Chapter 6
Gordon
With a yawn, I tried to raise my hand to remove the nuisance that was tickling my nose, but my arm was dead. Frowning, I blinked my eyes open, trying to remember where the hell I was, upon seeing the unfamiliar room. More interesting was the reason my arm was dead. I had a gorgeous young man tucked against my side had his shoulders pressed my arm into the bed. Beau. It was his hair that was tickling my nose. The memory of the night returned like a flood, setting off alarm bells. At the same time, a healthy dose of lust I never knew I was capable of feeling shot through me. Beau had been gentle and sensitive to my needs, not even taking anything back.
I studied him while he slept. His face was relaxed, and he snored lightly, each expelled breath warming my neck. He was cuddled next to me with his head on my shoulder and one leg wedged between mine. We must have changed positions in our sleep because I remembered falling asleep spooning him. I hadn’t meant to fall asleep but lying with my arms around him was more relaxing than I would have thought. For the first time since Barbara’s death, I’d slept without waking up still feeling exhausted. My initial plan had been to hightail it out of there as soon as his eyes were closed but I’d hesitated. How could I not?
If I’d thought fooling around with a sexy stranger would mean I could now go back to my regular life, I was mistaken. Beau had woken up my hunger for what I always secretly yearned. A man with whom I could be myself. Beau had given me a glimpse of that tonight. I’d wanted to savor the moment a little while longer as I had watched him sleeping, just as I was doing now. I didn’t want to leave but to pull him closer to me and fall right back asleep.
While I appreciated tonight and its confirmation that my natural desire was to be with a man though I’d tried to bury it, I was alarmed at how comfortable I was with Beau. I was confused, uncertain if the attraction and pull I felt toward him were real or just a natural reaction because he was my first. My first kiss. My first sexual encounter with a man. I’d not been much interested in receiving head because my sex life with Barbara had mostly been horrible. Just enough for both of us to be a little satisfied. I usually was happier when it ended than enjoying the journey. It did achieve the purpose of giving me a climax sometimes, but the journey to that climax was not necessarily enjoyable.
What I had experienced with Beau was different, starting with his friendly conversation. It freaked me out because I never expected to fall into bed with the first man I happened across. All I intended to do was to man up and have a drink at the gay bar, scope out how things were and see if it was an atmosphere where I would like to hang out. Chatting up a random man had never crossed my mind, neither kissing and having his lips wrapped around my cock. Now I wanted to feel everything with him. I wanted to flip him onto his back and spread his ass cheeks, burying myself inside him. I wanted him to do more than slip a finger into my ass.
Fuck, now I knew what Charlie felt back when she was a regular teen girl crushing hard on a celebrity. But, I wasn’t a fifteen-year-old girl who never had a boyfriend. I was a grown ass man about to ‘fangirl’ a dude I just met.
“Shit.”
Beau shifted, and I stilled, praying he didn’t wake up. I needed to get the hell out of here and clear my mind. One night didn’t make a relationship, and there was still so much I didn’t know about this guy. I closed my eyes and counted to five before I gently eased my hand away from his head. It wasn’t an easy feat, especially with him only snuggling closer when I jarred him. Eventually, after several minutes passed, I managed to get my arm back. It was my luck that he slept like a log.
I eased out of bed and searched for my boxers to contain my floppy dick. I found it hanging off the edge of the bed and pulled it on. I retrieved my clothes from the chair he had placed them on earlier and dressed. Shoes in hand, I made a beeline for the door, wanting to get out before he woke up and caught me trying to sneak out. I had to leave before he woke up to avoid the awkward conversation that sure would follow. Beau was an openly gay man, and as far as the world knew, I was a straight male with two kids in high school. Coming out of the closet couldn’t be done overnight. At least not for me anyway. I couldn’t imagine what my kids would think, my employees and my parents. There was too much at stake.
With a last lingering look at the man who had given me a little piece of heaven tonight, I left his bedroom. I didn’t want to go but what other choice did I have? A glance at my phone revealed it would be light out soon.
All through the drive to my house on Dahlia Drive, I wondered if Beau had already noticed I was gone. Would he even miss me, or would he be glad that I’d saved us both from having the morning after sex conversation? In any event, I wouldn’t have been able to sleep with him through the night until morning. I had to get Charlie to school and find something for Ollie to do while he was on suspension. I would take him to the office and put him to work. Staying at home and not doing anything was precisely what he wanted, so giving him a suspension played right into his hands.
As I drove up to the garage, I noticed a single light was still downstairs. I parked inside the garage and used the interior door that attached the garage to the house, to get inside. I immediately went to investigate the source of the light and found Charlie, fast asleep lying on the sofa in the living room. Her long blond hair trailed from the couch to the floor, and the blanket she had was more on the floor than on top of her.
My first instinct was to wake her and send her to bed, but I refrained. She had just about two hours left before she would have to wake up for school anyway. The poor girl also suffered from nightmares. Many nights I lay in bed and heard her cries. I used to go in to hush her as she cried in my arms, but it became too much for me seeing her still so devastated after so long. It was getting better for her, but mostly the death had robbed her of her happiness. She reacted to her mother’s absence so differently from Ollie, but she suffered no less. At least she was open to going to the therapist, but the therapist had reported she rarely made any attempt to open up, so the sessions ended up wasted.
I fixed the blanket under her chin then turned off the television. I turned on the light in the kitchen to give her some light in the event she woke up to the darkness. She had taken to sleeping with a night light again. I checked in on Ollie who was asleep in his bedroom upstairs. I did so several times these days because he wasn’t beyond sneaking out when everyone else was in bed. I was relieved to find him sleeping on top of the covers, still fully dressed in the same outfit he had worn to school that day. His room was a mess, full of posters on the wall of famous basketball players, cars and women in bikinis. I’d given up trying to get him to take down the pictures of the women. He only put up more anyway. At least he’d taken down the worst ones.
Strewn on the floor were Ollie’s clothes, and because I wouldn’t be able to get any more sleep, I picked up his clothes and decided to do laundry. I loaded the washing machine then took a shower because Beau’s scent was driving me crazy. Once inside the bathroom, with the water cascading over my body, I couldn’t propel him from my mind. I wanted to see him again, and the desire was strong. We hadn’t exchanged numbers though and although I knew where he lived, I could never pop up unannounced. What if he had someone else over?
My dick grew hard thinking about him and the way his ass had felt pressed against my front like that. I liked his hard, toned body against my own, his broad back pressing into my chest. I wanted to suck him off too and now regretted that I hadn’t. The way he had swallowed my cum had been such a turn on. I wrapped my hand around my cock and stroked myself, my mind consumed with thoughts of Beau. I replayed the scene in my mind, the way his tongue had run over the length of my cock, the suction of his mouth, the excited moans he made while I held his head and thrust between his lips.
“Fuck, Beau!” I groaned, my ass clenching as jizz sprayed all over the floor. I collapsed against the wall, allowing my body to recover from the climax that had wrung it out and given it back to me still wanting more. With Beau.
“Shit, Gordon. Get your head straight,” I mumbled and continued my shower. I had my kids to think about. Going all the way with Beau couldn’t be my priority right now.
By the time I finished laundry and tidied up the house, it was already light out. I started on breakfast, while I heard Charlie padding around, getting ready for school. I knew her routine by now. She would walk around in a daze for about fifteen minutes until she was fully awake, then take her shower. While the bread was toasting, I ran up the stairs and knocked on Ollie’s bedroom door.
“Ollie, wake up.”
“I’m still sleeping,” he argued, his words muffled through the door.
I twisted the handle and pushed the door open. He dragged a pillow over his head, still in the same position he had been in when I checked on him earlier. “Hey, it’s time to get up.” I jerked the pillow from his head and dismissed his growl of displeasure.
“Why do I have to get up?” he asked. “I don’t have school. Remember?”
“I wish I didn’t have to,” I answered, hardening my voice. “You’ve half an hour to get up, take a shower, dress, and find yourself downstairs.”
He raised his head. “Why? Where am I going?”
“To work with me,” I answered.
“What? Why can’t I stay here? I won’t go anywhere. My friends are all at school anyway.”
I shook my head. “Not gonna happen, bub. You’d like that way too much. You’re going to work with me today and the rest of days that you are on suspension.”
“You’re not the boss of me,” he grumbled, glaring at me.
I raised my eyebrows at him. “Wanna say that again?”
He knew better than to repeat. I could feel myself crumbling slowly inside to give in to what he wanted, but that would not help him. I headed for the door before I gave in and told him he could stay at home.
“Thirty minutes, Ollie,” I reminded him.
“I heard you the first time.”
Back in the kitchen, I held my breath, hoping this wasn’t the morning he would test me. Without meaning to, my thoughts shifted to Beau. What was he doing now? Was he thinking about me? He was probably pissed that I’d sneaked out without even returning the favor of giving him head too. Or, maybe he was glad to be rid of me. I’d behaved like an awkward teenager getting laid for the first time.
“Something’s burning.”
I jerked back to the present at Charlie’s comment as she entered the kitchen. I flushed with embarrassment then calmed down as I turned the eggs. She didn’t have a clue what had me spaced out so no need to be embarrassed.
“How’d you sleep, Charlie?” I asked her, sharing a plate of toast, eggs, and sausages for her.
“Okay,” she answered with a shrug. She made a face at the plate. “I’ll just have orange juice.”
I inhaled a deep breath for patience. She was already too thin since she lost weight from her mother’s death. “You’ve to eat something before going to school, honey.”
“But I’m not hungry.”
“At least eat the toast,” I urged and poured her the orange juice. I placed the glass before her and continued in a much softer tone. “You’ve lost a lot of weight.”
She didn’t respond, and I was saved from continuing the discussion when Ollie walked into the kitchen. I tried not to let my relief show. He had a sour face, but at least he had shown up and on time too. Unlike Charlie, he had no qualms about eating. He dug into his breakfast while tapping away on his phone. I made myself a plate and watched them while I ate. Memories of the laughter that used to be in this kitchen were fading fast. Soon I wouldn’t remember what it was like to have happy kids.
“There are going to be some changes around here,” I announced, and that snagged their attention.
“Like what?” Charlie questioned.
“I’m going to be enrolling both of you in grief counseling again.”
Ollie scowled. “I’m not doing that again. We don’t need it. We’re doing fine.”
“You just robbed a store yesterday!” I snapped at him. “You are not doing fine. I should have never ended the grief counseling sessions.”
“We can go but doesn’t mean we’ll talk to her.” Ollie jutted out his chin, his lips pursed in defiance. “I don’t like her. She’s a nosy little—”
“Ollie!” I hissed sharply. “This is exactly the type of behavior I won’t tolerate. That’s another week added to your grounding. Now, listen to me. I don’t care if your friends make you feel like you’re a smartass, but as long as you live under my roof, you obey my rules.”
“What if I don’t want to live under your roof any longer?”
My stomach instantly revolted at the thought of Ollie leaving. He might have thought he was a man, but he was still a kid, who had lived sheltered for most of his life.
“You’re talking rubbish,” I told him. “This is your home. This is what’s going to happen today. First, we’ll drop you off at school, Charlie. Then, your brother and I will be at the trucking station for the rest of the day. Should I pick you up after school?”
She frowned at me. “Today there’s a conference after school with parents.”
I put down my fork and stared at her. “Why didn’t you tell me? That’s something I have to prepare for in advance. Because I had to drop by your school yesterday, I’ve more work piled up on me today.”
“Well, you don’t have to come, I guess,” she answered. “Mom- mom usually goes so I didn’t know if you would want to.” Her eyes shimmered with tears that spilled down her cheeks. This was always the reaction when she talked about her mother, and I didn’t know what to do about her grief.
“Of course, I’ll come,” I said. “I want to know of every meeting from now on. Okay?” She nodded and turned to playing with the food on her plate, pushing the fork through the eggs she wouldn’t eat. “Is there anything else I should know about?”
“There’s a play being put on by one of our teachers,” she added, and for the first time in six months, I saw the first sign of life in her eyes. Her cheeks were turning red. “Mr. Moreau is really nice, and he asked for more students to sign up yesterday.”
“You want to try out?” I was surprised because she hardly interacted with others these days. Her best friend Lianne had stopped calling after Charlie took to rejecting her calls.
She nodded. “Yes, but it’s at the community center so I’ll have to stop there after school, three days of the week. Is that okay?”
“Of course, yes!” I probably answered too quickly, but I was over the moon. Maybe being involved in the play would help her deal with her grief. The hint of admiration I heard in her voice for her teacher was a bit unexpected, but most girls always had a crush on at least one male teacher. I could always feel this teacher out later when I showed up at her school.
I glanced from her to Ollie. With Charlie occupied in that play production, I would have only him to deal with. That should give me more time to spend with Ollie and get him back on track. Maybe life was working itself out after all.