CHAPTER 20
Ten years earlier
~Reese~
HE LIED. DANNY lied to me. As I stare at the proof in my hands, I look up and stare out the library window. Why would he lie about something so easily found out? What are his motives? What are his thoughts? I have no idea what he’s thinking anymore. We have been out of sync for a while, but what I thought was a temporary speed bump in our relationship might be turning into a dead end.
I tuck the magazine into the back of my notebook and slam it closed. He should be getting back any minute and I promised I would meet him at his apartment, so I pack up my stuff and take off across campus.
When I walk in, I hear the shower. I drop my bag by the door and head toward the sound of running water. The door to the bathroom is open, but I knock anyway not wanting to startle him.
Pushing the curtain to the side, he peeks out. “Hi.”
My heart flutters from his smile as if I’d forgotten how attractive he is. He’s gorgeous and I lean against the door as my knees weaken. “Hi.”
The curtain opens wider and he invites me in, “Join me.”
I’m tempted, but when I look in his eyes, I wonder what lies he’ll tell me this time. Pushing off the door, I step back. “I’ll wait for you out here.” I leave, not wanting him to try and convince me because I will. I’ll go to him, as I’ve missed him so much.
I get a glass of water and wait on the couch. The shower stops and I listen intently as he steps out. Rounding the corner, he stops and looks confused. “Why are you out here?”
With my glass held between both my hands over my lap, I say, “I wanted to give you some privacy.”
Chuckling, he says, “I don’t need privacy from you. I want the opposite. Remember, what’s mine is yours.”
“How did the shoot go?”
“Italy was incredible. I can’t wait to take you one day. There was this little bar we would hang out at until it closed at three a.m. That bar is hundreds of years old. It was really ama—”
I stand and set my water down on the coffee table, forgetting to use a coaster. Taking the magazine out of my notebook and bag, I walk over and hand it to him. I return to the couch, this time, hugging a pillow to my chest and watching him as he studies the magazine. “You saw the ad?”
“I did.”
He tosses it to the coffee table almost hitting the glass. He tightens the towel around him, frustrated, “I should get dressed.”
“Probably.”
I hold his gaze until he turns with a heavy exhale and goes to his bedroom. I’m not kept waiting long. He reappears minutes later, walking around the corner rubbing his hair with the towel. He tosses it into the bathroom then returns to sit in the chair near me. “You obviously have something on your mind. Should we talk about it?”
“I’m not sure I can talk. I’m mad, but more than that, I’m hurt.”
“I’m sorry.”
“For what, Danny?”
“Whatever will make this better.”
There’s something insanely sweet about his sentiment and I understand his desire because I feel the same. This can’t be solved that simply. “You lied to me.”
“I lied,” he says, jumping at the chance to make this go away. “I’m sorry.”
“I just wish it was that easy, that straightforward. But it’s not. I’m now left wondering what else you’ve lied to me about.”
“Nothing. I swear to you.”
“You’re saying you’ve only lied to me that one time?”
“I kissed her. I was new and thought it would be a one-time thing.”
“It won’t be?”
“No, Reese. It won’t.”
I wanted him to tell me the truth, but it stings. My mind wanders to what’s really happening when he’s gone. “Did you kiss someone in Italy?”
“I did,” he replies instantly, not even attempting to ease my mind. “And I will again. But I can tell you it’s for work, nothing more. I’ve never kissed anyone off camera other than you since the day we met.”
His honesty incites traitorous tears that prick the corners of my eyes. As they fall down my cheeks, he moves closer, sitting on the edge of the coffee table, his knees trapping mine. The spot is cramped, but there’s nowhere I’d rather be than right here with him. “I can fight you on this.”
“You won’t.”
“How do you know?”
“Because I know you and you know I’m telling the truth.” Picking up the magazine, he holds it between us. “These are photos, professional photos to convince people we’re a couple to sell a product. This will never be us. These photos portray an illusion.” He drops the magazine and takes my hands in his. “We’re real, Reese. Real. They can’t touch what we have. They can’t manufacture what I feel for you.”
My heart is torn between wanting to believe him and what seeing those photos did to my trust. I love him. It’s that simple. Leaning my forehead on his shoulder, his hand rubs down my back.
Kissing my head, he adds, “I love you. I need you to believe in what we have.”
“Do you?” I whisper.
“More than anything else in my life. I have you. I have someone worth coming home to.”
“I’m not sure I’m strong enough to deal with this.”
“You are,” his voice dropping down. “You’re stronger than you realize.”
Lifting my head, my gaze follows and lands on his. “I’m strong when we’re together. When we’re apart, I don’t know what to believe.”
“Believe in me.”
Present Day
~Danny~
I TAKE THE stairs by two, sprinting down the hall. Knocking, I say, “Reese, open up. It’s me.”
I knock again.
“Come in.”
When I open it, she’s standing in a room full of sunshine but with what looks like heartache on her face. I push the door closed as I close the distance between us. Despite her hands starting to come up, I kiss her before the words can be said. Before regrets are spoken. Before history repeats itself.
I kiss her until faith is restored.
I kiss her until she remembers how good we can be.
I kiss her until she believes in me…
Again.
Suddenly things change and she’s now kissing me.
Restoring my faith.
Reminding me how good we are together.
Believing in me.
Again.
Her hands are on my shoulders, and she’s stretching to kiss me. I bend and lift her into my arms. Her legs wrap around me and I move her to the bed, slowly lowering her onto her back while staying right where I want to be.
The dress she’s wearing gives me access to run my hands down her outer thigh while I press my erection against her. She squirms and maneuvers around, settling on top of me. She’s breathing hard, her hair is a mess, and her lips are red from uninhibited kisses. Her palms hold me down when all I want to do is drag her under me and kiss her again.
The smile that shines through the sunlight flooding the room is one free of deep concern. It’s the lightest one I’ve seen since… just since. She asks, “What are we doing? We said one time.”
Grabbing her by the hips, I move up, letting her settle back down, as I come up face to face. “We’re not the one time kind of love, baby.”
She kisses me, then runs her fingertip over my lips. “What kind of love are we?”
“We’re the insatiable kind, the kind that stays long after the other is gone, the type you can deny, but you can never stop feeling. Not ever.”
Wrapping her arms around me, she hugs me and I hold her just as tight while sitting all the way up.
With lips to my ear, she whispers, “Make love to me.”
“I don’t have to make. We already feel it.”
“You love me?”
“I never stopped.”
Tears fill her eyes and her hands touch my face. Her breath is but a feather-light whisper against my lips when she says, “You silly, foolish man.” Her lips meet mine and our tongues engage, a slow dance beginning. Our bodies slide together until I’m on my back again. She slips off the bed. With the light haloing her body, she takes her clothes off.
The evening is lazy, like we have our whole lives to spend in this bed. We both know better, but it feels good to pretend. Just for a little while.
The rest of the world fades away. Our bodies each other’s.
No beginning.
No end.
Only one.
Us together.
Reese rests on top of me. Naked. Baring her soul without even realizing it. She sleeps in such peace. I rub the back of her head, wanting her to feel that peace for as long as she can. I’ll take the burden that we face when she wakes up and carry it for both of us.
Through the windows—gray, coral, and yellow have replaced the bright blue. While the sun sets outside, I try my damnedest to set my feelings for this woman aside. She said it’s only a one-time thing. Although I can argue we broke her rule the second time we had sex. By the third, I rest my case.
We’ll leave Marfa in the morning, return to our respective coasts, and right back into our regularly scheduled lives. Apart. As if the last few days don’t matter. As if what happened between us never existed. This is what she wants, what she needs from me. I have to be strong. I can’t let these few days get in my head and twist my reality.
I close my eyes, still my hands, and try to find some of that peace Reese has found.
* * *
LAUGHTER FROM DOWN the hall infiltrates the room where darkness has conquered. A streetlight in the distance, on the other side of the glass, teases us with shadows. My chest feels empty—inside and out, knowing this is it.
Despite wanting to remain in the darkness, in an ignorance of bliss, I open my eyes. Turning my head, Reese lies next to me, her eyes open, a wet line on her cheek streaking to the pillow. I roll to the side and wipe it away. Leaning forward, I kiss her where it was, as if that could clear the pain as easily as it was for me to wipe it away.
I do what I hate doing, but have to. I lie. “It’s going to be okay.”
In my eyes, she sees beyond the lie. With her hand resting over my heart, she feels the truth. But she doesn’t say anything. She just nods and closes her eyes. Her cheek replaces her hand and I wrap my arm around her.
* * *
I WAKE UP with the sun, but the light gives me no warmth. Running my hand over her side of the bed, the sheets are cold. I’m alone. Silence fills the small space where she once filled it with her beauty, where we once filled it with our love. No evidence of her remains.
She’s gone.
Images flash through my mind causing my head to pound. Kissing Reese. Making love to her. The intensity of her eyes on me as I moved in and out of her. Her tear-streaked face. The look in her eyes when we knew our time was up.
Sitting up, I rub my eyes and yawn. I get dressed and go back to my room. When I open the door, there’s a note on the floor. I pick it up and sit on the corner of the bed to read it.
Danny,
You always were a good liar.
I laugh, some of the weight looming over my shoulders lifts, and I continue to read.
We may never have New York or Paris, but we’ll always have Marfa.
See you around,
Reese
Holding the note in hand, I fold it closed while staring at the wall. Yes, we’ll always have Marfa, but I want more.
Three hours later, I’m sitting on a plane in El Paso, waiting to take off. Becs is next to me reading a magazine. I have my phone on the tray in front of me, my headphones plugged into them. She says, “You should call her, or at least text her.”
“What you do know about ‘her’ when it comes to me?” I ask, a small grin tugging on my lips.
“I have eyes. We all do.”
“I might have screwed up.”
“With her?” she asks, seeming surprised.
“No. By opening that wound. Um, I mean door.”
“Wound. Door. You’ve got my attention. Which is it? Wound or door?”
“Door,” I say, trying to convince her of the story Reese and I concocted back in LA on that first trip.
She shifts, angling toward me, so I try to stop this interrogation before it begins. “Nothing’s going on, Becs. Just forget about it.”
“From the way Ms. Carmichael looked this morning, she won’t be forgetting about it anytime soon.” She picks her magazine back up, thumbing through it as if what she just said is meaningless when it means everything.
“You saw her?”
“I did. Bryker, Vittori, and Reese were checking out and heading to the airport together.”
She stops, so I encourage, “Go on.”
“I was drinking my coffee in the sitting room off the lobby. I had a clear view of them. She was laughing, carefree. I might venture to say happy. She looked relaxed considering the hour. Maybe this was a mini vacation for her. You know what a rat race Manhattan is.”
Becs reads me too well. “Or maybe a certain hot male model spent the night making her forget about that rat race.”
I turn back to staring at my phone on the tray.
Her elbow nudges me on the armrest. When I look at her, she says, “I won’t tell anyone, Danny. I can’t be bought and I don’t sell out my friends. I consider you a friend. I hope you know that.”
Real friends are hard to come by. In this business someone’s always looking for how to use you in one way or another to further his or her career. So when I give my trust, it’s because the person has proven trustworthy on more than one occasion. Becs has never used me or been anything but honest with me. “Thank you. I consider you a friend as well.”
She giggles and says, “Now that we’re established friends, she was glowing. Noticeably different in the way she moved with such ease and laughed so lightly.” Listening to her describing Reese, I imagine her in my head, and hope I made her feel that way. “Vittori even commented on the difference.”
“What did he say?”
“I didn’t hear the first part, but when Bryker left for the car, Vittori told her she looked, and I quote, ‘happy.’ And then he added, ‘and freshly fucked,’ end quote.”
I don’t say anything, but my grin grows.
She adds, “Our secret, but if I had to give a description to the police, I might use those same three words for her.” She laughs quietly and opens the magazine back to the page where she left off, not expecting me to confirm or deny. Becs leaves me sitting there in the knowledge that Reese left feeling much like I feel now. With no regrets.