19.
Ian
Annie lived near Fenway in a three-bedroom apartment with a couple roommates who I hoped would not be home when I got there. The place seemed quiet enough when Annie met me; she came to the door wearing a pair of yoga pants and a sweatshirt, which was surprising. I had expected her to be in her usual tight top and short skirt, but she seemed subdued, or maybe tired.
“Hey,” she said. “Thanks for coming to see me.”
“Sure,” I said. I was about to add Let’s
get this over as quickly as possible, but stopped myself at the last minute. “What
is it that you wanted to talk about?”
“Come on in,” she said, motioning for me to follow her down the short hallway
to the common area, where there were some futons, a flat screen TV, a coffee table with a bong on it. “Don’t worry, I’m not smoking,” she said when she saw
me eyeing the thing. “I stopped as soon as I found out.”
“So you probably were smoking then when you were pregnant; you just didn’t realize it yet.”
Her eyes narrowed. “Like I said: I stopped as soon as I found out. It’s still very early. The doctor says I’m six weeks along.”
“You’ve been to the doctor?”
“Of course I have! I thought there was something wrong with me. I thought I had
this cold that I couldn’t shake, and that’s strange for me, because I’m usually so healthy. I was exhausted and felt like
shit. It didn’t seem to get any worse or better though; it just sort of stayed
the same. I thought maybe I had mono or Lyme disease. Trust me, Ian, I was just
as surprised as you were to find out. This isn’t something I planned.”
“So isn’t that what Planned Parenthood is for? Actually planning for parenthood?”
“You don’t want to sit down?”
“Standing is fine.”
She sat. “Whatever you want. If you’re trying to suggest I get an abortion, I told you—I’m not doing that. Nothing you say is going to change my mind about it. I’d like it if we could be adults, though. I want us to get along, at least for our child’s sake.”
I felt my balls shrink just at the mention of our child. Jesus fucking Christ.
“Maybe I will sit,” I said. I sat down, but immediately started tapping my foot. I tried to stop that, and my fingers started to tingle, like I needed to start gnawing at my cuticles or else. I refrained from doing so, but the exertion made my intestines twist. A cold sweat broke out on my forehead that I hoped wasn’t visible. “What is it that you would like to do? I mean, aside from having the baby.”
“Would you like to hear my ideal situation, or what I
know will probably be closer to reality?”
“Let’s stick with reality.”
“Okay. Well, I’d like it if we could get along the best we can. I’d like us to co-parent, not parallel parent.”
“I don’t even know what that means.”
“It means that we’re both involved in the child’s life, that we communicate with each other, that we might even do things together, even though we’re living apart. You know, school events, extracurricular activities, birthday parties—”
“Whoa, whoa, whoa,” I said. “I think you’re getting a little far ahead of yourself here. School? After school activities? This is years down the road. Even birthday parties. Kids don’t remember their parties till they’re at least five, maybe six. And I never had a big birthday party growing up, and I turned out fine.”
She gave me a look that strongly suggested she thought otherwise.
“You asked me what I was hoping for, and I’m telling you.”
“Okay,” I said. “So that’s co-parenting. What’s
parallel parenting?”
“That’s basically where we both do our own thing. We may communicate once in a
while, but when the child is with you, he’s with you, when he’s with me, he’s
with me.”
“He? Did the doctor tell you it’s going to be a boy, too?”
“It’s still too early to tell. Though I did find out they can tell you at around ten weeks, if
you do this blood test. Do you want to find out?”
“No,” I said.
And I didn’t want to be a parent, either. Not a co-parent, not a parallel parent, not any parent. Parents might be the ones to give you life, but they could also royally fuck you over. My mother had by marrying Pete; then Pete had by being such a dick.
“I wouldn’t mind if you came to some of the doctor appointments,” Annie said. “It might help, especially if you had any questions.”
“The only question I have is why this is happening, but I suppose I already know the answer to that,” I said. I rubbed my hand over my eyes. “And you had mentioned something about child support. I’d actually rather avoid having to go to court. It’d be nice if we could handle things ourselves, don’t you think?”
“Of course I do. That’s what I’ve been hoping for.”
“Okay. Well. I don’t know what the going rate for child support is, but I’m
sure we can figure something out.” I was trying to sound as upbeat as I could,
though the whole thing was really making me feel a little nauseous.
“We can figure that out,” Annie said. “As the time gets closer.”
“Right. I mean, you probably don’t need much right away, when it’s so tiny and everything.”
“I won’t be working.”
“You mean at first?”
“Yeah, at first. Who is going to take care of the baby? You? Are you going to
be here to get up in the middle of the night with it to feed it and change
diapers? No, I highly doubt it. So yes, of course
I’m going to be taking time off.”
“Isn’t that what they have daycares for?”
“Do you know how expensive daycare is?”
“I have no clue.”
“It’s probably a lot more than I would ever ask of you. Maybe you should look
into it.”
“I really have no desire to look into how much daycare costs.” I stood up.
“I’ve got to get going. I’m supposed to meet someone, and I’m already late as
it is.”
She gave me a poisonous look. “Who? Your new
secretary?”
I tried to keep my face impassive. “It’s not really any of your concern.”
“I knew it. You’re probably banging her, too, aren’t you? Well, there’s no way
in hell she fucks you as good as I did, I know that. Are you going to get her pregnant too? You’re going to go bankrupt
with all of the child support you’re going to have to pay.”
“I’ll see you later,” I said, walking out of the living room. Christ, I couldn’t get out of their fast enough. Part of me was expecting her to come running down the hall after me, but she didn’t. I made it out of the apartment and pulled the door shut firmly behind me, letting out a breath as I did so.
Still, I was fucked, that much was clear. It seemed pretty messed up to be bringing a child into the world when the parents disliked each other this much already, but there were probably plenty of people who had been born to parents who weren’t each other’s biggest fans, yours truly included. And I supposed I turned out okay.
It was a lot later than I wanted it to be when I finally got to Failte. All I wanted was to see Daisy; I knew that getting to see her smiling face would be the one thing that would help melt some of this stress away. The bar was pretty crowded when I got there, and I scanned the room, looking for her. I didn’t see her, but my eyes landed on Billy McAllister, of course. He waved and signaled for me to come over. I walked over, but only because I was hoping he’d be able to tell me if he’d seen Daisy or not.
“My lucky night!” he shouted. “Looks like the whole Hard Tail crew is coming through Failte tonight! All we need to show his face now is Jonathan. Where is he?”
I tried not to roll my eyes. “Hey, Billy.”
“Can I get you a drink?”
“No, I’m good.”
“Really?”
“Yeah.”
“You’re in a bar and all. You know, usually people get drinks here.”
“Yeah, yeah, I’ll get to it. I’m meeting someone,
actually.”
“The lovely Daisy, I presume?”
I did not like the way he said it. To any eavesdropper, it would have sounded
perfectly innocent, but I knew he was probably scheming all sorts of ways that
he could get with her. No fuckin way.
I forced a smile. “Yes, Daisy. I was meeting her down here, but I got a little held up, so I’m a little late.”
“A little too late, I’d say. She took off quite a while ago, man. But don’t worry; I kept her company while she waited for you.”
I’ll bet you did, you horny fuck.
“Thanks.”
“She’s a lovely girl.
“She is.”
“You always hire the good ones.”
“She’s a friend of Jonathan’s, actually.”
“Lucky guy.”
“Not that kind of friend. She’s my girlfriend, actually.” The words just came out; it wasn’t like I’d given them any thought at all. I think Billy was as surprised as I was, but I tried to keep my face expressionless.
“That so?” he said after a minute. “’Cause I could’ve sworn that just the other day when I was down at the office and I asked her, she said she wasn’t seeing anyone.”
“Times change.”
“Dating the employees. That didn’t work out so well
with Annie now, did it?”
He had an amused expression on his face. The bastard was enjoying this
immensely, and I hated him for it. But the last thing I wanted was to let him
see that I was bothered by it.
“You know, my dad has a very strict policy against . .
. fraternizing like that with
employees,” Billy continued. “It’s not an official thing or anything, but
everyone knows that you don’t shit in your own backyard. And it’s funny . . . Daisy and I talked for quite a while—she
didn’t mention anything about the two of you.”
“We’re trying not to advertise it to the world.”
“Well. She suddenly had to take off, so quickly, in
fact, I didn’t get to ask just what it was that had come up. But since you’re
her boyfriend and everything, I’m sure you’ll find all that out. It’s not nice,
though, you know. Keeping all the good women for yourself. You probably never
shared your toys in the sandbox, either, did you?”
“See ya later, Billy,” I said. I was seeing
way too much of Billy McAllister lately.