CHAPTER 4
Eleven Years Earlier
~Reese~
TEN DAYS, FIVE hours, and I check my watch. Thirty-three minutes. I should be working on the test in front of me, but I can’t wait to see Danny. He should be home any minute.
It’s been torture with no viable out-of-country cell service and his phone card ran out of minutes on our last call, almost five days ago.
The door slams open and I sit up, startled from the loud noise, but when I see Danny, I relax as if home has been found.
Danny walks into the auditorium and stops to look up. When he sees me, he turns to the teaching assistant coming toward him and smirks. She nods and waves him on. He takes the steps by two and rushes down my row apologizing to everyone he bumps and bothers along the way.
Sitting down next to me, his beautiful smile appears when I look up. “Danny,” I whisper, but I’m loud enough to get the attention of the test takers surrounding us. “You’re here.”
A girl sitting on my left is loud in her demand, “Shhhh.”
He cups my face and kisses me and all the lonely nights we spent apart fade away. When our lips part, clapping ensues, the auditorium of Communications 3.0 students hooting and hollering. Always the showman, Danny Weston never disappoints—me nor them. He stands up and takes a proud bow before kissing me again.
The teaching assistant shushes everyone, but her smile remains. “You have thirty-five minutes left. I suggest you get back to the test.”
Everyone settles down and he takes my hand to kiss it. “There’s more where that came from later.”
“Hopefully not so public next time,” I tease.
“I can’t make that promise. I do love to show off my girlfriend,” he whispers after getting a harsh glare from the girl on the other side of me again.
I tap my pencil against the small desktop in front of him that has the exam waiting on it. “We only have thirty-five minutes.”
He grabs the pencil I set before him and starts on the test. When I’m done, I leave quietly, giving him the last few minutes to finish up.
Ten minutes later, the doors are pushed open and Danny walks out. He looks left, then right and when he sees me, he comes to me. It’s winter, but the sun is bright outside. His gaze slides down over my curves—in at the waist, rounder over the hips. He loves the dip and takes hold. An unspoken bond, an unshakeable connection binds us together.
“Hey there, handsome. How’d you do?” I smile when I’m welcomed by his.
“I finished. I think I did okay.”
“Luckily you had an A going into the exam. I didn’t think you’d make it.”
Danny takes my backpack and swings it onto his shoulder before taking my hand. We walk outside together, and he says, “I’d say I made it just in time.”
I stop before we reach the corner of the building. Lifting up on my toes, I hug him, tucking my face into the base of his neck. “I missed you.”
His warm embrace is what I missed. His sweet smile and the way he looks at me—it’s a look envied by others, one that I read about in romance novels, and one that often appears in my dreams. So to see it again today after two weeks, I feel the need, an urge to touch him, to attach myself to him in ways that could end in heartbreak if I’m not careful.
We’ve been together for over a year, but these two weeks away has shaken our foundation. Unlike the short breaks prior when I went home or he did for a weekend, this was the first extended time apart, the lack of communication every day during that time—the long distance, different time zones, and the unknown hasn’t helped. I’ve been studying day and night, attending classes, and been here in his apartment by myself while he is hanging out on the beach with scantily clad women doing who knows what. My imagination always gets the best of me if I let it.
When we walk into his apartment, he asks, “Wanna go out tonight?”
“I have two finals tomorrow. When are yours?”
He sighs and drops my backpack just inside the door. “Tomorrow and Thursday. Then I’m done.”
“Me too.” Rushing to the dining table I start gathering my papers and books together. Looking around at the apartment, I suddenly feel awkward. “I kind of made myself at home.”
I follow him out of the corner of my eyes as he walks into the kitchen. “I’m glad. I like your stuff here.” When I walk into the small galley kitchen, I’m grabbed and pulled close. Brushing some hair away from my eyes, he asks, “What do you think about moving in here next semester?”
Peppered kisses to my neck are used as persuasive weapons. He knows I’m weak to them, but I love the onslaught too much to stop him. Closing my eyes, I reply weakly, “I can’t.”
“You can,” is whispered against my neck as he continues to kiss and suck, tugging my shirt collar to the side for more access to my bare skin.
His magic is working, but unless I want to be a puddle of happy goo on the floor, I need to stop so we can talk. I push back gently. “You’re evil with your sweet kisses. You know how weak I am to them.”
As he stalks toward me again, he grins. “I do.” I scurry out of the kitchen and straight into his trap—the bedroom. Standing on the other side of the bed opposite from him, he chased me in here, but stops with the mattress between us. “I missed you a lot.”
“What did you miss about me?”
“I missed your breath when we kiss. I missed your hands on me, when you touch me with the sole purpose to please me.” He takes his shirt off and tosses it behind him. My eyes lower, awakening other parts of his body. As he works on his belt and jeans, he says, “I missed being inside you and how when we’re like that, I never want to be anywhere else.”
My lips part as my expression surely must reveal my heart. I was never good at hiding my deepest emotions from him. He wants me as much as I want him. He slips off his jeans, then his boxer shorts and climbs under the covers. Lifting the covers on the side where I’m standing, he pats the bed. “Come here.” Then he says, “I miss you when you’re not here with me. I miss the way your eyes form two half-moons when you smile and a small dimple appears at the top of your left cheek when you’re laughing.” While I undress, he watches me, letting his gaze roam freely over my body. “I miss spooning you at night.”
I slip under the covers next to him. As we lie there in the room, naked in each other’s arms, we don’t move. We listen—with each of our breaths becoming shallower, harsher, and unsteady.
I turn to the side, our eyes meeting. With my finger tracing imaginary swirls across his chest, I say, “I missed kissing you and touching you. I missed you being inside me and feel half of a whole when we’re apart.” Reaching up, I touch his cheek. “I missed the way you watch me when you think I don’t see. I missed laughing. No one makes me laugh like you do. And I missed you spooning me. I just missed you.” I kiss him. “I’m so glad you’re home.” Moving even closer, our bodies become entangled together.
~Danny~
REESE CARMICHAEL FEELS like my future wrapped in my arms. The girls I posed with during the shoot in the Maldives were gorgeous, but superficial. Reese has depth and beauty, the kind of beauty that I, despite my popularity, feel I would never have. And she loves me. She loves me as much as I love her. Yes, Reese is mine, but more importantly, she will be mine forever.
Thinking about the ring I saved up for, New Year’s couldn’t come fast enough.
Positioned between her legs, I push in. A breath is pushed out and I drink her in. While I kiss the underside of her chin, she says, “I’m so glad you’re not leaving again anytime soon.”
I still. Not wanting to ruin this moment for her, or me, I start moving again, ignoring the inevitable conversation I’ll be having with her soon.
A few hours later, the heat is on, but Reese is cold. She’s wearing pajama bottoms and my sweatshirt, fluffy socks and she’s drinking coffee as she studies at the table.
I watch her from the sofa, burning my burdens into her back. Honesty has never been an issue between us, but it suddenly feels like an insurmountable obstacle to me. I can tell her the truth and risk her wrath or worse, a breakup. I can lie to keep the peace.
But dishonesty isn’t a part of my makeup, especially when it comes to Reese. I would want to know, so I feel she will as well. “I kissed a girl.”
Reese’s head jerks around until her gaze lands heavy on mine. “What?”
“It didn’t mean anything. I had to do it for the campaign I was shooting.”
She sits there, stunned into silence, so I continue, releasing all the truths as my shoulders sag down. “We had to make out on the beach, in the water… in a bed. It had to look real.”
A line forms between her eyes as she turns her body to the side to face me. “Was it? Real?”
Standing up, I shake my head. “No. No, it wasn’t. I thought about you the whole time.”
“Is that supposed to make me feel better, because right now I feel sick to my stomach.”
Hurrying over, I kneel next to her and put my hands on her legs. “It wasn’t real. It was all on set. Nothing more, but I did it. I did it because I had to for the job. But that’s all it was—a job.”
“Did you like it?”
“No.” Kind of. No. Fuck! I feel sick over that lie no matter how tiny it is. That kind of makes me reevaluate what I’m becoming after only one job. “I felt nothing for her.” That is true. She wasn’t my Reese. The model in the Maldives was a chain-smoking narcissist. No one was worth losing Reese over, especially not that model.
Present Day
I WAKE UP from the sun burning the back of my lids. Last night “something stronger” led me to do bad things… bad things like drinking tequila and tequila never leads to anything good from my experience. Okay, that one time in Ibiza was pretty damn good—Ouch!
My body hurts and my head is pounding. I roll over and right off the edge of the couch. When I hit hard, bright white tiles, I realize I’m at Luke’s. Fuckin’ tequila! Rolling onto my back, I lie there and close my eyes again. An image of how good Reese looked in that tight black skirt competes with the pounding in my brain. Shit. The whole reason I was drinking tequila in the first place was so I wouldn’t think about her and here she is the first thought I have in the morning. I thought I had successfully tucked her away with the other heartache she caused, but just one face to face and all those old emotions resurface. Fuck!
I sit up and rub my temples. When I see Luke passed out in a lounge chair on the patio, I start laughing, until that hurts my head, so I stop. Grabbing a pillow from the couch, I toss it as hard as I can and hit him in the head. He doesn’t budge.
After rolling my eyes, I stand up slowly and put on my sunglasses that are conveniently located on the coffee table next to me, and make my way into the kitchen. I grab two bottles of water from the fridge and search through the cabinets until I find Ibuprofen. Armed with what I hope is quick relief, I go back into the living room, pick up the pillow again and hit Luke over the head. “Wake up, princess.”
One eye, then the other opens and one side of his face scrunches together. “What are you doing here?”
“I was asking myself that same question.” Right after I was thinking about Reese’s hot little ass. I leave that part out of the conversation. Luke will never let me live it down if I don’t. I set down the pills and water, but remain standing. “What happened last night?”
“Beers. Shots. The pub. More beers. Tequila. Pancakes, I think. Janet—”
“Don’t you mean, Jenna?”
“Nope.”
“I’ve got one word for you—Jane.”
“If I could have Jane, I wouldn’t need Janet or Jenna.”
“Are you listening to yourself?” I ask, walking toward the door. “Maybe Janet and Jenna are the reason you don’t have Jane.”
“You’ve got all the advice in the world except when it comes to yourself. I’ve got one word for you—”
“Don’t say it.”
“Reese.” He laughs. “Hey look. I said it and nothing happened. The Earth didn’t open beneath your feet and swallow you whole. The apocalypse didn’t happen. The sun is still shining. Too brightly I might add, and guess what?”
“You’re an asshole?”
“We all know I’m an asshole. Guess again, Dan Man.”
Checking my watch, I realize I need to go if I want to get some Zs before the dreaded dinner tonight. Done with this conversation, I turn around and ask, “What? Just say it.”
“You survived hearing her name.”
“Whatever. I’ve got to go.”
“Hey, Danny?”
“What?” I shout over my shoulder as I open the door.
“You also talk in your sleep.”
With my hand on the handle, my gaze lands hard on the wood of the door and I glare straight ahead, freezing in place. He doesn’t need any encouragement from me. I just gave him plenty of ammo, and like the best friend he is, he’s not afraid to use it. “You won’t let me say her name, but you’ll mumble it all night long. How does that work when you have a lady friend staying the night?”
“You were right about one thing.” He doesn’t say anything, so I do. “You are an asshole.” I walk out to my Jeep. Sitting there I pop the pills and down the water. I start my engine and drive home, annoyed the whole way back. What the fuck ever with her and my so-called best friend? I don’t need that bullshit spewed back at me. I can take advice, even my own occasionally. It’s just not wise to do so. I learned that the hard way ten years earlier.
Move on.
Yep. That’s what I’ll do. Once again. Just like she did so easily from me.
So tonight is only business. I’ll lay it on thick, wine and dine them, seduce them with charm and make them never regret hiring me. I park at the curb out in front of my house and with a firm plan in place, I go inside and crash for a few hours.
My dreams are heavy, my past back to haunt me.