Chapter 4

Tessa

 

 

Walking across the lawn of the small campus, my thoughts were consumed by Professor Dunlap’s response to my invitation for coffee. It was coffee, not a weekend in the Bahamas. You would have thought I’d hit him with a two-by-four before demanding he marry me. The dude needed to lighten up. In fact, every time I spoke to him, he gave me this look. It was a look of horror mixed with disgust.

I wasn’t conceited where my appearance was concerned, but I knew I wasn’t an ogre, either. He struggled to meet my eyes and if he got within ten feet of me, he got this look similar to that of a deer caught in the headlights. I grin, remembering that I’d caught him looking down my shirt. He was human after all. My invitation to coffee had been an olive branch. I wasn’t sure if he was still irritated over my being late the first day, and had hoped to visit a little and smooth things out. That apparently wasn’t going to happen.

There was no way I was going to spend the entire year working for him if he wouldn’t talk to me. We would be seeing each other every damn day. He could learn some manners and treat me with some sort of respect. I wasn’t asking for accolades or for him to lavish gifts on me, but come on. How hard would it be to smile or say hello without me dragging it out of him?

I was dreading going back in there now. Tuesdays were a long day for me, I had to do two of his classes and three of my own. It left little time for homework, which was why I was trying to sneak in that last bit of calculus. It wasn’t like I needed to hear his lecture. I had already taken the beginning class. I was there to help—not learn.

Frustrated, I made a growling sound, earning a few strange looks from students walking by. I needed to get out more. After seeing the professor and what he had become, I wanted to make damn sure that didn’t happen to me. Life was short—we both knew that. We had a choice to make, and I was going to enjoy life as much as I could.

After Talia’s death, I too had withdrawn. I stopped going out. I hadn’t been on a date or even out to dinner with friends. It was as if I couldn’t stand the idea of living in a world where my sister wasn’t. Interacting with the professor had been an eye-opener. I would end up being him if I didn’t get my shit together, and I didn’t want to be a lonely, bitter woman at his age. Not that he was old, but he was missing out on what should have been the prime of his life. No way was I going to do the same.

Reaching into my back pocket to pull out my phone, I quickly unlocked it with a practiced thumb and pulled up Maria’s number. Yes, I was going to actually call instead of text. I smiled as I imagined what Maria’s expression would be when she recognized my number.

“Hey,” I said when Maria answered.

“Tessa?” she asked, sounding confused.

I laughed. “Duh. Did you forget me already? It’s only been an hour since I saw you last.”

“Uh, well, you never call. What’s up?” Maria said with concern.

“Nothing. Want to go out tonight?”

“What?”

I laughed again. “You heard me. Let’s go get some dinner, and maybe a drink or something,” I explained.

“Sure. Fine, that sounds great. Are you okay?”

“Yep, fine. It’s time,” I said in a softer voice.

“It is time,” my friend replied, with a tone filled with understanding. “How about we go to Rico’s? We haven’t been there in a while.”

I wrinkled my nose but agreed to go, anyway. Key West wasn’t exactly party central for a college student, but there were still plenty of clubs and places that catered to the younger population. The Mexican restaurant was the typical hangout place before people headed to the club. It was a good first step.

There was a pause before Maria filled the silence, “How’s the assistant teaching thing going?”

I groaned. “Don’t ask.”

“That bad?”

“He’s weird—awkward I mean—like reclusive. I don’t know, I mean, I know he lost his family and all, but it’s like he lost the ability or the will to live.”

Maria didn’t say anything and the seconds ticked away in silence.

“Hello? I am not like that. Don’t even compare me to him!” I shrieked.

Maria chuckled. “No, you aren’t—yet, but I do worry about you.”

I nodded, even though my friend couldn’t see it. “I know, and now after seeing him, I get it. I really get what you’ve been saying, and I am going to try and do better.”

“Good. Are you going to be able to keep up with the workload? I think you’re completely out of your mind trying to do almost two semester’s worth of work in one. I mean, aren’t you going to burn out?”

I smiled, appreciating my friend’s concern. Being so far from home, I could have easily drifted away and ended up like the professor. I was thankful and lucky to have had Maria to pull me in and keep me grounded.

“I think I’ll be okay. I need to find my groove, and then it will be fine. I don’t have to work this year, so that’s a huge help, and the TA gig won’t require much outside of the class time. If I want to graduate on time, I have to do this. I took off too much time—” I stopped.

We both knew why I had stopped going to school. Talia’s death had been extremely difficult. I had gone home to Georgia to be with my mom for a couple of months. My professors had been generous, but there came a point when too much time had been missed. Now, I was playing catch up. I didn’t want to spin my wheels in college another year. My mom couldn’t afford it and neither could I. Thankfully, I had been ahead in credits when the accident happened. I was shy six credits if I only took the classes I was slated to take before Talia's death. I had to up my game to make up the six credits to ensure I graduated on time. I was so glad I had been a little excited those first two years and taken extra credits. which wasn’t so hard to make up in two semesters.

“Glad you’re back, Tess,” my friend said, with a hint of sadness in her voice. “You had me worried.”

“I’m good, but I have to go. I need some coffee before I head back to the gloomy den of Professor Dunlap,” I joked.

“Okay, see you tonight,” Maria said, before ending the call.

I took a deep breath and felt much better. A weight had been lifted now that I had made the decision to get out there more. I felt terrible for my boss, but there was no way I was going down that road. He was a real eye-opener, and I believed in learning from the mistakes of others anytime I could.

Once I got my coffee, I found a shady spot to sit down. Leaning back against a tree, I mulled over my new outlook on life. Professor Dunlap reminded me a lot of Eeyore. Unfortunately, I couldn’t tell him to get his shit together and get over it. I needed his credit to graduate. If he complained to the dean or claimed my work wasn’t good enough, I would essentially fail.

I sighed. Nope, I was going to have to kill him with kindness and keep my opinions to myself. I would have to deal with his sullen personality and do whatever it took to win him over. I knew that deep down there was a man inside, clamoring to get out and reclaim his life. It would take some time, but I would slowly chip away at the solid wall he had built around himself.

We didn’t have to be best friends, but it would certainly make both of our lives easier if he could actually look at me and talk without looking horrified. I would be gentle, as if I were handling a delicate flower. His image popped into my mind. He was a big guy and would probably not appreciate being compared to a flower. It wasn’t his body that was damaged—no, definitely not. It was his soul. His body was quite fine. I felt myself drifting away, daydreaming about what a younger, undamaged Professor Dunlap would look like.

A shriek from behind me startled me out of my musings. I checked the time on my phone and realized I needed to get back to the dungeon. Rushing back across campus, I cursed myself for getting lost in some very questionable thoughts about my boss. As if things needed to be any more awkward between us.

I took a sip of my coffee, shook the ice to free the last of it and sucked it down before tossing the cup in the trash. I was pretty sure my grumpy professor would frown upon drinks in the classroom. As I walked in, I quickly scanned the room, noting the new faces. One notable face missing was Professor Grumpy. I turned around and there he was. I had to take a step back. He wasn’t quite so grumpy looking at the moment. In fact, he even gave me a faint smile before he turned to the class, slapped his hands together and dove right in.

I quickly got out of his way and took my seat at my small desk. It was only after I sat down that I noticed I was back in the corner. He had moved my desk away from his. For some reason, it stung, as if I wasn’t worthy of sitting near him.

Pushing the thought out of my mind, I grabbed the stack of quiz tests that had been turned in after the last class. Mr. Professor had given them a bit of a surprise test—just to see how well they had been listening. As I scanned through the answers, it was apparent that very few had. How could they not listen to his lectures? He spoke with such passion, and he had a way of captivating an audience—or was it just me?

Even now, my attention kept drifting to him as he paced around the class. His voice going up and dropping to that husky tone I had come to know meant he was really passionate about what he was saying. I watched him spread his arms wide as he talked. I could watch him all day. No, I couldn’t. I had to get these quizzes graded by the end of this class. No slacking. I was going to prove to him I was a valuable asset to his class and worthy of the credits I would hopefully earn.

This time, I knew the second class was over. Before I knew it, the depleted stack of quizzes was replaced with a new pile. Students shuffled forward, dropping them on my desk one at a time. I didn’t want to stick around, opting to take them home and do them after I got home tonight.

“Here you go,” I said, handing him the graded stack.

“How were they?” he asked, clearly uneasy and wondering if his teaching was effective.

I cringed. “Well, I’d say about half are paying attention, but this is one way to get those who weren’t to start doing so.” I smiled.

He nodded, taking the papers and quickly thumbing through them. He visibly flinched when he came across one that was particularly bad.

“You’re always going to have one or two in the bunch. Don’t take it personally,” I assured him.

His eyes met mine, holding them for several long seconds. “But I do.”

“In that case, I’m sorry, but really, some of these kids are in here because they were basically forced to go to school. Focus on the students who want to be here and want to learn from you. Screw the rest,” I said, waving a hand.

When he smiled, I stepped back. It had been unexpected. He was a very good-looking man. The smile gave me a small glimpse of the man he really was under the armor of pain and grief he wore. At that moment, I made it my mission to bring that man out from behind the walls he had constructed. The world has need of him.