Liam

 

“You think I got pregnant on purpose?” she asked, her cheeks paling.

I chuckled. “I’m pretty sure you didn’t make that baby all by yourself.”

She put a hand to her stomach, and my chest literally caved in. She was a sight for sore eyes. The best damn thing I’d ever laid eyes on. No amount of medals or trophies, no paycheck or snow drift could ever compare. This was even better than a brand-new custom-made snowboard.

My entire life was standing right in front of me.

“I don’t understand.” She frowned.

I swept forward and lifted her off her feet. “Sweetheart, you told me you wanted everything, and that’s exactly what I gave you.”

Her eyes widened, and she sucked in a breath. “You wanted this to happen?”

“I didn’t necessarily plan it,” I said nonchalantly, setting her down. “After that first time I was bare inside you, the idea of you having my baby was almost primal. I’ve thought about it more than once. This definitely isn’t something I’m surprised to learn.”

“Well, it surprised the hell out of me.”

I laughed. But then I sobered up. I realized she hadn’t exactly acted happy… just cautious. Taking her face in my hands, I studied her. “Are you unhappy about this?”

“I thought you would be!” she wailed, her eyes filling with moisture.

I’d seen enough of her tears to last an entire lifetime. “Don’t cry,” I murmured. “You really thought I would be upset about this?”

She nodded. “Our life is a mess. You’ve been living with your mother, and I’ve been living with your best friend!”

Jealousy was like an electric current. “Does Alex know?”

She looked offended. “I would never tell anyone without telling you first.”

“You should have told me right away.”

“I didn’t want you to feel trapped with me,” she said sadly.

“Sweetheart, I could be physically stuck to you with permanent glue, and I still wouldn’t feel trapped.”

“I was so afraid you’d be upset,” Bellamy confided.

I tipped up her chin so I could stare into her eyes. “I could never.” Both my hands hovered around her midsection, still not reaching out to touch. “There’s really a baby in there,” I said, awed. “A piece of you and me.”

“I’d show you a picture, but I don’t have one,” she muttered.

I chuckled, the warm feeling of joy choking me up a little. “Can I?” I asked, gesturing toward her.

“You don’t even have to ask.”

My palms covered her waist, overlapping and spanning it entirely. Rubbing gently, I smiled. “Hey there, little guy.”

She sniffled, the sound forcing my eyes away from her belly. “You’re happy,” she noted, eyes glistening.

“Oh, sweetheart. I am so happy. Don’t doubt that for another second. I am thrilled as shit about this.”

Sobs broke from her throat, the kind that shook her body and made her a snotty mess. I lifted her and sat in the chair, tucking her into my lap. I stroked her hair while she cried and hated myself for not being here the past three days.

I never should have allowed grief and duty to pull me away.

“Hey,” I murmured when her crying quieted. “What about you? Are you happy?”

She looked up, eyes puffy and tired, but underneath, there was a spark in the blue. A glow. “I love him so much already,” she confided. A small smile played on her lips. “I know the timing is all wrong, but I don’t care.”

“Fuck the timing.” I smirked. “We’ll make it work.”

“I don’t know how.” She fretted.

I gave her a stern look. “You gotta stop stressing, sweetheart. That’s not good for you or the baby.”

Bellamy laid her head back against my shoulder and sighed.

A baby. A genuine smile graced my face. Too soon, it faded. “I wish Dad was still here to tell.”

Bellamy sat up. “He knew. I guess I did tell someone else before you.”

My gaze sharpened. “Dad knew about the baby?” I asked, covering her stomach with my hand.

She nodded. “Remember, I got to the room before you and Holly. He was awake, and it was right after my ultrasound. I told him. I wanted him to know that it wasn’t me he saved that night. It was his grandchild.”

Realization dawned. That night and my father’s sacrifice took on a whole new meaning. Because of him, my child would get to live.

“He was happy,” Bellamy disclosed, both hands covering mine where I held her. “He touched my stomach, too.”

Overcome with emotion, I couldn’t speak. It meant more to me than she could ever know that my father knew about this baby. That he knew he was a grandfather.

Here I thought I’d lost that father-son relationship when he passed, but in a way, his death allowed it to live on.

I pulled Bellamy close, rested my forehead against hers, and struggled to breathe normally.

Life had been so defined by death.

Not anymore.

Now it was defined by life.

My son or daughter wasn’t just a piece of me and Bells, but a piece of my father, too.

I gasped, remembering some of his last words. Take care of them… of him.

“What is it?” Bellamy worried, pulling back.

“He knew,” I murmured. “Dad called him a him,” I said, reaching again for her stomach.

She smiled. “I think it’s only fitting that this little guy is named after him. After all, Ren is the reason this baby is still here.”

My eyes clung to hers, asking if she really meant it.

She smiled softly. “I know it’s early, but Renshaw William Mattison has a very nice ring to it.”

“William?” I croaked.

My God, this woman was slaying me.

“Oh yes.” She stroked my face. “I couldn’t possibly have a son and not give him the name of my most favorite man alive.”

“How did you do that?” I rasped, clutching her.

“Do what?”

“Take one of the worst days of my life and make it one of the best.”

“Oh, that wasn’t me.” She smiled, glancing down. “That was little Shaw.”

“Shaw,” I echoed.

“Your dad will always be Ren. So this little one will have to be Shaw.”

I kissed her. There were no words that could even portray how I felt in that moment. How absolutely in love with her I was. As my tongue slid over hers and languidly explored her mouth, I wondered how the fuck I’d stayed away for three days, why I even tried. I was ashamed I’d blamed her for what happened for even a minute, ashamed I made her scared to tell me about the baby.

Ripping my mouth from hers, I sucked in a breath. “This won’t happen again,” I declared. “The next time you get pregnant, I want to know the second you do.”

“The next time?”

“Oh, sweetheart…” I smirked. “You didn’t think this was the only time I’d be getting you pregnant, did you?”

My lips devoured hers before she could even reply. Hunger opened inside me that felt close to desperation. I knew we had so much more to deal with. Life wasn’t really any less complicated than it had been before we’d walked into this house.

In fact, it was more complex than before.

But I was happy about it, which was more than I could have said that morning.

It felt as if I had a piece of me back. A huge chunk that had been ripped raggedly away was now healed like it hadn’t been broken at all. The awkwardness between us was shattered, with perhaps only a few shards left behind.

I could work with that.

I could do anything if Bellamy stayed in my arms.

A renewed sense of strength fortified me because I realized I hadn’t lost absolutely everything. I still had a lot left to protect. My father died making sure of it.

I wouldn’t let his sacrifice go to waste.