Liam

 

There. I said it. Out loud. In the flesh.

When she said nothing at all, I glanced down at her. She appeared stunned, eyes almost glazed over with surprise.

I made a rude sound. “Why do you have that look on your face?”

She blinked. “I think I misheard you.”

“I said you deserve better than me.”

She laughed.

Straight up laughed.

I scowled. “What the fuck are you laughing for?”

She put a hand over her mouth, stifling it. Apology in her eyes. Lowering her hand, she said, “That’s insane.”

I turned away from the window, fully facing her, leaning a hip on the side of the sink. “I’m a lot of things, sweetheart, but insane ain’t one of them.”

Something passed behind her eyes. Something I didn’t understand. “Of course you aren’t.” She reached out and circled her fingers around my wrist. Her hand was so small her fingers couldn’t reach all the way around.

Or maybe it was just because I was that much larger than her.

“Liam, you really think that?”

Gruffly, I replied, “I don’t think it. I know.” Agitated, I moved out of the kitchen and into the sunken living room. Charlie beat his tail against the couch. The damn dog took up almost all of it.

I scratched behind his ear anyway, then flung into a large leather club chair.

A moment later, Bellamy came into the room, carrying a mug of steaming coffee. She held it out to me, so I took it, not willing to rebuff anything she did for me.

“Where’s yours?” I asked, taking a sip. She’d made it exactly how I liked it.

She wrinkled her cute nose. “I don’t want any.”

“I’ll make you some hot chocolate,” I said, moving to stand.

She gestured me back. “No. I’m fine.”

It was an odd day when she turned down cocoa. I took in her face, the pallor of her skin, the dark circles beneath her eyes, and how her clothes seemed a little loose on her frame.

With a sigh, I set the coffee beside the chair and reached for her. She came without hesitation, and my battered heart sang because that awkward feeling we’d been suffocating under was nowhere to be found.

“God, I missed you,” she confessed quietly.

“I tried to stay away, Bells. I just can’t… I take one look at you and fucking break.”

She palmed my face, rubbing over the longer beard I was sporting. “I don’t want you to stay away.”

“I let you down,” I said, the words ripping right out of me. The darkness swirling inside me began to rise to try and snatch them back, as if keeping them tucked away inside me wouldn’t only allow the darkness to fester.

“I don’t even think it’s possible,”

I shook my head, cutting her off. “I wasn’t there to protect you. I got too caught up with the resort, my dad… my own demons, and it almost got you killed.”

There was that look again. The one I didn’t understand. The second I mentioned my demons, it dropped over her baby blues like a veil.

“I’ve been blaming myself, and you’ve been blaming yourself,” she said, tucking herself against me, her cheek on my shoulder.

Having her in my lap this way was indescribable.

“It’s my job to protect this family.”

“You take on too much for one man, Liam.” Her hand smoothed over my chest and curled around the side of my neck. “You carry the weight of everyone and everything you love like its solely yours to bear. It’s isn’t.” Bellamy lifted her head. “The fact that you’ve been punishing yourself for something you had absolutely no control over hurts me.”

“I don’t want to hurt you,” I murmured, leaning my head back against the leather. I couldn’t help it. The soothing sound of her voice made me feel heavy.

“You haven’t failed anyone. And you most definitely are good enough for me. Hell, if anything, you’re too good for me.”

I opened my eyes. “Don’t ever say that.”

She crossed her arms over her chest, a mutinous expression on her face. “Well, that’s exactly how I feel when you say it.”

My hand settled on her thigh. “I can’t even imagine what you went through that night.” The sudden lump of emotion in my throat threatened to choke me. “I wasn’t there. I’m so fucking sorry I wasn’t there.”

Bellamy moved, straddling my lap and pushing close. “You were there. In all the ways that matter. If you hadn’t barreled in when you did, he might have shot me. You surprised us both, you know.” Her voice turned rueful. “How did you even know what was happening?”

“Charlie,” I said. The dog lifted his head off the sofa and looked at us. “He walked right into the hotel and wouldn’t stop barking at the staff. They called me, and I figured something was wrong.”

“And Ren was with you?” she asked, trying to piece it together.

“No,” I answered regrettably. “I think he was in Mom’s office down the hall. He heard me yelling at my assistant to get the police over to the house as I was racing out.”

“He followed…” she whispered.

“Yeah.”

“Any parent would do the same.” Bellamy’s hand fluttered to her midsection.

My eyes dropped to her fingers on her stomach. “Bellamy,” I intoned, a funny feeling worming around inside my chest.

Her hand fell away, her eyes timidly meeting mine. “You said you wished I hadn’t gone home alone. That I was being careless.”

I surged up so my back wasn’t touching the seat anymore. Wrapping a hand around the back of her neck, I said, “I told you it was a brief moment.”

“But you’re right.” She insisted. “If I hadn’t gone home early, it might not have happened.”

I sank back. “Honestly, sweetheart, I think we all knew this was coming. If not then, another time. I just hadn’t expected it would be Dad…”

She nodded, staring down at my middle, seemingly lost in her own mind.

“Bells,” I murmured, reaching for her hand, linking ours together.

“I had a reason for being home early, Liam. I wasn’t being careless, at least not intentionally. I was…”

I felt my lips turn down. Watching her struggle was something I would never like. “You were what?”

“I, ah… I’d had a doctor’s appointment earlier in the day, and I was at home, waiting for some test results.”

My heart stopped.

My lungs stopped.

Everything inside me stopped.

“Liam,” Bellamy said. I saw her name on my lips, but didn’t hear her voice. “Breathe!”

I couldn’t. I was stuck, panic in control now.

Not her, too. Sweet mercy, please not Bellamy. I’ve already lost my father.

Plush lips pillowed against mine, gliding over my mouth and snapping me back to the present. I pulled in a deep breath, but she stayed, her tongue skating over mine with a graceful caress.

I moaned and sat up, gripping the back of her head and taking control of our kiss. Slashing my lips over hers again and again. I wasn’t gentle, and neither was she. I kissed her with fierceness, anger, and longing. I kissed her the way I’d wanted to since I’d pulled that gun out of her hand and ushered her into the back of an ambulance. I made love to her mouth because, in the end, words were only words, but action left behind memory.

I only pulled back when my lungs screamed and I knew she needed air.

Her lips were swollen and her eyes were wide as she stared at me, our chests heaving.

I grabbed her face, pleading with her stare.

“It wasn’t those kinds of tests, Liam. I’m fine. I’m healthy.”

I fell back, dizzy with relief. “Next time, lead with that, huh?”

“I’m sorry.” She chewed on her lower lip, and I noted the way her fingers trembled, tucked into her lap.

I took them in mine, lifting one to kiss the back of her hand. “There’s something.”

She nodded, avoiding eye contact. “There’s something.”

“Tell me.”

“I’m pregnant.”