Chapter 12
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Tessa
Pacing back and forth in the parking lot of Element, I mutter obscenities at the brightly lit screen in my hands. The Uber app is nowhere to be found, and I’m about five seconds from smashing the miserable device.
Wait a minute, did I ever download it?
Oh god, those last shots of tequila pushed me right over the edge of sobriety. I tap furiously at the screen until the app is downloading. After a few minutes, I groan when I see it’s not even halfway to finishing.
This garbage town has garbage reception.
With a drunken yelp, I drop down to the closest parking bumper, shuddering when the cold concrete touches my bare thighs.
Why did I even come here? I’m more confused and frustrated than ever. Life was simple in La Grande. Andrew’s behavior is so hot and cold that my head is going to start spinning around like I’m having a damn exorcism. Does he like me? Does he hate me? How the hell am I supposed to figure out where we stand?
After everything that has happened this week, I was happy I’d said yes to Blossom’s invitation. I needed a night to let loose, pretend I was just a normal twenty-something-year-old without a care in the world.
I’m on the dance floor minding my own damn business when he pops out of nowhere in his sexy jeans with his smoldering green eyes. Boom! Shit hits the fan and splatters in all directions. A shit storm of epic proportions. The biggest piece of crap being Lilah Fucking Crother. All I could think about were all the ways she used to torture me throughout school, and he knew, he knew what kind of monster she was—yet here we are.
Did you think he was going to sit around and wait for you, Reaper?
I scoff at the condescending voice in my head. Of course I didn’t expect him to wait for me, I just, I didn’t expect it to be her. The thought of them together sends another wave of nausea through my body until I’m puking everything up on the black pavement.
I hear a soft chuckle behind me. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen blue vomit before.”
I rocket to my feet in an instant. One wobbly step after another, I move across the parking lot to get as far away from him as possible.
“Go away, Andrew, I’m serious,” I yell without looking back. All my focus is on walking straight in these horrid heels while the world insists on spinning. Hitting a patch of loose gravel, my leg slides out from beneath me. With a gasp, I fall backwards, straight into his ready arms.
“Whoa, Tess, be careful.”
Tilting my head back, I look up into the most beautiful green eyes and the same infuriating but adorable crooked smile I fell in love with.
“Stop trying to save me,” I mutter bitterly as I push him away. My walking is awkward and uneven as I hobble my way back. It’s not until I’m sitting down that I realize I’m missing a shoe.
Fuck it, never wearing those devil heels again anyway.
“Let me take you home,” Andrew says, my missing red shoe in one of his hands.
I bark out a humorless laugh. “Isn’t your girlfriend back there waiting for you?”
“She’s not my girlfriend, she was just. . . there when I was lonely. She was nice and normal. Everyone else treated me like I was fragile and could break at any moment. I wasn’t with her to hurt you, Tessa. Shit, I never thought you were coming back.” He lets out a frustrated exhale as he drops down beside me.
I have absolutely no right to be mad. What’s wrong with me?
“I get it, I’m sorry for being such a bitch to her. I can apologize if you want,” I lie through my teeth.
No. I fucking wouldn’t
“No, you wouldn’t.” He shakes his head while grinning, and a small smile turns up the corner of my mouth. “Besides, whatever it was me and her had, it’s over now. It’s been over for a while if I’m completely honest. I just didn’t care enough to end it sooner. So I guess in a weird way, I should thank you.”
I look over at him in surprise. I’ll take your appreciation in the form of nudes.
“Oh,” is what my mouth spits out instead, followed by a rather loud hiccup.
Cool as a cucumber I am. Totally sobering up. I plant my face in my hands with a sigh.
Scooting in front of me, he holds out his free hand expectantly. After hesitating, I stick out my leg.
“Will you please let me take you home?” he asks, slipping the stiletto onto my foot.
His voice is light, and his eyes are gentle as he looks up at me. This is not the Andrew I’ve come to know since my brief time back in Alder Grove. His sudden charm is disarming, and I find myself wanting to see more of this side of him, a side I thought was gone forever.
What has changed between now and yesterday?
I twist my mouth into a wry smile. “Why? Did you bring a horse-drawn carriage, Prince Charming?”
A strange expression briefly crosses his face before his grin returns. “Just the one horse, Cinderella, my beautiful Mustang.” There’s a click, and we’re flooded by a bright light.
“Oh God, make it stop.” I throw my hands up to protect my eyes that had barely adjusted to the dim parking lot.
“Well if you’re inside the car, the lights won’t hurt you anymore,” he teases.
I scowl but slide onto the leather seat when he opens the passenger door. The engine roars to life, and a proud expression steals across Andrew’s face.
“So, what’s this car called, Glitter?” Another giggle escapes as I think about the twins’ old car.
“What? Oh, you’re hilarious. No, its name is not Sparkles, Glitter, or anything else a twelve-year-old girl might name her car,” he warns, narrowing his eyes.
“Okay, fine. So what’s its name then?” I huff, crossing my arms.
“It’s a car, an inanimate object. She doesn’t have, nor need a name,” he speaks slowly as if trying to explain something complicated to a child.
“A nameless car?” I ask in horror. “No, no that won’t do. Mustangs are a type of horse. . . and unicorns are a type of horse. Blackwell, you’re in luck because I’ve been inspired. She will forever be known as Glittery Unicorn Sparkle.” I pet the middle console lovingly as I smile over at him.
“You’re definitely drunk. No, and don’t you even think ab—Wait, what are you doing with your phone? You better not be—” He cuts off when I shove my phone in his face, showing him that I texted his sister the car’s new name.
“Fuck, Kinsley, what have you done?” he growls. There’s a flutter in my stomach hearing the playful way he says my last name like he used to.
“Given your car a fabulous name, and I’m ensuring it sticks,” I reply.
He lets out a low whistle. “That’s it, you’re walking. Get out of the car.”
I throw my head back and laugh. “Don’t be so dramatic.”
“Fine, one ride, but don’t think I won’t get you back for that.” He switches gears and begins to back out of the parking spot.
I relax my head back on the headrest and grin. “If it makes you feel better, I’m gonna call her Gus for short.”
“Hardly.” There’s a hint of amusement in his voice.
The rest of the drive to the motel is quiet, aside from the monotone voice coming from the GPS. My foggy brain tries to process the dramatic personality flip that’s taken place in Andrew, but my attention keeps getting drawn to his chiseled jaw and broad chest.
He’s goddamn beautiful.
The parking lot of the motel is packed, there must be some event going on in town. He pulls into the empty lot across the street and switches off the engine. I fidget with my fingers trying to find the right words to say, but my tequila-infused brain is useless.
“C’mon, I’m walking you over.” Before I can protest, he’s out of the car and opening my door. Hot and still a gentleman? I’ll take two.
I wobble my way out of the car and take a second to steady myself. A hand slides around my waist, offering support as we walk across the street. My heartbeat quickens as I become hyper aware of his arm wrapped around me.
Once we reach my room, I sense his hesitation. The words that come out of his mouth surprise me. “I’m sorry about what I said at dinner, Tessa.”
I reach for the door knob but stop mid-air and turn to him. There’s a war raging within and the evidence is scribbled across his face. His eyes hold so much fear and uncertainty.
I guess I’m not the only one confused. I’m all too familiar with the path that’s placed before us. This time, I can’t ignore what the universe has tried to pound into my head. For the sake of his happiness, and my fractured soul, I have to let him go once and for all. I should be grateful I have the chance to do this on my own terms.
“Andrew?” I start, but the words stick in my throat. Why is this so hard? I’ve had years to get over him. To let the idea of us flicker out and die.
“Yes?” He breathes, taking a step toward me.
I tug on a strand of hair. “Do you think—Could we just start over. . . as friends?”
His expression hardens with a tick of his jaw as he holds my gaze. “That’s what you want?” The sadness laced in his words almost makes me lose my resolve.
Almost.
“Yes,” I choke out. Fearing my eyes will betray my true feelings, I avert my gaze.
“Okay, good. Just friends. As always, your wish is my command, Tessa.” There’s a harsh bite to his words, and when I find the courage to look up, he’s already halfway to his car.
The cold night has nothing on the chill that encases my foolish heart. Sliding down the brick wall, I pull my knees in close and wrap my arms around them for warmth. I kick off the horrible heels and tug my dress down so it covers my exposed thighs. I don’t release any tears until my face is buried in my knees and I’m shielded by the waves of my hair.
What have I done?
I should get up, go inside and get out of the cold, but I can’t move. My old demons of despair reach for me, hell bent on dragging me back into their depths. I have to take control before I’m consumed by the misery of turning away the keeper of my heart.
He’s always been, and always will be, the sunshine to my gloom. But I’ve pushed him away, shut out his light, and all too late come to realize, I’m still afraid of the dark.
My need to protect him outweighs my foolish heart. No matter how much it hurts, I know this is what I have to do.
But why does it have to hurt so fucking bad?
“Go on a date with me.”
My head snaps up so fast orange spots bloom across my vision. When it clears, I’m face-to-face once more with green eyes and a crooked grin.
“What?” I manage to croak out. I wipe away the fresh tears on my cheeks.
“Go. On. A. Date. With. Me.” Taking my hands, he pulls me to my feet.
Memories are trudged up of when he asked me to the dance such a long time ago. Time is repeating itself, and I fear we will be stuck in a never-ending cycle of heartache until I break it.
I swallow hard. “I—We can’t.”
“Sure we can. I’ll pick you up, say, around seven for dinner?”
“Andrew. . .” God, it’s hard to think straight when he’s this close.
“Mhm?” He gets even closer.
I move back but run into the wall behind me. Taking a deep breath and closing my eyes, I achieve a moment of clarity. “I’m bad for you,” I warn.
“Let me worry about that,” he whispers. Taking my hand, he raises it to his lips giving my palm a soft kiss that makes me tremble. I’m so confused. Is this the real Andrew? Or is the dark version his true self? I don’t understand.
I swallow hard. “We agreed, a fresh start, just friends. Remember?”
He runs his tongue across his lips. He’s so close.
I don’t care who the real Andrew is, I just want his lips on mine.
“Okay, a date. As friends,” he agrees, giving my other palm a gentle kiss.
“Friends don’t kiss,” I whisper as I close the gap between us.
He gives me a wicked grin that kick starts my heart. “Won’t happen again.”
“Friends don’t do romantic dinners,” I say, narrowing my eyes.
He makes a face, but nods in agreement. “Okay, then lunch.”
I laugh softly but shake my head. “This is a bad idea, Blackwell.”
“Or, is this the best idea?” He leans forward, brushing his lips along the line of my jaw to whisper in my ear, “Be ready at noon, Kinsley.”
Tucking a strand of hair behind my ear, he murmurs a goodbye and leaves me with a fluttering heart and the roar of blood rushing in my ears. Blinking a few times, I turn and reach for the doorknob, but it’s yanked open from the inside.
“Bruh, what the fuck just happened?” Chase holds open the door, wearing only pajama bottoms. Fucking eavesdropper.
“The fuck if I know,” I moan as I walk past him.
After closing the door behind me, Chase mutters, “So you’re going on a date with him now? After all the shit he’s put you through this week?”
“Yep, a double date.”
“He didn’t mention anything about a doub—” He rounds on me. “Nope, not happening.”
He recoils from the dangerous look I shoot him.
“Aw, fuck,” is the last thing I hear before I turn out the lights and crawl into bed.