.

“I like to run, go to the shooting range, and listen to music. Looks like we have at least one thing in common,” I laughed. Thank God for that. When I’d seen her there before, I didn’t know if it was a hobby or if she was just blowing off steam.

“No, we actually have two things in common. I love music, as well. All kinds,” she countered to my response. Well, we could work with those two things and build from there. At least that’s what I was hoping.

We walked for about a mile asking questions back and forth. I learned that her passion for music ran deeper than she originally told me, her favorite movie was Halloween, her favorite color was blue, and her favorite time of year was the summer. We had a lot in common. I was enjoying the easy way that we seemed to be able to talk to each other once the awkwardness wore off.

I had stuck to asking the basic questions because I wanted her to be comfortable. She seemed relieved that I hadn’t asked anything harder than that. I would keep following her lead and see where the conversation led.

About half a mile later, I was starting to get hungry and wondered if she was feeling the same way.

“Are you ready to eat yet?”

“Sure. I’m starving.”

Walking towards one of the grassy sections that were close by, I turned back and grabbed her hand to lead her over to where I wanted to set up the picnic. She seemed surprised by my actions, but she didn’t pull away. Thank goodness for small miracles. We may be getting somewhere.

I found a spot that was far enough away from everyone so we could continue our conversation and eat. Reluctantly letting go of her hand, I slid the cooler off of my shoulder and sat it on the ground. I unzipped it and grabbed the picnic blanket. She helped me spread it out on the ground. Once we had sat down, I started setting out what I’d packed. Once everything was laid out, I looked up at her and she had an amused look on her face.

“What’s that look for?”

“I’m just shocked you packed such a nice picnic. Did you have help?” She was mocking me. I couldn’t do anything but shake my head and smile.

“No, I didn’t have help. I hope you like chicken salad.”

“I love it. Thank you.”

“Well, then let’s dig in.”

I handed her a sandwich and opened the containers of grapes and cheese. She picked the bag of pretzels I packed and I picked the bag of Doritos. We ate in silence for a few minutes when I heard her speak.

“How did you end up in Maine?”

Okay. She was going to start with the hard questions.

“I needed a change of scenery. Where are you originally from?”

“I moved here from Arizona going on three years now.”

“Why did you move to Maine?”

“The globe said so,” she stated laughing.

I almost choked on my sandwich. “And how exactly did a globe tell you to move here?”

“I decided the best way to choose a new destination was to spin the globe and go where my finger landed.” That’s interesting.

“It’s kind of funny that you said that because that’s exactly how I chose to move here as well.”

“I guess it was fate that we met then.” Yeah, it was something like that. Maybe we were meant to meet.

“How does your family feel about you living so far away?”

“They’re gone. I left everything that reminded me of them behind and moved here,” she replied while picking at a grape. Well shit. I wasn’t expecting that response.

“I’m so sorry. I didn’t know or I wouldn’t have brought it up.”

“I know and it’s ok. It’s been a long time and I’m used to being on my own now. Can we talk about something else though, please? How does your family feel about you moving so far away? Do you have any brothers or sisters?”

“They understood when I told why I was leaving and that I needed a change. My mom and dad were supportive. My brothers, not so much. Their names are Mitch and Dustin. They fought me on it, but in the end, gave me their blessing.” I couldn’t reveal too much here either. The subject needed to change soon.

“Wow. You sound like you have a wonderful family. I was an only child. I couldn’t imagine how it was growing up with siblings.” She seemed lost. Her voice was cracking. I know this is hard for her so I decided to be the one to change it to something she’d be more comfortable talking about.

“Why did you choose juvenile probation?” I stuck with work related questions because they were safer for now.

“I wanted to help kids who lost their path and redirect them to a better one. I figured if I helped at least one child get their life back on track, then I did my job well. Why’d you want to be a cop?”

“I guess I just wanted to help people. I got tired of people getting their charges dropped because of a technicality in the way the police work was conducted and wanted to change that. I want to make sure that victims of crimes get the justice that they deserve instead of fearing for their safety because the person who did something to them wasn’t behind bars where they belonged.” I absolutely hated when criminals walked free, but what I loved most was talking people off of the ledge, she just didn’t need to know that part.

“You sound very passionate. I’m glad we have someone as hard working as you seem to be on our police force. It comforts me knowing that criminals will be caught.”

I pulled my phone out of my pocket to check the time and was surprised to see that another hour had passed. It was getting close to three o’clock.

“Are you ready to head back yet? It’s getting chillier out here.”

“Yeah, it is. I hadn’t noticed until you said something though.”

We picked up our trash and walked it over to a nearby trash can. We packed up the picnic blanket and put it back into the cooler along with the empty containers. Once I put the cooler strap on my shoulder, we began our walk back to the truck. I hesitated, but reached for her hand anyway. When she didn’t pull it away for the second time, I took that as a good sign.

* * *

I looked down at where our hands were joined and couldn’t believe that I was letting him actually touch me. The most shocking part was that I wanted him to. I had to stop this before he got the wrong idea. I just didn’t know how or if I had the will power to look him in the eyes and tell him that being friends were all we would ever be.

The walk back to the truck ended before I knew where the time had gone. He was a true gentleman. Was this just a southern thing or was it just who he was? He opened my door and looked as though he was thinking about what to do next. I reluctantly let go of his hand and turned to face him. As long as I knew it was coming, I could handle him touching me. Plus, I didn’t know how to get into this monstrosity he called a truck.

“I think I need your help getting into this thing.”

“Sure thing, sweetheart.”

He reached for me and picked me up by my hips like I was made of glass. Our faces were so close to each other and that made me nervous. I tensed, but only for a moment. He must have noticed because he let out a breath and put me down in the seat of the truck. He shut the door once I was comfortably seated. I almost hated how tensing in his arms seemed to affect him. It’s just a natural reaction because of what happened to me. He’d start asking questions soon if I didn’t learn how to control my reactions when he was around.

He made his way over to his side of the truck, opened the door, and got inside. How did he do that without any effort at all? It was probably the fact that he was like a foot taller than me and was used to it. He started the engine and put the truck in drive.

He turned on the radio, and we rode back to my place in silence. Today had been truly amazing and relaxing, but it was starting to get awkward.

I leaned my head on the window and just stared out looking at everything, but nothing at all.

Before I knew it, we were back at my house. I was shocked that I liked his company as much as I did. I was debating on how to make it to where this day didn’t end right now.

Grabbing my purse, I reached for the door handle. We both got out and walked down the path to the front door of my home. When we reached it, I turned to face him. He had his hands in his back pockets and was rocking back and forth looking nervous about something.

He brought his gaze back to mine, and we stared at each other for a few seconds. It was almost like it was a game of who was going to speak first. The tension that began to build caused me to crack first.

I lost the game.

“I had a really nice time today. I can tell you took the time to find the perfect place for us to go.”

“I had a nice time, as well. It didn’t take as long as you think it did. I hope that we can do it again sometime,” he confessed.

I hesitated for the briefest of seconds. If I let my inhibitions go for a moment, I could see myself easily wanting to be around him for long periods of time.

“I’d like that, but I need to make myself clear on a few things if that’s okay with you?”

“Sure. Shoot.”

“I enjoyed spending time with you today. We have a lot in common, but I can’t be more than friends right now. Probably ever. I have a lot of baggage and I can’t see it going anywhere anytime soon.”

“Ah, I see. You still want to deny what’s right in front of your face. That’s okay. I’m a patient guy. I’ll wear you down eventually. For now, I’ll let you friend zone me, but understand this, sweetheart. You’ll admit you feel it too one of these days. I don’t care how long it takes.”

Well, he wasn’t going to give up easy. This could be fun, but, on the other hand, it could be exhausting.

“If you say so.” I turned to open the door, but stopped. I was really enjoying his company and I didn’t want the day to be over yet. It was still early. What could watching a movie and enjoying dinner together hurt?

I turned back toward him and asked if he had any plans for the evening.

“Not at the moment,” he replied.

“You wanna order a pizza, enjoy a few beers, and watch a movie or two. That’s about as much fun as I can offer you.”

“It sounds perfect, sweetheart.”

I groaned. I wished he would stop calling me that. It was driving me mad.

I opened the door and invited him inside. We hung our coats in the closet and removed our shoes leaving them by the door. I walked toward the kitchen and he followed.

“I’m going to call and order a pizza. Anything special you want on it?”

“Nah, I’m not picky. Whatever you want is fine with me,” he replied while leaning against the counter.

“I’m ordering a couple of supreme pizzas. You wanna go pick out a movie? You know where the den is already, right? They’re all on the shelf across the back wall.” I had an extensive movie collection and I know that he wouldn’t have noticed it the first time he was here. This should be interesting.

Once the pizzas were ordered, I grabbed two beers out of the fridge and walked into the den to a stunned Mattie. He looked like he was going to freak out.

“You really have all of these movies?” He asked with a shocked tone.

“Yeah. It’s an obsession of mine. I don’t do much, so I buy movies to occupy my time.”

“How many are here?”

“Close to fifteen hundred. I have a variety of genres, but my biggest collection is horror. I’ve loved them since I was old enough to watch them.”

“I can see that. Want to watch a horror movie tonight then?”

“Sure, but if you want to watch something different its fine by me. You’re my guest so I’ll let you choose.”

“Aww, how sweet of you? I’m still picking horror. I think seeing you all scared and jumping out of your seat is going to be priceless to watch,” he stated with a hint of laughter. We’ll see about that.

The movies didn’t scare me as much as they gave me a thrill. I love the anticipation of what’s to come. He was looking at the movies in the horror section. Yes, the OCD part of me has them categorized. He pulled one out of its spot and seemed satisfied with what he chose.

He walked over to me and handed me the DVD. I looked down to see what it was and noticed that he’d picked The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 3D. How ironic. Out of all of the horror movies I owned, he would choose one that I didn’t like watching. Gore just wasn’t my thing. Oh well. I wouldn’t show fear though.

I smiled up at him and whispered, “Perfect.”

We chatted about how I became obsessed with movies and the pizza arrived. I collected some paper plates and a couple more beers from the kitchen and brought them back to the den so we could begin eating. I handed him a plate with two slices of pizza on it and I picked up two for myself.

I walked over to the television and turned it on, turning on the DVD player, and put in the movie. Grabbing the remote, I walked back across the room where he was sitting on the couch. I pressed play and let the movie begin.

We ate the rest of our pizza and finished the beers by the time the previews had started. I collected our trash and took it into the kitchen and grabbed another couple of beers.

We sat on separate ends of the couch and I had my legs curled up under me. I was getting into the movie and he seemed to be enjoying it, as well. For some reason, I couldn’t stop stealing glances over at him. He seemed at peace.

I continued to watch the movie and I knew that I wasn’t going to like what was coming next. The kids in the movie had just rammed the gate and were going down the street. Even though I knew what was coming, it didn’t matter. This part of the movie got me every freaking time. They had just wrecked the van and the girls were in the back screaming. Then all of a sudden Leatherface appears out of nowhere with his chainsaw and breaks the window. I screamed and jumped across the couch right into his lap. Well, this was a little awkward.

“Thought you could handle it, sweetheart,” he laughed.

My breathing had just begun to slow down from having the life scared out of me and I was trying to come up with some snarky comment. I couldn’t think of one.

“I can handle it, but that part gets me every time. Sorry for landing in your lap like that.”

I went to move off, but he put his hand around my waist to stop me. I closed my eyes trying to remind myself not to tense. Taking a deep breath, I looked back into his eyes.

“You don’t need to be sorry, sweetheart. I like you being in my lap,” he chuckled.

I shook my head at his cockiness. Men.

“That’s all fine and dandy, but we’re just friends remember. Friends don’t sit in each other’s laps,” I huffed back. We were going to be friends and nothing more. I was determined to stick with that.

“I understand that, sweetheart. I was just saying I didn’t mind it. You know you don’t have to sit way over there, right? You can scoot closer.” What could it hurt? It’s not like his arms would be wrapped around me.

I moved out of his lap and sat down on the cushion beside him. This wasn’t so bad. We continued to watch the movie the rest of the way through. Some parts I had to remind myself not to react to because I didn’t want him to think I was a chicken. When the movie ended, I moved off of the couch to take it out of the DVD player. I checked the time on the clock beside the television and noticed that it was only a little after eight. I thought it would have been later than that.

Putting the DVD back in its case, I turned back around noticing he was over at the shelf of movies looking at them. I walked over and put the movie back where it belonged.

“What are you looking for?”

“I looked at the time and it’s only after eight so I was wondering if you wanted to watch another movie?”

Did I? I liked his company well enough. It wouldn’t hurt to watch another one.

“Sure. Do you see anything else that you want to watch?”

“Yeah tons, but I doubt you want to be up all night watching a marathon of movies,” he joked.

“I haven’t done that in a while. I probably couldn’t last through two more let alone pull an all-nighter,” I teased back.

He pulled another movie off of the shelf and walked around me to the DVD player and put it in. That’s strange. Why wouldn’t he just let me see it?

“Glad to see you are making yourself at home,” I joked.

“You know it. And to answer your question, no you can’t see what I put in.”

“Where’s the fun in that?”

He just laughed and walked towards the kitchen. A few moments, later he came back with another round of beers. He twisted the top off of mine and handed me one.

“Thanks.”

We sat back down in the same spots we were in when we watched the previous movie and he pressed play on the remote control. I could only imagine what he put in. Probably one of the action movies I had.

Once the previews were over, I was still baffled as to what he had put in. The movie began to play and the instant the music started I knew what it was. He put in Top Gun. Not the manliest movie he could put in, but I loved it none the less. Who didn’t love Tom Cruise right?

About three-quarters of the way through the movie, I felt my eyes starting to become heavy. I tried to fight my sleep, it was just becoming harder and harder to stay awake. My head had fallen onto his shoulder and I hoped he didn’t get the wrong idea. I reluctantly fell asleep against him.

I woke up in a place I didn’t recognize. I tried to remain calm, but it was getting harder by the second. I was wracking my brain trying to remember the last thing that happened. I remembered walking to my car and texting Damon. After that, everything was fuzzy. I was tied to a chair with my arms behind my back. I tried my restraints, but they were tied too tightly for me to be able to get free. I needed to remember to save my strength. The room was sparse in its décor, with nothing but a table and two chairs, the chair I was tied to, and a bed. I listened and couldn’t hear anything but my breathing. I closed my eyes and tried to remember my training. The main thing was to stay calm. It’s easier said than done though when you’re actually put into the situation. As I was going over everything in my head, my thoughts were interrupted by the sound of a key entering the lock on the door. I looked towards it and when it opened, I was shocked at who I saw. Julio Araya and two of his goons were walking through the door. This situation just got a lot more difficult. I was one of the detectives assigned to take down him and his brother Javier. I silently prayed that this would be over before it began. I wouldn’t let myself think of all of the possibilities of things that could go wrong. He walked towards me and touched my cheek causing me to flinch away from his touch. He leaned towards me and whispered in my ear, “You should relax, chica. We’re just getting started.”

I instantly jumped up screaming. These nightmares are going to be the death of me. I was breathing heavily with my hands now on my knees trying to gain some composure when I noticed movement in front of me. Everything was starting to come back to me now. Mattie and I were watching a movie when I fell asleep. That means he’s still here. Fearing what I might see, I couldn’t bring myself to look up at him. I didn’t have the strength to answer questions after that dream.

I felt him running his fingers down the length of my arm, but I couldn’t move. I was frozen in place. Taking several more breaths, I attempted to calm myself down. Looks like it was going to be another long sleepless night. Getting back to sleep was hard when I had one of those dreams. I was still trying to gain back my composure when I heard him speak softly.

“Hey, sweetheart. It was just a dream. You’re safe now.”

The giggle that escaped me couldn’t be stopped. He had no clue and I prayed to God he never would. He was still gently touching my arm and shockingly it was soothing me. I just wish that something could soothe the ache in my heart and brokenness that I constantly felt. I inhaled through my nose and exhaled through my mouth one more time and gained the courage to face him.

His blue eyes were full of concern when I looked into them. Seeing the concern in them made me feel mixed emotions. I couldn’t let him be there for me because I couldn’t explain what happened. It was hard enough to discuss it with my therapist.

“I think I’m okay now.”

“You scared me, sweetheart. I was watching the end of the movie when you started to move in your sleep. Next thing I know you jumped off the couch screaming. You want to talk about it?”

Here’s the tricky part. I needed to make sure he didn’t see through my facade and make sure I sounded convincing.

Looking back into his eyes, I told him I didn’t remember what the dream was about. I just felt uneasy and that’s all I could tell him about it. He seemed to buy that story and that suited me just fine. He didn’t need to know anything about that part of my life.

I turned away from him and picked up the remote and switched off the television and DVD player. My body was still shaking a little and I needed to make it stop. I shook my hands a little to see if that would help.

I could feel him come up behind me and told myself not to tense up. I didn’t need him to ask more questions.

He gently turned me around to face him and placed his hands on my hips. I looked up into his eyes, but I couldn’t speak. They were going to be the death of me if his touch didn’t kill me first.

He leaned his forehead on mine and asked if I was okay. All I could do was nod my head because the truth was I wasn’t okay and I didn’t know how to get there. I reined back the tears that were building in my eyes. No one has seen this side of me since I moved here and this is the second time he’s seen me this way. He probably thinks I’m a nutcase.

He wrapped his arms around me and pulled me into a gentle hug. I hesitated, but wrapped my arms around his waist. I took a deep breath and his scent filled my senses. He smelled like Old Spice and fabric softener. I could get used to feeling this way. Safe. I hadn’t felt that way in two and a half years.

He was staring at me like he was studying me when I pulled back. I fidgeted with my fingers and looked down at the ground. Where did we go from here? It was a good thing that he spoke first because I didn’t know what to say.

“If you’re sure you’re okay, I’m going to head out now, sweetheart.”

“Sure. I had fun today. Sorry about the freak out session.” I was trying to make things comfortable again, but I didn’t know if I was succeeding.

I walked him to the door and held it open while he made his way outside. He turned when he stepped onto the porch.

“I had a great time today too. We should do it again soon.”

“That’d be good. Just let me know when you want to get together and I can try to squeeze you into my schedule,” I laughed.

“You better do more than try, sweetheart.”

He leaned in towards me and brushed the hair off of my face as his fingers grazed my cheek. I leaned into his touch, forgetting about my friend zone rule for a moment.

I looked back up at him and he had this sly grin on his face. He leaned his face in towards mine and I thought he might kiss me on the lips, but he kissed my cheek instead. I didn’t know if I felt relief or disappointment.

He whispered into my ear, “Sweet dreams,” and turned and walked towards his truck.

Once the door was shut, I locked it and leaned up against it with my eyes closed. He was going to be trouble. I could sense it. I didn’t need his brand of trouble though. Keeping people at arm’s length was going to continue in order to keep everyone safe, even if I had to push him away. Everyone’s safety meant more to me than anything else.