CHAPTER 33
~Luke~
LOS ANGELES AFTER hours is not my favorite scene. Not anymore. It’s funny how a place I’ve called home for so many years now seems foreign. I could say Austin changed my mind, but I’d be lying.
It’s the woman.
Jane woke me up in the middle of the night and told me she’d spent enough time in hotel rooms. She was ready to go home. Home. We packed our stuff and drove home together. I pull into my drive and park. Jane yawns as we sit in the car a moment longer just shy of five a.m. She looks at me and I voice what I think we’re both feeling. “We’re going to be okay. Everything will work out how it’s supposed to.”
“It will,” she replies, trying to sound convincing for me or herself, or maybe both.
“C’mon, let’s go inside.”
I grab her two suitcases and walk her to the door. After I unlock it, I push it open and let her go first. Watching as she walks in, I’m familiar with the setup after living here almost two years, but having her here, here as my wife energizes the air. Although the moonlight is on the verge of disappearing for the day, it remains bright for us, flooding the living room in greeting.
This was never supposed to be a forever house for me. It was always just a place for a moment. But with Jane’s aura, her soul filling the space, it feels more like a place I could call home permanently. I place the luggage just inside the door and go back for my bag and her boxes. When I return, she must not hear me because she’s standing in the middle of the living room just where I left her. I take the opportunity to look at her, really look at her. She’s too beautiful for the space, my stuff not fitting for her presence. I never committed to buying anything of quality after she left. Maybe my subconscious knew all along—life was always meant to be spent with her.
Setting the boxes down, I make a bigger production than necessary to give her the heads-up that I’m here. She turns, and says, “I’m not sure what to do, how to fit into your life. I’ve been here, but it feels foreign.”
“We have a lifetime to figure out how to do this again.” I shut the door and set the alarm. “Are you hungry? I can’t imagine I have much since I’ve been gone for a month, but I might have something in the freezer I can cook for you or find some snacks in the pantry.”
“I’m not hungry. Thank you.”
It’s too stiff in here, too formal. I try to break the ice. “I want to shower before bed. Wanna join me?”
“Yes.”
Hoping the plan Danny helped me put together is in place, I lead her upstairs, and then stay back when she enters the bedroom. Jane’s mouth drops open. A gasp. A hand covering her sweet lips. When she looks back at me, she asks, “How did you do this?”
“I have my ways of making magic happen when inspired, and you have inspired me, Mrs. Anders.”
I join her. She leans her back to my chest and tilts her head to the side while admiring the room reminiscent to the tree house I once wooed her in. “I love when you call me that.”
I kiss her neck, taking full advantage of tasting the delicate skin and then whispering in her ear, “I love calling you Mrs. Anders. It’s like calling you mine forever.”
Blankets and pillows cover the area in front of the fire. Flowers fill vases all around. “Just like the tree house. How did you remember?”
“I never forgot.” I walk from one candle to the next lighting them while Jane sits down on the pallet with awe in her eyes.
“You have candles this time.”
“We’re not sixteen anymore. No parents to hide from.” My grin is evidence of something more to come.
“You’re a sexy romantic, my sweet husband.”
“You deserve romance and,” I say, sitting down next to her and kissing her, “I want that picket fence and to have lots of babies with you.”
Her breath staggers. “You do?”
“I do.”
“Luke…” She drops her head down, and leans against my shoulder. “I never knew life could feel this good. I never thought I’d feel love so deeply. You’ve made my dreams come true.”
“They’re in the making, but we’ll make them all come true.” Lifting her chin up, I kiss her lips again. “And I feel the same for you.”
* * *
DANNY POINTS AT the biggest diamond on the dark blue velvet tray. “You have to go for that one. It’s princess cut, which women love. It’s just over two carats. Great clarity. That’s the one to seal the deal.”
“The deal is already sealed.”
He scoffs. “I can’t believe you just blurted it out in the back seat of her car. That was the sex talking, my friend.”
“It was morning… the sun was rising in the desert—Fine! It was the sex.”
He laughs. “Great sex will do that to you. I know this firsthand.” Patting me on the back, he adds, “I’m happy for you. This has been a long time coming, so buy the ring.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yes, Jane was very specific in the text she sent me.” He holds his phone up and shows me.
After glancing at the text, I ask the sales rep, “Do you giftwrap?”
* * *
“YOU GOT ME a present?” Jane asks.
“I did. Open it.”
She pulls the tissue from the bag and pulls out the box. Her eyes meet mine and I know what she’s thinking, my plan totally working. “Aren’t you supposed to, oh I don’t know, present it to me or something?”
“Open it, Janie.”
She unwraps the little velvet box. Glancing back at me briefly, her smile is contagious. I watch in anticipation as she opens the hinged box. The surprise is seen in her expression, her eyebrows raised. Another quick glimpse to me before returning to the box and reading aloud, “Do you have plans this Friday?”
Her memory serves her as well as mine. Twelve years after the first time I asked her that question, I ask her again, hoping for the same outcome. “I’m free,” she replies.
“Not for long.”
I drop down on one knee with the ring between my fingers. “The first time I ever saw you, I stumbled into my locker. My best friend teased me endlessly. Five years later, he was tripping over himself to get you to date him before I had the chance. But you saw through him. You also saw through me and right into my heart.” Taking her hand, I find joy in the expression in her eyes as she looks down at me. “Through all the years we’ve spent loving each other—whether we were together or not, we both knew it would always come back to us.”
I slip the ring on her finger as she whispers, “Oh, Luke.”
“I want to spend the rest of my life with you. If you give me your hand in marriage, Jane Anders, I will spend my life giving you A forever I owe you.”
“You were the most handsome boy I had ever seen, cuter than any movie star and swoonier than any boy band. I saw you coming from twenty feet away, but my heart wasn’t prepared for you. You stole it and my eternal love that day in eleventh grade. Now here you are stealing my breath away along with it.” She pulls me to my feet. Looking up at me, she says, “You had your answer that day, but just in case, yes, Luke Anders. You didn’t just steal my heart, you became it, so yes.” Giggles fill the room. “So that’s how you would have done it if you had a ring?”
“You deserved the full marriage proposal package. Did you like it?”
“I loved it just like this ring. It’s gorgeous.” She holds her hand up in the air and admires the ring on her finger. I spend the time admiring her instead.
I wake up before her in the morning, grab something from my closet that makes me laugh, and work my way to the spare bedroom. After adding to the box, I pull out one of many from our life before that I’ve stored in here. Setting it down on the coffee table in the living room, I push the black fabric and peek inside at the rest of the contents.
Before I have a chance to pull anything out, Jane comes down the stairs holding my phone. “Blaise keeps texting you.”
“I’m sorry. Did it wake you?”
“It’s okay. What are you doing up already?” She comes down the steps and sits next to me.
I take the phone and set it down next to the box. “I wanted to show you some of our stuff. I kept most of it.”
“You did?” she asks surprised. Reaching inside she pulls out a CD. “Foo Fighters.”
We chuckle. “That was your copy.”
“I can’t believe you kept it all these years.”
“It’s a great album.”
“It is. Do you have a CD player?”
“I have it downloaded.” I pick up the remote and turn on the sound system.
With a smile on her face, she digs in to find what else I’ve kept. Pulling out the black turtleneck, she laughs. “So I finally get my sweater back?”
“Yeah, I’m not going to need it anytime soon,” I joke.
It comes flying and hits me in the face. “Keep it. It looked good on you.”
My phone buzzes so I check the texts from Blaise, wondering why he’s even awake at this hour much less texting me. When I open the text there’s a link. I press it and am taken to an article on a gossip page.
Jessica Pyles Enters Rehab - Round Two.
“Shit!”
Jane sits back. “What is it?”
I grab the remote and turn on the TV. It’s headline news on every major station—Jessica Pyles enters rehab.
I’m dressed and out the door in fifteen minutes. I leave Jane with the box of memories and rush to talk to Jessica about the stunt she just pulled.
Malibu Cliffs – Oceanside, is a retreat for the rich and famous under the guise of a rehabilitation center that will help them kick their substance addiction. I’ve never known anyone to come out of there and actually stop using his or her drug of choice though. But it’s great at giving celebs time out of the camera’s eye.
Jessica’s games never cease to astonish me. I’m listed as a guest on her list at the facility. Of course I am. I’m let right in and directed to her room. I knock lightly to not disturb her neighbors though I’m curious who they might be.
When she answers I almost don’t recognize her. Her face is clean of makeup and she’s dressed in sweat pants and a baggy T-shirt. She looks younger than her twenty-five years and prettier without that mask she wears. “I’ve been expecting you.”
She opens the door wide, but I take a step back. “Want to go for a walk outside?”
“Sure. I can use some fresh air.” She reaches for a hand mirror, but stops herself before picking it up. Instead she grabs her room key and slips the chain over her head, wearing it as a necklace.
We walk side by side silently down the hall and through a living room. She leads me out a back door and past the pool, and then ten steps down to the beach. I say, “It’s a nice day to be at the beach.”
“I like this place better than my own home. That room in there has my stuff. My eight-thousand square foot house was decorated by a professional for looks, not for me.”
“Redecorate.”
“You make it sound so easy.”
“You’re in control of your life, Jessica.”
“Am I? ’Cause I don’t think I’ve been in control of my life in years… or maybe not ever.” She bends and picks up a tiny seashell. When she stands up, she gives it to me. “This is hard for me, Luke. I know you won’t believe anything I say, and you have that right, but I still need to say it.”
Her vulnerabilities are what make her a great actress. I want to put down my guard, but I’m not sure I should yet. “I’m here. Let’s talk.”
“The night we met was one of the lowest of my life.” We start walking again. “But there you were. You were funny and charming. You treated me like you cared.” She doesn’t wait for a response she knows is not coming. “I was disillusioned. My therapist reminded me that just because I want something does not mean I will always get it. You may have been one of those things.” She peers over. “I got fired that day from a movie I fought to get for two years.”
The anger I had for her starts to diffuse. It’s hard to hate someone who has struggled so much. She’s been used and abused by the Hollywood system and then is left alone to function as if it’s wine and roses and awards every day. “Why?”
“I’ve had problems with pills. The night we met, I drank too much and I was on an anti-depressant. You made me feel something for the first time in a long time. I got attached. I hadn’t had anyone treat me like a human in a long time.”
“How do they treat you?”
“Like a cash cow or an ATM.”
“I’m sorry.”
She stops and smiles. “Stop being nice. I basically destroyed your life and you’re apologizing to me? Don’t do that. I owe you. I’m sorry for everything. I’m especially sorry about you and Jane. She was actually very nice.”
“She is. Too nice when it comes to me.”
“I know you’ve spent time with her. You made up I hope.”
“We did.”
She laughs and playfully nudges me. “I had no doubt you’d be able to talk your way back into her life.”
“I should tell you that we have a long history together. I loved her before and I love her now.”
Jessica looks surprised but smiles. “I should have picked up on that. You two had a connection I thought was unbreakable.”
“You proved us wrong.”
“I’m ashamed of my behavior. I felt desperate for someone to love me, and you were there, again, in my life, maybe in my path is a better word. I just thought if you could give me a chance, spend time with me, that we could reconnect and maybe be more than we were.”
I’m about to speak, but she says, “Don’t say it. Please don’t say it. I know. I know our connection was only physical so I don’t need to dissect it.” She inhales deeply, then exhales with a sigh. “You were just so damn resistant all along, and then seeing how you treated Jane, how you looked at her… I don’t know. It fueled me somehow to make you as miserable as me.
“Then we would be miserable together?”
“Something like that. It was hateful, not just to you but to Jane, and to myself. I would have rather had a few weeks with someone than come back here to no one. It’s pathetic. I really am sorry.” She stops talking and starts walking again. “You know, I caught Ryan cheating on me. He was never interested in me. Not really. Not how I wanted. Pain makes people do desperate things.”
“It wasn’t about you.”
“When I found him having sex with a man, I kind of figured it wasn’t. We made a great couple for tabloids though. It was hard to face the reality of losing your boyfriend and your fame at the same time. What do you call someone used to protect someone’s sexuality?”
“A beard.”
A burst of laughter escapes her. “I was his beard.” She picks up another seashell but holds on to it this time. “How can I make amends, Luke?”
This almost seems too easy, but sincerity is heard and that’s what makes this time different than before. “I need you to finish this movie.”
“I can do that. I’m not a prisoner here. I just needed a timeout from my life, or more honesty, from the people in my life. So tell me where to be and I’ll be there.”
“Really?”
“Yep, and no strings attached. The movie is great. I’d like to see it through.”
“Thank you.” We turn around and start back. “I wasn’t wrong in casting you, Jessica. You portrayed Jude exactly how I saw her. Jane felt that, even after everything we put her through.”
“Thanks for saying that. I need to apologize to her personally. Does she like edible arrangements?”
I laugh. “She loves them, especially the ones with pineapple and chocolate.” The laughter ends when I see the pain she carries written in her eyes just beyond the joy of the moment. “You have a heart, Jessica, so don’t let managers and publicists, or the press define your character or write your ending. I know Hollywood sells our souls to the devil for a headline and a fee, but your life is more than one picture or sound bite.”
“You’re right. It wasn’t just my life that was broken. It was my soul. I was sick of feeling used by everybody. I grasped on to something that wasn’t real, but for brief moments, I didn’t feel so alone.”
“There are more movies in you and there are good people out there. Don’t lose hope and don’t give yourself away so easily. You deserve a good life. Make sure you allow yourself to have one.”
“Thanks, Luke, and I really am sorry.” We turn back.
This is the woman who won Hollywood over before she was ten. She can get back there, back to being healthy mentally, despite where she’s currently residing. “Thanks.” Walking up the steps, I say, “You deserve better than you think you do.”
“You think?”
“I know.” I stop her and hug her, surprising her again. Surprising myself. I would have never thought I would embrace her by choice, but here I am and it feels good to have things settled with her. Her arms hang at her sides for a few moments and then she hugs me back. I say, “This feels like the war between us might be over.”
We step apart, but the comfort between us remains. “I genuinely hope so. I don’t want to waste anymore time being upset, unhappy, or angry. I need peace for a while.”
“I hope you find it. I really do.”
“I appreciate that. I have more amends to make, but I’m a work in progress, so one day at a time.”
“You never were the patient type.”
“It’s only been three days. Damn. Give a girl a chance.” She laughs. Her smile is genuine. Her eyes are clear. It’s good to see this side of her. “I’m working on that too.” Once we reach the door, I stay and she steps inside. “Email me when you need me.”
“I will. Thanks again.”
“And good luck with Jane.”
Just the mention of her name makes me smile. “I think it will work out.”