Chapter Twenty-Two
Hailey
Later That Evening
We didn’t get back to the ranch until after dark. Cash hurried off to take care of his animals, telling me we could share a snack at the dinner table once he finished, that he expected it to take no more than an hour or two to get things back in order after being away all day.
I went inside to shower and change. I hadn’t taken one that morning since I got up so last minute after being up half the previous night. Paige had sent me a few messages throughout the day, which I’d read but hadn’t responded to. I was having such a great time with Cash that I didn’t want to take the time to answer her. After showering and putting on fresh, comfortable clothes, I sat down on the bed and gave her a call.
“Hey,” she answered. “I was messaging you all day.”
“I know,” I replied. “Guess where I was?”
“Do I have to?” She sounded a lot less amused than I felt.
“I was out with Cash. At a rodeo!”
“What?”
I giggled at the surprise in her voice. “That sounds weird as hell, doesn’t it? But it was a lot of fun. I couldn’t believe how much fun it was. We’ve really been missing out. It’s like a carnival and a show all rolled into one. I even got talked into watching some of the bronco riding, which was amazing. These people are crazy.” I stopped to take a breath after that mouthful, giving Paige an opportunity to jump in.
“Wait, was this a date?”
“No,” I said, then second-guessed myself. “Probably not. But it was really great. Cash was so much more relaxed at the rodeo than I’ve ever seen him here on the ranch. He’s so into his schedule, always worrying about sticking to his routine. He just let go of that while we were out. He’s back at it now, of course, but he has living things to take care of, so I can’t really blame him.”
“What about the other guy? Eric?” she asked.
“All of that weird shit from the last week just suddenly stopped. I don’t really know how to explain it. Eric isn’t dropping by here all the time anymore. We’ve emailed back and forth a few times, and he’s offered to take me out on the horses, but hasn’t come by yet.” I shrugged, not that Paige could see. “I’m actually relieved. I feel a closer connection to Cash, and would rather focus my energy there.”
“Do you think the guys talked about it? If you noticed, they had to notice it too.”
Color rushed to my face so quickly, my cheeks tingled. The thought of them talking about me behind my back was mortifying. It was a little thrilling too, but mostly embarrassing. I wasn’t a social pariah in high school and college, but I wasn’t one of the popular elite either. Having guys fight over me was new, and I was happy to have it never happen again. Leave that to the characters in my books.
“God, I hope not. Maybe Eric could see the connection between Cash and me?”
Paige giggled. “The important question is, does Cash even see it? Have you told him you’re interested yet? Or are you making the poor guy guess?”
I frowned at that assessment. “I think I’ve made it clear enough through my actions how much I like him. I haven’t come right out and said it, but I give him encouraging looks.” More laughter from Paige, which was annoying but typical. I sighed to show my annoyance, which only drew more laughter from her. “And I tried to incorporate some hands-on stuff today, like grabbing his arm when we were in a crowd and swatting his arm when he got cute with me. It’s a slow burn, not an instant inferno.”
“Sounds like you have it all worked out. I’ll be happy to be your maid of honor right before you turn 80 years old at this rate.”
“What’s wrong with wanting him to make the first move?”
“Nothing, I guess, if you’re okay with waiting. I think you should go for it, though. Let him know you’re interested. Why not go all the way with your research and see what it’s like to ride this cowboy?”
I burst out laughing, and so did she. “Oh my God, Paige. You are so inappropriate.”
“Don’t act like you haven’t thought about it.”
My cheeks were tingling again. I’d had a few more steamy dreams about being with Cash, not that Paige knew about those. Right now, I’d settle for a kiss. The rest could come later.
“So tell me about everything else that doesn’t involve you refusing to go after this guy,” Paige said.
I sighed. “There’s so much to tell. Have you looked at the pictures I sent you?”
“Yeah, it looks boring out there. Way too much empty space.”
“I guess you really can’t understand what it’s like to be out here without visiting yourself. It’s one of the things that will be the most difficult part about using it as a setting. Life is just different here. More relaxed. It doesn’t compare to other rural places I’ve visited. I think I could probably spend the rest of my life out here and be happy.”
“Are you kidding me?” Paige sounded almost offended by the idea.
“I’d still want to travel all the time, of course, but this wouldn’t be the worst home base in the world.”
“You have gone insane. What is that cowboy feeding you that you’re starting to actually like that boring state?”
I giggled at her muted outrage. “I’m the one feeding him, remember? And Wyoming is anything but boring. It took me a minute to understand the charm of where I was. Now that I have, I can honestly picture being happy out here. You have to come check it out before I leave. I can ask Cash if he’d mind you dropping by for a few days. There are places to stay in town, of course, but that would be a completely different experience from staying on the farm.”
“All you need is to fall completely head over heels for this Clint Eastwood wannabe, and you will have gone completely native, Hale.” She started laughing, which softened some of the harshness of her comment so much that I joined her.
“You really need to come out here,” I said after the giggles had died down again. “My creative juices are running so quickly. I have pages and pages of notes. I’m ready to start my story now. I think I’ll do it tomorrow after I get up. Everything here is potential material. Just being around Cash as he moves around his ranch doing chores is a nonstop stream of inspiration.”
“You sound like you’re more in love with Jackson than you are your cowboy.”
I made a thoughtful noise. I’d never considered that. But really, they were both tied up together. I’d never have even seen the real Jackson without Cash’s help.
“I don’t think I’d go that far,” I said, finally. “But I can’t deny that I like this more than the constant bustle of Manhattan. Maybe it’s natural, considering I’m getting closer to my 30s, to want to live somewhere quieter.”
“I hope I don’t suddenly become boring when I’m as old as you!” she said, and giggled.
“You’re only 18 months younger than I am,” I replied dryly.
“So, what are you going to do about your boy? According to your original plan, you’re only staying in Wyoming until October. That’s just about a month away.”
Leave it to Paige to rain torrentially on my parade. I really didn’t have much time left here. It was depressing to think about, but I didn’t know what I could do besides pack my bags and count it as yet another successful trip.
“If you don’t want to start something you can’t finish in a month, maybe it’s better to leave well enough alone and not getting anything going with Cash,” she said. I didn’t know how she’d ended up being wiser about these matters than I was. She was more comfortable around the opposite sex too, which seemed patently unfair.
“I’m not entirely sure what I want,” I admitted, sighing the words. “I like Cash, but his life is out here, and mine is on the other side of the country.”
“Just make sure not to get ahead of yourself. You went out on one pseudo-date with a cute guy. That you happened to have lived with him for the last month and a half is immaterial. You aren’t in a relationship with him. Don’t twist your life out of joint until you understand what your true feelings are and what you want from the future. In other words, no moving to Wyoming!”
She laughed and so did I, though what she’d said weighed heavily on my mind.
“Think about your poor little sister, who will have to visit you in the middle of nowhere instead of cosmopolitan Manhattan!”
I rolled my eyes and snorted a laugh. “Yeah, I’ll keep your needs at the forefront of my mind as I figure out what the hell to do with my life.”
“That’s all I ask. I have to go, Hale. Unlike you, I have an actual date tonight.”
“You’d better call to tell me all about it tomorrow. We’re usually done eating around nine.”
“Just in time for Mr. Farmer to be in bed?”
“Something like that,” I said, grinning at the thought of Cash snuggled up in his blankets and sheets. What did he wear to bed? Boxers? A T-shirt? Nothing at all? My cheeks burned at the thought of just walking to the other side of the house one night and finding out for myself. Would he ask me to leave or insist that I join him?
“Bye, Hailey.”
“Bye.” I set down my cell but didn’t get up to put together a small snack in the kitchen for us to eat once Cash finished with his nighttime chores and took a shower. I stared down at my hands, letting the conversation I just had with Paige turn over in my head, hoping for new insight to reveal itself. But I was hopelessly conflicted. On the one hand, I just wanted to knock out my outline and get started constructing the bare bones of my story. On the other, I wanted to see what might develop between Cash and me, given the right set of circumstances. I’d caught him looking at me a few times at the rodeo, and I could almost read what he was thinking. Or I thought I could. That was my biggest problem. I could describe a character so well, a reader would swear she’d actually met the person in real life, but I couldn’t tell what someone standing right in front of me was thinking to save my life.
I had my future plans to consider—returning to New York to finish the first draft of my novel, so I could get it to my editor—but I also had everything I’d discovered since coming to Jackson. Paige was right. I needed to figure out what I wanted and what I was willing to do to get it. The first order of business was to decide with some kind of finality how I felt for Cash. I had a pretty good idea, especially considering certain dreams I’d been having recently. But moving forward meant making a host of other difficult decisions. Cash would never visit me in New York—that much I knew for certain. I liked it out here, but could I uproot my life? And over some guy I hadn't even known in June?
I shook my head as I rose from the bed and walked out to the kitchen. I had to figure something out, and I only had a month left to do it.