“So, what’s going on with you and Novak?” Parker put his feet up on Eli’s coffee table and crossed one foot over the other. He twisted the cap off his beer and tossed it by his feet. “You’ve been over there almost every night.”
Images of being on his knees in front of Jake, taking him into his mouth, the look on Jake’s face as he came, all flashed in his mind. “Nothing’s going on,” Eli lied. “I’m just trying to help him out.”
“You know, you can talk to me.”
Eli sat down on the other end of the couch. “And tell you what? Since when do we talk about this shit, man?”
Parker sighed. “Fine. Don’t talk.” Picking up the remote, he turned the TV on and began flipping channels.
Eli leaned his head back on the couch and closed his eyes. “Truth is, I don’t know what’s going on. I ended it, now it sort of started up again, but he’s got too much shit on his plate right now to worry about what’s going on with us.”
“How many chances you gonna give him?” There was no malice or judgment behind Parker’s words. He seemed genuinely curious.
“Who the fuck knows. I don’t even know if what happened the other night is ever going to happen again.”
“The other night, huh?” Parker teased, waggling his eyebrows.
Eli laughed but didn’t elaborate. “I’m just taking it day by day. He couldn’t give more than that right now even if he wanted to.”
“But if he could give more?”
Eli didn’t want to admit how gone he actually was, but with just the two of them there, he felt like he could be honest about it. “I’d take it in a fucking heartbeat.”
Parker nodded his head and took a swig of his beer. “I felt like that once.”
“Yeah? Do I know him?”
“No, I knew him from Ocean Point where we grew up. You know Sarah, my best friend who lives in North Carolina? Her older brother.” Parker stared off into space for a minute, took another swig of his beer, and absently said, “Jason.”
“What happened with him?”
“He found a bigger closet in Boston.” Parker glanced over at Eli and laugh humorlessly.
“Shit, man. That sucks.”
“Yup,” Parker agreed. “Novak’s nothing like him though. I really think all he needs is time.”
“We’ll see,” Eli replied.
Jake was uneasy about the appointment he was taking Nick to, but it was obvious from his outburst the other day that things weren’t getting better. They hadn’t talked about what happened, mainly because Jake was worried it would happen again.
He’d already met with the psychologist ahead of time and had gone over Nick’s medical history, the guardianship, his emotional status, and filled out all the paperwork he needed. Luckily, at the suggestion of Avery, and the fact that the wills gave him parental responsibility, Jake had sent a copy of both wills to his insurance company and added the boys.
Nick leaned an elbow on the door, rested his head in his hand, and sighed loudly for at least the fifth time in the short drive. He acted like this whole thing was an inconvenience, but Jake could tell Nick was incredibly nervous. When they pulled into the parking lot of the medical building, Nick sat up and started fidgeting. Jake parked the car, and they both sat there for a moment, staring out the windshield.
“I need you to know this isn’t some kind of punishment.” He glanced over at his nephew who, at the moment, seemed younger than twelve. “You’re not comfortable talking with me, and that’s okay. You don’t have to talk to me. I just want you to feel like you have someone you can talk to, okay?”
Nick looked over at Jake, and the pain in his nephew’s eyes was staggering. Please let this help him. Nick nodded his head which was the most response he’d gotten from him in weeks. Jake let out a relieved breath and opened his door.
Dr. Harper was a patient man; more patient than Jake could ever be with someone who was ignoring him. Nick hadn’t uttered a word in the ten minutes they’d been there.
“Jake, why don’t we start with you,” the doctor suggested.
“What do you mean?”
“How has all of this affected you?”
“Where do I start? My whole world has changed.” Jake rubbed his hands on his thighs. “All I want to do is make sure these kids are okay. It keeps me up at night. Every decision I make, I wonder if Kevin and Maggie would have done it differently.” Jake paused for a second and glanced at Nick. “And I’m so worried about him.”
“What worries you about Nick?”
“He’s…” Jake hesitated, afraid to say the wrong thing.
“He’s what?” Dr. Harper asked.
“He’s pushing us all away. Even Dylan, who…just wants his brother back.”
“How does it make you feel to hear that from your uncle, Nick?”
Nick nervously wrung his hands and shrugged his shoulders. Jake’s frustration was growing by the minute.
“Jake, I’m going to ask you to sit in the waiting room. I’ll ask you to join us again for the last ten minutes of the session.” The doctor looked at Nick. “Is that okay with you, Nick?” Nick shrugged his shoulders again, giving the doctor nervous glances.
Jake rubbed his hands on his thighs and looked at Nick. “Okay.” He was nervous to leave Nick alone with the doctor, but if it got him to open up, then it was worth a shot.
An hour later, Jake was pulling in the driveway, feeling mentally and physically exhausted. He’d rejoined the doctor and Nick for the end of the session. They’d talked about a plan of action, deciding Nick would see the doctor at five o’clock every Tuesday and Thursday with Jake sitting in on the last ten minutes. Jake was going to need someone to watch Dylan, but he was hoping Nina could sit with him for an hour.
Nick opened the door as soon as the car stopped and quickly walked into the house. By the time Jake got through the front door, Nick had already closed himself off in his room. Baby steps.
He heard voices from the kitchen and went that direction. The last thing he expected to see was Eli. He’d been so wrapped up in thought, he didn’t even see Eli’s car out front. There were mixing bowls and ingredients spread all over the counter. Nina and Dylan were busy stirring something in one of the big bowls while Eli was rolling out dough. Rolling. Fucking. Dough. Jake tried to hold in the laugh, but it was too damn funny.
“What are ya doin’ there, Betty Crocker?” Jake smirked when Eli looked up and a smile spread across his gorgeous face.
“What’s it look like I’m doing?” Eli’s tattooed arms flexed with the movement of the rolling pin.
“Uncle J! Nina is teaching me and Eli how to make an apple pie. Wanna see?” Jake’s laughter turned to a warm and fuzzy feeling inside—and he sure as hell didn’t do warm and fuzzy. But seeing how Dylan’s face lit up with excitement was such a relief. His temperament and sense of humor gradually seemed to be going back to what it was before the accident. And that was fucking huge.
“Yeah, kid. It smells amazing in here.” Jake let his nephew pull him over to the counter, and his eyes automatically focused on Eli.
“That’s ‘cause we already have a bigger pie in the oven. Nina said we can keep the big one, and she’ll take the little one home. Right, Nina?”
“Right, sweetheart. I think growing boys deserve a bigger pie. Besides, Stan needs to watch his sugar intake, and if I bring home the bigger pie, he’ll eat the whole darn thing.”
Jake looked at her and smiled then shifted his gaze back to Eli. “You gonna stay and help eat the pie?”
Eli looked at Jake like he’d grown a third eye. “After all my hard work? Of course, I am.”
“Good.” Jake couldn’t take his eyes off Eli. He had this way of making Jake feel calmer. Eli smiled and looked back down at what he was doing.
When Jake turned to Nina, she gave him a funny look. For a second, he thought maybe she was uncomfortable with how Jake and Eli interacted, but then she smiled sincerely, and Jake knew she was okay with it. She shifted her eyes to Eli and the smile grew.
“So, how’d it go?” Eli asked, bringing Jake full circle with his thoughts.
“As well as can be expected. Nick still has to get used to it and so do I. The doctor seemed nice, though. So, we’ll see.” Jake sat down on one of the barstools across from the apple pie assembly line. “I have to take him every Tuesday and Thursday at five. Nina, do you think you’d be able to watch Dylan? I know it’s asking a lot, but I don’t know who else could do it.”
“What about Eli?” Dylan had a hopeful gleam in his eyes as he popped a piece of apple in his mouth.
The corner of Eli’s mouth lifted in a small smile as he looked at Dylan. He seemed to genuinely like spending time with Dylan which was a huge relief to Jake. Then Eli focused on Jake and his smile grew.
“You know, I just don’t think I’ll be able to do it. I just joined a…uh…” Nina thought for a minute, and Jake didn’t miss her glancing back and forth between him and Eli, “class! That’s it!” She cleared her throat and began cleaning up the kitchen, not meeting anyone’s eyes. “A cooking class,” she added. “So, Eli, it would be easier for me if you could do it.” She went to the sink behind Eli and started rinsing off dishes and filling the dishwasher. When she looked up she stared directly at Jake with wide eyes then nudged her head in Eli’s direction. What the…? She rolled her eyes and huffed. “Jake, why don’t you ask Eli?” Oh…
Jake looked hesitantly at Eli. He leaned on the guy for so much lately, but Jake didn’t know who else Dylan would be comfortable with. Watching Dylan at five, twice a week, would probably be too hard for Avery being a lawyer. At least, he assumed it would be. “Do you think you could?”
Eli had planned on helping Jake anyway, but Jake actually asking was an added bonus. “Yeah, I can be here.”
“Yes!” Dylan threw his arms in the air, like he’d won a prize.
Jake stared intently at Eli; there was so much unsaid between them. They still needed to figure things out, but everything finally seemed to be moving in the right direction for Jake and the boys. At least, they all hoped Nick would begin to heal. Whatever the hell was going on between Eli and Jake could wait.
“Well, boys, I think I’m going to head home and make a quick dinner for me and Stan. I’ll pick up the other pie tomorrow. When the timer goes off, take the bigger pie out of the oven. The other one should be in there for about thirty minutes.” She untied the apron and hung it on a hook on the wall. “There’s some leftover lasagna in the fridge, if you want to heat that up.”
Eli nodded his head. “I’ll walk you out.”
She said goodbye to Dylan and Jake as Eli followed her to the foyer. When she turned around, she had the look of a very sneaky woman.
“Cooking class, huh?” Eli raised a skeptical eyebrow.
She looked everywhere but at Eli. “Mhmm…cooking class.”
“Yeah, you’re cookin’ up something, alright.” He laughed as her cheeks flushed, but the laughter died down when she took his face between her small hands.
“You’re good for them.” She paused then added, “You’re good for him.”
Eli smiled. “He’s a cool kid. I like hanging out with him. It’ll be fun.”
Nina patted his left cheek then dropped her hands. “I wasn’t talking about Dylan.” She gave him a wink before opening the door and leaving.
“Huh,” Eli said to himself with a laugh then turned back toward the kitchen. Jake was standing in the doorway with a strange look in his eyes. Had he heard that whole thing? “What’s up?” he asked, feeling awkward all of a sudden.
Jake stared for another second, his mouth curving up on one side. “Want some lasagna?”
Eli tried to act cool, even though he knew Jake asking him to stay again was a very different dynamic for them. He’d spent months asking Jake to stay, even just once, and the guy never did. But Eli found he didn’t want to be spiteful. He wanted to take what he could get right now and hope things were changing because it sure as hell felt like they were. “Yeah, I’ll have some lasagna, but then after that, I want pie.” He smirked as he walked closer to Jake until he stood in front of him.
“I could go for some dessert.” Jake’s eyes scanned down Eli’s body and back up…and damned if it didn’t feel like Jake was actually touching him. His cock sure as hell felt it as it lengthened in his jeans.
“Don’t look at me like that,” Eli warned and adjusted himself.
“Like what?” The damn man grinned.
“Like I’m dessert,” Eli replied in a hushed tone, remembering Dylan was in the kitchen. He stepped closer. “Like you can have your cake and eat it too.”
Jake reached out and tugged on the bottom of Eli’s T-shirt. “I think you mean, like I can have my pie and Eli too.”
Eli couldn’t help but laugh as Jake waggled his eyebrows at him then turned and went back into the kitchen.
When he heard movement upstairs, Eli glanced up and saw Nick standing on the top landing. “We’re gonna have some dinner and apple pie. Wanna join us?” Nick looked down at his feet, like he wanted to say yes, but something was stopping him. The last thing Eli should do was pressure him. “We’re having lasagna, if you’re hungry.” He smiled at the boy before going into the kitchen.
A few minutes later, Jake was pulling a plate of lasagna out of the microwave for Dylan while Eli got some glasses down and took out the iced tea. When Eli turned around, he saw Nick standing in the doorway, looking a little hesitant. When Jake finally looked up, he froze.
Eli walked over to the cabinet and got out another glass and plate. He set them down on the counter and pointed to one of the plates that was already heated. “You can have that one,” he told Nick. It took Jake a minute to catch up, but he went about heating the food like nothing was out of the ordinary. Nick slowly walked over to the counter and took a plate then sat down at the kitchen table with Dylan.
Jake glanced at Eli with wide eyes, and they both released a sigh of relief, like they’d been holding their breath, waiting for Nick to run back upstairs. Quietly, Jake whispered to Eli, “Baby steps.”
After dinner, Nick had gone back upstairs, and even though they joked about baby steps, the step he took tonight was huge. Maybe that was rubbing off on his uncle because Jake asking Eli if he wanted to watch a movie with them felt like a huge step too.
As the credits came on, Eli felt a sort of disappointment. He didn’t want to go home yet. He looked to his left, over Dylan’s head, and found Jake looking at him. The room was dark except for the TV flickering. Jake glanced down at Dylan and back up, making Eli look down too. Dylan was fast asleep between them on the couch. When he met Jake’s eyes again he was overwhelmed with a feeling of want, but it was a new kind of desire.
Is this what it would feel like? To have this every night and be a part of their lives like this? Making dinner, having popcorn and movie nights? He shouldn’t want that so badly, but he did…which was definitely his cue to head on home.
“I should get going. You’ve gotta get this guy up to bed.” Eli stood up and walked to the front door, feeling Jake right behind him. He opened the door and had just stepped out when Jake linked a finger with his. Eli stopped, looking down at their connection, before slowly being drawn in to Jake’s eyes.
“Thank you.”
“For what?” Eli sucked in a breath as Jake took a step closer.
“Being here. Helping me out.”
“It’s no prob—”
Jake placed a hand gently over Eli’s mouth. “I know I don’t deserve it, but I’m glad you’re here.” He took another small step closer, tilted Eli’s chin up, and kissed him gently. Damned if he didn’t feel that all the way to his feet. The kiss was over as soon as it began, making Eli crave more, but Jake took a step back this time. “I’ll see you tomorrow.” He smiled slightly, let go of Eli’s finger, and waved a hand goodbye before he slowly closed the door.