CHAPTER 18
~Luke~
THE HOTEL ROOM is quiet. The thunderstorms continue outside the window, setting the scene as we work through the script. I sit on the bed with my legs stretched out, watching Jane a few feet away.
She’s poised at the window, just how I always saw this scene play out in my head. The lines from Until I Met You are spoken from somewhere deep inside, somewhere real and raw, as if she’s one of the characters we’re rehearsing. “You’re pistachio and I’m rocky road. They just don’t mix.”
“I could argue that, but I have a feeling anything I say wouldn’t matter.”
“That’s where you’d be wrong,” she says. “How long have we known each other?”
“We don’t know each other at all.”
“Ah,” she replies as Jude would, nailing the lines. “Yes, that’s right. You’re a Barrett.”
I read from the page in front of me, hoping I don’t break the magic. “And what are you again?”
“Hopeless. So very hopeless.”
“And here I thought I was the impossible one.”
Jane laughs. “Clever.” Standing up, she pretends to get dressed. “I called it the minute I saw it.”
“Saw what exactly? My eye color?”
“No. Your soul.”
I wait for her to say her next line, the line that I know means as much to us as it does to Hazel and Jude.
“I knew we’d be put in an impossible situation, a love affair that would mean more than it should, more than either of us could endure once it was over.” She looks away just as I see the pain in her eyes.
“Jane?”
She stays focused on the outside, droplets hitting the window in large splats, keeping the room inside gray to match the weather. “Yes?”
“We’re not Hazel and Jude. I’m Luke. You’re Jane. There’s nothing keeping us apart.”
When she turns to look at me, she asks, “Together. Is that what we get to be now?”
“We do.”
Her smile blooms and the room suddenly feels brighter because of it. “We should be together without rubbing it in everyone’s face.”
“I agree.” I kid, “No one should have to watch how I’m going to maul you.”
“For sure, and add to it that we’re reunited lovers on top of being hot for each other. No one wants to watch PDA between two reunited lovers. That’s the kind that turns X-rated and quick.”
Hearing her joke eases me. This movie is emotionally heavy. For a split second I was convinced she was speaking from the heart instead of from the script. I’m glad we’ve moved passed it. “Do you want to order food?”
“They don’t have room service here. Can we order delivery?”
“Anything you want.”
“Pizza. The answer is always pizza.”
“Then pizza it is.” I grab my phone and start searching for the name of the place across the street.
Fifteen minutes later, I walk out of my room to the Congress Street sidewalk. The storm has given us a slight reprieve from the rain. The streets are wet, the lights reflecting off them when cars drive by. Not even a minute later, she’s next to me smiling. So contagiously big. “You’re not very good at hiding this secret affair you just said we need to hide.”
Pointing at my ridiculously big grin, she remarks, “You aren’t either.”
“Then let’s not.”
While we walk to the corner to cross the street, she appears to ponder this option. “Is there anything contractually saying we can’t? I don’t want to ask my agent or she’ll tease me endlessly.”
I reach for her hand, my fingertips touching her palm before I remember to pull my hand back. “We can check when we get back, but I doubt it. I’ve never noticed any clauses like that. With that said, I’ve never had a reason to research it either, so there is that.”
“I like that.”
“You like that I’ve never researched it?”
“No.” She hip bumps me just as we reach the other side of the street. “I like that you’ve never had a reason to research it.”
I grab her playfully around the shoulders and pull her to me, giving her a light noogie without messing her hair up completely.
Pushing off me, she laughs and my breath stops, her beauty overwhelming me. I look away, not wanting her to see how much and how easily she affects me.
This woman could destroy me in the blink of an eye. What if she changes her mind about us, about me? All this happiness could be gone in an instant. The security I was giving her earlier has been lost on me.
I want to touch her.
I want to hold her hand.
I want to kiss her.
I want her…
“Paybacks are hell, Anders. Remember that.”
I chuckle, playing along to hide my feelings on the inside. “I will. I might even remind you.”
“Did you call in the order?” she asks, eyeing the long line out the door.
“I did. When you were getting dressed. It should be ready. We can pick it up and walk somewhere or return to eat in the room?” I look up at the stormy sky. “The rain has let up, but it doesn’t look like for long.”
“Let’s be rebellious and eat in bed.” When we reach the pick-up line, she says, “This must be some damn good pizza. Is it wrong to be so excited about pizza?”
“If it’s wrong I don’t want to be right.” I hold the door open for her and we go to the counter.
When we return to the courtyard with our box of goodness, Scalia is out vaping. Jessica next to her, and some guy I don’t recognize. Several bottles of wine are open on their table. Scalia raises her arms and waves us over. “Jane. Join us.”
Guess it’s a private party. I stop anyway, and wait, only sort of worried about Jessica and Jane talking. I don’t think Jessica would say anything to her, but I can’t guarantee it either. With all Jane and I have been through lately, I don’t want us screwed up again.
Jane keeps things light, friendly, when she says, “We got a pizza. We’re gonna eat and go over some scenes.”
Scalia coos, “I’m starved.”
Jessica adds, “So am I.” Her eyes are on me.
Somehow we end up hosting a pizza and beer party in my room. Jane is patient but antsy. She gets up frequently and paces a bit. We play cards—blackjack, poker, Go Fish, Memory. It’s fun, but not as much fun as I originally had intended for tonight. The rain stopped for the night and moods are lighter, the beer also playing a part in that.
By midnight, Jane yawns. It’s the third in a row. She casually looks around the room and leans back, settling in even more than she has. Resting her head on her hand, her eyes start to close. Jessica, who seems more awake than anyone, laughs loudly. Jane’s eyes flash open and she sighs. Standing up, Jane looks at me, and says, “I’m gonna go to bed.”
Jessica smiles. If I had drank less I might have picked up on the clues. Too eagerly, she says, “Goodnight, Jane. See you tomorrow.”
Scalia asks, “You sure you don’t want in on the next round?”
Jane eyes me as she passes by. She makes a sad face that the others can’t see. “I’m good. Too tired. Have fun.”
The one person I want to spend time with is leaving, and there’s another round? Fuck. “I think I’m calling it a night.” Hint. Hint.
Scalia gets to her knees, reaching to gather the cards. “We can keep going in my room if you guys are up for it?”
Jessica’s mind does a one-eighty. “Actually, I’m super tired. I’m going to stay and help Luke clean up then go to bed.” She looks back at me and winks, then puts on her charade for Scalia, helping her get the cards in order.
The door closes harder than expected and we all turn to see Jane has left. Shit.
Scalia stands, beer in one hand, cards in the other. “It was fun. We should do it again.” She heads to the door with a guy named Joe without being asked.
“It was,” I say, following behind her. “Don’t worry about the mess, Jessica. I’ve got it.”
“No worries at all. I hate leaving you with a mess.”
Scalia laughs. “I have no problem leaving you with it. Next time I’ll host and let you leave your bottles for me to clean up. Night.”
“Ha! Thanks. Night.” She walks out and I stand there with the door open, being more than obvious. “It’s like ten bottles, Jessica. I’ve got it.”
It’s apparent she’s not giving up the excuse to stay, so I let the door close, and go to help. That way she’ll leave sooner and I can get over to Jane’s. I’m not sure if it’s the door clicking closed or the beer she’s drunk, but as soon as we’re alone, she’s on me.
Before I can stop her, her lips are on my neck, her arms wrapped around me, fingers in my hair. Shit. She whispers, “Finally alone.”
Pushing her back, I say, “We’ve talked about this. I’m not available.”
“You said it was complicated. Now you’re not available?” I’d say she looks disappointed but she’s too determined to let the reality of the words deter her.
With my hands firmly in place between us, I’m steady when I say, “It’s not happening. You need to go.”
Feigning offense, she starts blinking rapidly. Her bottom lip sticks out and she actually manages tears. She’s quite the award-winning actress. “But Luke, I’m lonely.”
“Unfortunately, I’m not.” Next door the TV starts blaring… Shit. “You need to go.”
The tears are gone. Just like that, and anger replaces them. “What is wrong with you? Do you know how many people would kill to sleep with me?”
“It doesn’t matter. I’m not one of them. Anymore. I’ve tried to be polite, but you refuse to listen.”
She pouts and crosses her arms over her chest. “Because it’s one night. No one will know.”
Crash.
A loud noise comes from next door. Fuck. I need to get her out of here. “I’ll know.”
When her tears return for their second audition, my words start rushing out. “I’m sorry if I’ve hurt your feelings.”
Her eyes go wide. “You’re for real, aren’t you?”
I nod, then walk to the door. When I open it, I say, “I’m sorry, Jessica.”
As if she refuses to comprehend what’s happening, she walks toward me in a daze. “I thought your complication was just that.”
“I’m sorry,” I repeat, this time looking her straight in the eyes so there is no misunderstanding. “My complication is not as complicated as I once thought.”
“But…” She shakes her head, staring at me in disbelief. Her eyes narrow as her temperament suddenly changes. “You’ll pay for this. I’ve never been so insulted in my life. I swear to God.” She walks past me without any other acknowledgement. “I will make you pay.”
I feel bad for hurting her feelings at first because I know she’s not a horrible person, until the threats come flying out. She’s like most stars in Hollywood. They’re crazy, that world eating away a little more of their souls with each year they live in the limelight. Her threats mean nothing. It’s just an actress having a diva moment. She has them more often than most. There’s nothing she can do to me.
The TV next door is still on—loud and clear. I lock the front door and go to the other. After knocking lightly, I turn the handle and it opens without resistance.
Jane is leaning against the wall three feet in front of me, her eyes set, freezing me to the spot. I know she heard what happened with Jessica, and I’m about to speak but she puts her finger to her mouth, and says, “Shh.”
I expect to get reamed, but anger isn’t the winning emotion on her beautiful face. Lust is. “You kept me waiting. I almost went to bed. Alone. Do you know how disappointed I would have been if I’d gone to bed alone?” Still standing there stunned, I watch in complete fascination as she takes her shirt over her head. “I like you in my bed. I want you there every night. I’ve become spoiled.” Her jeans come down. Then her undergarments are gone and she’s before me completely naked.
The TV drowns out my hard swallows, fortunately. I watch as her hands run the length of her torso and over her beautiful tits. “Difficult indeed,” I mumble, following her hands until she stops one between her legs while one remains on her breast.
I only look up when she says, “I’m yours. This is all yours, Luke. But never forget, you’re mine, too. You’ll always be mine.”
Panting, I mutter, “I won’t. I never have.” My cock is straining against the denim that’s become too tight in the inseam.
“Do you see this wall?”
“Yes.”
“I want you to fuck me against it. Will you do that for me?”
“Yes,” I respond again, feeling a lot like that’s the only word I’m currently capable of.
“Come here.”
When I do, the palms of her hands run over my chest before tugging at my shirt. I take it off, and then watch as she kisses where her hands were. She works on undoing my jeans. I step out of them and watch as she slides lower, taking my boxers with her. My hands tangle into her hair as her tongue tangles with my cock. When she takes me in her mouth, my back hits the doorframe. “Fuck.”
Cold air swallows me instead when she stands up and nips my jaw. Pulling my hair, she’s up on her tiptoes, my head jerked to the side, my ear to her mouth. “Talk to me.”
Taking hold of the hair at the nape of her neck, I pull her head back until she releases mine and our eyes meet. “Get back on your knees.”
“Say my name.”
“Get on your fucking knees, Jane.”
The smallest of grins passes quickly across her lips before it’s gone and she’s on her knees again, taking me wholly between those sweet pink lips. With one hand at the base of my cock, her other hand finds mine woven into her hair. She adds her own pressure, so I do as she requests and add mine to the back of her head, pulling and pushing likes she wants.
She moans, the vibration and the tightness of her hold around me, causing me to react. My head hits the wall as she fucks me with her mouth.
I’m close. Too close. Too soon.
My thoughts go fuzzy as my body reacts, fisting her hair, and thrusting. “Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.” Breathing comes hard after and I open my eyes. Leaning back, Jane looks up at me. Our eyes are on each other until I say, “Get on the bed.”
And she does.
I never thought the girl I once knew—her body, her mind, her everything—would ever like being commanded. But maybe like me, she’s changed and more open to what we like now instead of what we were then. Maybe we needed the time away to allow us to change things up. Had we fallen into habits in our sex life? I don’t think so. But this? This is hot, and well worth the wait.
She is every fantasy I’ve ever had rolled into one. She always was, and remains the center of every fucking sexual thought I have. No other woman stood a chance against her memory. No matter if their name started with J or any other letter of the alphabet. No one was ever going to replace Jane.
I walk to the bed, her naked body lying in the middle. Her face set on mine, waiting for the next command. With the real thing before me, I waste no time. “Spread your legs for me, baby.”
Her knees butterfly open and I lick my lips when I spy her pink pussy. A fucking flower with the sweetest of scents, I debate if I want to fuck her, inhale her, or eat her.
“Luke?”
Looking back up at her, I ask, “What?”
She takes a deep breath, and says, “I missed you. More than you’ll ever know. More than you’ll ever believe. I did.”
Kneeling before her, I breathe out my own deep breath. “I know, baby. I know.” I make love to her with my mouth, and then fuck her into ecstasy.
Time has passed, but I have no idea how much. I watch Jane with her eyes closed, the moonlight falling beside the bed. I know she’s not asleep by her breathing and reach my hand over, holding hers. “I thought you’d be mad at me,” I whisper in the dark.
She rolls onto her side, resting her head on my chest while her hand runs over my stomach. “Why would I be mad?”
“Because of what she said.”
“I’m not mad because of what you said.” Looking up at me, she smiles lightly, thoroughly worn out, and I mentally high-five myself, pride from putting that relaxed and happy expression on her pretty face. “You told me to trust you. I do.”
“Thank you.”
“Let’s go to sleep before I say something I shouldn’t.”
“So you are mad?” I ask surprised.
“No, quite the opposite, in fact. And we shouldn’t be going to that opposite yet. It’s too soon.”
Now I’m smiling but it’s not small. It’s big because I’m wide-awake and happily in opposite for her. I’ll take it slow because slow with her is better than fast with anyone else.
I kiss her forehead, and then she slides her head back down. I kiss the top of it, right in the middle of her gorgeously messed-up hair, and whisper, “I feel the opposite of mad for you too.”