Eli held the iPad up to make sure Jake and the boys were on the screen with him as they squished together on the couch. It was the Friday night before Christmas, and he and Jake had taken the weekend off and wouldn’t be returning to the shop until the day after Christmas on Wednesday. “Where are you guys?”
His dad glanced at his mom. “Savannah’s. You know, in her back room—”
“We’ll miss you this year, honey,” Eli’s mom said, cutting his dad off, “but we understand completely.” He knew she genuinely meant it because she always checked in to see how Jake and the boys were holding up.
“I know. I’ll miss you guys too,” he replied. “Maybe next year.” Eli glanced over at Jake, giving him a smile to reassure Jake that he was okay with it. There was no way he was leaving them for Christmas.
“That would be wonderful.” Her eyes shifted to the boys. “There may be a present or two with your names on them. I’ll get them to you soon.” She winked and the boys laughed.
“How do you guys have her wrapped around your little fingers already?” Eli teased, nudging Nick, who was closest to him.
“Um…because we’re awesome,” Nick snarked with twelve-year-old attitude. They all laughed while Eli tapped Nick playfully on the back of his head.
He loved seeing how comfortable the boys were talking to his parents. Even Jake was warming up to them. Eli had Jake and the boys join in on his FaceTime calls with his family all the time now. There was no reason that, just because they were hours away from each other, they couldn’t get to know one another. He wanted that more than he would ever admit to Jake. To have his whole family under one roof someday. “So, what do you have planned this weekend?” Eli watched his parents give each other sneaky looks. They’re up to something.
“Oh, just a little last-minute shopping.” His mom feigned innocence.
Ah. Christmas presents. Probably going overboard, as usual.
Eli’s mom yawned. “I’m sorry. Today was a little hectic. Last minute holiday things and all that. I think we’re going to let you boys go.”
“Yeah, okay. We’ll call you Christmas Eve and Christmas day. I love you guys. Give everyone a hug for me.” Eli cleared his throat, trying to keep his emotions in check. He was going to miss being with them for the holiday, but he also knew he’d make new traditions with Jake and the boys here. When he glanced at Jake, he caught his stare, and immediately Eli smiled, maybe a little too enthusiastically. Jake gave him a small smile in return.
“We’ll talk to you then. Love you too, honey.” Eli’s parents each gave a wave before the call was ended.
Eli put the iPad down and stood up but didn’t make eye contact with Jake. “Well, I think I’m gonna turn in. I need my strength tomorrow since you guys,” he looked at the kids, “promised Nina that we’d help her make pies. All. Day.” He raised an eyebrow at them, and they both shrugged innocently before laughing.
“Yeah, maybe we all should turn in.” Jake stood and walked behind Eli, wrapping an arm over Eli’s shoulder and across his chest. The move was meant to comfort. He hadn’t hid how much he missed his family after all.
They all made their way upstairs, and once Eli and Jake were in bed, Jake pulled Eli back against his chest and wrapped an arm over his waist. “I know this is hard on you.”
Eli quickly rolled to face Jake. “No—”
Jake covered his mouth. “Yeah. It is. I would have given anything to have the parents you have. I can’t be with my brother, but you’re choosing not to be with your family for us.”
Eli brushed Jake’s hand away. “I told you. You guys are my family now.”
“I don’t know what’s more mind-blowing to me. That you think of us that way, or that you think I’m worthy of that kind of love.”
“You are,” Eli whispered and softly kissed Jake.
“Shit, we got all sappy again.” Jake laughed as he brushed his nose against Eli’s. “I might as well tell you I love you then.”
“You are so damn romantic.”
Jake sighed dramatically and rolled his eyes. “I know. It’s kinda my thing now.”
Eli barked out a laugh, rolling on top of Jake. He took his mouth in a deep kiss and whispered, “I love you too.”
Bright and freaking early the next morning…too damn early for a Saturday off…they were all downstairs making breakfast before Eli and the boys had to head over to Nina’s for the pie-baking marathon. “Next time you want to volunteer me for something, can you not make it at the butt crack of dawn?”
The boys snickered, Dylan pointing at Eli. “You said butt crack.”
“Technically, eight-thirty is not the butt crack of dawn,” Jake clarified. Eli looked over at Jake who was laughing as he took a huge bite of his bacon and egg sandwich. With a full mouth, Jake mumbled, “What?” in response to Eli’s glare.
“How did you get out of this?”
Jake swallowed his food. “Have you met me?” He wiggled his eyebrows. “Besides, I haven’t wrapped anything yet. I need you all out.”
Eli huffed. “You owe me so big.”
“Yeah, I do,” Jake agreed in a moment of sincerity. Then a wicked smile spread across his gorgeous face and Eli knew exactly where Jake’s mind had gone. Eli snorted and looked away before the boys caught on. “You guys better get going. You don’t want to make Nina wait.”
Oh, he so owes me for this.
The three of them grabbed their coats and made the short walk next door. As soon as Nina opened the door with a huge, loving smile on her face, all grumpiness slid away. How could anyone be cranky around a woman filled with so much kindness? She ushered them inside, with a hug for each of them. The house already smelled like Christmas, with the scent of pine coming from the living room and cinnamon, spices, and warm apples filling the air from the kitchen.
Immediately, they got to work. Nina had made three pies before Eli and the boys had even gotten over there. “How many pies do we need?” Eli asked jokingly, looking in awe at the six finished pies on the table.
“You can never have too many at Christmas.” Nina took the next pie out of the oven and smiled warmly. “We can even freeze some in our garage freezer. Don’t worry,” she added. “They’ll get eaten.” Nina winked at the boys. No doubt, those two could each finish a pie on their own.
Eli’s phone went off in his pocket. He looked at the screen to see a text from Jake. Need help wrapping one of the bigger presents for the boys.
Eli snickered as he pictured a huge box covered in patchwork wrapping paper and a pissed-off Jake cursing at it. Be right there.
He shoved his phone in his back pocket. “I have to go help your Uncle J with something. I’ll be right back.”
“’K,” they both responded without looking up from their tasks.
Eli headed to the door, grabbing his jacket off the chair as he went. As he crossed the yard, he heard loud Christmas music coming from their house. There’s No Place like Home for the Holidays? He didn’t take Jake for a Christmas music kind of guy. He walked up the steps, his hand almost on the doorknob, when the door suddenly opened.
“Mom?” Eli froze, his brain frantically trying to catch up to what his eyes were seeing.
“Well, don’t just stand there.” She took his hand and pulled him inside—and immediately Eli was surrounded by his family.
“Dad? Zach?” Eli looked around him and every single member of his family was standing in their foyer. He turned when a hand landed on his shoulder. “Jonah.” His voice cracked as he pulled his brother into a hug. “This is amazing. Thank you.”
“It was Jake’s idea,” Jonah whispered and pulled back to look Eli in the eyes. Jonah smirked and slightly nodded his head as Eli stared at him in disbelief.
He searched Jake out and found him standing by the stairs with Dylan and Nick by his side. Jake had a look of vulnerability on his face, and in that moment, Eli couldn’t have loved him more. Eli crossed the foyer and wrapped his arms around Jake’s neck. The boys joined in, one on each side, as the four of them hugged. “I can’t believe you did this for me.”
“Then I’m doing something wrong,” Jake whispered in his ear. “I don’t do things like this for you often enough.”
Eli leaned back and took Jake’s face in his hands. “Do you even know how happy I am here with you guys?”
“We know you love us,” Nick said.
“But we could tell you were a little sad that you weren’t going home for Christmas,” Dylan added.
“I am home,” Eli clarified. “But you have no idea what this means to me.” He heard sniffling coming from his right and turned to see Nina and his mom watching them, both in tears.
“It’s just so sweet.” Nina grabbed Eli’s mom’s hand like they’d been friends forever.
“I know. Look at them,” his mom added and dabbed at her eyes with a tissue.
Zach walked over and wrapped an arm around their mom’s shoulders. “So precious.” He wiped away fake tears. “This moment could only be made better,” he sniffled and put a hand to his heart, “with eggnog.”
She wacked Zach on his stomach with the back of her hand. “Santa’s still watching. You’re getting coal, brat.”
Zach shrugged. “As long as it’s enough to fill a grill, I’m good with that.”
She rolled her eyes as everyone else laughed. The family spread out, making themselves at home in Jake and Eli’s house. It was still a little weird to think of this house as his, but they were all still adjusting.
“I’m stealing these handsome men for a bit.” Eli’s mom took each of the boys’ hands. “Nina said you have a few more pies next door. Why don’t we go help her?”
“Thanks, Mom.” Eli leaned in and gave her a kiss on the cheek.
“Anything for pie…uh, I mean for you. Anything for you, honey.” Nick and Dylan snickered as she pulled them toward the front door.
“Nice,” Eli said shaking his head. He glanced into the family room seeing more decorations than had been there this morning, tables set up with food, and presents under the Christmas tree, including the ones Eli and Jake and gotten for his family. “How long have you been planning this?”
“Since Thanksgiving,” Jake replied. “They all got here last night around eight. Half are in your condo and half are in mine.”
“So your random trip to the store for Cheetos…?”
Jake laughed. “I was letting them in and getting them set up. We figured your parents or Savannah, Tom, and their kids can stay in our guest bedroom tonight. They all leave tomorrow. I’m sorry you won’t see them on Christm—”
Eli pulled Jake’s face down and kissed him. After all he’d planned, Jake still felt like it wasn’t enough? When they broke apart, Jake leaned his forehead on Eli’s, wrapping his arms around his waist. “Thank you,” Eli whispered. “This is perfect.”
“Are you two done with the lovey-dovey stuff over there?” Zach called out. “There’s a plate of ziti calling my name.”
“Moron…Moron…” Dakotah said in a faint voice.
Jocelynn, Dakotah’s girlfriend, gasped. “I hear it!”
“Ha ha.” Zach rolled his eyes then turned to their dad. “Seriously, I don’t know why you and Mom didn’t stop after me.”
With each hour that went by, and every embarrassing, funny story told, Eli could see Jake feeling more comfortable. Eli stood in the opening between the family room and the foyer and watched him. Jake sat on the floor with the boys in front of the coffee table, opening a huge Lego set Jonah and Cameron had gotten the boys. Each member of his family bought Nick and Dylan a present. Just as Eli knew they would, they all welcomed Jake, Nick, and Dylan into the family without a second thought.
“He’ll get used to it,” a soft voice spoke behind Eli. He turned to find Cameron with a shy smile on his face. “Not gonna lie, the Taylors can be a little overwhelming,” he chuckled, “but…you all make it impossible to feel like an outsider.” Cameron looked at Jonah, his eyes softening. “I’d never known this much love before I met Jonah and the rest of you.” He must have realized what he’d just said and blushed, glancing quickly at Eli. Clearing his throat, he added, “He probably doesn’t even realize that he’s already a part of this family. Took me a while to understand, but I finally get it. He will too.” A small smile curved his mouth, and Eli nodded and smiled in response. He watched Cameron make his way across the room, weaving around family members, until he reached Jonah and sat down on the floor between his legs.
Eli’s gaze shifted to Jake and they locked eyes. The intensity of the way Jake looked at him now, the love in his eyes that Eli never thought he’d see, made his heart stutter in his chest. This moment, with his entire family surrounding him, was exactly what he’d wanted for Christmas.
“It’s seven o’clock!” Dylan yelled through the bedroom door. “Is that late enough?”
“Yeah, we gave you another hour! Come on already!” Nick yelled, knocking on the door.
“Oh sure, but for school, seven is way too early,” Jake grumbled.
Eli turned his face into Jake’s neck and laughed, his warm breath sending a chill down Jake’s spine. “We better get up.”
Jake yawned. “Yeah, yeah,” he muttered. “We’re getting up!”
“Finally!” the boys yelled in unison.
“At least they sound happier this morning.” Eli exhaled and rolled back so his head was on his pillow as uneasiness creased his brow. “I felt so helpless last night. They were so upset.”
Jake kissed Eli’s forehead then threw the covers off them both. “I know, but I think we did the right thing going to the cemetery yesterday. I’m not sure it’ll ever get easier to bring them there. It’s not the most comfortable place to be for anyone, never mind two kids. Now, we can have a quiet Christmas at home, just the four of us.” Jake stood up and stretched then grabbed a pair of track pants and a sweatshirt off the hook on the door. When he turned around he saw Eli, staring off into space, with a worried look in his yes. “Hey, what’s wrong?”
Eli swung his legs off the bed as he sat up. He gripped the nape of his neck and released a heavy sigh. “I, uh…I got you all a present, but after yesterday, I’m not sure it was the best idea.”
Jake sat next to Eli on the bed. “We’ll love anything you got us.”
“Maybe it should wait. It’s not here anyway. I’ll show you guys in a few months or…” his voice softened, “never.”
“Where is it? I’m guessing it has something to do with Kevin and Maggie?”
Eli sighed. “On the boardwalk. Look, let’s just forget it. It’s not important. I have plenty of other things to give you guys.” He stood up and got dressed in pajama pants and a sweatshirt then opened their door. “Come on. The boys are waiting.”
“Eli…” What the hell could he have gotten that could be so bad?
“I’ll get the coffee going.” He left the room effectively ending the conversation.
“Okay,” Jake said to himself. “That was weird.” He made his way downstairs and found the boys sitting on the floor in front of the tree, inspecting the presents.
As promised, the aroma of coffee filled the air. Jake took a seat on the couch as they waited for Eli. Slowly, Eli walked into the room, carrying a tray with four mugs on it. He set it down on the coffee table then handed one to Jake. “Coffee.” Then he turned his head. “Boys, I made you hot chocolate.”
“With marshmallows?” Dylan asked.
“Pfft,” Eli looked at Dylan like he was crazy. “Of course. You can’t have hot chocolate without marshmallows.”
Nick picked up a present. “Can we start, Uncle J?”
“Yeah. Do you want to start handing them out?”
Nick thought for a moment. “Well, Mom and Dad used to make sure we all had one first.”
“Then we’d open them together,” Dylan added.
“It’s like a…tradition.” Nick looked down at the present in his hands and shrugged.
“Then we’ll keep with tradition,” Jake assured them. “Everyone gets a present to start with.” His nephews smiled and crawled over to the tree. Nick handed one to Eli while Dylan found one for Jake. Then they each found one of their own. “Everybody ready?” When Jake got nods from everyone, he yelled, “Go!”
Wrapping paper flew as they tore into their presents. Jake and Eli both watched as Dylan pulled the T-shirt out of the box. He held it up to look at it and cracked up. “This is so cool!” Jake had drawn the kid Fart-Man, complete with mask and cape blowing in the, well, wind.
“That’s an around-the-house-weekend shirt,” Jake clarified. “You can’t wear that to school, deal?”
Dylan shot up off the floor and tackle-hugged Jake on the couch. “Deal!” Then he pulled back and tackled Eli.
It didn’t take them long to plow through the pile of presents. Nick and Dylan just about busted their eardrums when they opened the boogie boards Jake and Eli had gotten them. They were better quality than the cheap ones Jake had taught them to use over the summer.
Jake had gotten Eli the tattoo machine he’d been eyeing for months, and when Eli thanked him, he leaned in, whispering, “I’ll properly thank you later.”
Hell, yeah.
“Okay, breakfast first then stockings.” Eli stood up and stretched his arms over his head. “I’ll get everything ready.”
Shit. He’s really not gonna give us the present he’d gotten?
As soon as Eli was in the kitchen, Jake called the boys over to him in a hushed voice. “Okay,” he leaned back on the couch, looking to make sure Eli was still in the kitchen, “Eli got us another gift, but he’s worried to give it to us.”
Dylan looked confused. “Why?”
“He won’t tell me what it is, but I think it has to do with…” Jake’s voice trailed off as he looked at both Nick and Dylan. They were in a much better place today than they were last night, but was it too soon?
“Mom and Dad?” Nick finished for him.
Jake nodded. “Yeah, I think so. Are you up for that? You can say no.”
Both boys looked at each other and Dylan shrugged his shoulders. Nick spoke up first. “Yesterday was really hard, but today, I don’t know…” Nick looked back at his brother, like he was searching for a way to say what he was feeling.
“Today what?” When neither boy answered, Jake said, “Today’s been a pretty good day so far.” Nick and Dylan both nodded their heads. “We’re allowed to have those. Your parents would want us to be happy, especially on Christmas.”
Nick thought for a minute, then hesitantly continued, “It’s been a really good day. Maybe whatever Eli got us will make it feel like Mom and Dad are a part of it.”
“When did you get to be so smart?” Jake teased, but the relief he felt at hearing Nick’s mature words was immense. “So, you’re good? We’d have to leave the house, but I say we just throw our winter coats over our PJs, yeah?”
Dylan and Nick readily agreed and raced each other to the front door. Jake followed behind, grabbing his and Eli’s coats before walking into the kitchen. “Hey.” When Eli looked up, Jake tossed him his coat. “Put that on. We’re going for a ride.”
Eli looked at him skeptically. “To where?”
“The boardwalk.”
“Jake…”
Jake walked up to Eli and kissed him. “We’re okay. The boys know it has to do with Kevin and Maggie.” He grabbed Eli’s hand and dragged him toward the door. “Come on. Show us our Christmas present.”
They drove in silence. Halfway there, Jake grabbed Eli’s hand and laced their fingers together. The boardwalk was desolate in winter. They were apparently the only people crazy enough to go there in the cold, and on Christmas day, no less. Jake parked the car and he and the boys followed a nervous Eli past the boarded up snack stand and the booth that sold beach badges.
When Eli stopped and stared out at the water, Jake was worried he’d changed his mind. He went and stood on one side of Eli while the boys stood on his other side. “I just thought,” Eli offered after a moment of silence, “that maybe this could be a place for you to remember all the happy things. A place to go to think about them, I guess. One of your favorite places to be.” He looked over at Jake, his green eyes so vulnerable yet filled with so much love at the same time. Eli turned away from the water, and Jake and the boys followed his gaze.
It took him a second, but Jake saw it about the same time as the boys did. All three of them walked over to the dark green, wooden bench and read the plaque attached to the center of the top board.
“Eli…” Jake stared in awe as he read the gold plaque over and over again.
In Loving Memory of
Kevin and Maggie Novak.
Dylan ran his hand over the metal. “That’s so cool.”
“Every time we use our new boogie boards we can come sit here. Right, Uncle J?” Nick looked up at him, and Jake nodded, swallowing the lump in his throat.
He reached out and pulled Eli against his side, wrapping an arm around his neck while he kissed his temple. “Thank you. This is amazing.”
Eli’s shoulders sagged in relief. “You’re welcome.”
Nick sat on the middle of the bench, and Jake and Eli followed suit on either side of him. There wasn’t enough room for Dylan, so Jake yanked him down on his lap. They sat in silence, looking out at the ocean, taking in the serenity of the location and the new meaning it held.
“Can we maybe go home now?” Dylan’s teeth were chattering. “I’m freezing my butt blaster off.”
Jake and Eli looked at each other before they started laughing. “Yeah, kid. Let’s go home.”
As they stood up, Jake grabbed Eli’s hand, and they all walked to the car. They were going home…to their home…as a family.
It wasn’t the direction they’d ever expected their lives to go in. They were drawn together by loss but somehow, through that loss, they found their new normal.
They’re my home now, Kevin.
I finally have all of it.