Dale
Sadie wants to start straight away. She’s fertile right now and I guess that she doesn’t want to wait around. I set us off in this direction so I guess I should be happy to just go along with it but for a moment, when she tells me, I feel a sense of panic. This is a decision that can’t be undone. You can’t unmake a baby or decide that you don’t want it when it’s born. What we do tonight will have an impact on us for the rest of our lives.
I know this is the right decision. I know I’m going to love this baby as if it was my own but this is a huge thing. A gargantuan thing and it’s happening now. I can’t tell Sadie that I want to wait until next month so that we can all let it settle for a while. I can’t give her mixed messages when I’ve pushed her hopes up into the stratosphere.
I knock on Carter’s door and he tells me to come in. “Hey.” He’s sitting at the little pine desk in the corner circling the newspaper. I can see he’s on the employment page. Carter doesn’t mess around.
“Everything alright?” he asks me. I guess he talked to Sadie so he knows what’s coming.
“You okay to start today?” For a moment I wish he’d say no. Just to give us all one more day but he nods.
“Just tell me when and I’ll get to it.” His face is serious then he snorts with laughter. “Fuck me, this is some weird fucking situation.”
I laugh too because it is. What the hell is he going to do? Jerk off into a cup and then present it to me. I never thought I’d be in a position where I’d be handling my brother’s cum. I guess life chucks some serious curveballs sometimes.
“I guess maybe in an hour? I think Sadie’s gonna make dinner first.”
“Like a date before the main event,” he chuckles.
“Well, I think you’ll be the only one coming tonight,” I say.
He shakes his head. “You know I read somewhere that if women come, they are more likely to conceive.”
I’ve heard that too. Guess tonight might involve some action for Sadie too.
I leave him to his job search to take a shower and by the time that I’m done, dinner is ready. We eat with the television going because none of us can find a damn thing to say to the other. Sadie’s face is pale with a little flush across each cheek. She looks worried and excited at the same time. Carter is as stoical as ever. He wolfs his food down and then swigs from a bottle of beer. I guess we should also have one to relax. Sadie clears up in record time, then it’s time.
She looks at me as though she’s expecting me to organize all this. I guess I am the link between them but it still feels really awkward. “So, you ready, Carter?” I ask as he rises from the table.
“Yep,” he nods.
Sadie pulls out an empty jam jar from the cupboard under the sink. “Will this do?” she asks blushing like a beetroot.
Carter nods. “It’ll work.”
The room is quiet at Carter takes the jar and Sadie takes a step back. This is way too formal and uncomfortable. “Guess you better to jack off then, bro,” I say and slap him on the shoulder.
“Fuck sake,” he mutters under his breath and heads out of the room before I can embarrass him anymore.
“Did you have to,” Sadie whispers.
“Err…yeah. We’re all tiptoeing around each other and it shouldn’t be that way. We need to be comfortable with what we are doing. We should go upstairs.”
Sadie takes a deep breath and then lets it out in a whoosh. I’m hoping that means she’s now a little less tense. “Are we crazy?” she asks.
“Maybe,” I say. “But this is about something so important to both of us. If you can’t be a little crazy for your dreams, what can you be crazy about?”
My wife smiles at me, her eyes twinkling. “You’re a very wise man, Dale.” She takes my hand and leads me to our bedroom. It smells of her perfume in here, as though it’s become a part of the room itself. She closes the door behind us and stands on her tiptoes to kiss my lips. It’s gentle and sweet. I feel like it’s her way of reassuring me of our bond.
I get a flash of our wedding day and the moment she said ‘I do’. I remember the way my heart skipped. I remember the way her eyes danced as though she was exactly the same kind of happy that I was. I knew from our second date that Sadie was the one for me. She’ll always be my girl, no matter what trials and tribulations life throws at us.
“Are you sure you’re okay with this? I whisper. I need to ask, even though I’m sure she’s filled with the same nervously excited butterflies as I am.
“No but I want to do it,” she says.
“Me too.” I kiss her forehead and drop my hands until they are resting in the dip of her waist. She’s so petite but maybe in a few months, she’s going to get curvy and swollen with a baby.
Our baby. Can I say that? Does it feel right?
I think it’s going to take some time.
There’s a knock at the door. Sadie practically jumps out of her skin. “He was quick,” she hisses, heading to the bathroom as though she’s embarrassed to actually witness the ‘stuff’ changing hands. I’m not really sure that I want to take this jar, but I guess I’m going to have to.
“Fresh and piping fuckin’ hot,” Carter says with a very dirty grin on his face.
“Fucking hell,” I say, reluctantly reaching out to take it. I hold it at arm’s length and I can’t even bring myself to look at it.
“You could try adding a thank you to that,” Carter says with mock indignation.
“I’m eternally grateful,” I say with a little bow, “But still completely grossed out.”
He laughs. “Yeah, it wasn’t exactly the easiest thing to get turned on while holding one of Sadie’s glass jars either.”
“Do you mind if we try to avoid that kind of mental image.”
Carter slaps me on the shoulder, practically dislodging the sample. “I don’t really know what to say. Break a leg?” He starts down the hall. “There’s plenty more where that came from bro,” he laughs and whistles as he jogs downstairs.
I snort because trust Carter to come out with something so fucking insensitive and not even notice. To be honest, I don’t take it badly. I know Carter through and through and there’s not a bad bone in my brother’s body.
Sadie comes out of the bathroom when she here’s the click of our door closing. She’s got the tips of her fingers in her mouth as though she’s biting her nails with nerves.
“It’s here,” I say. Pretty obvious seeing as I’m clutching the jar and she can quite clearly see it.
Sadie nods.
“So, we’re gonna use a syringe?”
“I guess…” she sits on the edge of the bed looking as though she wants to say something but doesn’t know how. This shit makes me nervous.
“You okay, baby?”
“Honey, you can leave. I think I can do it myself,” she says.
For a moment I feel wounded, but I take a deep breath and put myself in her position. Does she feel as though she’s betraying me…is that why she wants to be alone? Sadie always tells me that communication is key to a happy relationship. I need to find out what’s going on with her and let her know how I feel too.
“I’d kinda like to be here when our baby is conceived. And if this is how it has to work, well…I just want to be here.”
She nods. “You don’t feel weird about it?”
I place the jar on her nightstand and kneel on the floor in front of her. “I’d feel weird to be standing outside for something this big, baby. I’m always gonna be with you no matter what the situation is. That’s what marriage is all about.”
My beautiful wife leans in to kiss me. “How’d I get so lucky?” she asks softly.
“Must have done some seriously saintly shit in a past life,” I say and she punches my shoulder. “You wanna lie back?”
Sadie takes hold of a towel that she must have placed on the end of the bed earlier. She lays it neatly in the middle then settles on top of it. I see her thinking about how she should lie before she finally pulls up the fabric of her skirt and spreads her legs. My heart skips because she looks so fucking sexy like that. I just wanna kneel between her legs and slide into the slick, wet heat, but that isn’t what this is about.
I prepare the syringe, trying to think about something other than what I’m actually doing, but I can’t. In a few seconds, I’m going to fill my wife with my brothers cum. I’m going to put something inside her that isn’t from my body. I get a flash of the last girl that Carter and I shared. I can’t remember who went first and who second, but we definitely used condoms. I didn’t think anything of sharing my woman with Carter in the past, but Sadie’s different. Sadie’s my wife and Carter’s a stranger to her.
I wonder if I’ll feel different when Carter’s been back for a while and I know that he and Sadie know each other well. If I saw affection between then would it make me feel more easy about this?
I don’t know.
“I need to lie like this for at least thirty minutes…with my pelvis tilted.”
“Okay…” I sit on the edge of the bed with the syringe clutched in my hand. I want to touch my wife but I’m not sure how she’d feel about that. “You ready, baby?”
She blinks and then a small frown forms. “Do you think…am I wet enough to get that inside me?”
“I don’t know, honey. You want me to make you feel good first.”
Sadie blushes and it makes my cock instantly hard. “Maybe…maybe it’ll make this feel less weird…you know. More about us and less about Carter?”
I rest the syringe back in the jar and bend down to kiss Sadie’s soft mouth. “You want me to touch you or lick you?” I ask her.
“Touch me,” she says softly. She shifts until there is enough space for me to lay next to her. I stroke my finger over her lips and she licks out at it to make it moist. When I slide it over her clit she sighs gently.
“That feel good, Sadie?”
She locks eyes with me and nods. I kiss her lips, all the while concentrating on making the tight little circles against her clit that I know will make her wet. She moans against my mouth, her hips shifting. She’s chasing an orgasm, and I remember what Carter said.
I roll so I can reach the syringe. I focus on kissing my wife as I use my little finger to make sure I’m going to aim the syringe right. She stiffens when she feels the cool plastic against her entrance but she doesn’t tell me to stop. My heart is beating so fast but I hold it together. This doesn’t feel weird now. The intimacy between us is still here, and this moment, when I push the syringe is all about me and Sadie.
I leave the syringe inside her and focus my attention on her clit again. “I’m going to make you come, baby,” I whisper against her lips. “It’ll help.” Sadie’s eyes widen a little but she doesn’t stop me. It doesn’t take much more to make my girl see stars. It’s been a while since I made her come with my hand and I love to see the moment that the pleasure takes her up so close. She’s quiet but I know it’s intense because of the length of time it takes her to open her eyes. When she’s gazing at me with a glazed expression, I reach down to remove the syringe.
I stroke her face, kiss her nose and tell her that she was perfect. She hooks her arm around my neck and buries her head into my chest, holding me fast against her.
I feel her gratefulness but I don’t want her to feel that way. When you love someone it should be an automatic thing that you put their well-being before your own, where you build towards their dreams as if they were yours too. This is for us. It’s for our future. I might have come up with the idea and convinced my brother to be a participant, but it is Sadie who has opened her body to this and it will be Sadie who, fingers crossed, will be carrying this child for nine months.