Chapter 5
Garrett
I knew I liked Forest. After telling him that I couldn’t go into town, he still brought me back a wristwatch with an alarm on it. I instantly noticed it was the same one all the other guys were wearing.
Luckily for me, Forest had taken a liking to me because Sid had been very clear that I wasn’t to go into town. Agent Walker threatened to place me on a fishing boat in Alaska if he found out I was causing any trouble. So, when Forest handed me the wristwatch, I was extremely grateful.
“It’s got a vibrate function on it, you can set alarms for breakfast, lunch, and dinner and the watch will vibrate to notify you.”
His broken, toothy smile was smug yet playful and I knew their little game with me was finally over. It had only taken me a couple of weeks to figure it out, but I was grateful to finally have a way of making it to breakfast in the morning. I couldn’t exactly expect Sarah to sneak into the bunkhouse and wake me up, although I certainly would appreciate it if she wanted to.
I had gone to college and been through the horror of hazing as I joined my fraternity; my theory of holding out and not complaining had finally paid off. It was a huge relief and I finally felt like I was one of the guys.
It was odd to be placed at the ranch through the witness protection program. I had seen the movie and television shows about the program and always assumed people were hidden away in cabins where no one could find them. It was a bit of a relief that I did get to work on the ranch and interact with people each day because I was sure I would have gone crazy if I had been stuck in a cabin all alone.
Free-time had never been something I liked. From the time I was in high school up to my current work, I always packed my days as full as possible. If I wasn’t at the gym or at the office, I was likely out with friends or visiting potential clients. I couldn’t sit still very well and that had served me greatly as I grew my business. I strongly believed that anyone who was willing to work hard and hustle would make something of themselves eventually. Although, it was hard for me to meet quality women when I was always hustling around.
Sarah was the kind of woman I had never really met up close. In the business world, she was aloof and not really the sort of woman I was looking for when I was out with my friends at a bar. To be honest, I figured a woman like Sarah probably didn’t go out to the bars much. She was serious about life and I could see that. Even at home at her family farm, Sarah kept a serious nature about her that could drive men away. But the more I talked to her and the closer I got to her, I was realizing that her serious nature was just her armor to make it in this man’s world. Sarah was actually very sweet and kind and tried to hide it behind everything else that she portrayed.
The touch of her hands on mine wasn’t something I could forget though. Even though for the next several weeks she seemed to be avoiding getting close enough to touch me. Something about our interaction during that morning of making breakfast had scared her, or perhaps her parents had told her to stay away; Sarah was very obviously avoiding me.
She had promised to teach me more about the horses and yet had totally avoided me since that morning we made breakfast. There were some quick glances as we worked, a smile and nod, or even a quick hello as I walked by, but Sarah was avoiding me.
At first I thought she was just trying to play hard to get. Or maybe she was proving her point that she was the supervisor and I was an employee. But the way her eyes lit up when we did look at each other, I felt like she was for sure interested in me. I understood she didn’t want her parents to think something was going on between the two of us — hell, I didn’t want that either. But there was no use in totally ignoring each other if we were going to work together; we could certainly decide to do that and just be friends if that was what she wanted.
“Can you show me how to saddle the horse?” I asked one late afternoon after I had finished all my other jobs.
She looked around nervously as she stood at the end of the barn. I wasn’t sure why I was suddenly making her so nervous, but as a man I knew not to move forward until she allowed it. As men, we had to be in tuned to thing like the way a woman felt when alone with us; there were too many shady men in the world and they had ruined it for all the good guys.
Even thought I was clearly a good guy and I knew it, I wasn’t sure that Sarah was one hundred percent convinced of my good guy status. She wanted to like me, I could see that in her eyes; but she had some trepidation about giving in to her gut feeling about me.
To be honest, I wasn’t sure that I would trust the guy I was at that moment in my life. The story I had been given when I was placed at the ranch seemed a little shady to me and I probably hadn’t done it justice with my unconvincing lying. A guy traveling to Wyoming to Washington for a job opportunity wouldn’t actually stop to work at a ranch. If he had a job opportunity, he would want to get to that damn job and not sit for weeks on a ranch. But I tried to avoid the realities of the story I had been telling about my past and move forward. I just had to make the best of it and hope that Sarah could see through the lies and see that I was a decent guy.
“Um, actually I was just heading into town to get a saddle for Buckjoy. You could come with me if you’d like.”
The agent who had dropped me off at the ranch had told me very clearly never to leave the ranch. If I went into town, it was more likely someone would see me and if Frank Gordano sent people looking for me, it was more likely they could find me. I knew the rules; I had avoided going to get my own watch because of these rules. Everything in my mind told me to refuse this offer of Sarah’s… but my mind wasn’t really in control at that moment.
Lust can do wondrous things to a man’s psyche though. Justification and logic seem to swim together and make sense of situations and excuses to forgo all that a man knows is true. And in that moment, lust took control of my mind and I agreed to put myself in danger and go with this beautiful woman whom I had been distant from for weeks and desperately wanted to be alone with again.
“Sure,” I said as I took off my gloves and followed Sarah to the truck.
Adrenaline pulsed through my body at the decision I just made. As we pulled out of the driveway, I looked around in expectation. I felt as if someone might be just outside the gates waiting to kill me. But as the truck moved further away from the ranch, I began to relax just a little bit. How likely was it there would be anyone even remotely close to our little Montana city? How would they have even found me? No, I told myself I was being paranoid and that was all there was to it.
“How are your hands?” she asked.
I held them out for her to see and showed off my proud calluses on them. They were the hands of a true working man and I was actually proud of them. The rough nature of my hands now showed that I was physically able to work the ranch and I wasn’t that weak gym rat that I had been when I first arrived.
Rough callus-ridden hands weren’t something I ever imagined I would be proud of. Yet I really was. My life on the ranch had been such a growing experience up to that point and I was happy to stay a few weeks longer and continue to learn. I still had the feeling as if I were away at summer camp and having Sarah there made things even better.
My body had started adjusting to the long hours, although I was still very tired and ready for bed each night. Since getting my watch, I was getting up with everyone else and didn’t seem to be the butt of jokes anymore. Plus, there were a couple new ranch hands that were doing more of the grunt work as I started to take on additional responsibilities. Life was good for me and I didn’t feel afraid for my life like I had when I first arrived.
“They healed up real nice. Thanks again for taking such good care of me.”
I wasn’t specifically trying to flirt with Sarah, but I honestly couldn’t help myself. The way her big, brown eyes looked at me, she had every nerve in my body standing at attention. For weeks, she had avoided eye contact and hurried out of the barn whenever I was in there. But there she was, right next to me in the truck, the two of us alone as we made our way into town. I didn’t regret my decision one bit – I would have agreed to go anywhere with her.
Sarah kept her hands on the wheel and concentrated on the road as she drove. It felt like she was trying to avoid talking to me, yet she had been the one who invited me to come with her into town. I couldn’t help but stare at her as she held onto the large truck steering wheel. Her long, brown hair was pulled to either side in braids and she looked like a college girl. Sarah was half smiling and I thought she would say something flirty to me, but just as she started to talk she would bite her bottom lip and then stop.
“It’s just part of my job. You’re our employee; I can’t have you bleeding all over the place or being in so much pain you can’t work,” she finally said.
She looked at me and then her eyes turned back to the road as she sat coldly ignoring me for the rest of the drive into town. She was trying her best to put distance between us and I understood. I wasn’t going to let it happen, but I understood why she was doing it. In the six weeks that I had been on the ranch, I had already seen four men leave and three more take their places. It wasn’t a place where men came and lived for a long time and I couldn’t promise her I was going to stay much longer either. Who was I to try and build a friendship with this woman? I could literally be gone at any moment. The agent who dropped me off just had to show up at the front door of Mr. Miller’s home and I would leave with him without a question being asked.
I couldn’t offer Sarah anything and I was selfish for wanting anything from her. But I still wanted it. I still wanted her. Even if I was only there one more day, I wanted to feel the gentle touch of Sarah’s lips against mine. I longed for a moment when we could sneak away and she would let me explore her naked body with my lips and hands. I’d take anything she was willing to give, anything except the silence she was giving me as we drove into town.
“How am I doing with my jobs?” I asked in an effort to get her to talk to me.
“Good. I mean, it was pretty hilarious watching you try to catch that pig the other day though.”
That damn pig. I knew she had seen me struggling with that thing and everyone else on the ranch as well. It was emasculating to have a little pig cause so much chaos. I had never in my life spent so much time trying to grab an animal and my frustration at the event had grown so high that I would have started throwing a tantrum if others hadn’t of been watching. It was like the pig actually had a vendetta against me.
“I don’t understand how your father did it. He basically used some sort of witch-power and the damn thing totally stopped running and let your dad pick him up.”
Sarah laughed at my description of her father, but it was totally true. I had chased after the damn pig for half an hour and when Sid walked up, the pig just succumbed to him and let him pick the damn thing up. It would have been hilarious if it hadn’t been me that had been tortured by the damn pig.
With Sarah, I had done what I had intended to do and broke her armor for the slightest of moments. My heart filled with potential and I quickly tried to figure out how I could prolong this moment with her and keep her armor down long enough to get to know her. She was a tough woman and I accepted that. Hell, I loved that she was so damn tough, but it meant I was going to have to work a little harder than I was used to around a woman. I was all right with that though; I was all right with whatever I had to do to keep Sarah’s attention.
“My father is a big of a pig whisperer,” Sarah continued to laugh.
“I have to admit, working on the ranch is so much harder than I imagined it would be and I don’t think I’m very good at it either. Your father has been very generous to let me work with him.”
“My father wouldn’t keep you around if you weren’t a hard worker. I think you’re doing all right.”
I pulled up my pants leg and exposed a huge bite mark on my leg. I had actually been a little worried about it, but Mrs. Miller convinced me it happened all the time and as long as I kept it clean, I would be fine. Meredith Miller was a pretty amazing woman; she was up for breakfast and still up when we all went to bed. I could see where Sarah got her strength both physically and mentally.
“What the hell happened to you?” Sarah yelled at me as she stopped the car in the parking lot of the store.
“You’ll laugh, it’s okay. I’m keeping it clean and it should heal up really soon.”
“Are there any other injuries I should know about while we are in town? I can load up on some additional first air supplies,” she said as she smiled at me. “Was that from the pig?”
“Yes,” I said and quick looked away. Sarah broke out into laughter and I couldn’t help turning to look at her. “It really hurt and he was fast,” I defended myself.
Her laughter was brilliant and I searched my mind for anything else I could say to keep her laughing. It dawned on me that this was what it was like to truly like a woman. Which seemed odd considering I had had plenty of girlfriends over the years, but many of them seemed to be girls that were good enough for the moment and not girls I truly wanted to be with.
As I sat in the truck with Sarah, I realized what a huge difference it was with her compared to other women. I genuinely had put my life at risk to simply have some alone time with her. I was searching my brain for jokes that might get her to smile and laugh and that was all I wanted from her. Sure, I would have loved for her to tell me she wanted to take me to bed, but I was also all right with exactly what we had in that moment. Her pure laughter was making me happy too, and the realization was life-changing for me.
Even if I left the ranch the next day and nothing more ever came of my relationship with Sarah, I had a life changing view of relationships that had taken me thirty years to find. The unselfishness of that moment wasn’t something I had really experienced with a woman before and it felt like a drug to me. I wanted more of Sarah, I wanted her smiles, her attention, and anything else she would give me because it gave me a happiness high like no other that I had experienced.
“Well, congratulations; I think you are the first person to ever work on the farm and get beaten up by a pig.”
Her smile was brilliant as she looked at me and I could tell I had succeeded in keeping her wall down for a moment. It was a trick I had learned as a CEO; when you make yourself vulnerable, people tend to make themselves vulnerable as well. But I had never been as successful outside of the office as I felt at that moment with Sarah. Her smile, her laughter, it was because of me and I couldn’t wait to make her laugh again and again.
“You’ve never been bit by a pig?” I asked as we laughed.
“Um, no. I’ve never been bit by any animal. I was once thrown off a wild horse when I was younger, though. I fractured my spine and had to spend months in bed.”
“Wow, that sounds painful. Why were you on a wild horse?” I asked as our laughter started to die down.
She paused for a moment before answering me and I could see she was thinking about whether or not she wanted to continue our conversation. It was a nice conversation, but I was vulnerable and so was she. If her parents had told her to stay away from me, the moment was right then for her to end the talking. I told myself if she really didn’t like me she would stop the conversation and we would simply go buy the saddle and head back home. But if she liked me, even just a little bit, Sarah would tell me why she had been on that wild horse.
“We should probably get going. I’d like to try and put the saddle on Buckjoy before nightfall.”
Disappointment rushed through me and I could have given up at that very moment, but I wasn’t going to go down without a fight. I wanted to see her laugh again. I needed Sarah to keep her defenses down and for us to at least be friends. I didn’t want to go weeks without her talking to me again.
“You’ve got a thing for wild men,” I teased as we climbed out of the truck and started toward the store.
It was a joke that I thought would catch her attention. Enough flirting for her to really know I was interested, but nothing too crude or vulgar. I was proud of my joke, up until I saw the wild look in her eyes as we walked toward the building.
Suddenly she grabbed me and pushed me against the building. There was fire in her eyes and for a moment I was afraid I had said something to anger her. She was powerful for such a little thing and her strength held me against the wall as she looked up into my eyes.
Her eyes were like darts to mine and she refused to look away as she started to talk. It was erotic how much she had taken control of me and pushed me like that. I hadn’t had a woman be so forceful around me before; it turned me on and I smiled as she looked seriously at me.
“I like wild horses, not wild men,” she said sternly. “Now let’s go get this saddle.”
She pulled her hand away from my chest and I couldn’t help but smile even more at the fire that was inside of her. It had been totally out of the blue, I couldn’t have pretended to be prepared. But, oh, how I loved the way she pressed me against that wall and took control of the moment. Sarah didn’t like what I had said and instead of just smiling and brushing it off, she made sure I understood. Although, I secretly suspected she also liked wild men, but wasn’t about to push her into admitting it.
The problem was I wasn’t a wild man. Sure, I was pretending to be a drifter, but I couldn’t pretend to be a rough and wild man that I wasn’t; I just didn’t have those kinds of acting skills. I was pretending to be this aloof man who didn’t have a home and didn’t care where he was going or what he did for work, but Garrett Reynolds wasn’t who I was.
I didn’t wear cowboy boots ever in my normal life. I certainly didn’t shovel horse shit or chase after angry pigs. In the real world, I lived a cushy life in Los Angeles and flew on my own private jets to grand vacations. I had beautiful women who threw themselves at me and I often kept them by my side for the briefest of relationships. I tried to be fair and kind to people but I was often too caught up in my business and my own life to notice anyone else outside of my close circle of friends.
The longer I was away from my old life, the more I worried I hadn’t been that great of a guy at all. Not only had I put my employees at risk by getting into business with Frank Gordano, but I had put money ahead of everything else. Which was stupid; I had more money than I could spend reasonably in a lifetime, yet I wanted more and more.
Before getting sent away with the Witness Protection Program, I couldn’t remember a time in my life where I was ever content with what I had. Whether it was in business or my personal life; I always wanted something more or something different. A beautiful woman by my side had never been enough, I wanted a different one than the one I had at any specific moment. In business, when everything was going perfectly, I would make changes to add new things that would inevitably shake up the symbiosis that was going on.
Perfection wasn’t exactly what I was searching for, but satisfaction was what I wanted. Somehow I wanted to feel like what I had was enough. The problem was, I never could get to that point no matter how much I switched girlfriends and no matter how many things I changed in the company.
The weird thing was, I felt happy, or at least I thought I was happy. I went to work every day with a smile on my face and a bit of a jump in my step. Running a small airline was a fun bit of work, but I wasn’t satisfied and therefore didn’t ever truly feel happiness.
The simplicity of life on the ranch had me feeling happier than I had felt in a very long time. Sure, I liked to think of Sarah and even flirt with her when I had the chance, but just being on the ranch and working hard was changing my mindset. There were days when nothing seemed out of place and I was happy to finish my jobs before nighttime and get a warm shower in. I didn’t yearn for more. I didn’t long to have a different amount of money in my pocket or a different fancy bed; I was happy with what I had.
I was happy with three good meals a day and a safe place to sleep. They were things I had taken for granted most of my adult life, yet they were so essential to living. I vowed to myself that I would do better in my life when I returned to it. I would do better at being less self-centered. My eyes were certainly being opened by my time at the ranch and in the witness protection program.
The drive back to the ranch was silent again, but I didn’t feel like pushing Sarah any more. My thoughts were wrapped up in my past and what I hoped would be my future. When the Gordano trial was over, I was going to make changes in my life. I wasn’t sure what they were or how it would happen, but my old life could never be the same after my time at the Miller ranch.
As we pulled into the driveway, Sid Miller was standing there waiting for us. The look on his face seemed full of relief when we first pulled in, but then it quickly turned to anger. I had seen a similar look on the faces of fathers over the years when I had returned their daughters home from a date later than I was supposed to.
“Uh oh,” Sarah said under her breath. “He’s looks angry.”
I suspected Sid was angrier with me than he was at Sarah, but I couldn’t give that information out. Instead, I went along were her notion that her father was actually upset with her. Although, I wasn’t sure why she would think he was angry with her just for driving into tow.
Sarah climbed out of the truck and I grabbed the saddle out of the back and started to bring it into the barn. I didn’t want to make waves if Sid was angry with his daughter; I was going to stay out of it. If he was angry with me, I wanted to get out of sight as quickly as possible to avoid any sort of altercation of words when he explained how wrong I was for leaving.
“Garrett, I need a word with you,” Sid said loudly.
“I’ll take that,” one of the other ranch hands said as he grabbed the saddle.
“Sure.”
“In my office, please,” Sid said as he walked to the small building off to the side of his house.
My eyes caught Sarah’s and she shrugged her shoulders at me. I was clearly the one in trouble and not her, and I knew it was because I had left the ranch. There was no excuse and I shouldn’t have gone. Luckily nothing had happened. We simply went into the supply store and shopped around for a little bit and then bought the saddle and left. There had only been two people in the store that I had seen and neither of them seemed even the slightest interested in what I was doing. But I knew I was wrong and that was all that mattered, I took ownership when I made mistakes and this was certainly all my fault.
“I’m sorry, Sid,” I said quickly as I entered his office.
Sid picked up the telephone and dialed a number. He held his hand up for me not to talk while he punched in a couple numbers on the touchpad telephone. His lips were pressed tightly together and he was angry. Before that moment, I had almost believed that Sid never got angry. But I could see it in his face and even in how he was sitting in his chair, Sid Miller was not happy with me at all.
“Do you know what I’m doing right now?” he asked me sternly, but didn’t wait for me to reply. “I’m calling off the massive search for you that was ordered when I had to report that you and my daughter were both missing.”
Shit. I hadn’t thought about what it would look like if I was gone with his daughter. I felt bad at the mention of people out looking for me and instantly wished I hadn’t gone with Sarah into town. There was genuine concern coming from Sid and I realized that he wasn’t angry: he was scared. Sid had been scared that the people who were after me had found me and had decided to take Sarah with as they kidnapped me.
My gut twisted at the ideas that must have been going through Sid’s mind when he realized we were both gone. At first he probably thought we were riding horses or something else, but soon he realized we had both left the ranch and we hadn’t told anyone where we were going. The fear that started slowly had probably spread quickly the longer we were gone until he decided to report us missing.
“I’m sorry.”
“Oh, you’re sorry that for the last hour I thought that a dangerous killer had taken my daughter and the stranger who I had agreed to protect? You’re sorry?”
My words seemed of little consolation, but I didn’t really know what else I could say. I was sorry. I wouldn’t do it again and I certainly appreciated all that he had risked to have me at his home and keep me safe while I waited to testify at the trial. My eyes looked down at the grown to avoid the deep gaze of Sid. I knew I had disappointed him and it felt just as bad as when I had disappointed my own father when I was younger.
“Sid, I don’t know what else to say. Sarah invited me to go with her to get a saddle and I said yes. I wasn’t thinking.”
I decided to leave out the part where I wanted to kiss her. I also didn’t mention that I totally knew I shouldn’t have been leaving the ranch and I just wanted more alone time with Sarah. The idea had seemed very harmless and our trip had been totally uneventful, I hoped that Sid would be able to forgive me.
“No, you weren’t thinking and you just put yourself and my daughter at risk. I don’t know who it is that you are testifying against, but they certainly could have followed you to Montana. You don’t think that the FBI is all that careful in their planning and dropping off of witnesses, do you? The only thing that was keeping you safe was that no one else in the state of Montana had seen your face because you were here on my ranch. Now you have risked your own safety and put my family at risk. I don’t think I’ll be able to keep you here any longer.”
His words cut through me like a dagger. I didn’t want to leave. I was comfortable on the ranch; I felt safe there. I had made the mistake and it was my consequences to live with; but I didn’t want to leave the ranch. As panic washed through my body, I had to think of some sort of plan that would convince Sid to let me stay on the ranch. Unfortunately, I couldn’t think of anything except to give him a sincere apology and hope for the best.
“Sid, I’m sorry. I promise it won’t happen again. Please let me stay here. The trial has got to be getting closer and I’ll be gone then, but I like it here. I want to stay.”
Sid looked perplexed at the situation as he tried to decide if he was going to let me stay there or not. My odds weren’t looking all that great until Mrs. Miller poked her head into the office and offered her advice on the situation. Up until that very moment, I would have put all my money on the idea that Sid was going to get rid of me, but when Meredith looked in the door, she had a bright smile on her face, and I knew it was going to be all right.
“Sid, let the poor boy get back to work,” she said with a smile and then closed the door.
I smiled back at her and something in her eyes told me that she knew what was going on. Perhaps Sid had filled her in on who I was when he couldn’t find me and Sarah. Perhaps Meredith Miller had known who I was the whole time? But either way, her comment seemed to be enough to push Sid in the direction that favored me staying on at the ranch.
Sid loved his wife and he respected her opinion. It was clear that because she told him to let me stay on the ranch, Sid was going to cut me some slack.
“One more chance, kid. This is it; if there are any other incidents, I won’t wait around for an explanation. You’ll be shipped back to the FBI and they can find you another place to hide out until the trial.”
“I understand.”
“And help Sarah with that damn horse. I need to ride it out to the river next week a few times and none of the other horses are up for that long of a trek.”
“Yes, sir, I’ll do my best. But the animals don’t seem to like me all that much.”
“Stop letting them be in charge. In whatever you did before you got here, would you have let some kid off the street boss you around and bite you?”
I laughed at his analogy. Of course, I wouldn’t have; I was a strong, tough CEO.
“No, I wouldn’t have.”
“Then show the animals that you’re a strong leader. If you show weakness, they’ll bite you,” he said as he motioned for me to get out of his office. “And don’t ever worry me like that again.”