Eli aggressively pressed the buttons on the controller, leaning his body to the left and right, as if that would help him play the damn game any better. He was an artist, not a gamer for fuck’s sake.
“Eli, you stink at this, man,” Parker said through his laughter.
“Seriously, you’re getting your butt handed to you,” Ryder added.
“Shh.” Eli tried to concentrate, but it didn’t help any when he died a few seconds later. He tossed the controller down on the couch beside him. “This thing is broken.”
Dylan held his controller out to Eli. “Wanna trade? This one isn’t broken. Ya know, cuz I won five times.” The kid smiled smugly at Eli—and damn it was so good to see.
“Get outta here, brat.” Eli pushed on Dylan’s arm as the kid cracked up along with Parker and Ryder.
Kenz, who was stretched out in the recliner in the corner, looked over the top of her tablet and shook her head at them. “You all act like you’re ten.”
“Hey,” Dylan looked at Kenz matter-of-factly, “at least I am ten.”
Kenz’s eyes softened. “You get a pass, but not these clowns.” She shook her head and rolled her eyes then went back to reading.
“I don’t care if you sit in the goddamn bathroom! You’re not hiding out in your room anymore!” Jake’s deep, angry voice carried down the stairs along with the sound of doors slamming. “Nick, open this damn door!”
Nina came out of the kitchen, wiping her hands on the apron tied around her waist. “What on earth…?” She’d made Sunday dinner for all of them. Of course, Nick ate two bites, asked to be excused, and closed himself off in his room. Eli figured the only reason Jake let him get up from the table was no one really knew what to say to him. It had only been a few days since Nick got in the fight at school, and his attitude had plummeted even more.
Eli stood up and walked into the foyer, looking up the stairs. Jake was banging on Nick’s door, yelling at Nick to open it. One-by-one, their friends got up and made their way to the front door.
“Eli,” Parker said. “We’re gonna just…” He tilted his head toward the door then looked at Nina. “Thanks again for dinner.” The others echoed Parker’s thanks, and they all left.
Nina untied her apron, looking as helpless as Eli felt. “I think Stan and I should head on home too. You’ll stay with Dylan until this blows over?”
“Yeah, I’ll stay.” He had no idea if Jake wanted him to, but he couldn’t leave him like this.
A minute later, Nina and Stan left, and suddenly, Eli was standing in the foyer alone. He could see Dylan on the couch, worry in his eyes, and knew he wasn’t going anywhere until things calmed down.
“Nick!”
The door to Nick’s room swung open, and he ran down the stairs and into the family room. Jake bounded down the stairs after him, his tan skin flushed with anger. “You can’t keep doing this!” Jake shouted. “You won’t tell me what the fight was about. You won’t eat. You won’t talk to any of us. I don’t know what to do anymore!”
“I don’t need you to do anything. Just leave me alone!”
“Jesus Christ, Nick. Why won’t you let me help you?” Jake’s shouts had turned to helpless pleas. “I’m not trying to punish you. Would you just listen to me?”
“No! You’re not my dad! I hate you!” Nick yelled.
Jake sucked in a breath and Nick froze, his eyes wide. The air in the room was suffocating. Dylan sat on the couch and looked back and forth between his brother and his uncle, as if he wasn’t sure which side he should be on. The wounded look on Jake’s face rivaled the shock on Nick’s.
“Go.” Jake’s defeated voice was so low, so full of pain, it almost wasn’t heard.
There was no argument. Nick ran around his uncle and up the stairs, his bedroom door slamming behind him.
“Dylan, buddy, why don’t you go get ready for bed? Maybe watch some YouTube on your iPad,” Eli said. He wasn’t completely comfortable telling Jake’s nephew what to do, but Jake hadn’t moved from the spot he’d been in when Nick had yelled those awful words.
Dylan looked at his uncle, and without a word, he got up and crossed the room. He wrapped his arms around Jake’s waist, pressing a cheek to his stomach. “I love you, Uncle J.”
That seemed to snap Jake out of it, and he hugged Dylan back. “I love you, too, kid.”
Dylan let go, and when he was just about to pass Eli, he stopped and looked up at him. Quickly, he wrapped his arms around Eli, giving him a hug. It surprised Eli, but he hugged the boy back before Dylan went upstairs.
Eli looked back at Jake. Now that they were alone, he had no idea what to do.
There were only a few times in Jake’s life that something truly and thoroughly felt like it would break him. When his parents kicked him out, when Kevin and Maggie died, and when his nephew just told him he hated him.
“Fuck!” he yelled and slammed his fist into the nearest wall. A picture frame fell; the glass shattering and sending shards everywhere. He felt a hand on his back and could feel the heat of Eli’s body behind him.
“I don’t know what the hell to do anymore,” he whispered, his voice cracking. “This isn’t my life. This was never supposed to be my life.”
“I know.”
Jake knew how many times Eli had heard that. How many times Jake had made it clear that he didn’t want anyone for the long-run, including kids…including Eli. He was a damn good liar and a pathetic coward. The kids didn’t need that kind of man in their lives. Eli didn’t deserve that kind of man, either. Then stop being that man.
“I want it though,” he whispered so softly, he wasn’t even sure Eli could hear him.
Eli’s hand curled on the back of Jake’s T-shirt. “What do you want?”
“All of it.” Jake turned around and wasn’t surprised to see confusion in Eli’s eyes. He knew he wasn’t making any sense.
He was pulled into Eli’s arms and felt the grip on the back of his T-shirt tighten. He buried his face in Eli’s neck, holding him tighter than he ever had before. He felt like such an ass…losing his temper, knowing Eli heard the awful words Nick had said, putting a hole in another goddamn wall.
Jake breathed in Eli’s scent, felt his warmth, and gradually, his pulse stopped racing from all his fucking failures. Instead, it felt a little erratic being this close to Eli. He took a chance, placing a soft kiss on Eli’s neck and heard Eli suck in a quick breath, his body tensing.
Shit. There wasn’t a single thing in his life, aside from the shop, that he didn’t fuck up. He’d put this distance between them. It was his fault Eli had pulled away. Jake lifted his head and took a step back. Eli stared at him, breathing heavy…and he looked pissed.
“Eli…”
Eli studied Jake, as if he were looking for signs that Jake was lying. Then the anger on Eli’s face morphed into—he didn’t know what. Disbelief, maybe? Eli stepped hesitantly closer, and they just stared at each other, heat crackling between them, until Eli moved. Hell, maybe it was him. He had no idea who moved first, but as Eli’s mouth touched his, he couldn’t care less. They hadn’t kissed each other like this—like they needed to just to fucking survive—in weeks. He’d missed him so damn much even though he saw him almost every day.
Eli’s hands slid into Jake’s hair as Jake wrapped his arms around Eli’s waist. He didn’t know how much he needed this…needed Eli…until this very moment. It was like all the fucked-up shit in his life didn’t exist.
The toilet flushed upstairs, making them both pull back and look up at the ceiling. Footsteps sounded above them followed by a door closing. Jake looked at Eli, hating what he was about to say. “We can’t do this out here.”
“Yeah, you’re right.” Eli sighed, glancing back up at the ceiling. “What’s above the office?”
Jake furrowed his brows, completely confused. “The guest bedroom. Why?”
Eli grabbed Jake’s hand and led him out of the family room and down the hall.
“What the hell are you doing?” Jake asked in a hushed tone, completely confused when Eli yanked him into the office. As soon as the door was closed, Eli pushed Jake back against it, and the sound of the lock clicking seemed as loud as a gun firing. Oh.
Eli leaned all his weight against Jake, shoving his hands up underneath Jake’s shirt while Jake took ahold of Eli’s face and pulled him forward until their mouths came together. Jake’s hand was killing him, but he didn’t care. He felt the burn of Eli’s scruff as it scratched against his face. Man, he fucking loved that. Eli pushed up Jake’s shirt taking a step back so Jake had room to yank the thing over his head. Eli did the same with his own and then they were back at it. Tongues battling, hands all over the damn place, and both of them about to bust in their fucking jeans.
Eli dragged his hands down Jake’s torso to the waistband of his pants, but when Jake tried to unbutton them, Eli pushed his hands away. “Nope. I call the shots.” Eli released the button and slowly dragged the zipper down.
“Who says?” Jake growled and leaned down, trying to kiss Eli, but Eli pulled his head back.
“I do; unless you want fucking blue balls to go along with your black and blue hand.”
“You’re taking too damn long—fuck...” Jake’s head fell back against the door with a thud as Eli’s hand curled around his cock.
“So impatient.” Eli tugged on Jake’s cock just enough to make him want more but not enough to get him off.
He was about to lose his shit until Eli dropped to his knees. Jake hadn’t felt that hot, wet mouth in too damn long. Eli sucked Jake off like no one else could. He knew just the right pressure, knew what drove Jake absolutely crazy. He flicked his tongue against the sensitive spot right under the head, wrapped his warm hand around the bottom of Jake’s shaft and stroked while he pulled at his balls with the other hand.
Just when Jake was close, Eli pulled his head back, popping Jake’s cock out of his mouth. Jake watched as Eli stood in front of him. “Shit. No. Where are you going?” Jesus, he sounded desperate.
Eli smirked then took Jake’s mouth again. Jake could feel him opening his own jeans and taking his cock out. Eli broke the kiss and stared at Jake with half-lidded eyes. Without taking his eyes off Jake, Eli spit into his right palm then took both their cocks in his hand and starting jerking them together.
“Damn, that feels good,” Jake groaned, leaning his head back against the door.
When Eli came over for dinner, he never would’ve guessed that he’d end up pressing Jake against the office door, sucking and jerking him off. He was pissed at himself, at first. Pissed that he was losing the willpower to stay away from this man. All that talk of wanting it all seemed so out-of-character for Jake. But when Eli really looked at him, looked at how vulnerable and broken Jake was, Eli knew he had to give them one more try. He had to hope he was part of “all of it” that Jake was finally admitting he wanted.
“Oh fuck.” Eli’s voice was raspy as he closed his eyes and gave in to the sensations. Jake kissed him again until his breath faltered and they broke apart. Eli could feel his orgasm building and knew from Jake’s rapid, short breaths that he was close too.
He felt Jake letting go as a sticky warmth covered his hand. Jake’s head fell back against the door while his body twitched. Eli worked Jake through it, using his hot release to finish Jake off and to finally find his own. Jake kissed him, muffling any shouts of pleasure Eli was too far gone to stifle on his own.
They both worked to catch their breath, leaning their foreheads together. Eli was afraid to say anything. This was the part where things usually got awkward—except this was where Jake was staying and the guy’s nephews were right upstairs. Even if Jake didn’t pull away, Eli would have to be the one to do it instead.
He stepped back and watched Jake bend down and pick up his shirt off the floor. Eli did the same, and when he rose back up, Jake was holding his own shirt out for Eli to clean up with. “I’ll toss it in the wash.” The left side of his mouth curved up in a sexy-as-hell smirk as he buttoned and zipped his jeans. Eli was tempted to start up a second round, but they were lucky the kids hadn’t heard them the first time.
Eli pulled his shirt over his head, tucked his cock back in and closed his jeans, and reached around Jake to unlock the door. Jake moved to the side, letting Eli open the door then followed him down the hall to the foyer. Eli stopped in front of the door, turning around. Suddenly, it felt awkward. They’d had sex more times than Eli could count, but something about this felt different. And the way Jake was staring at him… Eli had never seen that look in his eyes before.
“I think we should talk.” Jake rubbed the nape of his neck. The guy looked… Hell, he looked nervous.
“Yeah, uh…we should, but not now.” Eli would kick himself if Jake never brought it up again, but… “You’ve got a lot of shit going on right now. Take care of all that. Fix things with Nick.” When Jake’s furrowed brow conveyed frustration, Eli added, “I’m not going anywhere.”
Jake let out a relieved breath and nodded his head. “Yeah, okay.”
Eli pointed toward the family room and the mess on the floor. “You better clean up that glass before you forget.”
“Shit,” Jake groaned, and scratched his chest as he looked toward the mess.
Eli averted his gaze to stop from looking at Jake’s muscular chest and opened the door with Jake behind him. He stepped onto the front steps when Jake grabbed his hand.
“Drive safe,” Jake said, and Eli was about to tease him about living right across the highway. But when he saw the earnest look in Jake’s eyes, all jokes faded away. He had a reason to be so concerned about Eli driving safe.
“I will,” Eli promised with a small smile then turned and walked down the stairs to his car.
As Eli drove home, he thought about everything that had happened. He’d never seen that broken look in Jake’s eyes before. Thankfully, Dylan was gradually healing. There was no way Jake would be able to deal with both his nephews acting out.
Dylan even seemed completely comfortable with Eli now. He smiled, remembering the look Dylan gave him right before he’d hugged him. It was like that was his way of saying he was okay with Eli. So, maybe that was what Eli could do for Jake. The guy was going to have his hands full with Nick, but maybe Eli could take the stress off Jake’s shoulders when it came to Dylan.
Eli pulled into the parking lot for his condo. He got upstairs and tossed his keys on the counter. Popping open a beer, he went and sat on the balcony. The nights were getting a little bit cooler now that it was almost the end of September, but he loved it.
Oddly enough, he felt like he had a plan now…a way to help Jake…because most of the time he just felt helpless. Helping with Dylan, though, might be exactly what Jake needed. It’s not like the kid needed much care, but Eli had seen what happened tonight. Dylan felt just as helpless as he had. No kid should have to worry about that, especially after everything Dylan had already been through.
Plus, it gave Eli a way to relieve some of Jake’s stress because using sex as a stress release just left Eli confused. He could still taste him on his tongue, and for fuck’s sake, he already wanted him again. He didn’t know what it meant for him and Jake, but he knew there was too much going on in Jake’s life right now for him to focus on Eli. He wouldn’t call tonight a mistake. He knew what was happening and wanted it so damn bad. Yet, his mind kept going back to one simple question and one simple answer.
“What do you want?”
“All of it.”