The day before the hearing was a tense one. Everyone walked on eggshells in the shop. Avery got confirmation that Jake’s parents planned on being there even though Avery still assured them that it was a waste of everyone’s time. Knowing the boys wouldn’t be able to concentrate anyway, Jake informed both schools that they would be absent and why.
Eli stood in the doorway of Jake’s station, not surprised in the least to find him staring off into space. Jake had been like that all day and even cancelled a client for fear he wouldn’t be able to focus and would fuck up.
“Hey.” Eli walked into the room, and Jake looked up at him and gave him a half-hearted smile. Immediately, Eli crossed the room and wrapped his arms around the brooding man. “You have to stop doing this to yourself. You’re gonna make yourself sick before tomorrow even comes.”
Jake kissed the side of Eli’s neck then let him go and began to pace the small room. “I know, but I just can’t stop thinking about it. Losing those kids would be like…” he scrubbed a hand over his face, “losing my brother all over again.”
“I think we need to do something to take our minds off it tonight after you and Nick get back from therapy. Order some pizza, make some popcorn, watch a movie,” Eli suggested.
“Yeah, that sounds good.”
“Do you want me to ask the others?”
Jake walked over to Eli and took him back in his arms, leaning their foreheads together. “No, I want it to just be the four of us tonight. That okay?”
“Of course, it’s okay.” If he had it his way, it would be just the four of them most of the time. Getting ready in the mornings, homework, bargaining to stay up an extra fifteen minutes on a school night, these were the simple things he looked forward to now. But they’d just gotten to the point where Jake was finally admitting he wanted more. There was no way Eli was going to rush him into promising forever.
“I want you to stay tonight too.”
Eli chuckled. “I’ve stayed every night since Halloween. I think that can be arranged.”
Jake drew back and met Eli’s eyes. “You have, haven’t you? It seems so natural for you to be there.”
Eli’s pulse kicked up every time Jake said something like that.
“Ugh,” Ryder grumbled, “you guys need a room.”
“This is my room, dumbass.” Jake let go of Eli but didn’t put any space between them.
Ryder waved his hand. “You know what I mean. This domesticated bliss shit is grossing me out.” He smirked, letting them both know he wasn’t serious. “It’s almost time to close up.”
Jake lit up his phone to see the time. “Shit, I didn’t even realize how late it was.”
“That’s because you’re in a fog, boss-man,” Ryder teased. His face softened as he pushed his glasses up higher on his nose. “Why don’t you guys get outta here? I can close up.”
“You sure, man?’
“Positive.” Ryder smiled and headed in the direction of the front of the shop.
Jake turned to Eli. “You all set to leave?”
“Yeah, I’ll walk out with you, but I have to stop at my place first and get something to wear tomorrow.” Eli followed Jake to the door, bumping into him when Jake stopped suddenly. Jake turned around, took Eli’s face in his hands—and kissed the ever-loving shit out of him.
When he let go, Eli put a hand on the wall to steady himself. “Jesus. What was that for? Not that I’m complaining.”
Jake’s mouth curved up on the left side and he shrugged his shoulders, gave Eli one more peck, and then left the room.
Eli grinned from ear-to-ear. “I’m not complaining at all,” he said to himself before he followed Jake.
It felt like it took hours for Eli to finally get there, even though it was no longer than thirty minutes. When Eli stepped into the family room, and made eye contact with Jake, some of the tension in the room melted away.
Eli had his clothes for the next day on a hanger and an overnight bag in his hand. As soon as Dylan saw him, he popped up off the floor and ran over to him. “Are you staying again?”
A moment of doubt crossed Eli’s face. Jake knew he was struggling with how forthcoming they should be with the boys. “Yeah, he is,” Jake answered for him just as the doorbell rang. “That’s the pizza. Dylan, can you help him bring his bag upstairs, and I’ll get that?”
Dylan nodded his head enthusiastically and took the bag from Eli, bounding up the stairs in front of him. By the time they came back downstairs, Eli had a look on his face that Jake couldn’t quite read.
“You okay?” Jake asked, studying him.
“What? Oh, yeah. I’m good,” Eli responded though he still seemed to be figuring something out.
“You’re sure?”
He approached Jake and stared at him for a second. “Positive.” He took one of the pizza boxes and turning for the kitchen.
“Okay.” He still wasn’t convinced, but he let it go. “Boys, come eat,” Jake yelled toward the family room. By the time he’d turned toward the kitchen, both boys were zipping past him to the table. He learned several weeks ago that they had particular seats they sat in at the table, leaving Jake and Eli to sit across from each other.
Jake looked around the table. He laughed when Dylan took a bite, and the cheese stretched into a long string from the end of the slice to his mouth. He listened when Nick told Eli about the test he had in school and asked him if he could help him with a project. He felt a huge smile spread on his face as he watched how easily the boys interacted with Eli. And when Eli gazed at him across the table, and a gorgeous smile spread across his face, damned if he didn’t feel proud that Eli chose him. He couldn’t help but feel like they were a real family. He’d dare anyone to look at them, in that moment, and say they weren’t. I’m going to keep this, Kevin.
They finished dinner, made some popcorn, and watched a movie together on the couch. The boys were like bookends on either side of Jake and Eli. Nick was leaning against Jake’s side, and Dylan was curled up to Eli. They didn’t talk about the hearing, and it was probably for the best.
When it was time for the boys to turn in, Jake and Eli decided to call it an early night too. The hearing was at nine the next morning, but Avery was coming to the house first at eight. Jake and Eli seemed to get ready for bed in slow motion, as if that would delay whatever was going to happen the next day. It was a chilly night for the beginning of November, and they each put on some sleep pants and T-shirts. Jake went to Nick’s room first to say goodnight then made his way over to Dylan’s.
By the time he got to the guest room, Eli was in bed, reading something on his iPad. Jake stopped in the doorway and just watched him. A feeling of normalcy came over him again. This was what he could potentially have from now on. This is my life now.
Eli looked up from his iPad and chuckled. “What?”
“Nothing,” Jake answered and padded across the room, lifted up the covers, and got in next to Eli. He stared at the ceiling, making a mental note of things he wanted to ask Avery the next morning, when there was a soft knock on the door.
Jake glanced at Eli before saying, “Come in.”
The door slowly opened, and Dylan peeked his blond head in. “Uncle J?”
“What’s up?” Jake sat up a little more as Dylan walked into the room, partially closing the door behind him, and slowly approached the bed.
“Can I sleep in here tonight?” Dylan asked in a small voice.
Jake looked at the bed in between him and Eli. They barely fit on the mattress to begin with, never mind adding a third person.
Eli pushed the blanket back. “I can sleep in Dylan’s bed, and he can sleep in here.”
Jake grabbed Eli’s arm. Would it be too stupid to admit I need him here? “Are you sure? You don’t have to—” Jake looked up at the door when there was another knock.
“Come on in, Nick.” Within seconds Nick was standing next to his brother in the middle of the small guest room. Nick didn’t say anything, just gave an uneasy look to Jake, as if he wanted to ask for something but didn’t know how. “Let me guess…you want to sleep in here too?”
Nick’s face flushed, but he nodded his head.
“Do you guys have sleeping bags?” Both boys nodded again like a couple of bobbleheads. “Okay, go get them, and set them up in here.” As soon as they ran out of the room, Jake turned to Eli. “No sleeping bag for you. You’re staying up here.”
Eli chuckled. “No argument from me.”
Within minutes, the boys were back with their sleeping bags and pillows. They spread their bags out on the floor and crawled inside. Eli shut his iPad off and set it on the table beside him.
“Everybody ready for me to shut the light off?” Hearing them all say yes, Jake reached over and shut off the lamp on the nightstand. The room was shrouded in darkness, and it left even more room for Jake’s thoughts to take over. Did he set his alarm? Were the boys’ clothes ready? Would Ryder and Kenz be okay at the shop by themselves? What if…what…
“What the hell is that smell?” Jake yanked the sheet up and covered his nose.
Giggling erupted from the floor next to Jake. Then muffled laughter started a little further away and got louder as Nick yelled, “Dylan farted,” and then his laughter was muffled again. It sounded as if he was burrowing in his sleeping bag, most likely to hide from the noxious smell.
“Oh God, kid!” Jake waved a hand in front of his face and looked at Eli. All he saw was a mound of covers under which Eli heaved with laughter. “Oh no! If I have to smell this, so do you!” He yanked the covers off Eli’s face, and Eli immediately covered his nose.
Dylan’s laughter got even louder as he shouted in between gasps, “It…wasn’t me! It was…Fart-Man!”
Eli and Jake burst out laughing while Nick was still laughing from inside his sleeping bag.
“Don’t breathe it in!” Eli yelled and yanked the covers back over his and Jake’s heads. Jake reached a hand out and felt for his phone on the nightstand. He grabbed it and lit the screen up under the blanket so he could see Eli.
As Jake’s laughter began to fade, he looked at Eli and watched as Eli’s laughter tapered off into a contented smile. “I want more nights like this,” Jake whispered.
Eli nodded his head and kissed Jake softly. “You’ll have them.”
Things were beyond tense as they stood in the hall outside of the courtroom. Jake paced back and forth, with his hands clasped behind his head. Jesus, he had to be sweating through his damn shirt. “What’s taking them so long?”
Eli stood in front of Jake to stop his movement. “It’s only been a few minutes.” He placed a hand on Jake’s face, calming him in a way only Eli could. Jake dropped his arms to his sides and took a few deep breaths. He leaned down, gave Eli a quick kiss, and heard a huff from the other side of the hall.
“Do you mind? Not everyone wants to see that. It’s bad enough we have to wait out here.” Evelyn’s voice exuded disgust and condemnation.
“And whose fault is that?” Jake snapped. “Had you kept your mouth shut for more than two seconds, maybe the judge wouldn’t have told us to leave the goddamn room!”
“Don’t talk to your mother that way,” Arthur warned.
“I don’t have a mother,” Jake shot back and felt Eli tugging on his arm.
Eli pulled Jake down the hall and off to the side. He took Jake’s face in his hands. “Calm. Down. Just breathe.” Jake closed his eyes and took a few deep breaths. Eli brought Jake’s head down slightly until their foreheads came together.
“Say something. Distract me, or I’m gonna lose my fucking mind.” Jake’s voice was raspy and strained as he tried to regain his composure.
“When Dylan brought my bag upstairs yesterday,” Eli softly said, “and we passed by the master bedroom, he pointed to it and said, ‘That’ll be your room with Uncle J when the judge says it’s okay, and you guys can move in.’”
Jake lifted his head up and chuckled quietly. “It already feels like we live there.”
“I didn’t know what to say because we’ve never talked about anything like that. But then it hit me…he said when the judge says, not if the judge says.” Eli ran a thumb over Jake’s cheek. “He already believed things would turn out okay. Both those boys love you, and they’ll have no problem telling that to the judge. And with your parents out here, there is no one in there who will influence what they have to say. It comes down to two amazing boys, who are dealing with an unthinkable tragedy, and are managing to come back from it because of the love you’ve shown them.”
Jake wrapped his arms around Eli’s waist and held him. “I couldn’t do this without you.”
“You absolutely could,” Eli whispered, “but you don’t have to.”
Jake held him tighter, breathed him in, and let his scent surround and calm him. Eli wrapped his arms around Jake’s neck, and they stood that way for a few moments.
The doors to the courtroom opened and Avery came out to the hall. “They’re ready for you to come back in.” The broad smile on Avery’s face spoke volumes. Jake exhaled in relief, seeing the confirmation in Avery’s eyes. Let’s make this official.
Twenty minutes later, Avery, Jake, Eli, Dylan, and Nick left the courtroom and made it about two feet before they erupted in laughter and victorious words of congratulations. Jake hugged each of the boys so tight they complained…but hugged him back just as tightly.
“I hope you’re happy,” Arthur criticized.
“Were the shouts of joy not obvious?” Jake asked, his voice dripping with sarcasm.
“Let’s go, Arthur.” Evelyn hooked her arm through his then glared at Jake. “Don’t come crawling to us when you can’t handle this. You’re on your own.”
“No, he’s not.” Eli grasped Jake’s hand.
Jake looked down as Dylan grabbed his other hand. Nick moved in closer to his brother and Avery stood next to Eli. “Remember this moment because as far as I’m concerned, this is the last time we’ll have to see you. Unless the boys decide otherwise, I don’t want you anywhere near them.” Dylan squeezed Jake’s hand and gripped his arm with the other. That was validation enough for Jake that they would never have to deal with these people again.
Arthur and Evelyn pushed past Avery, and they all watched as they went through the doors and out of their lives for good. Jake breathed a sigh of relief. They’re safe with me, Kev.
Eli had texted Nina and Stan with the good news, so they could get everything ready. Ryder, Kenz, and Parker were at the house helping to set up. Eli stalled by asking Jake if they could stop at his place for a change of clothes on the way home. It only added an extra fifteen minutes, but that was all they needed.
When they pulled up to the house, everything looked normal and quiet. Eli and Avery let Jake, Nick, and Dylan take the lead, and as Jake opened the door, shouts of congratulations rang out. Immediately, they were pulled into hugs and were handed glasses of champagne and sparkling cider.
“I knew everything would work out,” Nina gushed after giving Dylan and Nick big hugs. “It’s exactly how Kevin and Maggie would’ve wanted it.”
A hush fell over the group as Nina’s words reminded them of how they had all truly arrived at this moment. Jake raised his glass. “This is a bittersweet day. We all miss Kevin and Maggie so much. There are little things every single day that remind me of them.” Dylan and Nick each wrapped an arm around their uncle’s waist when Jake’s voice cracked. He cleared his throat. “Finally, the boys and I can breathe and sleep easy for the first time in almost two months. I know I’ll make mistakes along the way. Parenting is new to me and will most likely be a lot of trial and error. But I’m going to do whatever I can to do right by Dylan and Nick and to make my big brother proud. He never gave up on me,” he paused, and with tears in his eyes, looked down at his nephews, “and I will never give up on you.”
Everyone raised their glasses and toasted to the memory of Kevin and Maggie. Nina ushered everyone into the kitchen where there was a cake with the word Family written in script on the top. One by one, plates with cake were served, and the group trickled into the family room.
Eli sat next to Jake on the couch; the rest of the adults sat around the room. Dylan and Nick sat on the floor and leaned on the coffee table as they ate their cake. A familiar ringing sound alerted Eli to an incoming FaceTime call. Before he even had a chance to say hello, his mom blurted, “Well? Is it good news?”
Eli beamed as his mom and dad sat together with hope in their eyes. “Yeah, really good news.”
The sound of their cheers made everyone laugh, but when he looked over at Jake, the guy looked completely nervous. That’s gotta stop. Eli leaned toward him and angled the phone, so they were both in the frame.
“Oh, Jake, we’re so happy for you! Those boys are lucky to have you,” Eli’s mom praised, and the look on Jake’s face was a mixture of shock and uncertainty. Eli knew where those emotions were coming from now because Jake had explained why he’d pulled away from Eli all those months ago. He really doesn’t think he’s good enough for me.
Eli elbowed Jake and snapped him out of it. “Thank you, Mrs. Taylor.”
“Please, call us Abby and Will.”
Eli’s dad waived to the camera. “Hey, guys.”
“Are those handsome boys nearby?” Eli’s mom asked. “We can’t wait to meet them.”
“Boys, come here for a second,” Jake said. They hurried over and squished in the frame with them. “Say hello to Eli’s mom and dad.” The kids waived at the screen.
“So nice to see the faces that go with the names. Eli’s told us so much about you.” His mom beamed, and Eli could feel Jake looking at him. Then she whispered loudly, “Mostly good things.” The kids laughed when she gave a wink. “Okay, we don’t want to keep you any longer. We just wanted to say that you are a remarkable man, Jake. We can’t wait to see you again; and, Dylan and Nick, we can’t wait to meet you both in person.” She looked at Eli. “Love you, honey,” she told him as his dad said, “Take care, guys.”
“Love you guys too,” Eli replied and ended the call.
“Your parents are cool, Eli.” Nick smiled, and both he and Dylan went back to their cake.
“Yeah, they are,” Jake agreed as he glanced at Eli. A small smile graced his face, and Eli returned it. If they were going to make this work, Jake had to get used to Eli’s family. What Jake didn’t realize was they were so much like Jake and the boys. They laughed with each other and teased each other; they worked hard for the things they had; above all, they loved everyone in their family something fierce.
After about an hour, Kenz, Parker, and Ryder got up and said their goodbyes. Nina and Stan headed back home, but first, of course, Nina made sure they were stocked with food and had dinner for the night.
The last person to leave was Avery, and both Jake and Eli walked him to the door. Jake shook his hand. “Thank you. For everything.”
“I was happy to help.” Avery’s gaze shifted to the boys somberly.
Jake must have seen the despondent look in Avery’s eyes. “Listen, the boys miss their Uncle Avery. Don’t be a stranger, okay?”
Eli shook his hand next. “You don’t want us to have to sic Nina on you.”
Avery held his hands up in front of him. “Got it. No need to threaten.” He chuckled and opened the door but turned back around. “I’d love to come around more. I…miss him, you know?”
“Yeah, I know.”
Avery looked down at his feet and put his hands in his pockets. “Yeah,” he responded soberly. When he lifted his head, he had a sly smirk on his face. “Do me a favor?”
“Sure,” Jake responded.
“Ask the boys what they told the judge.” Avery waved at them then walked out the door, but Eli didn’t miss the sneaky smile broaden.
Jake gave Eli a look. “That was weird.”
They all went upstairs to change and met back in the family room to watch a movie. Jake sat at the end of the couch with his feet on the ottoman in front of him. Eli planned on giving him some room on the couch, but when he sat down, Jake pulled him closer until Eli ended up leaning against him with his hand on Jake’s thigh. The boys both set up pillows on the floor.
Jake held the remote up and pressed play, but then stopped the movie almost right away. “Hey guys,” Jake said. They both sat up and looked at him. “What did you tell the judge?”
Dylan and Nick turned around and sat crisscross on the floor.
Nick shrugged. “We just told her how we don’t think Grandma and Grandpa love us. Not really, anyway. They’re just sad because Dad died.”
“Yeah, and how Mom and Dad didn’t want us to be around them ‘cause they were always mean to you and saying mean things about other people,” Dylan added.
“Like…how are they gonna raise us when they wouldn’t even raise you, ya know?” Nick phrased the question like the answer was completely obvious. Damned if Eli hadn’t asked himself that question many times. What kind of parents could do that to their child?
Dylan shifted onto his knees. “Yeah, we told her how you and Eli play Xbox with us and watch movies with us. And sometimes you get mad, but not ‘cause you don’t love us.” Eli glanced at Jake and saw the love in his eyes for those kids.
Nick nodded his head in agreement with his brother. “And how Grandma and Grandpa think it’s wrong for you and Eli to love each other.” Eli heard Jake suck in a breath. His heart began racing, and he sat up, giving Jake some room. “But Mom and Dad told us you can love anyone you want to.”
Dylan added, “And we’re happy you love Eli ‘cause we love him too.” It was Eli’s turn to be caught off-guard.
They both shrugged their shoulders. Dylan popped around toward the TV and lay back down. “That’s it, I think.” Nick turned and settled in next to his brother, waiting for Jake to start the movie.
Eli wasn’t quite sure what the right move was. Obviously, he needed to pretend like all that wasn’t just said, or Jake would most likely freak out. Should he leave and give Jake some space? Stay until the end of the movie?
We’re happy you love Eli.
We love him too.
“What are you doing all the way over there?” They stared at each other for an intense few seconds before Jake reached out, grabbed Eli’s arm, and pulled him back over, right next to him. He wrapped an arm around him, kissed his temple, and started the movie.
Eli was left dumbfounded.
As they got ready for bed later that night, Jake was eerily quiet and it was making Eli uneasy. He’d planned on going home, but as they walked out of the family room, Jake clasped his hand and led him upstairs. Now, he was lying in bed, waiting for Jake to finish in the bathroom, and wondering what the hell was going through Jake’s mind.
Jake came back in the room and didn’t say a word as he climbed into bed alongside Eli. He reached over and shut the lamp off as Eli rolled away from him to face the wall. Holy shit, this is awkward. Was Jake really that upset with what the boys told the judge? Should he tell him it was okay? That he knew to take what Dylan and Nick said with a grain of salt? And fucking Avery… The guy totally set them up. Maybe it would be better if—
“They’re right, you know.” The deep timber of Jake’s voice cut through the darkness and made the hairs stand up on the back of Eli’s neck.
“About what?” Eli whispered, his heart pounding.
There was so much silence. Too much silence.
He opened his mouth to tell Jake to just forget it when Jake moved in behind him and draped an arm over Eli’s side. He flattened his hand on Eli’s stomach and pulled him back until their bodies were molded together.
Eli felt Jake’s lips on his ear right before the slightest whisper that sent a chill down his spine. “I do love you.”
Eli sucked in a breath and practically froze. “What?”
Jake kissed Eli’s neck and traced the shell of his ear with his tongue. “You heard me,” he said and bit his earlobe.
Eli rolled over, looking at Jake for any signs of humor or…
Jake didn’t break eye contact and didn’t shy away, but instead, he pulled Eli closer and pressed a kiss to his lips. “I love you.”
Eli swooped in, taking Jake’s mouth in a bruising kiss. When he reluctantly pulled away because, you know…oxygen…he stared at Jake for a few moments. Jake, the man Eli never thought would want all this. Jake, the man he never thought would love him back.
“The longer you leave me hangin’ the more nervous I’m getting over here.” And although Jake’s tone was joking, his eyes were completely serious.
“I love you too.”
“That’s more like it.” Jake pulled Eli down until his head was on his chest. “Can’t have all of it without you.”