Chapter 34

Tessa

 

 

I blinked, trying to orientate myself.

Where the hell am I?

Ian’s bed. That’s where, but where was he? I stretched my arm out, searching for his big, warm body, but I was all alone in his bed. I blinked again, focusing my eyes on the flashing alarm clock. Obviously, the power was back, but by the sound of the rain beating against the bedroom window, it was still pretty nasty out there.

In the distance, I could hear the quiet drone of a news channel. I couldn’t tell if it was the radio or the television. I strained my ears and focused on the droll sound of the weatherman giving an update on the impending hurricane. It was still headed our way and picking up strength.

“This category two storm is expected to make landfall tomorrow morning,” I heard the man say.

“Great,” I moaned. I loved the early warning we got with the hurricanes, but it always felt like we wasted so much time sitting and waiting, and then it would bypass us completely. Obviously, that was a good thing, but it always felt like there were about a hundred other things I could be doing while waiting for a storm.

The sound of the shower became clear when the weatherman went silent for a brief moment. I knew one way to pass the time. I crawled out of bed and stripped out of his shirt as I made my way to the bathroom, before stepping out of my thong.

I quietly pushed open the unlocked bathroom door, padding across the cold tile before I pulled open the shower door.

His back was to me, his face turned up towards the shower spray. My eyes moved slowly down his back, coming to rest on his very perfect ass. He must have felt the cold draft and spun around.

When he saw me, he smiled. “Hey.”

I stepped in, shutting the door behind me and walked into his bare chest, my mouth open and licking the water running like sheets over his nipple.

His hands were in my hair, lifting it away from my neck, clearing the way for his mouth. I instinctively leaned my head to the left, giving him unfettered access to lick and suck one of the most sensitive parts of my body. His hand moved down my stomach, reaching between my legs and dividing the folds.

“Ian,” I moaned as he rubbed the other highly sensitive area that was causing me to stand on my toes as I tried to move away from the exquisite torture. His mouth was dancing across my collarbone as his finger plucked at me like a practiced guitarist. My body was going taut, and I found myself straining to reach a climax after less than a minute of being in the shower. I wanted it to last longer.

I stepped out of the stream of water and dropped to my knees in front of him, using my hands on his ass to pull him towards me.

“Tess,” he groaned.

He had dropped the ‘a’ on my name, something I usually hated, but when he said it this way it was arousing, and surprisingly intimate.

I used one hand to cup his balls and the other to hold his dick straight up so I could attend to it with my mouth. I squeezed his balls, before gently tugging while my other hand slid up his wet length a moment before my mouth surrounded him. I closed my eyes, savoring the taste and feel of him, listening to him groan in pleasure.

His hips bucked forward, and I sucked harder, taking him further into my mouth all while holding his sack. I could feel myself growing wetter with each pull of my mouth. Just when I thought he would lose control, he bent his knees, dropping low enough to put his hands around my waist and pull me up. He kissed me hard and deep before spinning me around. His hands grabbed my wrists, and he planted my hands against the shower wall on either side of my head.

He used a knee to spread my legs and my back arched in expectation. He stepped close behind me, his dick poking my ass. He rubbed it against me, before bending at the waist and pressing his chest to my back.

“You’re so fucking hot, Tessa. Do you know what you do to me?” he whispered in my ear. His breath caused goosebumps to pop up, despite the heat and humidity inside the closed shower.

“Fuck me, Ian,” I demanded.

His mouth opened on my neck, and he licked it a split second before he used his teeth to nibble at my skin. It was a sharp pain that was quickly replaced with abrupt arousal that nearly had me coming in hot, squirting gushes.

My hands were still pressed to the wall, his weight pushing into me from behind. I leaned forward a few more inches, driving my ass up and into his dick, begging for him to enter. He finally obliged, and like the skilled lover he was, he slid home without ever releasing my wrists. I moaned, pushed back against him and arched my back further, trying to take him in deeper.

He was slow and methodical, pushing in as deep as he could, then not moving for several long, breathless seconds before he slowly withdrew, repeating the process over and over until I was worked up into a mindless frenzy.

He pushed in, agonizingly slow, planting himself deep within before he released my left wrist and moved his hand slowly down my stomach. His hand splayed across my belly as he pressed in deeper than I thought possible.

“You feel so good. You’re so wet,” he groaned, pushing one of his fingers to the point where we were joined. He slid the tip of his finger inside, stretching me to the point I wasn’t sure if I was crying out in pain or pleasure. He pressed on that nub with the pad of his finger before nuzzling my neck. The pressure combined with being filled with his cock had me seeing stars, literally. My vision blurred as I allowed myself to get lost in the feeling of him deep inside me.

That was all it took to send me into the black abyss of one of the most amazing orgasms I had ever experienced. My body arched and attempted to pull away, but his hand on my belly held me firmly in place. My free hand grabbed the small bar on the shower wall, and I held on for dear life as my legs shook with sheer pleasure.

Once I was able to see clearly again, I stood, one hand still on the wall of the shower, holding my body weight.

“You okay,” he whispered in my ear with concern.

I nodded, I couldn’t speak.

He turned me around and kissed away the tears I didn’t realize were streaming down my face. The climax had been so powerful I had felt it to my very core. Being with him was unlike any other sexual experience I had in the past. He demanded every part of me. We touched on an entirely different level, as if our very souls were experiencing the ecstasy of the earth-shattering sex between us.

“That was amazing,” I told him, wanting to assure him I wasn’t actually upset.

He nodded, and kissed the tip of my nose. “It was. You’re beautiful, Tessa, absolutely fucking gorgeous.”

I felt foolish. “I’m sorry. The tears, I don’t know. It wasn’t you or anything—I don’t know,” I blurted out, not able to explain what happened.

“It’s okay, I get it. I do, really,” he said, gently kissing my lips.

I stood there, letting him wash me before he attended to himself. The water went from hot to warm to an icy cold.

“Go!” he yelled, laughing as the water hit him on the backside.

I started giggling and pushed the door open. I stood there, naked, dripping water on his bathroom floor. He grabbed a towel and wrapped it around me before grabbing another one for himself. He quickly dried his hair and then wrapped it around his body.

“Hungry?” he asked, leading the way out of the bathroom.

“I am, but I would be more interested in a cup of coffee. Please tell me you have coffee?”

He rolled his eyes. “Duh. Who doesn’t have coffee?”

We walked into his bedroom, where he picked up my thong and handed it to me before going to his chest of drawers and pulling out another one of his t-shirts.

“Here,” he said, handing it to me. “Put this on, and I’ll get the coffee started.”

I did as he asked and met him in the kitchen, taking a seat at the small bar that divided the kitchen and dining room. Something was wrong. I could tell by the way he was moving—and not meeting my eyes.

Had I freaked him out with my post-coital crying?

He sat down next to me. I could feel something big coming and did what I could to brace myself. It was over. It was over before it ever got started.

“I need to tell you something,” he started, and I cringed.

Nodding, my throat was closing up, knowing what was coming. I refused to cry. I swallowed the lump that felt as big as a golf ball in my throat.

He put a hand on my knee. “Not that. No. Definitely not that.”

“Okay, then what? Do you have a terminal disease? Are you really still married? What?” My mind whirred trying to guess what had him so visibly upset.

“It’s about Miriam.” When I flinched, leaning back and away from him, he squeezed my knee. “Please, I need to get this out.”

“I’m sorry, go ahead, just tell me.”

He exhaled a long breath. “I asked her to marry me because she got pregnant after we had a brief fling. I was young, barely out of college and a little wild at the time. She got pregnant and threatened to keep the baby from me if I didn’t marry her. So, we got married. It wasn’t a happy marriage, but I tried. She tried.”

“I’m sorry,” I muttered, feeling a little bad for him.

He gave a wan smile. “That wasn’t the worst of it. About six months after Ally was born, Miriam and I got into a horrible fight. She told me that Ally wasn’t mine. I thought she was lying but did a DNA test. Ally wasn’t mine. By the time I found out this baby girl I had loved with every fiber of my being wasn’t mine, I was too attached. I couldn’t divorce Miriam then because I would never see Ally again, so we stayed married.”

“Wow,” I muttered, not sure what else to say.

He nodded. “When they died, I was mired in guilt. I didn’t dislike Miriam and would never wish her dead, but I didn’t love her, and our marriage was awful. I grieved for Ally. Even though she wasn’t my biological daughter—she truly was mine.”

I took his hand and brought it to my cheek, before turning to kiss his palm. “I’m sorry.”

He smiled. “Thank you. I needed you to understand what drove me to give up on everything. I became a shut-in, quit my job and wallowed in self-pity and guilt. I loathed myself and who I was. I couldn’t face anyone. I have carried around this, this hate for what I allowed to happen. I never got a chance to make it right. I have always wondered if I loved Ally enough. Did she know I wasn’t her biological dad?” He groaned and shook his head. “I pray she didn’t. No one else knew. You’re the only person I’ve ever told. Jake doesn’t even know.”

I scooted off my stool and wrapped my arms around him. As I held him tight, I could feel his burden slipping away the longer I held on. His confession explained the self-loathing I had first noticed in him, and I wanted more than ever to make it all go away.

I couldn’t, so I just held him tighter. It was all I could do for him.